Camping In; Hotch/Reid; NC-17

[severity-softly.livejournal.com]

Title: Camping In
Authors: innerslytherin and severity_softly
Pairing: Hotch/Reid
Rating: NC-17
Word count: ~9,500
Summary: After a hard case, Aaron and Spencer spend time taking comfort in each other, and wind up saying much more than they'd planned.
Warnings: Unabashed Snuggly Romance? *g*
Notes: RP format. Written at least a month ago, so doesn't take into account the events of the last few episodes, specifically The Instincts and Memoriam. If you find any glaring errors, let us know!


Aaron Hotchner stared out the window of the jet, telling himself he wasn't brooding. He knew it was a lie, but pretending everything was fine made him feel a little better. Everyone else seemed to be asleep, so at least he could relax back into the seat and not worry about if they needed him. The case had been a bad one for him. They always were, when they involved children being hurt. He couldn't help but picture Jack, and when there was a pattern of abuse, that just brought up whole new dimensions for him.

After a while he sighed and rubbed his forehead, resting it in his palm and closing his eyes.

Spencer had been trying to sleep, but he couldn't manage it. They'd chased the unsub for quite some time before they'd caught him. Morgan was in much better shape than Spencer, and even he had collapsed once they gotten on the jet. The entire team was exhausted. Still, Spencer hadn't missed the dark look on Hotch's face. He hadn't been able to stop himself from wanting to simply take Hotch's hand and give it a firm, steadying squeeze. He couldn't, not now, not on the case, but the desire to comfort his lover was what was keeping himself awake now.

He stretched after a while, accidentally kicking Morgan's leg as he did. Morgan only groaned and shifted, and after stilling a moment, Spencer finally pushed off the couch and wandered back to where Hotch was sitting. "Hey," he murmured, giving Hotch a small smile.

Hotch opened his eyes and smiled back tiredly. "Hi. I thought you were asleep." He was glad to be wrong about that, though. Spencer could always make him feel better.

Spencer shrugged, his smile strengthening at Hotch's. "I was trying. I failed, obviously."

Hotch shrugged too and stretched his stocking foot out to brush against Spencer's leg, against the seat. "I'm glad you're not asleep," he admitted softly.

Spencer looked down, feeling a little too happy that Hotch was daring to touch him, even just a little, when the team was around. Even if they were sleeping. And it only confirmed that Hotch really was taking this harder than he wanted to let on. "I know," he murmured. He reached down to close his fingers around Hotch's toes under the table.

Hotch sighed and relaxed, his smile widening for a moment, then sliding away. He rested his head against the back of his seat. "When we left the police station, all I wanted to do was call Jack," he admitted. "And I would have, but ten o'clock on the west coast is way past his bedtime in Maryland."

Spencer nodded, running his thumb along the arch of Hotch's foot. He didn't necessarily get kids most of the time, and he certainly didn't want any of his own, but he loved that Hotch loved his son. Sometimes he even found himself wishing Jack was able to be more of a part of their lives together, just to be that much closer to his lover. "I know," he whispered again. "Call him before school tomorrow."

Hotch shrugged. "Haley wouldn't exactly thank me for interrupting their morning routine," he muttered. He let out another sigh, but this one was a release. Spencer's touch eased him. It was so good to know someone understood him, someone appreciated him and cared for him because of who he was, rather than in spite of it.

Spencer frowned, trying make sure what he said next sounded neutral. It was strange to feel guilty about saying anything bad or insensitive about Haley. Spencer had grown not to like her, even if he had thought she was nice at first. Still, Hotch had been married to her a long time, and insulting her almost felt a little like insulting him. "You're his dad; she'll get over it," he said after a moment, and he wasn't quite sure he managed a completely even tone, but it wasn't bad either.

The expression on Spencer's face made Hotch chuckle. He was well aware of how Spencer felt about Haley, and for the most part he agreed. There were still times he missed her, because she had been a part of his life for so long. But they were both happier apart, and he was grateful every day for his relationship with Spencer. But all things aside, she was still Jack's mother, the mother of Hotch's child, and he did his best to maintain a cordial relationship between them, just to make things easier on Jack. He tilted his head a little and smiled at Spencer. "I can call him after school tomorrow."

Spencer pursed his lips and sank a little in his seat, his hand slipping down to Hotch's ankle, his fingers moving over the jut of bone. If I have anything to say about it, you'll call in the morning, he thought, but didn't say. He didn't need to tell Hotch why it bothered him to see him so separated from his son. Hotch knew that issue ran deep with Spencer, the same way Spencer knew exactly why cases like this bothered Hotch so badly. "If that's what you want."

Hotch shrugged. "It's easier to do what she wants," he admitted. He could feel the tension seeping out of him as Spencer's hand moved. He knew he ought to stop it, but the team was asleep, and he couldn't help but enjoy the contact. "I'm looking forward to sleeping in my own bed tonight," he murmured.

Spencer was about to tell Hotch that easy wasn't always better, but it was probably a good thing Hotch switched the subject. He glanced back to make sure everyone was still sleeping, and then looked back at Hotch. "I was going to invite you over, but you have nicer sheets, actually," he whispered, smiling a bit.

Hotch's lips twitched and he nudged Spencer with his toes. "And a fireplace, and half a bottle of that really good red," he whispered back. He was starting to think they ought to be sharing a home, though he knew that was probably a bad idea. But he didn't sleep as well without Spencer anymore, and it just felt wrong to live apart. Then again, he still wasn't sure Spencer was ready to hear a suggestion like that.

Spencer's smile widened, and he leaned back, his eyebrows lifting for a moment as he nodded. "I'm so there."

Hotch laughed quietly. "You just want me for my wine," he teased.

"You have really great towels, too. Have I mentioned that?" Spencer replied, grinning.

Hotch shook his head. "I feel so used." He nudged Spencer again, then leaned back into his seat, just gazing at him.

Spencer watched Hotch for a moment, his gaze warm on Hotch's. If they didn't stop, they were in danger of the team waking up, and Hotch looked tired in spite of the faint smile on his lips. After a while, Hotch drifted off, and Spencer closed his eyes, feeling better about resting now that Hotch was. He slipped his hand out of the cuff of Hotch's pants in case he fell asleep too, but didn't move away.

It didn't feel like much later when JJ woke them to tell them the jet was landing. They didn't really say anything as everyone got off, all looking a little groggy. Spencer just gave Hotch a little glance as they headed for their cars, knowing he didn't need to tell Hotch he'd be over as soon as he went home to get fresh clothes.

When Spencer got to Hotch's house about an hour later, he let himself in and shut the door quietly behind him, kicked his shoes off at the door, and padded inside. Hotch was asleep on the couch, obviously having been waiting for him, and Spencer climbed on to the couch gently to straddle him, brushing fingertips through Hotch's hair to wake him.

Hotch woke when Spencer touched him, inhaling deeply and smiling. "Mmm, you ought to start leaving some clothes here," he murmured sleepily, sliding his arms around Spencer. He'd set an armful of blankets on one of the recliners, meaning to pour the wine and cuddle up on the floor, but he'd sprawled on the couch to wait for Spencer. He hadn't meant to fall asleep, but he'd started the fire and the flickering light and warmth had been too much to resist.

Spencer smiled. The thought was a little frightening, and as much as Spencer knew it was ridiculous to compare any sign of solidifying a long-term commitment to his parents relationship, it didn't stop the butterflies--when Hotch had given him a key, Spencer had panicked a little inside, though he really found it nice now. He wanted to try to keep pushing himself in this too; underneath his reservations he knew he craved stability just as much as Hotch did. "You'd clear a drawer for me?" he murmured.

Hotch stroked a hand through Spencer's hair. "I might even make closet space," he whispered back. As he woke up more, he realized he'd automatically said what he was thinking without giving any regard to the consequences. Still, maybe it was for the best. He'd spent so much time thinking about broaching the subject of taking the next step, he'd nearly frightened himself out of doing anything about it.

Spencer swallowed, and his chest felt a little tight, but he brushed his nose along Hotch's jaw and tried to breath normally. "We'd start mixing up our ties and people would talk," he breathed. Hotch's ties we infinitely nicer than Spencer's, so he doubted that would happen, but Spencer was just trying to keep the tone light.

"I'm sure no one would notice," Hotch lied, tightening his arms around Spencer. "Anyway, I keep an extra tie in my desk drawer. That way I could switch if you ever caught me in one of yours."

"You might look nice in that bright orange one of mine," Spencer said, and leaned back to look at Hotch for a moment before leaning in to kiss him. "Do I get wine in front of the fireplace, or do you just want to go to bed?"

Hotch laughed and pulled Spencer down for another kiss. "I have blankets, too," he said, nodding his head toward the recliner. "Wine in front of the fireplace is a requirement tonight. But you have to let me up first."

Spencer smiled and got up, then pressed his hand against Hotch's chest. "I know where it is," he said. "You get the blankets."

Hotch spread the blankets on the floor in front of the fireplace, smiling to himself. He was lucky Spencer seemed to enjoy the romantic side of him that was hidden from the rest of the team. For that matter, Spencer seemed to revel in it. It wasn't too surprising, considering how affectionless much of his life had been, and that just encouraged Hotch to make more romantic gestures.

Spencer came back with two wine glasses and the bottle of wine they'd opened a few nights earlier, and settled in front of Hotch, sitting cross-legged as he poured. The fire was soothing, and Spencer was starting to understand how Hotch had fallen asleep so quickly. He handed over a glass, then hooked a hand around Hotch's neck to kiss him deeply before he pulled back to pour his own glass.

"Mmm, you're wonderful," Hotch murmured, nuzzling Spencer's neck and kissing him softly. "I don't know what I'd do without you." He sat up and took a sip of the wine, holding it in his mouth for a moment to taste it before swallowing. It was a tad sweet for his taste, but it was good, and he knew Spencer liked it a lot.

"You'd live," Spencer said, brushing his fingers along Hotch's jaw. After a moment of enjoying the gentle touching, he shifted, nudging Hotch's legs apart to sit between them. He leaned back against Hotch's chest and pulled Hotch's free arm around him.

Hotch hummed contentedly and kissed Spencer's ear, tightening his arm. "I love this," he murmured, relishing the way Spencer relaxed against him.

Spencer traced his fingers over Hotch's arms. "I know. Me too," he said, and turned to kiss Hotch's neck. He sighed, relaxing, and turned back to watch the fire for a long moment. "Are you okay?" he asked after a while.

"I am now," Hotch said. He leaned his cheek on Spencer's shoulder. "It helps knowing that you understand," he added after a moment. His fingers traced idle circles over Spencer's stomach. "I never feel like I have to hide parts of myself from you."

"Good." Spencer turned a little against Hotch, but just pressed his face to Hotch's neck. "I try to understand as much as I can," he murmured, his finger moving down on thigh, firmly massaging as they went.

Hotch smiled faintly. "I don't feel like I have to prove myself to you. Everyone else wants me to be someone for them. You..." His smile strengthened. "You just want me." It was a good feeling, and one he hadn't gotten from Haley for a long time before their marriage fell apart entirely. It was a feeling he'd always had with Spencer, even before their relationship went beyond a professional one. He took a slow breath. "I'm so happy with you," he whispered.

Spencer pulled back a little to take a sip of his wine, then put the glass down to turn and face Hotch, swinging his legs over one of Hotch's and catching Hotch's gaze. "I know; you don't have to tell me," he whispered, his fingers brushing through short dark hair.

"I like telling you," Hotch said, still smiling. He kissed Spencer slowly, holding him close. "I don't ever want you to have to wonder how I feel about you."

Spencer drew a deep breath. He was sometimes overwhelmed by how affectionate Hotch could be, usually in a good way, and he had to ground himself a little bit before it ran away with him. "I don't," he said. He tightened his arms around Hotch and kissed him again, deepening it as he slid closer against Hotch.

"I know," Hotch murmured. He gave Spencer a soft kiss, then pulled away for a long sip of wine. He set the glass down and wrapped both arms around him. Humming contentedly, he let his eyes close.

Spencer was tempted to tell Hotch he was going to fall asleep on him, but he had a feeling Hotch would fight it if he did. Instead, he nudged Hotch down onto the blanket and curled up at his side. He propped his head up on one hand to look down at Hotch and brushed his thumb along the bridge of Hotch's nose, between his brows. He loved that there wasn't a frown there because of him. After a moment, he dropped his hand to trace soothing circles against Hotch's chest.

Hotch's eyes opened again when Spencer pushed him down, but he found them fluttering closed again under Spencer's touch. He was afraid he was going to fall asleep, and he tried to resist it, but it felt so good to be here in front of the fire with Spencer. He made a quiet noise and reached out until he could rest one hand on Spencer's skin.

Spencer's hand stilled when Hotch touched it, and he flattened it against Hotch's chest. It wasn't long before he felt Hotch's breath slow and deepen, and Spencer watched the light of the fire play over Hotch's face for a long time before his own eyes started to droop. He moved gently to turn the gas off in the fireplace, and pulled another blanket over before settling against Hotch and dragging the blanket over them.





When Spencer woke hours later, he felt groggy and warm. At some point during the night they'd shifted, Spencer curled up on his side and Hotch pressed up behind him. Hotch was awake now, and trying not to jostle Spencer as he tried to untangle the blanket. Spencer knew he'd get up if he didn't stop Hotch, and he wasn't letting Hotch get up this early on a weekend.

He reached back and put his hand on Hotch's hip, gripping lightly. "This's bit like camping in your living room," he mumbled. "Like it," he added, smiling sleepily.

"I was trying not to wake you," Hotch murmured guiltily. "Did you sleep all right?" His hips were aching a little; it had been probably at least a decade since he'd slept on a floor for any reason, and he suspected he was getting a bit old for it. Still, this did feel cozy and romantic. He kissed the back of Spencer's neck.

"Mm-hmm. Never been camping before," Spencer replied sleepily. "Go back to sleep," he added, rolling to face Hotch and only pushing enough of the hair that fell in his face out of the way to kiss Hotch gently.

Hotch's laugh was muffled by the kiss, but he wrapped his arms more tightly around him. "This isn't exactly real camping," he whispered, but hooked a leg around Spencer's and closed his eyes again.

"I can pretend," Spencer murmured, smiling. "'specially when I'm still mostly asleep. Can almost hear the crickets." His grin felt a little too lazy and he kissed Hotch again.

"Mmm." Hotch brushed his nose along Spencer's jaw. "Go back to sleep, then," he whispered. He didn't really want to be awake yet, even if his hips did hurt. It was too nice holding Spencer like this.

"Mm-hmm," Spencer hummed, tightening his arms on Hotch and tilting his chin up to kiss Hotch's nose.

Hotch chuckled and kissed Spencer once, then buried his face in Spencer's neck.

Under the warmth of the blanket and Hotch's strong arms around him, Spencer drifted off quickly again, feeling inordinately pleased that he'd kept Hotch in bed. Well, on the floor, anyway. When he stirred again, the light streaming in from the windows was brighter and the sun had warmed the room a bit.

Spencer sucked in a long breath and rolled carefully away from Hotch to stretch. He hadn't been awake enough last time to do much more than mumble... about... something he couldn't remember. The case the previous day was slowly filtering back into Spencer's mind, as well as the conversation he'd had with Hotch on the jet.

He turned and looked at Hotch. And in the light of day, Hotch did look just a little strange sleeping on the floor, but it was nice that Hotch humored him. He reached out to brush his fingertips down Hotch's chest, but stopped before he touched Hotch when he saw Hotch's cell phone on the ground near them.

His eyes darted between Hotch and the phone for a moment, then he decided that if Hotch killed him, it would be for a good cause. He picked up the phone and searched for Haley's phone number. He dialed it quickly and nudged Hotch, banking on him being too groggy to protest, then pushed the phone against his ear. "Talk to Jack," he whispered affectionately.

"Huh?" Hotch came awake slowly, aware that Spencer was trying to get his attention but unclear as to why. "What? What's wrong?"

Spencer made a face, hoping Hotch didn't sound completely out of it when Haley answered. He pushed up and rolled Hotch onto his back, climbing over him to straddle his hips. He was still holding the phone to Hotch's ear, which should have been more obvious now, but he lifted his brows anyway. "Phone," he said. "Jack." He pressed the button on the side to turn the ringing in Hotch's ear up.

"Jack?" Hotch started to push himself up on one elbow, then slumped back as he heard Haley's voice answer. "Haley," he said, squeezing his eyes shut and then opening them again. He hoped he sounded awake. He glared at Spencer.

"Aaron? Do you know what time it is? Is everything all right?"

He had no idea what time it was, actually. Early. "I know it's early," he said, an apologetic note creeping automatically into his voice. "Could I talk to Jack, just for a minute?"

"He's getting ready for school. Couldn't it wait?"

Hotch glanced at Spencer, then cleared his throat. "Actually, no. It'll only take a minute."

She sighed. "I'll get him."

Hotch was glaring at him, but Spencer couldn't help but smile. When there was a lull in the phone conversation (at least from the side he could hear), Spencer bent down to kiss Hotch's forehead. "Want coffee?" he said lightly.

"Please," Hotch said, his glare fading. He ran his fingers over Spencer's hair, then smiled when he heard Jack's voice say, "Daddy?!"

"Hey, Jack," he said, suddenly missing his son fiercely. "How's my little man?"

"I miss you, Daddy! Will you come see me soon?"

He closed his eyes when Spencer stood to pad into the kitchen. "I will soon, buddy," he promised, hoping it was one he could keep. "I was thinking about you last night, really missing you, too. I thought I'd see if Mommy would let me talk to you so I could tell you how much I love you."

Jack laughed, the high-pitched sound sending a little thrill of happiness through Hotch, even though it made him miss Jack more. "I love you, too, Daddy. Guess what, Mommy said she might let me get a puppy!"

"Wow, that's great, Jack. What kind?"

"A brown one!"

Hotch's smile wouldn't let go of his face, but it almost hurt. God, he wanted to see his son. "That'll be great. Every boy should have a dog." Well, every boy except Spencer, Hotch thought wryly. "Listen, your mommy probably wants you to finish getting ready for school. But I want you to know that I love you very, very much, son."

"I know, Daddy. I love you! Bye!" The phone clunked off loudly, as if Jack had hung up with all the enthusiasm in his body. Hotch slumped back on the floor and squeezed his eyes more tightly shut against the sudden stinging.

Spencer had started the coffee, holding his and Hotch's mugs under the drip until they were full and then leaving the carafe for the rest of it. He was listening to Hotch, though, smiling, even if it did make his chest ache a little because he never could stop himself from thinking about his own father when Hotch talked to Jack, and how he'd never gotten phone calls like this.

When he came back out, he was smiling still. He knew it was bittersweet for Hotch, but he climbed back over Hotch again. He put their coffees to the side and stroked his hands over Hotch's chest. "Feel better?" he murmured.

Hotch opened his eyes and wrapped his arms around Spencer, pulling him down for a kiss. "I think so," he murmured, though he wasn't sure. He felt better that he'd been able to tell Jack he loved him. He felt worse because every time he talked to Jack he convinced himself he was as bad a father as his own had been.

Spencer returned the kiss and propped himself up on his arms to look down at Hotch, his hair spilling around his face. "It's good for him," he said, and then lowered his voice. "You too. He's lucky."

"He's lucky his father lives in another state and never gets to see him?" Hotch muttered, but he ran his fingers up Spencer's back, taking comfort from the words anyway.

Spencer dropped his gaze and pressed his lips together. "He's lucky... that you love him." He sighed and rested down against Hotch's chest. "He's lucky that you care enough to be bothered by not seeing him, that you care so much it hurts."

"Love isn't the answer to everything," Hotch murmured, tightening his arms around Spencer. "I still believe my dad meant it when he said he loved me. I think he just didn't understand what love was." He sighed. "But who says I do? Maybe if I really loved him, I would have left the BAU for a job that let me be with my son."

Spencer sighed. He hated this conversation. It wasn't the first time they'd had it. "You're not your father. You'd never lay a finger on him. And you can beat yourself up all you want, but you didn't leave Jack. You left Haley." Spencer sat up and looked at Hotch. "You don't love her anymore, and it would have been more damaging for him to grow up with parents that were distant with each other and miserable than loving parents who are happier apart." Spencer was frowning at Hotch. "And I'm not saying it again, so shut up," he finished.

Did it feel like your father left Diana, or did it feel like he left you both? Hotch wanted to ask, but he'd only made that mistake the first time they had this argument. He knew William Reid hadn't been strong enough to handle having a son as brilliant and high-demand as Spencer must have been, any more than he'd been strong enough to handle a schizophrenic wife. Hotch sighed. "I'm sorry," he murmured. "You don't want to hear this again, anyway." He kissed Spencer's cheek.

"I don't, but mostly because I hate you thinking that way when you're one of the most noble people I know," Spencer said, and turned his head to brush his lips against Hotch's.

Hotch laughed. "I think you're biased," he breathed, burying his fingers in Spencer's hair. He kissed Spencer hungrily, suddenly feeling the urge to spill out all the thoughts he'd been having lately, the way he wanted to merge their lives more, the fact that he wanted Jack to know Spencer was Daddy's special friend... He tightened his arms around Spencer, pressing down the impulse. It was too much, probably too soon, and the last thing he wanted to do was scare Spencer off.

"Mmmph," Spencer managed, melting against Hotch, the heat of the kiss waking him more that the coffee sitting near them ever could. "I think you're amazing," he countered, and kissed Hotch again.

Hotch hummed into the kiss and rolled them over so he was leaning on Spencer. "God, what did I ever do to deserve you?" he murmured.

"You were you," Spencer whispered, pulling Hotch until he rolled on top. "I'm not a prize, but I'm still pretty sure that's what did it. Just you." He pulled Hotch in for another needy kiss.

When the kiss ended, Hotch was breathless, both from desire and from the sudden, heart-pounding fear over what he was about to do. "Spencer," he breathed, brushing his fingers down one cheek. "Spencer, I love you."

Spencer sucked in a breath. His body was already revving up, but his heart started thudding against his chest at those words, that familiar fear seeping back in under the surface of his thoughts. His eyes flicked between Hotch's for a moment, feeling a little overwhelmed. "Hotch," he breathed.

Hotch leaned down and brushed his lips across Spencer's. "I need to tell you that," he murmured. "Just as much as I needed to tell Jack. I'm lucky to have you in my life."

Spencer let out a quiet noise, and he wasn't even sure if it was out of desire or nerves, but he leaned up and kissed Hotch anyway. He'd known for a while how Hotch felt, and Spencer felt the same way, but something about saying it out loud felt made it more frightening. "It's okay. I don't mind. I-- Hotch..."

Hotch smiled faintly. "It's all right," he murmured, and shifted to kiss Spencer's throat. "You don't have to say it back." It would be nice, but he knew better than anyone, he thought, just how deep Spencer's abandonment issues ran. Just saying 'I love you' wasn't a free ticket to be trusted, not for people like the two of them.

"I want to," Spencer admitted, the tightness in his chest loosening a bit. He tilted his head back, offering more of his throat to Hotch. "...I do." He slid his hands into Hotch's hair.

Hotch smiled and kissed Spencer's throat again, his lips parted slightly, then nuzzled his jaw. "I'm glad," he whispered. "I didn't mean to pressure you, but..." He pulled back and met Spencer's eyes again. "Well, I hoped you did."

Spencer nodded and looked up at Hotch, swallowing the little lump that had formed in his throat. "This... scares me sometimes, but I'm trying. I want this," he said. "I want you. I want... everything. I just..."

"I understand," Hotch murmured, stroking his fingers over Spencer's hair. "Trust me, if this were anyone but you, I'd be having a lot harder time right now, myself." He smiled faintly. "But I already trust you with my life."

Spencer slid his hands down Hotch's sides, looking up at him, and God his chest was aching, but it wasn't aching in a bad way. He nodded again, and cleared his throat. "Can we try that again?" he asked, giving Hotch a sheepish smile.

Hotch laughed faintly and nodded. "Spencer, I love you," he whispered.

Spencer drew a deep breath his smile strengthening. It wasn't any less terrifying, but it still felt good to hear. And he'd already as much as admitted it; there wasn't anything to be afraid of. "I love you," he replied quietly, and pulled Hotch down for a slow, gentle kiss.

Hotch melted into the kiss, warmed and impossibly grateful for those words. He'd said them and Spencer hadn't run away, hadn't pushed him to arm's length... Spencer loved him, despite how frightening it was to love someone.

Spencer slid his arms around Hotch's shoulders, reminding himself that Hotch was the most solid person he knew; he shouldn't be afraid. He broke the kiss and pressed his cheek to Hotch's. "Want you," he breathed, hooking a leg with Hotch's. He suddenly felt like he needed physical proof of what they'd just said.

Hotch hummed and stroked a hand down Spencer's side. "Right here?" he asked, amused and turned on.

Spencer grinned, and then chuckled softly, sliding his hands down to cup Hotch's ass. He arched his head back to glance at the uncovered windows--they really only faced the side yard, but somehow it was exciting anyway--and then back at Hotch. "Why not?"

Hotch raised his eyebrows. "No reason I can think of," he murmured, and pressed against Spencer. "God, I can never get enough of touching you."

"Good," Spencer murmured. He reached for Hotch's top button, and then started laughing. "Still in your suit," he said. He'd forgotten they hadn't changed after getting here, and Hotch had lost the jacket and tie, but they were still dressed for work, even if their clothes were rumpled. "Need to fix that."

"I hadn't exactly planned to sleep out here last night," Hotch murmured, smiling and kissing Spencer again. He helped him with the shirt and started in on Spencer's shirt, too. "Want you naked."

"Good," Spencer repeated. "That'll help when you fuck me," he whispered. He started on Hotch's pants as Hotch worked on his shirt, pushing once he got the zipper open. It was strange being here, with the light streaming in, but Hotch was beautiful in the sunlight as Spencer bared him inch by inch.

Ignoring Spencer's teasing, Hotch wriggled out of his pants and underwear, then raised up to his knees over Spencer so he could kiss his chest. "You're so beautiful," he murmured, his fingers tracing over Spencer's skin.

Spencer smiled, running his hands through Hotch's hair. "So're you," he murmured, slipping his hands down to pull open his own pants.

"Mmm." Hotch kissed his way down to Spencer's stomach, his hands tugging at Spencer's pants as soon as he heard the zipper. He suddenly wanted so much to show Spencer he meant what he'd said.

Spencer lifted his hips and let Hotch pull his pants off him, pressing into the touch of Hotch's mouth as he did. He buried his fingers back in Hotch's hair and whimpered. "Aaron," he whispered, stroking a thumb down the side of Hotch's face.

Smiling briefly, Hotch pressed a series of wet kisses across to one hip. "Spencer, want you," he murmured, brushing his nose along Spencer's skin. He loved how responsive Spencer was to every touch.

The kisses and touches of skin against skin were sending little shivers through Spencer. He made a little noise of want and looked down, watching the way Hotch's lips ghosted across his skin. "Have me," he murmured. "Anything you want."

It wasn't really out of the ordinary for Spencer to make an offer like that, but suddenly Hotch felt a little overwhelmed. He looked up at Spencer, smiling faintly. "What do you want?" he asked, his voice soft. "What I want is to give to you."

Spencer drew in a breath and lifted his head a little more. He tried to think, and then laughed faintly because he suddenly realized he had no clear ideas because this wasn't really about sex at all. "I don't know. I offer because I want to make you happy," he admitted, and then couldn't help but laugh again.

Hotch laughed, too, partly because Spencer's laughter was contagious. "Please tell me our entire sex life hasn't paralleled 'Gift of the Magi'," he said, stroking teasing fingers up Spencer's side.

Spencer's laugh was a little stronger, and he slipped his hand down to lace his fingers with Hotch's. "I'm pretty certain there were decidedly fewer orgasms in 'Gift of the Magi'."

"Smartass," Hotch murmured, leaning down to flick a tongue over Spencer's nipple.

Spencer gasped, the little flick causing a shiver through him. "You like it," he said. You more than like it, he thought, and his stomach flipped, but it wasn't in such a bad way anymore. "I want you to make love to me," he blurted, and felt a little silly when heat creeped into his cheeks, but he didn't look away from Hotch.

Hotch lifted his head and gave Spencer a slow, happy smile. "I'd like to do that," he said, his gaze tracing over Spencer's face. "You're so cute when you blush." He moved up to capture Spencer's mouth with his own so as to silence any protests.

Spencer cheeks went hotter at that, and he frowned slightly as he returned the kiss. "Shh," he whispered when the kiss broke, his hands sliding down over Hotch's bare back. He had a feeling they already 'made love' on many occasions without daring to call it that.

Hotch slid a finger over Spencer's eyebrows, trying to smooth away his frown. "Don't be upset," he murmured, brushing his lips against Spencer's cheek. "I love that about you. I love that you haven't let our job make you a cynic, that you can still blush." He kissed Spencer's mouth softly. "You've captured my heart, Spencer Reid."

Spencer closed his eyes, those words washing over him and leaving him feeling a little like he was blushing all over now, which he sincerely hoped wasn't even actually possible. He swallowed hard, brushing his lips against Hotch's again. "I, ah... I don't know what to say to that," he murmured.

"You don't have to say anything," Hotch breathed, ghosting his lips across Spencer's jaw. "Just feel." He slid one hand down to circle Spencer's nipples, then splay against his chest. "Let me show you how beautiful and wonderful you are to me."

Spencer whimpered softly, his body remembering its excitement at the touch. He sort of felt like he should say something, but everything felt strange to say. "God, Hotch," he whispered, slidng his hand over Hotch's and then letting it continue up Hotch's arm.

Hotch smiled and lowered his mouth to Spencer's neck, then further to lick teasingly at his collarbone. "I love the tall, elegant way you're built," he murmured, stroking a hand down to cup Spencer's hip. "I love that I'm the only person who gets to see you like this." He glanced up at Spencer. "I love that no one has ever made love to you before me, and no one else will."

Spencer's lips parted in surprise, and he sucked in a breath, but then suddenly felt a little like he couldn't breath. Hotch was talking about the rest of their lives. God. Spencer licked his lips, panting softly and feeling light-headed. "Wow," he whispered, barely loud enough to hear.

Hotch's confidence, which had sort of carried him away, faltered for a moment at Spencer's surprised reaction. He kissed Spencer again, just a bare brush of their lips. "I don't want you to ever walk away from me, Spencer," he breathed. "I want you for the rest of our lives."

"Aaron," Spencer breathed, still feeling a little heady. There was a happiness fighting up inside his chest at the words, though, even through the fear of being promised things that might not come true. "I won't," he whispered finally. "I--Aaron." A small, hopeful smile finally broke across his face and he lifted his hand to brush through Hotch's hair before he realized he was trembling slightly.

Hotch smiled back at him and kissed him deeply, the release of his nerves turning the kiss hungry. He stroked a hand down to cup Spencer's ass, pulling their arousals together.

Spencer gasped, the rush of Hotch's words seeming to have lit his entire body up. He closed his fingers in Hotch's hair (what little could grasp of the short locks) to stop the shaking, and poured all the fear and excitement into the kiss, returning it with equal hunger. He slipped his leg around Hotch's and pressed up with a little moan.

"Sexy," Aaron breathed, rolling his hips against Spencer's. "Want to make love to you."

"God, yes," Spencer panted, kissing along Hotch's jaw and neck. The hand that wasn't in Hotch's hair slipped down, and he spread his fingers over the small of Hotch's back.

Hotch groaned and pinched lightly at Spencer's ass. "Need you." Shit--he needed lube, too, and it was in the bedroom. He frowned slightly. "Need to get up," he murmured.

Spencer gasped, and arched into the touch. Then frowned. "Wh-- w-- Are you okay?"

"Mmmm, need lube," Hotch managed, nipping gently at Spencer's jaw. "God, I don't want to stop touching you."

Spencer dropped his head back to the floor and squirmed a little under Hotch, not wanting to lose the pleasant weight of his body. He pressed into the little bites and made a noise somewhere between need and frustration. "Hurry."

"Hang on," Hotch murmured, and lowered his head to bite a little harder at Spencer's throat. "Be right back." It took him a moment to untangle himself from Spencer. He tried to hurry as he went back to the bedroom for the lube, but he found that his hands were shaking and he fumbled the drawer, then dropped the tube. God, he was as nervous as he'd been on his wedding night! Possibly more nervous. He knew what it was like to fail someone now.

Spencer stayed there a moment, trying to catch his breath, and now that Hotch had gone, his mind was racing again. He swallowed and pressed the heel of his hand against his erection, then reminded himself not to panic again. He drew a shaky breath, turned his head towards the hallway, and listened for Hotch.

After a moment, he rolled up to his feet and started towards the bedroom, and nearly ran into Hotch as Hotch was walking out. His arms went around Hotch immediately and he kissed him, walking them back towards the bed. "I got impatient," he explained.

Hotch laughed and wrapped his arms tightly around Spencer, pulling him down onto the bed. "You always get impatient," he murmured. He rolled them over and kissed Spencer soundly. "Do you know how good that makes me feel?" he breathed. "That you can't wait for me to be inside you?"

Spencer brushed his lips over Hotch's jaw, smiling softly against his skin and liking the little scrape of stubble that was forming since Hotch hadn't had a chance to shave yet. "I like feeling this close to you," he said, nipping softly. He wondered if that sounded weird, so he tried to elaborate. "I, mm, connected... I guess."

"Yes," Hotch breathed, a shiver of arousal going through him. "Joined." He brushed his cheek against Spencer's and worked the lube open one-handed.

"Mm-hmm," Spencer hummed, returning the touch and tilting his chin enough to kiss Hotch's temple. His hand slid down to curl around his own cock to give it a light squeeze, his body demanding touch. He whimpered, but then just slid his hand around Hotch and kissed him again.

"You're so gorgeous." Hotch pressed one slicked finger against Spencer's entrance, knowing he would be ready. The time for teasing was over. "You feel so good, Spencer."

"Aaron," Spencer whispered, sucking in a breath at the cool slickness against him. "Please. Need you."

Hotch loved it when Spencer called him by his first name. He slid his finger inside, kissing Spencer hungrily. God, he wanted to be inside Spencer now.

Spencer made a strangled noise and then moaned. "Ahh--mmm, no you. I need you."

"Spencer," Aaron breathed, "Spence...sure?" He had already pulled out and started slicking his cock, though, more than happy to comply.

"Yes," Spencer breathed, his voice getting a little more urgent. "Please. Aaron," he whispered, reaching down to grip Hotch's ass and nudge him forward a bit.

"God, yes," Hotch groaned, shifting closer and letting his cock nudge Spencer's entrance. "Love you," he added, pressing his lips against Spencer's cheek.

Spencer made a little noise of want and turned so that his lips were brushing Hotch's. "Show me," he whispered, and kissed Hotch, his lips teasing, soft as he waited for Hotch to move.

Moaning into the kiss, Hotch slid inside. He forced himself to take the time to settle inside Spencer, resting against him as pleasure shot through his body.

"Nnghh," Spencer managed, biting his lip as Hotch moved. It wasn't painful--not not, not after how he'd grown used to Hotch's body--but without preparation, he felt stretched, full, and he needed a moment to let his body relax. "Aaron," he panted, his fingers curling against Hotch's skin. "You... overwhelm me. Mmph, I love you."

Hotch felt a burst of happiness that was better than the physical pleasure. Having Spencer volunteer those words was the best thing that had happened to him in a long time. He slid his free hand down to curl around Spencer's erection. "Spence," he breathed, his lips brushing Spencer's cheek. "My Spencer, my lover."

"Mmm, yes. Yes, touch me," Spencer said, his voice almost pleading as the fingers around his cock only teased a need that had been growing more insistent. He shifted slightly, enjoying the feeling of Hotch's desire inside of him.

"God, you're wonderful," Hotch murmured. He circled his thumb over the head of Spencer's cock, spreading precome and teasing a little more, then he began to move inside Spencer, stroking him in time with his thrusts.

"Gah," Spencer gasped, and his breath went ragged as Hotch started to move, the slide of Hotch inside him sending little thrills through him. He dropped his head back and slid his hand up to cup Hotch's jaw, his fingertips brushing through the hair at Hotch's temple. "Good," he whispered.

Hotch thrust slowly, watching Spencer's face hungrily. "Talk to me, Spencer," he breathed.

"Mmhhhm," Spencer whimpered, and shifted down to meet Hotch as he moved, the pace of it heightening the desire running through Spencer. He opened his eyes and looked back up at Hotch, his expression falling into lines of want. "What do you want me to say?"

"Tell me what you're feeling, what you're thinking, anything." Hotch leaned in and kissed Spencer tenderly. "I like listening to you."

Spencer whimpered into the kiss and shifted down against Hotch again. "I--" he started, and then moaned softly as a shiver ran up his back. "God, you feel good," he said.

Hotch made a hungry noise and kissed Spencer again, then trailed his lips along the angular jaw. He thrust harder a few times, then went back to his slower pace.

Spencer gasped, clinging lightly to Hotch as he sped, and then relaxing again with a long breathy groan as Hotch slowed. "I love... how well you know my body," he murmured, trying to keep talking for Hotch even if it felt a little awkward.

"Mmm, I love studying it," Hotch replied, nipping lightly at his jaw. It was such a thrill to make Spencer respond like that.

Spencer let out another little noise of pleasure and offered more of his neck and jaw to Hotch, letting out a little laugh when he had enough breath to do it. "Good student," he managed.

Hotch laughed faintly and nibbled along Spencer's neck, his thrusts growing more erratic as he got distracted. When he noticed that, he chose a spot and sucked, evening out his rhythm again.

"God," Spencer breathed, drawing his knees up to Hotch's sides and letting his calves rest over the small of Hotch's back and his ass. "Mmmm," he hummed, pressing up against Hotch's mouth, not caring whether he left a mark.

Hotch made a noise of amused protest and nipped. "That's not talking," he said, and went back to sucking.

"Sorry," Spencer panted, trying to steady his breath enough to say more, but the continued gentle movements of Hotch inside him were making his body scream for more, even as he indulged in the tenderness of it. "So good," he managed, but he'd already said that. "Wanted you for so long before... before I had you."

Hotch smiled against Spencer's skin and treated him to a few more hard thrusts. He loved hearing that. Pleasure was curling slowly through him, building at a leisurely pace. He wanted to make this last.

Spencer cried out at that, and when Hotch slowed again his nerves were on fire. "So... good... to me," he managed, forming words around the noises of desire that Hotch was pushing from him with each gentle thrust. "Aaron... Aaron... I--" He was quickly losing the ability to think straight, or rationally, or censor himself, which is probably how the words that followed managed to tumble from his lips. "--Love you; think I've loved you... for... I don't know. God!"

Hotch's throat tightened a little at Spencer's words. He moaned against Spencer's throat and raised his head to kiss Spencer passionately, thrusting hard and deep. He couldn't imagine his life without Spencer.

Spencer moaned into the kiss, his noises growing more desperate as Hotch moved, all swallowed by the press of their lips and the battling of their tongues until they broke apart, breathless. "More!" he cried out. "Aaron, please!"

"Love you," Hotch panted. He kept thrusting hard and increased his speed, nipping and sucking at Spencer's jaw. "Need you." The pleasure coiling inside him began to increase more swiftly.

"Yes!" Spencer tried to continue meeting Hotch's movements, but between the increased speed and the position he'd put himself in, he lost rhythm and just arched against the mattress, letting the movement of Hotch's hand sent wave after wave of pleasure through him.

"Gorgeous," Hotch managed, but he was losing the ability to think as much as Spencer seemed to be. He was getting closer to his own climax, watching Spencer as he thrust and trying to hold off as long as possible.

Spencer couldn't do anything to stop the little exclamations of pleasure, but they were wordless now. He tightened his arms and legs around Hotch, pulling him close as his body hummed, feeling like he'd fall apart from need any moment. "Aa--Nngh..."

Hotch groaned and squeezed Spencer's cock, stroking faster, but completely out of rhythm with his thrusts. God, it felt so good! He caught Spencer's mouth in a quick kiss, but couldn't hold it because he was breathless.

Spencer made a high-pitched noise as Hotch's hand went tighter, and for a moment it was hard to focus on his own pleasure when Hotch's movements went out of sync. The distraction only lasted for a second though, and then his orgasm hit him hard, his entire body tensing as he came, clinging to Hotch. "Ungh, yes," he managed, as his body started to uncoil, panting hard as Hotch continued to move.

"Oh, God, God, Spence," Hotch gasped, thrilled at the way Spencer looked and felt as he came. He was so beautiful, and he was only for Hotch. It was exciting and fueled his desire. Hotch milked Spencer through his orgasm, then shifted his hand to cup Spencer's ass, driving into him harder, with slower, more deliberate thrusts now that he wasn't dividing his attention between Spencer's cock and his own rhythm.

Spencer's body was still tingling from release, and each of Hotch's thrusts sent a jolt through him. He gasped and arched against the bed with each one, and Hotch left him just enough time to settle between the thrusts before he drove inside Spencer's body again. "Mmmmmm," he moaned, swallowing another high-pitched sound when Hotch pushed in again.

Hotch could feel his body crying out for release, the pleasure becoming almost too much. The way Spencer was arching under him had Hotch shaking with need, and finally he gave in and thrust with abandon. The sensations overwhelmed him, and finally he cried out Spencer's name as he climaxed.

Spencer was moaning again by the time Hotch stilled, then the sounds dissolved and went quiet when Hotch slumped against him. He tightened his arms again and let his feet drop to the mattress. "Aaron," he murmured, tracing his fingers over Hotch's sweat-damp back.

Breathing hard, Hotch turned his head to bury his face against Spencer's neck. "Spencer," he answered, but he couldn't find another word after that. He was too wrapped up in glorious post-orgasmic haze. Their sex life was great, but it hadn't been quite this charged for a while, emotionally, and it felt wonderful.

Spencer drew a deep breath, trying to focus and failing. "Best morning ever," he breathed.

Hotch laughed faintly and shifted. He was still trying to catch his breath, and Spencer's tight hold on him wasn't helping. He didn't want to pull away, though. He loved how much Spencer needed and wanted him. "I agree," he managed.

Hotch's voice sounded a little strange, and Spencer realized a second later that he was nearly squeezing Hotch. He cleared his throat and let go. "Mm, sorry," he murmured.

Hotch hummed and kissed Spencer's throat. "S'okay." He laughed faintly. "I love the way you touch me."

Spencer smiled and laughed too. "I think I get the better end of that deal; love the way you fuck me."

"Mmm, maybe we ought to switch next time," Hotch murmured, stroking a hand over Spencer's skin. "You always seem to enjoy it so much."

Spencer hummed softly and lifted a hand to brush through Hotch's hair. "Which is exactly why we shouldn't switch," he whispered, though, truthfully, the idea was enticing... even if he wasn't certain he could manage the coordination Hotch had.

"Maybe I'm curious," Hotch murmured. It was more than a 'maybe'. He was curious, and although at the beginning of their relationship he had been unwilling to give up that much of himself, he was well beyond the emotional reasons he had hesitated. Besides, Spencer wasn't shy about initiating sex; Hotch found himself curious about whether he would enjoy topping.

"Mmm," Spencer hummed, and turned his head to kiss Hotch's forehead. "Okay," he whispered. "If you want." His stomach twisted a little, but he ignored it; it was stupid to let that make him nervous.

Hotch lifted his head to look at Spencer. "We don't have to, if you don't want to," he said, trying not to sound disappointed.

"No," Spencer said quickly, holding Hotch's gaze. "I want to; I've just... never before." He stroked his fingers down Hotch's cheek. "And you're so good," he added, smiling softly.

Hotch laughed faintly. "Practice makes perfect," he murmured. He kissed Spencer slowly. "I never wanted to try it, before you," he admitted. "But I trust you, Spencer." He lowered his head to rest on Spencer's shoulder. "I love you."

Hotch's words sent a little thrill through Spencer, his smile widening, and then when Hotch finished, Spencer remembered all the words that he'd said while Hotch was inside him. He sucked in a breath, and closed his eyes. It's okay. "We should camp out by your fireplace more often," he murmured.

Hotch laughed again and rolled off of Spencer and onto his back, tugging Spencer over next to him. "Only if we get some thicker blankets," he said teasingly. "I'm not as young as I used to be."

"We could get an inflatable mattress," Spencer said, wrapping his arms around Hotch and grinning. "And a tent."

"How could I resist falling for you?" Hotch asked, laughing again. "I've never met anyone else who actually appreciates my sense of humor." He kissed Spencer and let out a long, contented sigh. "I'm so happy." He didn't even sound surprised when he said that, any more.

Spencer kissed Hotch's jaw. "I love that you think I'm kidding," he said, and his own tone was teasing, but suddenly he realized part of what he did for Hotch was make him play, which was something Hotch sorely needed most of the time. Spencer resolved to go buy a tent.

"Hmm." Hotch smiled and closed his eyes, holding him close. He felt pleasantly drained, and--not for the first time in their relationship--tempted to stay in bed late. Not for the first time, he decided to give in to the impulse. After all, Spencer was here where he belonged, and the work wouldn't go anywhere.

Spencer kissed Hotch's shoulder and then relaxed against it, feeling pleasantly sore after their exertion. "Sleep more," he whispered, and hooked his leg with Hotch's. "I'll make breakfast later." He brushed his thumb over Hotch's brow and relaxed.

"Well, if you're going to cook for me, I'll do whatever you say," Hotch mumbled. He let himself relax further, feeling utterly happy as he drifted towards sleep.

You always do whatever I say, Spencer thought, then closed his eyes and melted against the warmth of Hotch's body.

Comments

[innerslytherin]

LOL