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geekystudmuffinTitle: The Wizard in Daddy's Bed
Authors:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
innerslytherin and severity_softly
Pairing/characters: Hotch/Reid, Jack Hotchner, and Haley Hotchner
Rating: PG-13 (if that)
Summary: Aaron and Spencer's weekend with Jack doesn't start out very well...but thanks to a little magic, Jack doesn't seem to notice.
Word count: ~7,000
Notes: Self-beta'd, so feel free to point out any errors.
This is part of the "Fathers Are Not Born" universe, all of which can be found at this tag. This is part THREE, though each installment may also be read as a stand alone fic. :)
Aaron Hotchner wasn't the sort of man who enjoyed personal confrontations. He didn't back away from them, but he certainly didn't seek them out, which was why he'd ignored Haley's passive-aggressive behavior regarding his job for over a year. He'd actually been relieved when she finally issued him an ultimatum--don't go to Milwaukee--because he'd been able to confront that directly.
And he still believed, a year and a half later, that he'd made the right choice. Even when he got home a little late from work, because he'd stopped at the grocery store to pick up Jack's favorite cereal, and found Haley there ahead of him and glaring at Spencer in the living room. It was possible her expression had something to do with the fact that Jack had his arms wrapped around one of Spencer's legs.
"Sorry I'm late," Aaron offered, wondering what had been said before he got here. "I needed to stop at the grocery for a few things." He held up the two bags as if he needed to prove his story.
Haley kept staring at Spencer and Jack for a long moment, then she turned a furious gaze on Aaron. Her face was white. His heart sank.
"What's going on?" Aaron asked.
He thought he saw Spencer open his mouth, from the corner of his eye, but Haley beat him to an answer.
"Jack says Spencer is your boyfriend," she said in a low voice.
Spencer reached down to touch the top of Jack's head when Jack squeezed the leg into a death grip, but then looked at Aaron. "Ah, should I go?"
"No!" Jack said, looking up at Spencer and giving him a look that clearly threatened tears if Spencer disobeyed Jack. Spencer was getting more comfortable around Jack, but he still wasn't all that great at being assertive with Jack, so Aaron doubted that Spencer would disobey.
"No, but you can take Jack to his room to play, if you want," Aaron said, because Jack really didn't need to see him and Haley fight... which it seemed like Haley was intent on doing.
Spencer nodded and tried to take a step with Jack still attached. Jack giggled and then tugged at Spencer's shirt. Spencer obediently scooped him up and carried him out of the room. Aaron couldn't help watching him, a smile tugging at his lips even as he tried to school his expression. Finally he turned to face Haley.
"Spencer Reid is your boyfriend?" Haley demanded, glaring at him. "You told our son that you kiss another man? For that matter, what the hell are you doing with another man? My God, Aaron, are you trying to embarrass me?"
Aaron felt his eyebrows drawing together. "What I'm trying to do, Haley, is build a little bit of happiness out of what you left of my life. You aren't a part of that any more. You walked away. I hardly see how my decisions now have any bearing whatsoever on your life."
"They have bearing on my life when my son is walking around telling people that his father is gay!" Haley snapped.
"Is he really telling people that, Haley? Because it's been several months since we told him about us, and you seem awfully surprised for him to have been spouting off about it to everyone," Aaron said. Actually, Aaron had been surprised not to have gotten an angry phone call sooner, but when he didn't, he wasn't about to bring it up himself. His love life wasn't any of her business any more, and while he wasn't going to hide his relationship with Spencer from her, he didn't think he owed her any warning or explanation either.
"I'm not surprised, Aaron. I'm angry," she said. "He mentioned it months ago, but I thought he was making up stories. Then today I bring him by, and Reid is here when you're not, and Jack is trying to crawl into his arms!"
"And?" Aaron asked, and started into the kitchen with the bags of groceries. "I still don't see why this is a problem."
She followed him. "Because you were married to me! All those years, Aaron! What the hell is going on?" she said.
"Again, I'm not sure I see that it's any of your business," Aaron said, fighting to keep his voice even as he started unpacking the groceries. "I have every right to happiness, even if it isn't with you. Spencer does the same job I do. He understands how important it is to me. He understands who I am, Haley."
He caught himself at the exact moment she recoiled. Before he could utter an apology, though, she was snapping back at him. "Oh, of course, I was the one in the wrong because I thought that you should be a husband and father instead of trying to be Superman!"
"I may not have been around as much as either of us would have liked, but when I was here, you had me a hundred percent," he retorted, despite telling himself it would do no good to have this argument. He drew in a sharp breath and pinched the bridge of his nose for a moment, then shook his head. "I'm not going to do this, Haley. I loved you for over half my life. I still care about you and I want you to be happy. But my happiness is no longer tied to yours. What I do with my life, and whom I choose to spend it with, is not your business any longer."
"The things that you do that affect our child are my business, Aaron," Haley growled. "But as usual, you're being selfish. You only care about what you want."
"How does this affect Jack?" Aaron retorted, glaring at her. "Aside from giving him another positive male role model, which is hardly something I should think you can complain about. At least I'm not sneaking around and trying to hide my relationship with Spencer! Do you think that would somehow be healthier for Jack?" He shut one of the cabinet doors, just managing to refrain from slamming it.
Haley was staring at him, her gaze resentful. "Will it be healthy for Jack to get teased at school when he says his daddy is dating a man? Is it healthy for him to think maybe you never loved me because now you're--" She let out a frustrated gust of air and dragged her fingers through her hair.
Aaron narrowed his eyes. "Don't you dare make that sort of implication," he said, lowering his voice. "I loved you with every inch of me, Haley. Just because I was never good enough, never the man you really wanted, doesn't mean I didn't try. And what matters to Jack is that we both love him. Neither of us were happy together--do you think having his parents together but miserable would have been better?"
He clenched his jaw and walked out to the family room, realizing that his voice had been rising with every word. God, this was just like the last days before the divorce, when he'd been desperately trying to save the marriage that Haley just didn't want any more. Except now he was being attacked for moving on, where before she'd attacked him for holding on.
Haley had followed him out. "Aaron, you were never home!" she said, her voice going shrill. "You were always off with your team! And now suddenly you're sleeping with one of them? With a man! What am I supposed to think? How many times was I left here alone, coping by myself with a fussy baby and a lawn that needed mowing and all the damn jobs of a household by myself, while you were off somewhere with Spencer Reid?!"
Aaron spun on his heel and took a step closer. "Don't you dare accuse me of infidelity, Haley!" he shouted.
"Whether you were sleeping with him or not, whether or not you even knew you wanted him then, you are and were every bit as guilty of emotional infidelity as I was," Haley hissed. "You were always with them. And him," she added, her own voice rising steadily. "And this thing with him, Aaron, it throws everything we had into question! Jack's four! And--"
There was a sound from upstairs that made them both jump and fall silent, but a second later the sound became clear. Spencer had turned on some sing-along tape or another in Jack's room. When Aaron looked back at Haley, she was clutching her chest, and Aaron let out a gusty breath and looked away.
The music was too loud. Far louder than Spencer would have normally turned it, and it didn't take long for Aaron to figure out why.
"Aaron," Haley said, and he looked back, his gaze still angry. "Aaron, I don't understand this."
He stared at her. She didn't have to understand it.
Eventually, she let out a bitter laugh and looked back up the stairs. "Jesus, is he trying to deafen Jack?"
"No, he's trying to keep him from hearing us fight."
Her gaze jerked back to his, her lips parting in surprise.
Aaron shook his head, his chest aching. "Just...just go, Haley," he said quietly. "Please."
She stared at him, but he wasn't about to explain Spencer Reid to his ex-wife, and there was nothing else to say without doing just that. He'd gotten the message, and he wasn't going to argue any more.
"For the record, I am not pleased about this, Aaron," she said. Her tone was cold, but she wasn't shouting any more.
"If you want to discuss something about our son, we can do so," he said evenly. "In private, while he's staying with his grandparents or a baby-sitter. I won't do this where he can hear." He caught himself before apologizing to her, because he wasn't sorry at all for what he'd said. He was only sorry he'd said it so loudly Jack and Spencer could hear.
She made a quiet noise, either of frustration or hurt, but she just turned and let herself out of the house without speaking. Aaron walked to the door more slowly and locked it behind her, then slumped against it for a long minute, rubbing his hands over his face and fighting the sudden, horrible urge to cry.
He didn't cry, of course. He'd learned not to cry when he was Jack's age. He'd shed no tears over his shattered marriage. He'd barely shed tears over his Dad's casket, despite the anguish locked up inside. He knew, all too well, what it was like growing up in a house full of anger and resentment and violence, and he would shoot himself before he did that to Jack. But he and Haley had thought nothing of airing old, stupid grievances at the top of their lungs while both their son and Aaron's lover were in the house.
Finally Aaron swallowed hard and shoved himself away from the door. He headed upstairs, his feet feeling like they were made of lead.
When he reached the top of the stairs, he could finally hear Jack yelling over the music in something akin to singing, interspersed with giggling. He felt his shoulders relax a little, and a little surge of gratitude for Spencer shot through him, pushing through the regret. He nearly hesitated interrupting them, but then went to the door. He pushed it open, knowing neither of them would hear him knock over the music.
Jack was wearing a cowboy hat that was two sizes too big and a little gun holster, complete with a plastic six-shot Remington, that Dave had given him for Christmas. Aaron couldn't stop himself from smiling. Dave had told him if he was going to grow up to be Clint Eastwood like his pop, he needed to start practicing now. Jack hadn't understood, but he'd giggled, and the little costume had gotten a lot of use since then.
Aaron leaned against the doorjamb, watching Jack bouncing around Spencer. He felt like his chest was swelling. His family might not be what most people thought of as a 'normal' one, but God, it was wonderful. As he watched them, Spencer noticed him and lifted his head to meet Aaron's gaze.
"Hey," he murmured (which Aaron saw more than heard), and Jack followed his gaze.
"Daddy! Spencer does magic!" he said, registering just above the music, his eyes wide. And as thankful as Aaron was for Spencer distracting Jack, he knew Spencer was going to regret ever showing Jack a magic trick. Toddlers were relentless.
"He does?" Aaron said, crossing the room to shut off the music before crouching down and widening his eyes. "Spencer, will you show me?" In Aaron's opinion, Spencer had already done magic simply by keeping Jack from hearing the fight. Aaron hoped his gaze conveyed his gratitude properly for the moment.
"Show him! Show him!" Jack demanded.
Spencer smiled, holding Aaron's gaze for a moment, and then he looked back at Jack. "One of the ones I just did or a new one?"
"A new one!" Jack said, beaming.
"Ah, okay," Spencer said, and looked around him. After a minute, he crawled across the room and dug through a box of Legos. When he came back, he shoved at Aaron's thigh, sending him falling out of the crouching position and onto his ass. Jack laughed riotously, and Aaron gave Spencer a playful glare, but Spencer just held out a Lego to Jack. "This one has a chip in it, see?"
Jack got very close and looked at it, then looked back up at Spencer and nodded.
"Remember what it looked like," Spencer said, and with a little wave of his hands, the Lego "vanished". Jack's mouth dropped open when Spencer showed him.
Aaron gasped dramatically and made a show of looking at the floor around them. "Where'd it go?"
"It's magic, Daddy!" Jack exclaimed.
Spencer grinned. "Check your pockets," he told Aaron. When Aaron obeyed, he found the Lego in his right pants pocket. He held it out on his palm and stared at Spencer, wondering how he'd managed the trick.
Spencer just shrugged at him, and looked back at Jack. "Is that the same one?" he asked, and Jack leaped over to Aaron and snatched the Lego, inspecting it closely.
"It's-- yes!" Jack beamed up at his father, then leaned up and whispered, "Spencer's a wizard. Di'you know you kissed a wizard?"
Aaron was startled into a laugh. "I didn't know that," he confessed, crossing his legs and leaning forward. "He's very good at magic, isn't he? Did you thank him for showing you the trick?"
"Thank you!" Jack shouted, jumping at Spencer and hugging him around the neck, his cowboy hat falling off.
"Urgh," Spencer said, looking startled, and then patted Jack on the back awkwardly. It was funny that the simple affection seemed to be getting easy for Spencer, casual touches and such, but blatant gestures still seemed to throw him a bit. "You're wel--"
"ANOTHER ONE!"
Spencer winced and darted a 'save me' look at Aaron over Jack's shoulder.
"I think it might be time for supper," Aaron said, smiling. "Are there any hungry cowboys or wizards in this room?"
"ME!" Jack shouted, and Spencer winced again.
Aaron bit his lips together to keep from laughing, then said, "Indoor voice, Cowboy Jack."
"Me," Jack insisted, his voice moderately quieter.
Aaron nodded. "What do hungry cowboys eat for supper?" he wondered, glancing at Spencer.
"Macaronis and smashed potatoes!" Jack let go of Spencer and bounced excitedly. "And cupcakes!"
Aaron grinned. "Spencer's going to have to make cupcakes appear from thin air, then, because we don't have those." When Jack gave Spencer an expectant look, Aaron regretted saying it.
"I, ah, I can't do food," Spencer said, and then glared at Aaron when Jack whined. "Magic food tastes yucky. The, ah, space/time continuum gets it... dirty," Spencer explained. Jack still looked disappointed, but now he also looked confused.
Aaron laughed and scooped Jack up in his arms, Jack flailing to retrieve his fallen hat at the last second. "Magic food makes you more hungry instead of filling you up," Aaron said, and Jack's expression cleared. "Come on, let's see about the macaroni and mashed potatoes."
"And basghetti?" Jack added.
Aaron grinned. "Maybe spaghetti tomorrow," he said. "Maybe. Come on downstairs." He offered Spencer a hand up.
Spencer took it and let Aaron pull him up, and Aaron pulled him in for a tiny kiss. Jack made a funny, happy squeak at it, but otherwise didn't say anything.
"Can Spencer leber-- lebi-- float me downstairs?" he asked.
"Mmm, I think you have to be at least ten before you can be levitated. It's very complicated." Aaron shot Spencer a look that he thought clearly indicated that Spencer was going to be sorry, if he wasn't already, that he'd started doing magic.
Jack's face scrunched up, then he turned to Spencer. "Make me grow up faster."
"Ah..." Spencer said. Aaron gave him a moment, but when Spencer didn't say anything else, Aaron rescued him again.
"You'd miss all your friends at school if you weren't the same age as they were anymore," he pointed out.
"Spencer could make all of them big too!" Jack said.
"Oh, I don't know. That might be too much work for one wizard," Aaron said.
"Then just me 'n' Sarah," Jack insisted.
Aaron raised an eyebrow, a little surprised, but knowing he could shift the conversation away from Spencer and his wizardry here, at least. "And who's Sarah?"
"She's my girlfriend!" Jack explained, as Aaron settled him at the table.
Aaron couldn't help but laugh. "Oh? Well, just tell me before you run off and get married, okay?"
"Mm-hmm," Jack agreed, grabbing the salt and pepper shakers off the table and playing with them, spilling their contents all over the table top as he danced them around. "She has blue eyyyyees, and blue haaiir, and blue teeeeth... and blue fiiiingerrrrs," he said. "And she gave me a cookie on Friday!"
"She sounds nice. And very beautiful," Aaron said, knowing he was grinning stupidly.
Spencer fell in behind him, working on the mashed potatoes as Aaron made macaroni. "Ah... what planet is she from?" he asked seriously.
Jack giggled loudly. "Earf, silly!"
The meal was predictably messy, with the usual struggle to get Jack to eat instead of chatter like a magpie. At least Jack was past the food-throwing stage, or Aaron was certain Spencer would have ducked out to the den with his plate. After dinner, Jack wanted to play in the backyard, which was more than fine with Aaron. They put on jackets and went out, Aaron pulling Spencer against him as they stood on the deck and watched Jack running his toy cars along the railings.
"I'm sorry," Aaron said after the silence had stretched for a couple minutes.
Spencer sucked in a breath, as though he hadn't expected those words, and then turned to look at Aaron. "For what?" he murmured. "Was my fault about the magic tricks."
"You know what I'm talking about," Aaron said, tightening his arm around Spencer's shoulders. "For earlier. I shouldn't have argued with Haley while the two of you could hear. I'm sorry."
Spencer's lips thinned and he nodded. "It happens," he said, and shrugged. "It's fine."
"No, it's not," Aaron said. "You don't deserve to be subjected to that. It won't happen again." He didn't take his gaze from where Jack was now driving his cars along the edges of the steps in a high-speed chase.
"Aaron..." Spencer paused for a long time, then leaned over and kissed Aaron's cheek while Jack was totally engrossed in what he was doing. "You don't owe me anything. Not an apology or an explanation. I just..." He dropped his gaze, his hair falling across his eyes. "I just didn't think he needed to hear it." There was a touch of vulnerability in Spencer's voice that made Aaron's chest ache all over again.
He pressed a kiss against Spencer's forehead. "You were right," he murmured. After a moment he smiled faintly. "This is why I think you sell yourself short as father material." He brushed Spencer's hair out of his face.
"It's only because I can relate," Spencer admitted quietly, his lips curving into a rueful smile, and he leaned against Aaron a little more.
Aaron nodded and stroked the backs of his knuckles against Spencer's cheek. "I'm sorry," he murmured. "I don't want that in our home." He was still looking at Spencer when something crashed rather painfully into his foot. He yelped and looked down to find a dump truck resting on his toes and Jack grinning up at him.
"Daddy, you're in the road! You have to move!"
Aaron breathed a laugh and stepped back. "I'm sorry. I should pay more attention."
"Yes, you should," Jack told him. "Move, Spencer!" He was starting to get a little whiny, which meant he'd be ready for bed soon enough.
Spencer actually jumped when Jack rammed his foot too. He got out of the way quickly, and Jack continued across the deck. Once he got out of earshot, Spencer looked back at Aaron. "I told you that you didn't owe me an apology."
"I know that," Aaron said. "But it's important to me." He knew all too well what it was like to be anxious about repeating patterns in your own family. "I've always sworn I would be nothing like my biological father," he murmured. "And I've always relied on my partner to call me on it if I misstep." He glanced at Spencer. "So I do understand how you feel."
Spencer looked at him for a moment, and then nodded. "Okay. But it wasn't... never mind." He kissed Aaron quickly.
Aaron smiled at the kiss, but didn't look away from Spencer. "It wasn't what?" he prompted, though he would let it go if Spencer really didn't want to talk about it. He knew Spencer worried about his role in Jack's life, but Aaron thought he did a good job.
Spencer glanced at Jack, then back at Aaron and shook his head, and Aaron thought maybe Spencer thought this was another conversation Jack didn't need to hear. "Nothing," he murmured. "It's fine."
***
Getting Jack to bed was usually less of a struggle simply because he wore himself out. But this time he'd fussed and pouted and said he wanted Spencer to read him a story after Aaron had already read him one. Aaron had promised Spencer might read one tomorrow night, and even though Spencer had been perfectly willing to read one then, he'd refrained from offering because of the stern expression on Aaron's face.
Finally, after one last drink of water, Aaron had come downstairs to collapse on the couch next to him with a sigh.
Spencer immediately curled up next to him and kissed his neck. "Okay?"
"Exhausted," Aaron said, but he wrapped his arms around Spencer and smiled. "I know you were willing to read to him, but you understand why I didn't want you to, right?"
"Mmm," Spencer hummed, and snuggled against Aaron. "I think so."
"And?" Aaron prompted, which made Spencer laugh. He sounded like he was in lecture mode.
"Because you want him to understand that when you say something, you mean it," Spencer said obediently, and bit Aaron's jaw lightly. "I'm not in Parenting 101, Aaron."
Aaron laughed and kissed him. "Sorry."
"Mmm," Spencer hummed, then laughed too, and then something poked his wrist when he pulled Aaron closer.
Oh.
He laughed a little more and pulled back. "Ah..." He flicked his wrist and was suddenly holding the Lego that he'd shown Jack back in the bedroom up for Aaron to see. "I was starting to run out of places to hide things," he informed Aaron, pulling a bouncy ball out after the Lego, and then going for a toy soldier down the front of his shirt. "I sort of forgot they were all still there."
Aaron laughed. "Careful, or you'll have Jack convinced you're a walking toy store, too." He stroked a hand up Spencer's chest. "I love that my son adores you," he whispered, brushing his lips against Spencer's jaw.
Spencer laughed and dug another toy out of his pants' pocket, but he tilted his chin to let Aaron's lips go where they wanted to. "He likes me because I'm a party trick. And because he thinks I'm 'silly'."
"Right now, that's probably the highest opinion he can have of anyone," Aaron murmured, nibbling lightly. He laughed faintly. "Haley didn't seem terribly happy that he likes you so much." After a moment he laughed again, resting his head on Spencer's shoulder. "Oh, God, I shouldn't find that so amusing."
Spencer felt a smile bloom across his face. "Yes, you should. She was looking for a fight, Aaron."
"Mmm, maybe she finally realized I'm not going to come grovelling for her to take me back," Aaron said. He kissed Spencer's neck and sighed. "I hate this," he said, the amusement gone from his voice. "I still like my ex-wife. I want to respect her. I want Jack to respect and love her. But this is none of her business."
"It is, to an extent," Spencer said, then sighed and shifted, pulling Aaron into his arms. This was weird, talking about Haley like she had any bearing on them. She didn't, really, but she did, even if it was complicated. He stroked his fingers over Aaron's hair. "This isn't going to be the last time we cross paths, either."
Aaron sighed. "She's the one who decided to be with someone else first," he said. "She can't blame me if I took her example and did the same." He relaxed into Spencer's arms. It always made Spencer feel good when Aaron drew strength or comfort from him, rather than the other way around.
Still, Spencer felt himself frown. "You didn't. You waited until after you were divorced." He knew he had no right to be bitter towards Haley, but he was on Aaron's behalf. He drew a deep breath and tried to drop it though. It wouldn't help.
"I know," Aaron said. "I didn't cheat on her. But I did find someone else." He hummed and kissed Spencer's neck. "Never mind. This isn't important. I love you, Spencer."
"I know," Spencer murmured, sliding a hand down to cradle Aaron's elbow and ducking his head to kiss Aaron soundly.
Aaron hummed into the kiss, one hand creeping up to curl at the back of Spencer's neck. When their lips parted, Aaron smiled. "Maybe it's bedtime for us, too," he suggested. His gaze was warm and grateful.
"But I'm not tired," Spencer said, parroting Jack's words from thirty minutes ago.
Aaron laughed. "Neither am I."
Spencer grinned. "Will you tell me a story?"
"Mmm, your stories are better," Aaron murmured, brushing his lips against Spencer's jaw.
Spencer breathed a laugh and turned his head to kiss Aaron. "You have a sexier voice," he countered, and started to guide them off the couch.
Aaron just slid his arms around Spencer and kissed him again, then let Spencer lead him upstairs. Aaron was unbuttoning Spencer's shirt before they got all the way up the hallway, and once the bedroom door was shut behind them, he made quick work of Spencer's shoes and pants. When he got to the mismatched socks (one pink, one green today), Spencer was surprised to hear him laugh.
"What?" he asked defensively. Aaron had never actually asked him why he didn't match them. He'd never laughed at them, either.
Then Aaron looked up, grinning, and slid a finger inside the top of one sock. A moment later, he was holding another Lego up between them. "Some wizard."
Spencer pursed his lips and tugged lightly at Aaron's hair. "Shut up, or I'll turn you into a toad."
***
Spencer had grown used to waking up in Aaron's arms since they'd been together. It was nice. Safe. Spencer was certain that waking up slowly wrapped up against Aaron's chest was one of the most comforting feelings he'd ever felt.
This morning, however, Spencer jerked away, a crushing blow to his ribs yanking him out of sleep. It was followed by something hitting his head, and Spencer gasped and yanked himself away, flailing so far away from the source of the commotion that he almost fell out of the covers and the bed naked.
Which he was extremely pleased hadn't happened when he realized what it actually was that hit him.
"Spencer, Daddy, it's time to waaaake up!" Jack shouted, and Spencer heard Aaron groan. He looked groggy and grumpy, but not like he'd been nearly given a heart attack.
Spencer pressed the heel of his hand to his thudding, aching chest, and got more securely under the covers again.
"I think it's time for little boys to still be asleep," Aaron said, his voice thick with sleep.
"Wake uuuuup!" Jack shouted again, and Aaron sat up, touching a fingertip to Jack's mouth.
"Inside voice," he reminded Jack, and then wrapped his son in his arms and rolled over, tickling him. When the blanket slipped away, Spencer noted sourly that Aaron had pajama pants on. He must have got up at some point during the night.
Aaron was blocking Jack's view of Spencer, though, which Spencer assumed was intentional, so Spencer slipped out of bed to quietly get his boxers on. He still felt naked, though, in spite of knowing Jack wouldn't care, so he pulled pajama pants and a t-shirt out of "his" drawer and pulled them on too, before slipping back in bed, pleased that Jack was still shrieking with laughter and hadn't seemed to have noticed anything beyond Aaron's tickling.
Spencer rolled onto his side facing them, still a little grumpy, arms crossed over him and rubbing lightly at his sore ribs. He reached out to flick his finger hard at Aaron's back, then re-crossed his arms.
Aaron rolled them over and dumped a squirming Jack on Spencer's chest in retaliation. Jack squealed happily and wrapped his arms around Spencer's neck, giving him a sloppy kiss on the cheek.
"Urgh," Spencer said, not able to help himself, but he supposed it didn't matter, since Jack seemed to think it was funny. "I sincerely hope you have coffee made," he told Jack, and Jack squirmed as he laughed, kneeing Spencer dangerously close to the groin. He winced and rolled Jack onto the bed between him and Aaron. He was too groggy to defend his body at the moment.
Aaron snickered and leaned over to give him a much less sloppy kiss. "I'll do that now. Jacksie, you snuggle up with Spencer and go back to sleep for a while, okay?"
Jack made a happy noise and burrowed under the covers. Aaron ignored the annoyed look Spencer gave him and left the room. Spencer hoped he was going to get breakfast as well as coffee.
Jack wiggled under the blankets for a few more moments, then stilled, and Spencer eyed the lump under the covers dubiously. Maybe he really would go back to sleep. Spencer wasn't sure it made a difference, though, considering he felt a little too beat up to go back to sleep.
"Spennnncerrrrr," Jack said, his voice sing-songy, and then poked Spencer's stomach from under the covers.
Spencer grunted. "Go to sleep."
Jack wiggled up against him and grabbed his side, poking and curling his fingers. Spencer thought he was trying to tickle, but it hurt more than anything, and he finally ducked under the covers and wrapped his arms around Jack to make him stop moving.
Jack giggled.
"Not funny," Spencer told him, but Jack laughed more.
"You're silly," Jack said, then added, "Waaake up!"
The shouting seemed even louder when they were both under the covers. Spencer groaned. "I'm up!" he exclaimed quickly, barely raising his own voice, then said, "Please don't yell."
Jack wiggled up closer to Spencer's face, blinking at him. "Daddy says 'inside voice'," he told Spencer solemnly. Then he smiled and shouted, "INSIDE VOICE!"
Spencer flinched back, then covered Jack's mouth with his hand. "Then use your inside voice," he said reasonably.
Jack licked his palm, then giggled when Spencer pulled it away with a disgusted, "Yeurgh." That only inspired an even bigger fit of giggles, and Jack rolling around in bed as he laughed.
God.
"Okay, that's it. I'm getting up and going downstairs for coffee," he grouched, and started to roll out of bed.
"No!" Jack said, going still. Then he rolled over to look at Spencer, his voice going up into a little whimpery tone. "No, no, Spencer!" He grabbed at Spencer's arm and looked at him with his lower lip pudged out unhappily.
Spencer pressed his own lips together and frowned at Jack. "I'm not going to stay if you keep kicking and rolling around," he said.
"No, no," Jack said. "I'll go back to sleep." He gave Spencer an earnest look.
Spencer watched him for a moment. "You won't shout at me either?"
Jack nodded, and after hesitating a moment, Spencer climbed back into bed.
The stillness lasted for about five seconds, however, and Jack started twisting his fingers in Spencer's shirt, playing with it. Spencer sighed. "Jack--"
Jack looked up at him. "But you're doing it wrong!" he said, pouting suddenly.
Spencer frowned.
"Daddy always holds me reeeaally tight when I go back to sleep in his bed," Jack continued, looking up at Spencer, with wide, innocent eyes.
With a sigh, Spencer wrapped his arms around Jack and pulled him close. He was encouraged by the way Jack squeaked and snuggled up under his chin, though he did get a small knee pushed into his stomach momentarily. Jack did settle down, though, and the room got quiet enough that Spencer could hear the little boy's breathing.
He could hear Aaron moving around in the kitchen, and smiled faintly. Aaron was making breakfast. He'd be a while, but at least Jack was quiet now. Actually... he might have really gone back to sleep, because the rise and fall of his little chest was slowing. Spencer didn't move for a long time, then he finally realized that his entire body was tense. Whether it was from Jack irritating him, or because he wasn't sure he was supposed to be holding Jack, he didn't know.
He forced his body to relax, though, settling more into the mattress. Jack shifted closer, but didn't say anything, and Spencer found his eyes drooping after a few more moments of silence.
He woke some time later to the feel of Aaron's hand brushing his hair away from his face. Aaron was smiling at him, his dark eyes looking suspiciously shiny. "I didn't want to wake you," Aaron said softly, "but breakfast is ready."
"Mmn," Spencer hummed, and shifted a little. He still felt weird about this, but Aaron seemed so happy, so Spencer gave him a sleepy, if slightly unsure, smile.
"Daddy, you're a better cuddler than Spencer," Jack said after a moment, his words sleepy.
Aaron chuckled. "Spencer just needs practice," he said, and leaned over to lift Jack out of the bed. He kissed his son's hair and smoothed it down. "You didn't kick, did you?"
"No." Jack was starting to sound more awake.
Aaron glanced at Spencer, who pursed his lips but didn't answer. Apparently that was answer enough for Aaron, who shook his head. "Come on, our pancakes and sausage are getting cold."
"Sausage, sausage, sausage!" Jack sang as Aaron carried him out.
Spencer snorted, but followed after them, raking his fingers through his hair and padding down the hall and into the kitchen. He needed a pot of coffee after all of that, and crossed the kitchen to bring the whole thing to the table. Aaron rolled his eyes, but didn't say anything, and started to pour syrup on Jack's pancakes.
By the time Haley showed up to pick Jack up, Spencer was more than ready for a little time away from him. He couldn't imagine how people were full-time parents; one weekend with Jack and Spencer was happy to give him back. Jack had been running full-speed most of the day, aside from an all-too-brief nap early in the afternoon.
Aaron had scheduled a bath for the last item of the day, and Jack was actually calm and adorable-looking in his footed pajamas. He'd held Spencer to the promise of reading him a story, so when the doorbell rang, Jack was curled up in Spencer's lap, his eyes closed. Spencer didn't want to wake him, though, so he decided not to move. Aaron could be the one to wake him up, if it was necessary.
"...ought to just carry him out like this," Aaron was saying as he and Haley came back to the family room. "He's almost asleep."
Haley looked like she was about to disagree when Spencer saw her face. Then she saw him. Her eyes widened for a moment and a strange expression crossed her face. After a moment, though, she said quietly, "You've got him asleep already? Thank God for that."
Spencer opened his mouth, but then closed it, not really sure what to say. He looked back at Aaron, who was watching Haley.
"Like I said, just let Spencer take him to the car."
"Aaron--" Spencer whispered, but then Haley frowned at him. He wasn't sure if it was because she'd probably never heard Spencer use Aaron's first name before, or if it was because she thought he would wake Jack.
She turned back to Aaron and nodded. "All right." She glanced at Spencer. "Thank you."
Spencer had no idea how to put a child in a car seat. He also had no desire to learn, but he had a feeling he was going to. He watched as Aaron gathered Jack's overnight bag, then came over to extend a hand to him. Haley frowned when Spencer took it and let Aaron pull him to his feet, but Spencer tried to ignore her.
Barefoot, he padded outside to her waiting car, where she went ahead of him and opened the door. Fortunately, she also arranged the straps and buckles of the car seat, then gestured for him to set Jack down.
As Spencer was leaning over, Jack stirred in his arms and then said his name in a tiny voice.
"Hey," Spencer whispered. "Go back to sleep."
"W'you cuddle me?" Jack said, but Spencer could tell he wasn't really awake. "Need practice."
Spencer huffed a little laugh, not really able to stop himself--Jack was cute when he was out of it--and then carefully got himself out of the backseat. "I don't... I don't know how to do the things," he told Haley awkwardly, gesturing to indicate he was talking about the straps, then moved away from her to stand by Aaron, behind his shoulder. He wondered if he ought to go back inside and leave them.
Aaron turned to smile at him, his expression warm, and slid an arm around Spencer's shoulders. "I'll see you in two weeks," he told Haley. "Drive safely."
She gave him an unhappy look, but nodded. "Bye. Bye, Spencer," she added, like an afterthought. She didn't wait for him to answer, but got in the car. Aaron guided Spencer back inside.
"That was a little better than Friday night," Aaron murmured.
"That was a lot better than Friday," Spencer said, slipping an arm around Aaron as they walked inside.
"A lot better," Aaron agreed. He shut the door behind them and kissed Spencer. "I think we should be relaxing in front of the TV with a movie and something alcoholic, what do you think?"
Spencer smiled at him, melting against him. "I like that. It sounds very adult."
"Oh, were you thinking naughty movies?" Aaron teased, and kissed him again. "I'll pick the movie and you can pick the wine."
"You just don't want to watch 2001: A Space Odyssey again," Spencer said, directing a teasing pout at Aaron, then pulling him in for another kiss. "I love you," he whispered.
"It put me to sleep the first time," Aaron replied, grinning. "I love you, too."
"Aaron, it's one of the greatest films ever made!" Spencer argued, and grinned because they'd had this argument after Spencer woke Aaron in a huff after they'd watched it the first time. He hadn't won then and doubted he would now.
"It's also two and a half hours long, and boring," Aaron retorted.
"It's inspired."
"To a genius, maybe." Aaron was grinning.
Spencer sighed dramatically. "White or red?"
Aaron leaned in for another brief kiss. "I don't care, as long as you're in my arms while we drink it."
The next installment in the series: One Who Kisses and One Who Offers the Cheek
Authors:
innerslytherin and severity_softlyPairing/characters: Hotch/Reid, Jack Hotchner, and Haley Hotchner
Rating: PG-13 (if that)
Summary: Aaron and Spencer's weekend with Jack doesn't start out very well...but thanks to a little magic, Jack doesn't seem to notice.
Word count: ~7,000
Notes: Self-beta'd, so feel free to point out any errors.
This is part of the "Fathers Are Not Born" universe, all of which can be found at this tag. This is part THREE, though each installment may also be read as a stand alone fic. :)
Aaron Hotchner wasn't the sort of man who enjoyed personal confrontations. He didn't back away from them, but he certainly didn't seek them out, which was why he'd ignored Haley's passive-aggressive behavior regarding his job for over a year. He'd actually been relieved when she finally issued him an ultimatum--don't go to Milwaukee--because he'd been able to confront that directly.
And he still believed, a year and a half later, that he'd made the right choice. Even when he got home a little late from work, because he'd stopped at the grocery store to pick up Jack's favorite cereal, and found Haley there ahead of him and glaring at Spencer in the living room. It was possible her expression had something to do with the fact that Jack had his arms wrapped around one of Spencer's legs.
"Sorry I'm late," Aaron offered, wondering what had been said before he got here. "I needed to stop at the grocery for a few things." He held up the two bags as if he needed to prove his story.
Haley kept staring at Spencer and Jack for a long moment, then she turned a furious gaze on Aaron. Her face was white. His heart sank.
"What's going on?" Aaron asked.
He thought he saw Spencer open his mouth, from the corner of his eye, but Haley beat him to an answer.
"Jack says Spencer is your boyfriend," she said in a low voice.
Spencer reached down to touch the top of Jack's head when Jack squeezed the leg into a death grip, but then looked at Aaron. "Ah, should I go?"
"No!" Jack said, looking up at Spencer and giving him a look that clearly threatened tears if Spencer disobeyed Jack. Spencer was getting more comfortable around Jack, but he still wasn't all that great at being assertive with Jack, so Aaron doubted that Spencer would disobey.
"No, but you can take Jack to his room to play, if you want," Aaron said, because Jack really didn't need to see him and Haley fight... which it seemed like Haley was intent on doing.
Spencer nodded and tried to take a step with Jack still attached. Jack giggled and then tugged at Spencer's shirt. Spencer obediently scooped him up and carried him out of the room. Aaron couldn't help watching him, a smile tugging at his lips even as he tried to school his expression. Finally he turned to face Haley.
"Spencer Reid is your boyfriend?" Haley demanded, glaring at him. "You told our son that you kiss another man? For that matter, what the hell are you doing with another man? My God, Aaron, are you trying to embarrass me?"
Aaron felt his eyebrows drawing together. "What I'm trying to do, Haley, is build a little bit of happiness out of what you left of my life. You aren't a part of that any more. You walked away. I hardly see how my decisions now have any bearing whatsoever on your life."
"They have bearing on my life when my son is walking around telling people that his father is gay!" Haley snapped.
"Is he really telling people that, Haley? Because it's been several months since we told him about us, and you seem awfully surprised for him to have been spouting off about it to everyone," Aaron said. Actually, Aaron had been surprised not to have gotten an angry phone call sooner, but when he didn't, he wasn't about to bring it up himself. His love life wasn't any of her business any more, and while he wasn't going to hide his relationship with Spencer from her, he didn't think he owed her any warning or explanation either.
"I'm not surprised, Aaron. I'm angry," she said. "He mentioned it months ago, but I thought he was making up stories. Then today I bring him by, and Reid is here when you're not, and Jack is trying to crawl into his arms!"
"And?" Aaron asked, and started into the kitchen with the bags of groceries. "I still don't see why this is a problem."
She followed him. "Because you were married to me! All those years, Aaron! What the hell is going on?" she said.
"Again, I'm not sure I see that it's any of your business," Aaron said, fighting to keep his voice even as he started unpacking the groceries. "I have every right to happiness, even if it isn't with you. Spencer does the same job I do. He understands how important it is to me. He understands who I am, Haley."
He caught himself at the exact moment she recoiled. Before he could utter an apology, though, she was snapping back at him. "Oh, of course, I was the one in the wrong because I thought that you should be a husband and father instead of trying to be Superman!"
"I may not have been around as much as either of us would have liked, but when I was here, you had me a hundred percent," he retorted, despite telling himself it would do no good to have this argument. He drew in a sharp breath and pinched the bridge of his nose for a moment, then shook his head. "I'm not going to do this, Haley. I loved you for over half my life. I still care about you and I want you to be happy. But my happiness is no longer tied to yours. What I do with my life, and whom I choose to spend it with, is not your business any longer."
"The things that you do that affect our child are my business, Aaron," Haley growled. "But as usual, you're being selfish. You only care about what you want."
"How does this affect Jack?" Aaron retorted, glaring at her. "Aside from giving him another positive male role model, which is hardly something I should think you can complain about. At least I'm not sneaking around and trying to hide my relationship with Spencer! Do you think that would somehow be healthier for Jack?" He shut one of the cabinet doors, just managing to refrain from slamming it.
Haley was staring at him, her gaze resentful. "Will it be healthy for Jack to get teased at school when he says his daddy is dating a man? Is it healthy for him to think maybe you never loved me because now you're--" She let out a frustrated gust of air and dragged her fingers through her hair.
Aaron narrowed his eyes. "Don't you dare make that sort of implication," he said, lowering his voice. "I loved you with every inch of me, Haley. Just because I was never good enough, never the man you really wanted, doesn't mean I didn't try. And what matters to Jack is that we both love him. Neither of us were happy together--do you think having his parents together but miserable would have been better?"
He clenched his jaw and walked out to the family room, realizing that his voice had been rising with every word. God, this was just like the last days before the divorce, when he'd been desperately trying to save the marriage that Haley just didn't want any more. Except now he was being attacked for moving on, where before she'd attacked him for holding on.
Haley had followed him out. "Aaron, you were never home!" she said, her voice going shrill. "You were always off with your team! And now suddenly you're sleeping with one of them? With a man! What am I supposed to think? How many times was I left here alone, coping by myself with a fussy baby and a lawn that needed mowing and all the damn jobs of a household by myself, while you were off somewhere with Spencer Reid?!"
Aaron spun on his heel and took a step closer. "Don't you dare accuse me of infidelity, Haley!" he shouted.
"Whether you were sleeping with him or not, whether or not you even knew you wanted him then, you are and were every bit as guilty of emotional infidelity as I was," Haley hissed. "You were always with them. And him," she added, her own voice rising steadily. "And this thing with him, Aaron, it throws everything we had into question! Jack's four! And--"
There was a sound from upstairs that made them both jump and fall silent, but a second later the sound became clear. Spencer had turned on some sing-along tape or another in Jack's room. When Aaron looked back at Haley, she was clutching her chest, and Aaron let out a gusty breath and looked away.
The music was too loud. Far louder than Spencer would have normally turned it, and it didn't take long for Aaron to figure out why.
"Aaron," Haley said, and he looked back, his gaze still angry. "Aaron, I don't understand this."
He stared at her. She didn't have to understand it.
Eventually, she let out a bitter laugh and looked back up the stairs. "Jesus, is he trying to deafen Jack?"
"No, he's trying to keep him from hearing us fight."
Her gaze jerked back to his, her lips parting in surprise.
Aaron shook his head, his chest aching. "Just...just go, Haley," he said quietly. "Please."
She stared at him, but he wasn't about to explain Spencer Reid to his ex-wife, and there was nothing else to say without doing just that. He'd gotten the message, and he wasn't going to argue any more.
"For the record, I am not pleased about this, Aaron," she said. Her tone was cold, but she wasn't shouting any more.
"If you want to discuss something about our son, we can do so," he said evenly. "In private, while he's staying with his grandparents or a baby-sitter. I won't do this where he can hear." He caught himself before apologizing to her, because he wasn't sorry at all for what he'd said. He was only sorry he'd said it so loudly Jack and Spencer could hear.
She made a quiet noise, either of frustration or hurt, but she just turned and let herself out of the house without speaking. Aaron walked to the door more slowly and locked it behind her, then slumped against it for a long minute, rubbing his hands over his face and fighting the sudden, horrible urge to cry.
He didn't cry, of course. He'd learned not to cry when he was Jack's age. He'd shed no tears over his shattered marriage. He'd barely shed tears over his Dad's casket, despite the anguish locked up inside. He knew, all too well, what it was like growing up in a house full of anger and resentment and violence, and he would shoot himself before he did that to Jack. But he and Haley had thought nothing of airing old, stupid grievances at the top of their lungs while both their son and Aaron's lover were in the house.
Finally Aaron swallowed hard and shoved himself away from the door. He headed upstairs, his feet feeling like they were made of lead.
When he reached the top of the stairs, he could finally hear Jack yelling over the music in something akin to singing, interspersed with giggling. He felt his shoulders relax a little, and a little surge of gratitude for Spencer shot through him, pushing through the regret. He nearly hesitated interrupting them, but then went to the door. He pushed it open, knowing neither of them would hear him knock over the music.
Jack was wearing a cowboy hat that was two sizes too big and a little gun holster, complete with a plastic six-shot Remington, that Dave had given him for Christmas. Aaron couldn't stop himself from smiling. Dave had told him if he was going to grow up to be Clint Eastwood like his pop, he needed to start practicing now. Jack hadn't understood, but he'd giggled, and the little costume had gotten a lot of use since then.
Aaron leaned against the doorjamb, watching Jack bouncing around Spencer. He felt like his chest was swelling. His family might not be what most people thought of as a 'normal' one, but God, it was wonderful. As he watched them, Spencer noticed him and lifted his head to meet Aaron's gaze.
"Hey," he murmured (which Aaron saw more than heard), and Jack followed his gaze.
"Daddy! Spencer does magic!" he said, registering just above the music, his eyes wide. And as thankful as Aaron was for Spencer distracting Jack, he knew Spencer was going to regret ever showing Jack a magic trick. Toddlers were relentless.
"He does?" Aaron said, crossing the room to shut off the music before crouching down and widening his eyes. "Spencer, will you show me?" In Aaron's opinion, Spencer had already done magic simply by keeping Jack from hearing the fight. Aaron hoped his gaze conveyed his gratitude properly for the moment.
"Show him! Show him!" Jack demanded.
Spencer smiled, holding Aaron's gaze for a moment, and then he looked back at Jack. "One of the ones I just did or a new one?"
"A new one!" Jack said, beaming.
"Ah, okay," Spencer said, and looked around him. After a minute, he crawled across the room and dug through a box of Legos. When he came back, he shoved at Aaron's thigh, sending him falling out of the crouching position and onto his ass. Jack laughed riotously, and Aaron gave Spencer a playful glare, but Spencer just held out a Lego to Jack. "This one has a chip in it, see?"
Jack got very close and looked at it, then looked back up at Spencer and nodded.
"Remember what it looked like," Spencer said, and with a little wave of his hands, the Lego "vanished". Jack's mouth dropped open when Spencer showed him.
Aaron gasped dramatically and made a show of looking at the floor around them. "Where'd it go?"
"It's magic, Daddy!" Jack exclaimed.
Spencer grinned. "Check your pockets," he told Aaron. When Aaron obeyed, he found the Lego in his right pants pocket. He held it out on his palm and stared at Spencer, wondering how he'd managed the trick.
Spencer just shrugged at him, and looked back at Jack. "Is that the same one?" he asked, and Jack leaped over to Aaron and snatched the Lego, inspecting it closely.
"It's-- yes!" Jack beamed up at his father, then leaned up and whispered, "Spencer's a wizard. Di'you know you kissed a wizard?"
Aaron was startled into a laugh. "I didn't know that," he confessed, crossing his legs and leaning forward. "He's very good at magic, isn't he? Did you thank him for showing you the trick?"
"Thank you!" Jack shouted, jumping at Spencer and hugging him around the neck, his cowboy hat falling off.
"Urgh," Spencer said, looking startled, and then patted Jack on the back awkwardly. It was funny that the simple affection seemed to be getting easy for Spencer, casual touches and such, but blatant gestures still seemed to throw him a bit. "You're wel--"
"ANOTHER ONE!"
Spencer winced and darted a 'save me' look at Aaron over Jack's shoulder.
"I think it might be time for supper," Aaron said, smiling. "Are there any hungry cowboys or wizards in this room?"
"ME!" Jack shouted, and Spencer winced again.
Aaron bit his lips together to keep from laughing, then said, "Indoor voice, Cowboy Jack."
"Me," Jack insisted, his voice moderately quieter.
Aaron nodded. "What do hungry cowboys eat for supper?" he wondered, glancing at Spencer.
"Macaronis and smashed potatoes!" Jack let go of Spencer and bounced excitedly. "And cupcakes!"
Aaron grinned. "Spencer's going to have to make cupcakes appear from thin air, then, because we don't have those." When Jack gave Spencer an expectant look, Aaron regretted saying it.
"I, ah, I can't do food," Spencer said, and then glared at Aaron when Jack whined. "Magic food tastes yucky. The, ah, space/time continuum gets it... dirty," Spencer explained. Jack still looked disappointed, but now he also looked confused.
Aaron laughed and scooped Jack up in his arms, Jack flailing to retrieve his fallen hat at the last second. "Magic food makes you more hungry instead of filling you up," Aaron said, and Jack's expression cleared. "Come on, let's see about the macaroni and mashed potatoes."
"And basghetti?" Jack added.
Aaron grinned. "Maybe spaghetti tomorrow," he said. "Maybe. Come on downstairs." He offered Spencer a hand up.
Spencer took it and let Aaron pull him up, and Aaron pulled him in for a tiny kiss. Jack made a funny, happy squeak at it, but otherwise didn't say anything.
"Can Spencer leber-- lebi-- float me downstairs?" he asked.
"Mmm, I think you have to be at least ten before you can be levitated. It's very complicated." Aaron shot Spencer a look that he thought clearly indicated that Spencer was going to be sorry, if he wasn't already, that he'd started doing magic.
Jack's face scrunched up, then he turned to Spencer. "Make me grow up faster."
"Ah..." Spencer said. Aaron gave him a moment, but when Spencer didn't say anything else, Aaron rescued him again.
"You'd miss all your friends at school if you weren't the same age as they were anymore," he pointed out.
"Spencer could make all of them big too!" Jack said.
"Oh, I don't know. That might be too much work for one wizard," Aaron said.
"Then just me 'n' Sarah," Jack insisted.
Aaron raised an eyebrow, a little surprised, but knowing he could shift the conversation away from Spencer and his wizardry here, at least. "And who's Sarah?"
"She's my girlfriend!" Jack explained, as Aaron settled him at the table.
Aaron couldn't help but laugh. "Oh? Well, just tell me before you run off and get married, okay?"
"Mm-hmm," Jack agreed, grabbing the salt and pepper shakers off the table and playing with them, spilling their contents all over the table top as he danced them around. "She has blue eyyyyees, and blue haaiir, and blue teeeeth... and blue fiiiingerrrrs," he said. "And she gave me a cookie on Friday!"
"She sounds nice. And very beautiful," Aaron said, knowing he was grinning stupidly.
Spencer fell in behind him, working on the mashed potatoes as Aaron made macaroni. "Ah... what planet is she from?" he asked seriously.
Jack giggled loudly. "Earf, silly!"
The meal was predictably messy, with the usual struggle to get Jack to eat instead of chatter like a magpie. At least Jack was past the food-throwing stage, or Aaron was certain Spencer would have ducked out to the den with his plate. After dinner, Jack wanted to play in the backyard, which was more than fine with Aaron. They put on jackets and went out, Aaron pulling Spencer against him as they stood on the deck and watched Jack running his toy cars along the railings.
"I'm sorry," Aaron said after the silence had stretched for a couple minutes.
Spencer sucked in a breath, as though he hadn't expected those words, and then turned to look at Aaron. "For what?" he murmured. "Was my fault about the magic tricks."
"You know what I'm talking about," Aaron said, tightening his arm around Spencer's shoulders. "For earlier. I shouldn't have argued with Haley while the two of you could hear. I'm sorry."
Spencer's lips thinned and he nodded. "It happens," he said, and shrugged. "It's fine."
"No, it's not," Aaron said. "You don't deserve to be subjected to that. It won't happen again." He didn't take his gaze from where Jack was now driving his cars along the edges of the steps in a high-speed chase.
"Aaron..." Spencer paused for a long time, then leaned over and kissed Aaron's cheek while Jack was totally engrossed in what he was doing. "You don't owe me anything. Not an apology or an explanation. I just..." He dropped his gaze, his hair falling across his eyes. "I just didn't think he needed to hear it." There was a touch of vulnerability in Spencer's voice that made Aaron's chest ache all over again.
He pressed a kiss against Spencer's forehead. "You were right," he murmured. After a moment he smiled faintly. "This is why I think you sell yourself short as father material." He brushed Spencer's hair out of his face.
"It's only because I can relate," Spencer admitted quietly, his lips curving into a rueful smile, and he leaned against Aaron a little more.
Aaron nodded and stroked the backs of his knuckles against Spencer's cheek. "I'm sorry," he murmured. "I don't want that in our home." He was still looking at Spencer when something crashed rather painfully into his foot. He yelped and looked down to find a dump truck resting on his toes and Jack grinning up at him.
"Daddy, you're in the road! You have to move!"
Aaron breathed a laugh and stepped back. "I'm sorry. I should pay more attention."
"Yes, you should," Jack told him. "Move, Spencer!" He was starting to get a little whiny, which meant he'd be ready for bed soon enough.
Spencer actually jumped when Jack rammed his foot too. He got out of the way quickly, and Jack continued across the deck. Once he got out of earshot, Spencer looked back at Aaron. "I told you that you didn't owe me an apology."
"I know that," Aaron said. "But it's important to me." He knew all too well what it was like to be anxious about repeating patterns in your own family. "I've always sworn I would be nothing like my biological father," he murmured. "And I've always relied on my partner to call me on it if I misstep." He glanced at Spencer. "So I do understand how you feel."
Spencer looked at him for a moment, and then nodded. "Okay. But it wasn't... never mind." He kissed Aaron quickly.
Aaron smiled at the kiss, but didn't look away from Spencer. "It wasn't what?" he prompted, though he would let it go if Spencer really didn't want to talk about it. He knew Spencer worried about his role in Jack's life, but Aaron thought he did a good job.
Spencer glanced at Jack, then back at Aaron and shook his head, and Aaron thought maybe Spencer thought this was another conversation Jack didn't need to hear. "Nothing," he murmured. "It's fine."
***
Getting Jack to bed was usually less of a struggle simply because he wore himself out. But this time he'd fussed and pouted and said he wanted Spencer to read him a story after Aaron had already read him one. Aaron had promised Spencer might read one tomorrow night, and even though Spencer had been perfectly willing to read one then, he'd refrained from offering because of the stern expression on Aaron's face.
Finally, after one last drink of water, Aaron had come downstairs to collapse on the couch next to him with a sigh.
Spencer immediately curled up next to him and kissed his neck. "Okay?"
"Exhausted," Aaron said, but he wrapped his arms around Spencer and smiled. "I know you were willing to read to him, but you understand why I didn't want you to, right?"
"Mmm," Spencer hummed, and snuggled against Aaron. "I think so."
"And?" Aaron prompted, which made Spencer laugh. He sounded like he was in lecture mode.
"Because you want him to understand that when you say something, you mean it," Spencer said obediently, and bit Aaron's jaw lightly. "I'm not in Parenting 101, Aaron."
Aaron laughed and kissed him. "Sorry."
"Mmm," Spencer hummed, then laughed too, and then something poked his wrist when he pulled Aaron closer.
Oh.
He laughed a little more and pulled back. "Ah..." He flicked his wrist and was suddenly holding the Lego that he'd shown Jack back in the bedroom up for Aaron to see. "I was starting to run out of places to hide things," he informed Aaron, pulling a bouncy ball out after the Lego, and then going for a toy soldier down the front of his shirt. "I sort of forgot they were all still there."
Aaron laughed. "Careful, or you'll have Jack convinced you're a walking toy store, too." He stroked a hand up Spencer's chest. "I love that my son adores you," he whispered, brushing his lips against Spencer's jaw.
Spencer laughed and dug another toy out of his pants' pocket, but he tilted his chin to let Aaron's lips go where they wanted to. "He likes me because I'm a party trick. And because he thinks I'm 'silly'."
"Right now, that's probably the highest opinion he can have of anyone," Aaron murmured, nibbling lightly. He laughed faintly. "Haley didn't seem terribly happy that he likes you so much." After a moment he laughed again, resting his head on Spencer's shoulder. "Oh, God, I shouldn't find that so amusing."
Spencer felt a smile bloom across his face. "Yes, you should. She was looking for a fight, Aaron."
"Mmm, maybe she finally realized I'm not going to come grovelling for her to take me back," Aaron said. He kissed Spencer's neck and sighed. "I hate this," he said, the amusement gone from his voice. "I still like my ex-wife. I want to respect her. I want Jack to respect and love her. But this is none of her business."
"It is, to an extent," Spencer said, then sighed and shifted, pulling Aaron into his arms. This was weird, talking about Haley like she had any bearing on them. She didn't, really, but she did, even if it was complicated. He stroked his fingers over Aaron's hair. "This isn't going to be the last time we cross paths, either."
Aaron sighed. "She's the one who decided to be with someone else first," he said. "She can't blame me if I took her example and did the same." He relaxed into Spencer's arms. It always made Spencer feel good when Aaron drew strength or comfort from him, rather than the other way around.
Still, Spencer felt himself frown. "You didn't. You waited until after you were divorced." He knew he had no right to be bitter towards Haley, but he was on Aaron's behalf. He drew a deep breath and tried to drop it though. It wouldn't help.
"I know," Aaron said. "I didn't cheat on her. But I did find someone else." He hummed and kissed Spencer's neck. "Never mind. This isn't important. I love you, Spencer."
"I know," Spencer murmured, sliding a hand down to cradle Aaron's elbow and ducking his head to kiss Aaron soundly.
Aaron hummed into the kiss, one hand creeping up to curl at the back of Spencer's neck. When their lips parted, Aaron smiled. "Maybe it's bedtime for us, too," he suggested. His gaze was warm and grateful.
"But I'm not tired," Spencer said, parroting Jack's words from thirty minutes ago.
Aaron laughed. "Neither am I."
Spencer grinned. "Will you tell me a story?"
"Mmm, your stories are better," Aaron murmured, brushing his lips against Spencer's jaw.
Spencer breathed a laugh and turned his head to kiss Aaron. "You have a sexier voice," he countered, and started to guide them off the couch.
Aaron just slid his arms around Spencer and kissed him again, then let Spencer lead him upstairs. Aaron was unbuttoning Spencer's shirt before they got all the way up the hallway, and once the bedroom door was shut behind them, he made quick work of Spencer's shoes and pants. When he got to the mismatched socks (one pink, one green today), Spencer was surprised to hear him laugh.
"What?" he asked defensively. Aaron had never actually asked him why he didn't match them. He'd never laughed at them, either.
Then Aaron looked up, grinning, and slid a finger inside the top of one sock. A moment later, he was holding another Lego up between them. "Some wizard."
Spencer pursed his lips and tugged lightly at Aaron's hair. "Shut up, or I'll turn you into a toad."
***
Spencer had grown used to waking up in Aaron's arms since they'd been together. It was nice. Safe. Spencer was certain that waking up slowly wrapped up against Aaron's chest was one of the most comforting feelings he'd ever felt.
This morning, however, Spencer jerked away, a crushing blow to his ribs yanking him out of sleep. It was followed by something hitting his head, and Spencer gasped and yanked himself away, flailing so far away from the source of the commotion that he almost fell out of the covers and the bed naked.
Which he was extremely pleased hadn't happened when he realized what it actually was that hit him.
"Spencer, Daddy, it's time to waaaake up!" Jack shouted, and Spencer heard Aaron groan. He looked groggy and grumpy, but not like he'd been nearly given a heart attack.
Spencer pressed the heel of his hand to his thudding, aching chest, and got more securely under the covers again.
"I think it's time for little boys to still be asleep," Aaron said, his voice thick with sleep.
"Wake uuuuup!" Jack shouted again, and Aaron sat up, touching a fingertip to Jack's mouth.
"Inside voice," he reminded Jack, and then wrapped his son in his arms and rolled over, tickling him. When the blanket slipped away, Spencer noted sourly that Aaron had pajama pants on. He must have got up at some point during the night.
Aaron was blocking Jack's view of Spencer, though, which Spencer assumed was intentional, so Spencer slipped out of bed to quietly get his boxers on. He still felt naked, though, in spite of knowing Jack wouldn't care, so he pulled pajama pants and a t-shirt out of "his" drawer and pulled them on too, before slipping back in bed, pleased that Jack was still shrieking with laughter and hadn't seemed to have noticed anything beyond Aaron's tickling.
Spencer rolled onto his side facing them, still a little grumpy, arms crossed over him and rubbing lightly at his sore ribs. He reached out to flick his finger hard at Aaron's back, then re-crossed his arms.
Aaron rolled them over and dumped a squirming Jack on Spencer's chest in retaliation. Jack squealed happily and wrapped his arms around Spencer's neck, giving him a sloppy kiss on the cheek.
"Urgh," Spencer said, not able to help himself, but he supposed it didn't matter, since Jack seemed to think it was funny. "I sincerely hope you have coffee made," he told Jack, and Jack squirmed as he laughed, kneeing Spencer dangerously close to the groin. He winced and rolled Jack onto the bed between him and Aaron. He was too groggy to defend his body at the moment.
Aaron snickered and leaned over to give him a much less sloppy kiss. "I'll do that now. Jacksie, you snuggle up with Spencer and go back to sleep for a while, okay?"
Jack made a happy noise and burrowed under the covers. Aaron ignored the annoyed look Spencer gave him and left the room. Spencer hoped he was going to get breakfast as well as coffee.
Jack wiggled under the blankets for a few more moments, then stilled, and Spencer eyed the lump under the covers dubiously. Maybe he really would go back to sleep. Spencer wasn't sure it made a difference, though, considering he felt a little too beat up to go back to sleep.
"Spennnncerrrrr," Jack said, his voice sing-songy, and then poked Spencer's stomach from under the covers.
Spencer grunted. "Go to sleep."
Jack wiggled up against him and grabbed his side, poking and curling his fingers. Spencer thought he was trying to tickle, but it hurt more than anything, and he finally ducked under the covers and wrapped his arms around Jack to make him stop moving.
Jack giggled.
"Not funny," Spencer told him, but Jack laughed more.
"You're silly," Jack said, then added, "Waaake up!"
The shouting seemed even louder when they were both under the covers. Spencer groaned. "I'm up!" he exclaimed quickly, barely raising his own voice, then said, "Please don't yell."
Jack wiggled up closer to Spencer's face, blinking at him. "Daddy says 'inside voice'," he told Spencer solemnly. Then he smiled and shouted, "INSIDE VOICE!"
Spencer flinched back, then covered Jack's mouth with his hand. "Then use your inside voice," he said reasonably.
Jack licked his palm, then giggled when Spencer pulled it away with a disgusted, "Yeurgh." That only inspired an even bigger fit of giggles, and Jack rolling around in bed as he laughed.
God.
"Okay, that's it. I'm getting up and going downstairs for coffee," he grouched, and started to roll out of bed.
"No!" Jack said, going still. Then he rolled over to look at Spencer, his voice going up into a little whimpery tone. "No, no, Spencer!" He grabbed at Spencer's arm and looked at him with his lower lip pudged out unhappily.
Spencer pressed his own lips together and frowned at Jack. "I'm not going to stay if you keep kicking and rolling around," he said.
"No, no," Jack said. "I'll go back to sleep." He gave Spencer an earnest look.
Spencer watched him for a moment. "You won't shout at me either?"
Jack nodded, and after hesitating a moment, Spencer climbed back into bed.
The stillness lasted for about five seconds, however, and Jack started twisting his fingers in Spencer's shirt, playing with it. Spencer sighed. "Jack--"
Jack looked up at him. "But you're doing it wrong!" he said, pouting suddenly.
Spencer frowned.
"Daddy always holds me reeeaally tight when I go back to sleep in his bed," Jack continued, looking up at Spencer, with wide, innocent eyes.
With a sigh, Spencer wrapped his arms around Jack and pulled him close. He was encouraged by the way Jack squeaked and snuggled up under his chin, though he did get a small knee pushed into his stomach momentarily. Jack did settle down, though, and the room got quiet enough that Spencer could hear the little boy's breathing.
He could hear Aaron moving around in the kitchen, and smiled faintly. Aaron was making breakfast. He'd be a while, but at least Jack was quiet now. Actually... he might have really gone back to sleep, because the rise and fall of his little chest was slowing. Spencer didn't move for a long time, then he finally realized that his entire body was tense. Whether it was from Jack irritating him, or because he wasn't sure he was supposed to be holding Jack, he didn't know.
He forced his body to relax, though, settling more into the mattress. Jack shifted closer, but didn't say anything, and Spencer found his eyes drooping after a few more moments of silence.
He woke some time later to the feel of Aaron's hand brushing his hair away from his face. Aaron was smiling at him, his dark eyes looking suspiciously shiny. "I didn't want to wake you," Aaron said softly, "but breakfast is ready."
"Mmn," Spencer hummed, and shifted a little. He still felt weird about this, but Aaron seemed so happy, so Spencer gave him a sleepy, if slightly unsure, smile.
"Daddy, you're a better cuddler than Spencer," Jack said after a moment, his words sleepy.
Aaron chuckled. "Spencer just needs practice," he said, and leaned over to lift Jack out of the bed. He kissed his son's hair and smoothed it down. "You didn't kick, did you?"
"No." Jack was starting to sound more awake.
Aaron glanced at Spencer, who pursed his lips but didn't answer. Apparently that was answer enough for Aaron, who shook his head. "Come on, our pancakes and sausage are getting cold."
"Sausage, sausage, sausage!" Jack sang as Aaron carried him out.
Spencer snorted, but followed after them, raking his fingers through his hair and padding down the hall and into the kitchen. He needed a pot of coffee after all of that, and crossed the kitchen to bring the whole thing to the table. Aaron rolled his eyes, but didn't say anything, and started to pour syrup on Jack's pancakes.
By the time Haley showed up to pick Jack up, Spencer was more than ready for a little time away from him. He couldn't imagine how people were full-time parents; one weekend with Jack and Spencer was happy to give him back. Jack had been running full-speed most of the day, aside from an all-too-brief nap early in the afternoon.
Aaron had scheduled a bath for the last item of the day, and Jack was actually calm and adorable-looking in his footed pajamas. He'd held Spencer to the promise of reading him a story, so when the doorbell rang, Jack was curled up in Spencer's lap, his eyes closed. Spencer didn't want to wake him, though, so he decided not to move. Aaron could be the one to wake him up, if it was necessary.
"...ought to just carry him out like this," Aaron was saying as he and Haley came back to the family room. "He's almost asleep."
Haley looked like she was about to disagree when Spencer saw her face. Then she saw him. Her eyes widened for a moment and a strange expression crossed her face. After a moment, though, she said quietly, "You've got him asleep already? Thank God for that."
Spencer opened his mouth, but then closed it, not really sure what to say. He looked back at Aaron, who was watching Haley.
"Like I said, just let Spencer take him to the car."
"Aaron--" Spencer whispered, but then Haley frowned at him. He wasn't sure if it was because she'd probably never heard Spencer use Aaron's first name before, or if it was because she thought he would wake Jack.
She turned back to Aaron and nodded. "All right." She glanced at Spencer. "Thank you."
Spencer had no idea how to put a child in a car seat. He also had no desire to learn, but he had a feeling he was going to. He watched as Aaron gathered Jack's overnight bag, then came over to extend a hand to him. Haley frowned when Spencer took it and let Aaron pull him to his feet, but Spencer tried to ignore her.
Barefoot, he padded outside to her waiting car, where she went ahead of him and opened the door. Fortunately, she also arranged the straps and buckles of the car seat, then gestured for him to set Jack down.
As Spencer was leaning over, Jack stirred in his arms and then said his name in a tiny voice.
"Hey," Spencer whispered. "Go back to sleep."
"W'you cuddle me?" Jack said, but Spencer could tell he wasn't really awake. "Need practice."
Spencer huffed a little laugh, not really able to stop himself--Jack was cute when he was out of it--and then carefully got himself out of the backseat. "I don't... I don't know how to do the things," he told Haley awkwardly, gesturing to indicate he was talking about the straps, then moved away from her to stand by Aaron, behind his shoulder. He wondered if he ought to go back inside and leave them.
Aaron turned to smile at him, his expression warm, and slid an arm around Spencer's shoulders. "I'll see you in two weeks," he told Haley. "Drive safely."
She gave him an unhappy look, but nodded. "Bye. Bye, Spencer," she added, like an afterthought. She didn't wait for him to answer, but got in the car. Aaron guided Spencer back inside.
"That was a little better than Friday night," Aaron murmured.
"That was a lot better than Friday," Spencer said, slipping an arm around Aaron as they walked inside.
"A lot better," Aaron agreed. He shut the door behind them and kissed Spencer. "I think we should be relaxing in front of the TV with a movie and something alcoholic, what do you think?"
Spencer smiled at him, melting against him. "I like that. It sounds very adult."
"Oh, were you thinking naughty movies?" Aaron teased, and kissed him again. "I'll pick the movie and you can pick the wine."
"You just don't want to watch 2001: A Space Odyssey again," Spencer said, directing a teasing pout at Aaron, then pulling him in for another kiss. "I love you," he whispered.
"It put me to sleep the first time," Aaron replied, grinning. "I love you, too."
"Aaron, it's one of the greatest films ever made!" Spencer argued, and grinned because they'd had this argument after Spencer woke Aaron in a huff after they'd watched it the first time. He hadn't won then and doubted he would now.
"It's also two and a half hours long, and boring," Aaron retorted.
"It's inspired."
"To a genius, maybe." Aaron was grinning.
Spencer sighed dramatically. "White or red?"
Aaron leaned in for another brief kiss. "I don't care, as long as you're in my arms while we drink it."
The next installment in the series: One Who Kisses and One Who Offers the Cheek
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Date: 2009-01-19 03:50 am (UTC)I'd like to either see Hotch and Haley actually have their "talk" or have Spencer and Haley have it out. I like seeing Spencer growing more secure in his relationship with Hotch and Jack. I'd kind of like seeing him defend it a bit, but that could be because I have a secret weakness for "catty Spencer."
All in all, I really enjoy this series. ^_^
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Date: 2009-01-19 04:29 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-01-19 01:11 pm (UTC)Thanks!
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Date: 2009-01-20 01:45 am (UTC)In said plot bunny Spencer confronts Haley after she has already had a bigger confrontation with Hotch that really upsets him which, in turn, upsets Spencer enough that when Haley stops by Hotch's place Reid intercepts her and gets all catty with her.
I like a Reid that gets to have some "white knight" moments.