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geekystudmuffinTitle: With All My Worldly Good
Authors:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
innerslytherin and severity_softly
Pairing: Reid/Rossi
Rating: NC-17/FRAO
WC: ~7,000
Warning/Kink: Highlight between stars to read: * outdoor sex *
Summary: After attending the funeral of a friend, Dave has a few things he wants Spencer to know.
Notes: Self-betaed as usual.
This is part of the "Conscious of Our Treasures" universe, all of which can be found at this tag. This is part FOUR. :)
David Rossi looked great in a suit. That fact certainly didn't surprise Spencer, though he'd never had occasion to see Dave in a suit until today. It was black, of course, with a charcoal gray shirt and a dark silver tie. The perfect suit to wear out to dinner or to a book signing. Or a funeral.
Reid hadn't known Max Ryan very well, and in complete honesty he hadn't really liked him much the one case they'd worked together on. But Dave had worked with Ryan for nearly fifteen years before retiring the first time, and they'd kept in touch since then, despite Ryan's disliking the way Dave wrote up the Keystone Killer case in one of his books.
The drive home from the cemetery had been devoid of conversation. Ryan had been buried in Reston, Virginia, where his ex-wife and daughters still lived, and it was only an hour's drive back to Dave's house. The car had been slightly cool, the radio off, the only noise the faint sound of the road. Dave had glanced at Spencer a few times, but Spencer had declined to meet his gaze. He wished Hotch had shared a ride with them, but Hotch was going on to Philadelphia after the funeral for a consult with local authorities, so he'd driven separately.
When they got back to Dave's house, they went inside silently. Dave threw his keys on the kitchen island and immediately poured himself a scotch on rocks. Spencer hovered awkwardly halfway between the door and the island.
When Dave had taken several sips, he said abruptly, "You should be familiar with the terms of my will and funeral arrangements."
Spencer's mouth dropped open a little. That was not at all what he'd be expecting to hear. He'd been expecting Dave to quietly brood most of the night, maybe--maybe--talk about Ryan and the early days of the BAU. He had certainly never expected the talk of death to be turned on Dave, and the thought, frankly, made Spencer almost immediately ill.
He knew his lover was older than him by over two decades. He didn't want to think about it, though, not in regards to death and being abandoned, voluntarily or not, by someone he cared about again. "We don't need to talk about that," he said after a moment. "Not right now." Not ever, he wanted to say, but he couldn't force those words. Those words might make Dave angry.
"Yeah, we do," Dave said, and bolted the rest of his drink. He immediately poured himself another, which told Spencer that this wasn't a conversation Dave wanted to have, any more than Spencer did. But Dave had always been a contrary bastard, and if someone told him he couldn't do something, he did it. Even if the person who said he couldn't was himself.
He looked back at Spencer. "You get just about everything, of course."
Spencer shook his head. "I don't need everything. I don't want everything, Dave."
Dave rolled his eyes. "That's not the point. The point is, the least I can do is provide for you to be comfortable after I die."
"You don't think I can provide for myself?" Spencer shot back, narrowing his eyes for a moment and then frowning. "I don't want your things, Dave, I want you. Everything else would just be a reminder that you were gone." He ran his hand through his hair, wondering when the conversation had gone from making him ill, to making him irritated. "God, I don't want to talk about this," he added, crossing the room to the fridge to pull out a beer--cheap beer that Dave only kept for him because the pricier stuff Dave had tried to get him to drink was always too bitter for his taste.
"Of course you can provide for yourself," Dave snapped. "But what are you planning to do, forget about me when I'm gone?" He took another gulp of his drink, then set his glass down too hard on the counter. "And I don't really want to talk about it, either, but you have to know. It's gonna happen; this is an inevitability, Spencer. I am twenty-four years older than you, and barring something horrible happening, I am going to die before you."
Spencer barely contained the urge to tell Dave to shut up. He wanted to, though. He really wanted to. "Of course I'm not going to forget about you. But do you think I want to wander around this house lonely and wishing you were in bed with me?" His hands were shaking. "God, you're in good health. We have a good three or four decades, so just shut up." Oops.
"That's why this is a good time to talk about it," Dave insisted. "This isn't an easy conversation by any means, but wouldn't it be a hell of a lot worse if I was in the middle of chemo or something? Come on, Spence, how long have we been together? This is something my partner needs to know." He scowled at Spencer. "Not to mention neither one of us exactly has a safe desk job."
"I don't care. Write it all down, put it in a safe deposit box, and give me the key. I don't want to talk about it," Spencer said, pressing his hand to his eyes. He realized suddenly that he hadn't even opened his beer, and he stuck it back in the fridge and walked out of the room to slump on the couch.
After a long moment he heard Dave sigh explosively. The refrigerator door opened and closed, and then Dave came out to join Spencer. "Look, I'm sorry. I know this sucks, but this is important to me," Dave said. He settled on the couch next to Spencer and held out a beer. Spencer couldn't help the way his gaze was immediately drawn to the gold band gleaming faintly on Dave's ring finger. Dave had been wearing his ring for two months now, but it didn't help right now. The conversation was just reminding Spencer that Dave could still leave him.
"Maybe it's important for me not to think about it," Spencer said, and hated how vulnerable his voice sounded suddenly. He knew that wasn't fair, but he couldn't help it. He took the beer and set it aside, then wrapped his arms around Dave, burying his face against Dave's neck.
He felt Dave sigh, but strong arms went around him, holding him tightly. "Spencer," he said, and then stopped. After a moment he kissed Spencer's hair, brushing his nose against Spencer's ear. "There's not too much for you to know, but...please," he murmured, and it was a word that Dave didn't use often. It made Spencer feel guiltier, because it told him just how important this was to Dave.
Spencer drew a deep breath, cursing that he loved Dave for a moment, and then let it out. He pulled Dave closer, inviting tighter embrace, and said, "Tell me. I don't want to talk about it, though, so just... tell me."
Dave sighed again, then leaned back and pulled Spencer with him, shifting him half onto Dave's lap. "I own two plots in Mount Carmel Cemetery in Chicago. It's with the rest of my father's family. I'd quite honestly like it if you wanted to be buried next to me, but I don't expect it. You'll still be young, and I don't want you to spend decades of your life mourning me." His voice, which had started out steady, roughened as he spoke.
Spencer chest ached. He wanted to be buried in Vegas, where his mother had a plot. Well, cremated, but all the same. He'd left her there years ago, and couldn't bear the thought of letting her stay there alone forever. He half wanted to tell Dave that too. But this was a conversation that didn't make sense now.
If Spencer wanted to be buried with Dave when he died, he'd be leaving his mother alone, and if Dave agreed to be buried in Vegas and Spencer did fall in love again... Spencer sighed, pushing away the thoughts. This question wouldn't have an answer--a wrong or right way to do things--until Spencer was old enough to be worrying about his own funeral. God, Spencer hated problems that couldn't be solved simply with either a series of calculations or logic. He just made a little whimpery noise and held Dave closer.
Dave exhaled shakily and stroked a hand over Spencer's hair. "I'd like my nephew Paul to do the funeral liturgy. He's a priest in Chicago, and he's just a little older than you, so hopefully he'll still be around to do it. Financially I've got sums in my will for all my brothers' and sisters' kids, and for Georgie's kids, and Felicia's, if she and Susan ever have any. It's not like you'll be hurting for money, anyway."
Spencer nodded, clamping his eyes shut. "Maybe I'll get lucky and we'll get killed together in the line of duty," he offered morosely, and kissed Dave's neck.
"God," Dave uttered, tightening his arms around Spencer. He didn't speak for a long time. Eventually he took a long breath. "Whatever you do, don't let Rita have anything to do with any of the funeral arrangements. She'd take over in a heartbeat if you let her."
Spencer pulled away, his mouth hanging open. "I'm expected to fend off ex-wives after you die?!" he said. "I don't even want to-- I don't--" He rubbed his hand over his face and slumped back on the couch. The cool metal of his 'wedding band' was pressed to his cheek, and when he dropped his hand, he twisted it around his finger absently a few times.
He could feel Dave watching him, but he didn't look up. This was too much. It was just all too much. He ignored the sound of Dave twisting his beer bottle open and didn't look up even when the bottle entered his field of vision.
"Spencer," Dave said, and sighed.
Spencer didn't take it, he just shook his head at nothing in particular. "You can't die," he said after a long pause, which he knew was ridiculous, but he couldn't think of another thing to possibly say. His eyes stung suddenly, and he took the bottle and took a long drink before that got any worse. He knew how to numb emotions with... substances. He wondered how drunk he could get on beer before Dave would stop him.
Dave was silent for a moment. "Eventually we all do," he said finally. "But I hope you'll try to believe me that death is the only thing that will ever take me from you."
"That doesn't help." Spencer took another drink, this one longer than the one before.
"I know." Dave took his own glass off the coffee table and drained it, then pulled Spencer back into his arms. "You already know the charities I donate to, and there are some provisions for them in my will, too. The properties and the vehicles go to you, along with all my personal effects."
"Is this conversation going to last much longer?" Spencer asked, taking another sip of his beer awkwardly in Dave's arms. He didn't want the houses or the cars. He didn't want the closets full of Dave's clothes, or the Renaissance paintings on the walls. He wanted Dave. "None of that stuff means anything to me."
"Maybe not, but it means something to me that they go to the person who understands me best, the person I love more than anyone." Dave didn't exactly answer Spencer's question, but he lowered his head to brush his lips against Spencer's, which was indication enough that the conversation was done.
Spencer drew a short breath, and pressed his lips to Dave's more firmly, sliding his tongue out to taste Dave's mouth. "None of this matters, you know," he breathed when he pulled away, "because you're not allowed to die."
Dave grunted and kissed him again. One hand came up to stroke Spencer's cheek gently. Spencer knew it was an apology, but he wasn't sure it was enough.
He wasn't sure what it was for either. The conversation, or the fact that Dave would die. Spencer's chest ached again, and he pulled back, frowning. "I might raid your liqour cabinet, okay?" he muttered.
"Why?" Dave didn't let him pull back very far, and Spencer held in a sigh, knowing Dave wasn't going to let him get away with it.
He shrugged. "Why can't I?" he asked obtusely.
"Depends on your motivation," Dave replied, and kissed him again. It was more demanding than the other kisses had been, but Spencer tried not to take the bait.
"You had a couple of drinks," Spencer pointed out against Dave's lips, and then he slumped a little. "Just let me," he said finally, knowing he couldn't lie to Dave. "Just let me; I don't want to think about this," he whispered, wishing his voice wouldn't shake. "You can't tell me you don't drink when you're upset."
Dave pulled Spencer's head down against his shoulder, running his fingers through his hair. "No, I can't," he admitted. "And part of the reason I was drinking today was Max Ryan, and part of it was knowing what I said was going to do this to you." He sighed. "But I don't have the same relationship with alcohol that you do. We both know you're better off distracting yourself some other way."
"I don't have a relationship with alcohol," Spencer protested weakly, but the both knew that he had a relationship with just about any drug that would help him escape pain, regardless of whether it was his 'drug of choice', so the point was moot. He drew a shaky breath and turned into Dave's embrace. "God, Dave."
"I love you," Dave murmured, "and I trust you, and ninety-nine percent of the time there's no reason for me to say anything. But today I'm not going to let you use my good scotch just to numb the pain." His hands were moving as he spoke, though, roaming gently over Spencer's skin and hair, holding him close...reassuring him that Dave also wasn't going to leave him alone to deal with it.
"God," Spencer breathed again, tightening his arms on Dave. He wasn't sure there was any other option, though, short of going to bed and pulling the covers over his head. "You could have picked a better time for this conversation. Not right after watching one of your friends get buried."
Dave grunted. "That was what made me realize I needed to." Thankfully he didn't say anything else. He kissed Spencer's hair instead, and slid a hand down Spencer's back.
"I know. Couldn't you have written it down and brought it back up later when that wasn't so fresh?" Spencer sighed.
"If I have something unpleasant to do, I prefer to get it out of the way as quickly as possible, so as to move on to other, more pleasant things." Dave stroked his fingers through Spencer's hair. "I am sorry," he added, his voice low.
"It's okay," Spencer muttered. It didn't really feel okay, but he knew Dave would know that.
Dave's fingers slid from Spencer's hair to his cheek, then trailed down his jaw to his chin. Dave tilted Spencer's face up gently, leaning in for a kiss that started gently. As Dave drew it out, though, it grew more passionate, but it still felt more like a question than a demand.
Spencer wasn't really sure he was in the mood, which was... well, strange. Usually, it was Spencer who pushed the idea of sex, who dragged Dave to bed when he thought Dave needed it. Right now, his chest was aching though, and he just wanted to forget, to be numb. "Dave," he whispered, unsure if it was a protest or invitation.
"Spence," Dave returned, stroking his other hand down Spencer's cheek. He kissed Spencer again, tracing his tongue along Spencer's lower lip, teasing gently, then curling his fingers into Spencer's hair and letting the kiss gain in hunger.
"You're trying to distract me," Spencer pointed out, kissing Dave again. The distraction was working on his body, even if his mind wasn't convinced, each swipe of Dave's tongue going straight through his body and to his groin.
"Mm, is it working?" Dave mumbled, sliding a hand down Spencer's back to cup his ass.
Spencer sucked in a breath, and let out a little noise. "In some ways more than others," he said, knowing he still sounded preoccupied, in spite of his body's response.
"Let's concentrate on the 'some ways', then." Dave nibbled along Spencer's jaw, sliding his hand back up under Spencer's jacket and tugging at the back of his shirt until he reached bare skin. The warmth of his hand against the small of Spencer's back sent a pleasant thrill through Spencer.
"Mmm," Spencer hummed, letting Dave's lips and teeth work over his skin. He tugged Dave toward him a little, inviting Dave to take control for once. He wanted to let Dave make him feel better.
"My beautiful Spencer," Dave murmured. He licked and sucked lightly at Spencer's throat, pulling him closer. "So wonderful," he breathed, lifting his head to kiss Spencer's mouth again. "So precious to me." His fingers stroked across Spencer's back, giving him shivers.
Spencer made another noise, one that sounded suspiciously halfway between a whimper and a sob, and he felt Dave's arm tighten on him at that. Dave was precious to him too. "I love you," he whispered. He knew he never said it enough; they weren't very comfortable words to say, and they hurt right now, thinking about that love being taken away, but they felt appropriate too.
"Let me show you," Dave murmured. "Need to get you undressed so I can worship you properly." He hummed in Spencer's ear. "With my body, I thee worship," he whispered.
"And with all my worldly good, I thee endow," Spencer continued for him, but he gave a sad laugh when Dave started to loosen his tie.
"Spencer," Dave breathed. His next kiss was both tender and hungry. Spencer wondered if Dave had thought about how those words would sound just after discussing his will, then tried to push the thought from his mind. Dave was shifting and turning them, pressing Spencer down against the couch.
God, he probably needed this. If he could just get his mind off the conversation they just had, he could let Dave remind him that they were very much still alive and together. "Take me outside," he said, before he'd really even formed the thought fully in his head, and then gave Dave a sincere look when Dave pulled back with a questioning gaze of his own.
"It's a little cool out there," Dave said. "And I do have neighbors, even if I don't see much of them." But his tone sounded more intrigued than discouraging. He kissed Spencer. "We'll need blankets."
Spencer shook his head. "Your grass is nice," he murmured, and then felt a tiny smile creep slowly across his face. It was spring, and everything outside was starting to turn green and bloom. Everything was alive.
Dave's eyebrows rose slowly. "You look good in green," he said, stroking a hand down Spencer's back. "Stay here. I'll be back with blankets."
Spence hooked a hand around Dave's waist before he got away, and met Dave's gaze. "I meant your grass is nice enough that we don't need blankets."
Dave blinked. "It's cold out there," he said, which was an exaggeration. Spencer suspected Dave just didn't want to get grass in delicate locations.
"It's not like we won't be keeping active," Spencer said, and pulled Dave in for a kiss.
"Hmm." Dave kissed him thoroughly, then pulled away and eyed him. "You always end up getting your way. When did I go soft and how did I not notice it?" he grumbled. But he stood and pulled Spencer to his feet, then gestured for him to go first.
Spencer wrapped an arm around Dave and kissed him before he moved, then tugged at Dave's tie. He pulled it off with one hand, and hooked the other into Dave's pants as he pulled them towards the door. When they got to the back door, Spencer pulled off his own jacket, and then started undressing Dave. "Don't want grass stains, though," he murmured.
"Um." Dave stared at him. "I am not walking out my back door naked," he said after a moment. "You are more than welcome to, however."
Undeterred, Spencer pushed Dave's jacket off his shoulders. "You want grass stains on your nice suit? You'll be naked out there soon enough."
"I do have neighbors," Dave repeated, but he didn't fight Spencer's getting him undressed. "God, you must have driven me crazy. I would never have done this in my wild youth, but here I am considering it. Because of you."
Spencer shook his head. "Lived through 'free love' and never got naked outside?" he asked, though he didn't need an answer. He had Dave naked from the waist up in short work and started kissing along Dave's neck and throat. "I think you need to feel the breeze on your skin at least once." Before you die. It was the natural end to that sentence, and Spencer paused when it crossed his mind, but then just went quiet and pulled his own shirt off.
"I spent the Seventies working for The Man," Dave said, his humorous tone a little forced. "Anyway, the free love was the Sixties, and I was in junior high. The most action I was getting then was spin the bottle." He shivered and tilted his head, then hooked a finger in Spencer's pants. "You'd better keep getting naked, too. God only knows what my neighbors think of me."
Spencer shrugged, then unzipped his pants, still not ready to say anything again yet. He undid his fly and pushed his pants off, toeing off his shoes and socks. A moment later, he looked back at Dave and bit his lip. He hooked his thumbs in his boxers (Dave had started buying him boxers, which he only really wore because Dave liked them--he felt like he was hanging loose in them), and pushed those off too.
Dave's eyebrows went up again and he folded his arms across his chest, openly ogling Spencer. "You know, you've come a long way from 'I'm not walking around my apartment naked'," he pointed out. His gaze was warm. "What was it you said then? Something about civilized people not walking around naked?"
"You ruined me," Spencer said, with no hint of humor, then he leaned in to kiss Dave. "And this is different."
"Ruined you, hmm?" Dave stroked his palms over Spencer's skin, making Spencer shiver. "God, you are so amazing." He kissed Spencer hungrily and lowered one hand to undo his pants. "And I am clearly crazy about you." A moment later he was skinning out of his pants.
Spencer wrapped his arms around Dave, suddenly starting to feel a little flutter in his stomach about this. Maybe they did need a blanket. Maybe they would be seen. But he pressed his hardness against Dave's and kissed him again, trying to drown the sudden nervousness in desire, in feeling alive.
Dave hummed into the kiss and stroked a hand down Spencer's back. He knew Dave aimed for his erogenous zones on purpose, but somehow knowing that never translated to being able to resist. Spencer gasped faintly into the kiss as Dave's hand swatted him lightly on the ass.
"Outside, then," Dave murmured. "And we'll hope my neighbors don't think they're supposed to be feeding my goldfish."
Spencer pulled back and smiled faintly at Dave, then snapped the waist band of his underwear before pulling away completely. He poked his head outside, glancing up at both of the neighbor's houses, and then stepped outside.
He clearly didn't need to be active, or need a blanket, as he felt his entire body go warm at being completely naked outside. He turned around and waited for Dave, tugging him close when Dave followed him out.
"That's an attractive shade on you," Dave commented. "I had no idea your back could blush. Turn around, I want to see that again."
"Shut up," Spencer said, his skin feeling like it was tingling against Dave's. They were standing out of the deck. Naked. And kissing, once Spencer leaned in for another kiss. This was not what Spencer had expected to do today, and somehow once he was out here, it was a little exciting. "Dave," he murmured, not moving, and kissed Dave again.
Dave's fingers slid through his hair as they kissed, and then he was being nudged backwards. He almost stumbled, but Dave's hands caught him and steadied him, guiding him carefully. "In the grass, you said," Dave reminded him, an almost mischievous look on his face.
Spencer's lips curled up. "Mmm, in the grass," he agreed, burying his face against Dave's neck as they moved, licking and nibbling and relishing the feel of the breeze on his skin, the way it compared with the warmth of Dave's body pressed to his.
They reached an open spot near the center of the yard that was partially hidden in the trees, and Dave guided him down. It felt weird, sitting naked in the grass, the way the the blades stroked his skin in places he'd never felt before (and never expected to feel), and Dave knelt in front of him and kissed him again, his hands sliding down Spencer's sides.
"God, you're beautiful. No wonder I do crazy things for you." Dave was grinning at him, obviously turned on by being out in the middle of his yard naked. Spencer lifted a hand to touch his face, but Dave just nipped at his fingers and kept staring. "I love the way your body looks in the sunlight."
"'A few light kisses...a few embraces...a reaching around of arms,'" Spencer whispered. "'The play of shine and shade on the trees as the supple boughs wag; the delight alone or the rush of the streets, or along the fields and hillsides; the feeling of health...the full-noon trill...the song of me rising from bed and meeting the sun.'"
Dave was still staring at him, but his gaze was appreciative. "I don't recognize it," he admitted after a moment. "But it might have been written about you. I thought you said I was your first real lover." He tried, and failed, to give Spencer a jealous glare.
Spencer smiled. "Whitman. Leaves of Grass." He ran his fingers through the grass and shrugged, giving Dave a self-deprecating grin. "Bit on the nose." He tilted his head at Dave. "'I mind how we lay in June, such a transparent summer morning; you settled you head athwart my hips and gently turned over on me, and parted the shirt from my bosom-bone, and plunged your tongue to my barestript heart.'" He lifted his brows as if that had been a suggestion.
Dave took his meaning and settled down in the grass with him, an odd expression crossing his face, presumably at the way the grass tickled. He rested his head not quite 'athwart' Spencer's hips, and trailed kisses across his ribcage. "We'll have to try this again in June, then," he murmured
"Okay," Spencer murmured, sliding his fingers into Dave's hair and watching Dave's lips moving over his skin. Dave's eyes closed as he moved, kissing Spencer softly, and Spencer found himself darting a glance up at Dave's closest neighbor's house again. "Dave," he murmured, looking back down to see Dave was watching him again.
"What is it?" Dave's expression was wonderful. Sometimes it still amazed Spencer that that look was for him. "Spencer?"
Spencer shook his head. "Nothing. You're so good to me," he whispered, stroking his fingers through Dave's hair.
Dave kissed his stomach and rested his head there, smiling up at Spencer. "I love you." He didn't wait for an answer before he wiggled around a little and licked along Spencer's hip bone.
Spencer gasped, and then dropped his head back against the grass, smiling at the heat of Dave's tongue against his cool skin, the way he was licking and sucking gently. A stronger breeze blew his hair into his face, and his grin just went wider, his fingers tighter in Dave's hair. "God, Dave. Good," he breathed, shifting a little with the pleasure Dave was starting to send through him.
Dave hummed in acknowledgment and nosed further down, fingers stroking lightly along the insides of Spencer's thighs. Spencer gasped again when Dave placed a warm, wet kiss on the tip of his cock, and then Dave's mouth was around him, working slowly but steadily.
"Oh, God," Spencer panted, biting his lip. He wondered if he should try to be quiet, and then another little thrill shot through him that he could he heard as well as seen, if anyone were inclined to look. That should not be exciting.
"Mmm." Dave pulled back slowly, his tongue teasing against Spencer's flesh. The hand on Spencer's thigh slid up further to fondle his balls as Dave took him deep again.
Spencer whimpered, and shifted up against Dave's mouth once before settling his hips in the grass again. "Dave," he moaned, opening his eyes to watch the trees sway above them. "Oh, God, we need to do this again," he said, grinning as every swipe of Dave's tongue sent new shudders of pleasure through him.
Dave just hummed again and slid his hand down further, sliding his finger to press lightly against Spencer's opening. He was sliding his tongue around Spencer's cock, alternating the speed slightly, as his finger teased.
Spencer gasped and pressed down against Dave's finger automatically, but then remembered they'd forgotten lube. Dave pulled back a moment, his grin wicked, and the breeze and absense of Dave's mouth on Spencer caused a little his. Dave spit against his finger, then replaced his mouth on Spencer's cock.
It felt hotter than it did before, and Spencer arched agaist the grass with a sharp yelp of pleasure. "God!" he gasped, and Dave was pressing against his entrance again.
Dave made a noise that was clearly amused, but there was also arousal in that noise. His finger slid inside slowly, and in the mean time Dave was sucking harder now. He persisted until Spencer couldn't hold back a whimper of pleasure, and then Dave relented a little. But only for a moment, and then he was working his tongue again.
Spencer moaned loudly, then bit his lip, glancing at the second story windows of one of Dave's neighbors houses again. His eyes fluttered shut again, imagining what they might think if they looked out to see this. Pleasure was coiling up in Spencer fast, and Dave's finger found his prostate.
Spencer cried out, and gave Dave's hair a tug. "I'm going to-- Dave-- I'm--" he tried to warn, trying to pull Dave gently off his cock.
"Mmhmm." Dave's finger pressed hard, then went back to gentle rubbing as Dave sucked again.
"N-nno, I want you--" Spencer panted. "Want you inside me." He made a high-pitched noise, his body starting to race toward completion. "God--God--pl--please."
Dave made a noise of negation, but when Spencer repeated his 'please', Dave pulled off him and lifted his head. "Spence, let me give," he protested, his finger still rubbing.
Dave wasn't letting Spencer catch his breath. "Want you," he argued breathlessly, his eyes closed and chest heaving.
For a moment Dave was silent, then he shifted back and spit in his palm. "I'll give you whatever you want," he said quietly. He was still watching Spencer, not making any move to slick himself.
"Mmm," Spencer managed, a sort of encouragement, and then tried to force his body to calm a little so he didn't come as soon as Dave entered him. "Dave, I--" His throat tightened on the words that almost came out, and he pressed his hand to his forehead, panting.
"What?" Dave asked, sliding his finger a little inside Spencer, as if Spencer needed reminding. He still didn't act like he was going to give in and fuck Spencer though.
Spencer drew a shaky breath, and bit his lip. He didn't open his eyes. He wasn't sure he could say what he was thinking and look at Dave. After a moment, he lifted a leg to shift around without kicking Dave, though it forced Dave to have to pull his finger away. He moved to his elbows and knees in front of Dave, and dropped his forehead to the grass. "Please," he whispered.
"Spencer..." Dave sounded breathless, but also confused. He stroked a tender hand over Spencer's back. "What's going on?"
"I need you," Spencer whispered, reaching back to take Dave's hand and try to tug him forward. "I won't always have... this... you like this," he managed, relieved his voice hadn't come out as strangled as it felt.
Dave made a noise and then his lips were pressed against Spencer's back. "I'm sorry," he whispered, and a moment later Spencer heard him spit again. There was a shifting behind him, then Dave slid inside slowly.
Spencer let out a low groan and pressed back to meet Dave, and then Dave stilled against him, his arm wrapping around Spencer's body from behind. Dave's lips were pressing against the back of his neck and his shoulder blade, and Spencer shivered under him, adjusting to Dave's presence.
He inhaled another shaky breath, taking in the sweet smell of the grass and slightly damp earth under him, the way he and Dave were fit together. "Dave," he whispered, and slid his hand over Dave's hand on his chest.
"I'm sorry," Dave whispered again, turning his face against Spencer's neck. For a long moment they stayed that way, Dave clinging to Spencer and buried deep inside him. Then Dave began to move slowly. He laced their fingers together and wouldn't let go.
Spencer tried to tell Dave to stop apologizing, but when Dave moved, he just moaned instead. He tightened his fingers on Dave's, and pressed back to meet Dave with each thrust, willing his mind to shut off and his body to just feel, but Dave was moving too slowly for that. "Please," he panted.
Dave obviously realized what he wanted, even if he didn't seem to know why Spencer was so desperate. He quickly picked up his rhythm until he was thrusting hard into Spencer, their fingers clenched tightly together. "Gorgeous," Dave whispered, his mouth by Spencer's ear. "Beautiful. Sexy."
"Yes," Spencer panted, closing his eyes and letting his body go loose under Dave. His fingers curled into the grass, and then Dave shifted and was hitting his prostate. Spencer moaned, and bit his lip. "Dave," he whimpered. Somewhere a sliding glass door opened and shut, but Spencer couldn't tell where or how close it was. He didn't care either. "Don't stop," he whispered quickly.
Dave made a strangled noise, but didn't stop. His fingers curled around Spencer's cock, stroking him firmly. "Quiet," he breathed in Spencer's ear.
Spencer let out a breathy laugh, not even sure why, but he pressed back to meet Dave's thrusts, biting his lip to keep from whimpering at the slide of Dave's hand. His breath was coming in short, quiet gasps.
"Close, aren't you?" Dave asked, panting as he thrust harder. "The idea that someone might come around the house and see us like this, see me buried inside you...that turns you on, doesn't it?" He bit Spencer's earlobe gently, then pulled back. "You'd like it if someone caught us."
"Gggh-- in-- theory," Spencer managed to pant. And it was weird, but somehow it was exciting, the idea of someone watching them, that someone would see how much Dave wanted him. "Yes," he moaned softly. "Close."
"If you can still answer like that, I'm doing something wrong," Dave muttered, and twisted his hand around Spencer's cock. "Think of it, someone could see how hard you get me, how beautiful you are. We could get caught, and people would realize how much I need you." His hips jacked into Spencer, driving the breath from him with the force of the thrusts.
"Hnnnhh," was all Spencer managed to get out this time, and he dropped his head to the grass, watching Dave's hand work over him. God, this was amazing, the fresh air on their skin, the dirt and grass under them, rutting against one another desperately when they could be heard or caught any moment.
Spencer felt dizzy with need, his blood pulsing in his ears, and he came hard, unable to keep from groaning as he watched his release stripe the grass with white.
"God," Dave gasped, pumping through the last of Spencer's climax. As soon as he was done, Dave's hand moved to his hips, pulling them together with more force as Dave straightened and changed the angle of his thrusts. "So fucking good, Spence," he managed, his hips slapping against Spencer's ass.
Spencer made a strangled noise, and braced himself against the onslaught, his body still humming and tingling as Dave pushed into him. Dave was muttering endearments under his breath as he moved, and then he stilled, his fingers curled tightly against Spencer's hip as he came, moaning Spencer's name.
In the silence that followed, broken only by their ragged breathing, they clearly heard the sliding glass door again. Dave started laughing and slumped against Spencer, bearing him down to the grass. "Oh, God," he murmured, wrapping his arms around Spencer and pulling him close. "I can see the police report now. 'Received domestic disturbance call, discovered two men copulating in back yard. Half the neighbors outraged, other half watching with binoculars.'"
Spencer laughed too, breathlessly, surprised that Dave was laughing, and shifted under Dave to a more comfortable position. He wrapped his arm around Dave and kissed his throat, hooking a leg with Dave's. "God," he breathed, still breathing hard against Dave's skin.
"Nnh." Dave stroked a hand lazily over Spencer's skin. "You're incredible."
Spencer settled under Dave's gentle caresses, closing his eyes and just feeling this moment, the sounds around them, the smells. God. "Thank you," he murmured after a long pause, snuggling closer to Dave as the wind whipped past them a little stronger.
Dave's breathing slowed and he pressed a kiss to Spencer's hair. "Mmm, don't really want to move, but frankly my ass is getting cold," he muttered after a moment.
Spencer laughed softly and slid his hand down Dave's back to cup his ass. "Better?"
Dave laughed and kissed him. "Smart alec," he muttered. "God. We really are lying naked in my back yard after having sex, aren't we?"
"Mm-hmm," Spencer said, kissing Dave again.
"Maybe it's time to go inside," Dave said.
Spencer groaned dramatically. "You're so predictable."
"What, you want us to stay out here? We can stay out here." Dave didn't sound certain about it, but he sounded like he would do it just to prove something.
Spencer decided to take pity on him. That, and it was getting a little cool. Maybe next time, they should bring blankets, and then they could wrap up and stay outside longer. "Okay," he whispered, lifting up on his elbow to look at Dave. "Let's go inside." He kissed Dave slowly, and then stood. There was grass sticking to him in places it really shouldn't be, but he just laughed softly and tugged Dave up.
Oddly, it felt weird again once he was standing, though, as if they'd been more hidden on the ground, and he pulled Dave close and led them inside again.
Once they were back in the house, Dave dragged Spencer naked to the bathroom and gave him five minutes to clean up. When Spencer came back out to the den, Dave had blankets on the sofa and two glasses of scotch. He gave Spencer an inviting look.
"I'm allowed to drink it now?" Spencer murmured. He hadn't bothered dressing, so he curled up against Dave's side and pulled the blanket over him.
"Mmm," was Dave's only response. He wrapped his arms around Spencer and kissed him slowly.
Spencer hummed happily into the kiss, settling closer, then whispered, "Thank you," again, because Dave hadn't acknowledged it last time.
"You're welcome," Dave replied, stroking his fingers over Spencer's skin. He leaned his head against Spencer's, breathing deeply.
Spencer made a contented noise and took a drink of his scotch. "Can we never talk about that again?" He put his glass down and stroked Dave's side. "Not the sex, the other stuff."
Dave sighed, but he didn't sound unhappy. "I can't promise, but I certainly hope not." He tightened his hold on Spencer, then kissed him again. "After all, I know you'll never forget."
Authors:
innerslytherin and severity_softlyPairing: Reid/Rossi
Rating: NC-17/FRAO
WC: ~7,000
Warning/Kink: Highlight between stars to read: * outdoor sex *
Summary: After attending the funeral of a friend, Dave has a few things he wants Spencer to know.
Notes: Self-betaed as usual.
This is part of the "Conscious of Our Treasures" universe, all of which can be found at this tag. This is part FOUR. :)
David Rossi looked great in a suit. That fact certainly didn't surprise Spencer, though he'd never had occasion to see Dave in a suit until today. It was black, of course, with a charcoal gray shirt and a dark silver tie. The perfect suit to wear out to dinner or to a book signing. Or a funeral.
Reid hadn't known Max Ryan very well, and in complete honesty he hadn't really liked him much the one case they'd worked together on. But Dave had worked with Ryan for nearly fifteen years before retiring the first time, and they'd kept in touch since then, despite Ryan's disliking the way Dave wrote up the Keystone Killer case in one of his books.
The drive home from the cemetery had been devoid of conversation. Ryan had been buried in Reston, Virginia, where his ex-wife and daughters still lived, and it was only an hour's drive back to Dave's house. The car had been slightly cool, the radio off, the only noise the faint sound of the road. Dave had glanced at Spencer a few times, but Spencer had declined to meet his gaze. He wished Hotch had shared a ride with them, but Hotch was going on to Philadelphia after the funeral for a consult with local authorities, so he'd driven separately.
When they got back to Dave's house, they went inside silently. Dave threw his keys on the kitchen island and immediately poured himself a scotch on rocks. Spencer hovered awkwardly halfway between the door and the island.
When Dave had taken several sips, he said abruptly, "You should be familiar with the terms of my will and funeral arrangements."
Spencer's mouth dropped open a little. That was not at all what he'd be expecting to hear. He'd been expecting Dave to quietly brood most of the night, maybe--maybe--talk about Ryan and the early days of the BAU. He had certainly never expected the talk of death to be turned on Dave, and the thought, frankly, made Spencer almost immediately ill.
He knew his lover was older than him by over two decades. He didn't want to think about it, though, not in regards to death and being abandoned, voluntarily or not, by someone he cared about again. "We don't need to talk about that," he said after a moment. "Not right now." Not ever, he wanted to say, but he couldn't force those words. Those words might make Dave angry.
"Yeah, we do," Dave said, and bolted the rest of his drink. He immediately poured himself another, which told Spencer that this wasn't a conversation Dave wanted to have, any more than Spencer did. But Dave had always been a contrary bastard, and if someone told him he couldn't do something, he did it. Even if the person who said he couldn't was himself.
He looked back at Spencer. "You get just about everything, of course."
Spencer shook his head. "I don't need everything. I don't want everything, Dave."
Dave rolled his eyes. "That's not the point. The point is, the least I can do is provide for you to be comfortable after I die."
"You don't think I can provide for myself?" Spencer shot back, narrowing his eyes for a moment and then frowning. "I don't want your things, Dave, I want you. Everything else would just be a reminder that you were gone." He ran his hand through his hair, wondering when the conversation had gone from making him ill, to making him irritated. "God, I don't want to talk about this," he added, crossing the room to the fridge to pull out a beer--cheap beer that Dave only kept for him because the pricier stuff Dave had tried to get him to drink was always too bitter for his taste.
"Of course you can provide for yourself," Dave snapped. "But what are you planning to do, forget about me when I'm gone?" He took another gulp of his drink, then set his glass down too hard on the counter. "And I don't really want to talk about it, either, but you have to know. It's gonna happen; this is an inevitability, Spencer. I am twenty-four years older than you, and barring something horrible happening, I am going to die before you."
Spencer barely contained the urge to tell Dave to shut up. He wanted to, though. He really wanted to. "Of course I'm not going to forget about you. But do you think I want to wander around this house lonely and wishing you were in bed with me?" His hands were shaking. "God, you're in good health. We have a good three or four decades, so just shut up." Oops.
"That's why this is a good time to talk about it," Dave insisted. "This isn't an easy conversation by any means, but wouldn't it be a hell of a lot worse if I was in the middle of chemo or something? Come on, Spence, how long have we been together? This is something my partner needs to know." He scowled at Spencer. "Not to mention neither one of us exactly has a safe desk job."
"I don't care. Write it all down, put it in a safe deposit box, and give me the key. I don't want to talk about it," Spencer said, pressing his hand to his eyes. He realized suddenly that he hadn't even opened his beer, and he stuck it back in the fridge and walked out of the room to slump on the couch.
After a long moment he heard Dave sigh explosively. The refrigerator door opened and closed, and then Dave came out to join Spencer. "Look, I'm sorry. I know this sucks, but this is important to me," Dave said. He settled on the couch next to Spencer and held out a beer. Spencer couldn't help the way his gaze was immediately drawn to the gold band gleaming faintly on Dave's ring finger. Dave had been wearing his ring for two months now, but it didn't help right now. The conversation was just reminding Spencer that Dave could still leave him.
"Maybe it's important for me not to think about it," Spencer said, and hated how vulnerable his voice sounded suddenly. He knew that wasn't fair, but he couldn't help it. He took the beer and set it aside, then wrapped his arms around Dave, burying his face against Dave's neck.
He felt Dave sigh, but strong arms went around him, holding him tightly. "Spencer," he said, and then stopped. After a moment he kissed Spencer's hair, brushing his nose against Spencer's ear. "There's not too much for you to know, but...please," he murmured, and it was a word that Dave didn't use often. It made Spencer feel guiltier, because it told him just how important this was to Dave.
Spencer drew a deep breath, cursing that he loved Dave for a moment, and then let it out. He pulled Dave closer, inviting tighter embrace, and said, "Tell me. I don't want to talk about it, though, so just... tell me."
Dave sighed again, then leaned back and pulled Spencer with him, shifting him half onto Dave's lap. "I own two plots in Mount Carmel Cemetery in Chicago. It's with the rest of my father's family. I'd quite honestly like it if you wanted to be buried next to me, but I don't expect it. You'll still be young, and I don't want you to spend decades of your life mourning me." His voice, which had started out steady, roughened as he spoke.
Spencer chest ached. He wanted to be buried in Vegas, where his mother had a plot. Well, cremated, but all the same. He'd left her there years ago, and couldn't bear the thought of letting her stay there alone forever. He half wanted to tell Dave that too. But this was a conversation that didn't make sense now.
If Spencer wanted to be buried with Dave when he died, he'd be leaving his mother alone, and if Dave agreed to be buried in Vegas and Spencer did fall in love again... Spencer sighed, pushing away the thoughts. This question wouldn't have an answer--a wrong or right way to do things--until Spencer was old enough to be worrying about his own funeral. God, Spencer hated problems that couldn't be solved simply with either a series of calculations or logic. He just made a little whimpery noise and held Dave closer.
Dave exhaled shakily and stroked a hand over Spencer's hair. "I'd like my nephew Paul to do the funeral liturgy. He's a priest in Chicago, and he's just a little older than you, so hopefully he'll still be around to do it. Financially I've got sums in my will for all my brothers' and sisters' kids, and for Georgie's kids, and Felicia's, if she and Susan ever have any. It's not like you'll be hurting for money, anyway."
Spencer nodded, clamping his eyes shut. "Maybe I'll get lucky and we'll get killed together in the line of duty," he offered morosely, and kissed Dave's neck.
"God," Dave uttered, tightening his arms around Spencer. He didn't speak for a long time. Eventually he took a long breath. "Whatever you do, don't let Rita have anything to do with any of the funeral arrangements. She'd take over in a heartbeat if you let her."
Spencer pulled away, his mouth hanging open. "I'm expected to fend off ex-wives after you die?!" he said. "I don't even want to-- I don't--" He rubbed his hand over his face and slumped back on the couch. The cool metal of his 'wedding band' was pressed to his cheek, and when he dropped his hand, he twisted it around his finger absently a few times.
He could feel Dave watching him, but he didn't look up. This was too much. It was just all too much. He ignored the sound of Dave twisting his beer bottle open and didn't look up even when the bottle entered his field of vision.
"Spencer," Dave said, and sighed.
Spencer didn't take it, he just shook his head at nothing in particular. "You can't die," he said after a long pause, which he knew was ridiculous, but he couldn't think of another thing to possibly say. His eyes stung suddenly, and he took the bottle and took a long drink before that got any worse. He knew how to numb emotions with... substances. He wondered how drunk he could get on beer before Dave would stop him.
Dave was silent for a moment. "Eventually we all do," he said finally. "But I hope you'll try to believe me that death is the only thing that will ever take me from you."
"That doesn't help." Spencer took another drink, this one longer than the one before.
"I know." Dave took his own glass off the coffee table and drained it, then pulled Spencer back into his arms. "You already know the charities I donate to, and there are some provisions for them in my will, too. The properties and the vehicles go to you, along with all my personal effects."
"Is this conversation going to last much longer?" Spencer asked, taking another sip of his beer awkwardly in Dave's arms. He didn't want the houses or the cars. He didn't want the closets full of Dave's clothes, or the Renaissance paintings on the walls. He wanted Dave. "None of that stuff means anything to me."
"Maybe not, but it means something to me that they go to the person who understands me best, the person I love more than anyone." Dave didn't exactly answer Spencer's question, but he lowered his head to brush his lips against Spencer's, which was indication enough that the conversation was done.
Spencer drew a short breath, and pressed his lips to Dave's more firmly, sliding his tongue out to taste Dave's mouth. "None of this matters, you know," he breathed when he pulled away, "because you're not allowed to die."
Dave grunted and kissed him again. One hand came up to stroke Spencer's cheek gently. Spencer knew it was an apology, but he wasn't sure it was enough.
He wasn't sure what it was for either. The conversation, or the fact that Dave would die. Spencer's chest ached again, and he pulled back, frowning. "I might raid your liqour cabinet, okay?" he muttered.
"Why?" Dave didn't let him pull back very far, and Spencer held in a sigh, knowing Dave wasn't going to let him get away with it.
He shrugged. "Why can't I?" he asked obtusely.
"Depends on your motivation," Dave replied, and kissed him again. It was more demanding than the other kisses had been, but Spencer tried not to take the bait.
"You had a couple of drinks," Spencer pointed out against Dave's lips, and then he slumped a little. "Just let me," he said finally, knowing he couldn't lie to Dave. "Just let me; I don't want to think about this," he whispered, wishing his voice wouldn't shake. "You can't tell me you don't drink when you're upset."
Dave pulled Spencer's head down against his shoulder, running his fingers through his hair. "No, I can't," he admitted. "And part of the reason I was drinking today was Max Ryan, and part of it was knowing what I said was going to do this to you." He sighed. "But I don't have the same relationship with alcohol that you do. We both know you're better off distracting yourself some other way."
"I don't have a relationship with alcohol," Spencer protested weakly, but the both knew that he had a relationship with just about any drug that would help him escape pain, regardless of whether it was his 'drug of choice', so the point was moot. He drew a shaky breath and turned into Dave's embrace. "God, Dave."
"I love you," Dave murmured, "and I trust you, and ninety-nine percent of the time there's no reason for me to say anything. But today I'm not going to let you use my good scotch just to numb the pain." His hands were moving as he spoke, though, roaming gently over Spencer's skin and hair, holding him close...reassuring him that Dave also wasn't going to leave him alone to deal with it.
"God," Spencer breathed again, tightening his arms on Dave. He wasn't sure there was any other option, though, short of going to bed and pulling the covers over his head. "You could have picked a better time for this conversation. Not right after watching one of your friends get buried."
Dave grunted. "That was what made me realize I needed to." Thankfully he didn't say anything else. He kissed Spencer's hair instead, and slid a hand down Spencer's back.
"I know. Couldn't you have written it down and brought it back up later when that wasn't so fresh?" Spencer sighed.
"If I have something unpleasant to do, I prefer to get it out of the way as quickly as possible, so as to move on to other, more pleasant things." Dave stroked his fingers through Spencer's hair. "I am sorry," he added, his voice low.
"It's okay," Spencer muttered. It didn't really feel okay, but he knew Dave would know that.
Dave's fingers slid from Spencer's hair to his cheek, then trailed down his jaw to his chin. Dave tilted Spencer's face up gently, leaning in for a kiss that started gently. As Dave drew it out, though, it grew more passionate, but it still felt more like a question than a demand.
Spencer wasn't really sure he was in the mood, which was... well, strange. Usually, it was Spencer who pushed the idea of sex, who dragged Dave to bed when he thought Dave needed it. Right now, his chest was aching though, and he just wanted to forget, to be numb. "Dave," he whispered, unsure if it was a protest or invitation.
"Spence," Dave returned, stroking his other hand down Spencer's cheek. He kissed Spencer again, tracing his tongue along Spencer's lower lip, teasing gently, then curling his fingers into Spencer's hair and letting the kiss gain in hunger.
"You're trying to distract me," Spencer pointed out, kissing Dave again. The distraction was working on his body, even if his mind wasn't convinced, each swipe of Dave's tongue going straight through his body and to his groin.
"Mm, is it working?" Dave mumbled, sliding a hand down Spencer's back to cup his ass.
Spencer sucked in a breath, and let out a little noise. "In some ways more than others," he said, knowing he still sounded preoccupied, in spite of his body's response.
"Let's concentrate on the 'some ways', then." Dave nibbled along Spencer's jaw, sliding his hand back up under Spencer's jacket and tugging at the back of his shirt until he reached bare skin. The warmth of his hand against the small of Spencer's back sent a pleasant thrill through Spencer.
"Mmm," Spencer hummed, letting Dave's lips and teeth work over his skin. He tugged Dave toward him a little, inviting Dave to take control for once. He wanted to let Dave make him feel better.
"My beautiful Spencer," Dave murmured. He licked and sucked lightly at Spencer's throat, pulling him closer. "So wonderful," he breathed, lifting his head to kiss Spencer's mouth again. "So precious to me." His fingers stroked across Spencer's back, giving him shivers.
Spencer made another noise, one that sounded suspiciously halfway between a whimper and a sob, and he felt Dave's arm tighten on him at that. Dave was precious to him too. "I love you," he whispered. He knew he never said it enough; they weren't very comfortable words to say, and they hurt right now, thinking about that love being taken away, but they felt appropriate too.
"Let me show you," Dave murmured. "Need to get you undressed so I can worship you properly." He hummed in Spencer's ear. "With my body, I thee worship," he whispered.
"And with all my worldly good, I thee endow," Spencer continued for him, but he gave a sad laugh when Dave started to loosen his tie.
"Spencer," Dave breathed. His next kiss was both tender and hungry. Spencer wondered if Dave had thought about how those words would sound just after discussing his will, then tried to push the thought from his mind. Dave was shifting and turning them, pressing Spencer down against the couch.
God, he probably needed this. If he could just get his mind off the conversation they just had, he could let Dave remind him that they were very much still alive and together. "Take me outside," he said, before he'd really even formed the thought fully in his head, and then gave Dave a sincere look when Dave pulled back with a questioning gaze of his own.
"It's a little cool out there," Dave said. "And I do have neighbors, even if I don't see much of them." But his tone sounded more intrigued than discouraging. He kissed Spencer. "We'll need blankets."
Spencer shook his head. "Your grass is nice," he murmured, and then felt a tiny smile creep slowly across his face. It was spring, and everything outside was starting to turn green and bloom. Everything was alive.
Dave's eyebrows rose slowly. "You look good in green," he said, stroking a hand down Spencer's back. "Stay here. I'll be back with blankets."
Spence hooked a hand around Dave's waist before he got away, and met Dave's gaze. "I meant your grass is nice enough that we don't need blankets."
Dave blinked. "It's cold out there," he said, which was an exaggeration. Spencer suspected Dave just didn't want to get grass in delicate locations.
"It's not like we won't be keeping active," Spencer said, and pulled Dave in for a kiss.
"Hmm." Dave kissed him thoroughly, then pulled away and eyed him. "You always end up getting your way. When did I go soft and how did I not notice it?" he grumbled. But he stood and pulled Spencer to his feet, then gestured for him to go first.
Spencer wrapped an arm around Dave and kissed him before he moved, then tugged at Dave's tie. He pulled it off with one hand, and hooked the other into Dave's pants as he pulled them towards the door. When they got to the back door, Spencer pulled off his own jacket, and then started undressing Dave. "Don't want grass stains, though," he murmured.
"Um." Dave stared at him. "I am not walking out my back door naked," he said after a moment. "You are more than welcome to, however."
Undeterred, Spencer pushed Dave's jacket off his shoulders. "You want grass stains on your nice suit? You'll be naked out there soon enough."
"I do have neighbors," Dave repeated, but he didn't fight Spencer's getting him undressed. "God, you must have driven me crazy. I would never have done this in my wild youth, but here I am considering it. Because of you."
Spencer shook his head. "Lived through 'free love' and never got naked outside?" he asked, though he didn't need an answer. He had Dave naked from the waist up in short work and started kissing along Dave's neck and throat. "I think you need to feel the breeze on your skin at least once." Before you die. It was the natural end to that sentence, and Spencer paused when it crossed his mind, but then just went quiet and pulled his own shirt off.
"I spent the Seventies working for The Man," Dave said, his humorous tone a little forced. "Anyway, the free love was the Sixties, and I was in junior high. The most action I was getting then was spin the bottle." He shivered and tilted his head, then hooked a finger in Spencer's pants. "You'd better keep getting naked, too. God only knows what my neighbors think of me."
Spencer shrugged, then unzipped his pants, still not ready to say anything again yet. He undid his fly and pushed his pants off, toeing off his shoes and socks. A moment later, he looked back at Dave and bit his lip. He hooked his thumbs in his boxers (Dave had started buying him boxers, which he only really wore because Dave liked them--he felt like he was hanging loose in them), and pushed those off too.
Dave's eyebrows went up again and he folded his arms across his chest, openly ogling Spencer. "You know, you've come a long way from 'I'm not walking around my apartment naked'," he pointed out. His gaze was warm. "What was it you said then? Something about civilized people not walking around naked?"
"You ruined me," Spencer said, with no hint of humor, then he leaned in to kiss Dave. "And this is different."
"Ruined you, hmm?" Dave stroked his palms over Spencer's skin, making Spencer shiver. "God, you are so amazing." He kissed Spencer hungrily and lowered one hand to undo his pants. "And I am clearly crazy about you." A moment later he was skinning out of his pants.
Spencer wrapped his arms around Dave, suddenly starting to feel a little flutter in his stomach about this. Maybe they did need a blanket. Maybe they would be seen. But he pressed his hardness against Dave's and kissed him again, trying to drown the sudden nervousness in desire, in feeling alive.
Dave hummed into the kiss and stroked a hand down Spencer's back. He knew Dave aimed for his erogenous zones on purpose, but somehow knowing that never translated to being able to resist. Spencer gasped faintly into the kiss as Dave's hand swatted him lightly on the ass.
"Outside, then," Dave murmured. "And we'll hope my neighbors don't think they're supposed to be feeding my goldfish."
Spencer pulled back and smiled faintly at Dave, then snapped the waist band of his underwear before pulling away completely. He poked his head outside, glancing up at both of the neighbor's houses, and then stepped outside.
He clearly didn't need to be active, or need a blanket, as he felt his entire body go warm at being completely naked outside. He turned around and waited for Dave, tugging him close when Dave followed him out.
"That's an attractive shade on you," Dave commented. "I had no idea your back could blush. Turn around, I want to see that again."
"Shut up," Spencer said, his skin feeling like it was tingling against Dave's. They were standing out of the deck. Naked. And kissing, once Spencer leaned in for another kiss. This was not what Spencer had expected to do today, and somehow once he was out here, it was a little exciting. "Dave," he murmured, not moving, and kissed Dave again.
Dave's fingers slid through his hair as they kissed, and then he was being nudged backwards. He almost stumbled, but Dave's hands caught him and steadied him, guiding him carefully. "In the grass, you said," Dave reminded him, an almost mischievous look on his face.
Spencer's lips curled up. "Mmm, in the grass," he agreed, burying his face against Dave's neck as they moved, licking and nibbling and relishing the feel of the breeze on his skin, the way it compared with the warmth of Dave's body pressed to his.
They reached an open spot near the center of the yard that was partially hidden in the trees, and Dave guided him down. It felt weird, sitting naked in the grass, the way the the blades stroked his skin in places he'd never felt before (and never expected to feel), and Dave knelt in front of him and kissed him again, his hands sliding down Spencer's sides.
"God, you're beautiful. No wonder I do crazy things for you." Dave was grinning at him, obviously turned on by being out in the middle of his yard naked. Spencer lifted a hand to touch his face, but Dave just nipped at his fingers and kept staring. "I love the way your body looks in the sunlight."
"'A few light kisses...a few embraces...a reaching around of arms,'" Spencer whispered. "'The play of shine and shade on the trees as the supple boughs wag; the delight alone or the rush of the streets, or along the fields and hillsides; the feeling of health...the full-noon trill...the song of me rising from bed and meeting the sun.'"
Dave was still staring at him, but his gaze was appreciative. "I don't recognize it," he admitted after a moment. "But it might have been written about you. I thought you said I was your first real lover." He tried, and failed, to give Spencer a jealous glare.
Spencer smiled. "Whitman. Leaves of Grass." He ran his fingers through the grass and shrugged, giving Dave a self-deprecating grin. "Bit on the nose." He tilted his head at Dave. "'I mind how we lay in June, such a transparent summer morning; you settled you head athwart my hips and gently turned over on me, and parted the shirt from my bosom-bone, and plunged your tongue to my barestript heart.'" He lifted his brows as if that had been a suggestion.
Dave took his meaning and settled down in the grass with him, an odd expression crossing his face, presumably at the way the grass tickled. He rested his head not quite 'athwart' Spencer's hips, and trailed kisses across his ribcage. "We'll have to try this again in June, then," he murmured
"Okay," Spencer murmured, sliding his fingers into Dave's hair and watching Dave's lips moving over his skin. Dave's eyes closed as he moved, kissing Spencer softly, and Spencer found himself darting a glance up at Dave's closest neighbor's house again. "Dave," he murmured, looking back down to see Dave was watching him again.
"What is it?" Dave's expression was wonderful. Sometimes it still amazed Spencer that that look was for him. "Spencer?"
Spencer shook his head. "Nothing. You're so good to me," he whispered, stroking his fingers through Dave's hair.
Dave kissed his stomach and rested his head there, smiling up at Spencer. "I love you." He didn't wait for an answer before he wiggled around a little and licked along Spencer's hip bone.
Spencer gasped, and then dropped his head back against the grass, smiling at the heat of Dave's tongue against his cool skin, the way he was licking and sucking gently. A stronger breeze blew his hair into his face, and his grin just went wider, his fingers tighter in Dave's hair. "God, Dave. Good," he breathed, shifting a little with the pleasure Dave was starting to send through him.
Dave hummed in acknowledgment and nosed further down, fingers stroking lightly along the insides of Spencer's thighs. Spencer gasped again when Dave placed a warm, wet kiss on the tip of his cock, and then Dave's mouth was around him, working slowly but steadily.
"Oh, God," Spencer panted, biting his lip. He wondered if he should try to be quiet, and then another little thrill shot through him that he could he heard as well as seen, if anyone were inclined to look. That should not be exciting.
"Mmm." Dave pulled back slowly, his tongue teasing against Spencer's flesh. The hand on Spencer's thigh slid up further to fondle his balls as Dave took him deep again.
Spencer whimpered, and shifted up against Dave's mouth once before settling his hips in the grass again. "Dave," he moaned, opening his eyes to watch the trees sway above them. "Oh, God, we need to do this again," he said, grinning as every swipe of Dave's tongue sent new shudders of pleasure through him.
Dave just hummed again and slid his hand down further, sliding his finger to press lightly against Spencer's opening. He was sliding his tongue around Spencer's cock, alternating the speed slightly, as his finger teased.
Spencer gasped and pressed down against Dave's finger automatically, but then remembered they'd forgotten lube. Dave pulled back a moment, his grin wicked, and the breeze and absense of Dave's mouth on Spencer caused a little his. Dave spit against his finger, then replaced his mouth on Spencer's cock.
It felt hotter than it did before, and Spencer arched agaist the grass with a sharp yelp of pleasure. "God!" he gasped, and Dave was pressing against his entrance again.
Dave made a noise that was clearly amused, but there was also arousal in that noise. His finger slid inside slowly, and in the mean time Dave was sucking harder now. He persisted until Spencer couldn't hold back a whimper of pleasure, and then Dave relented a little. But only for a moment, and then he was working his tongue again.
Spencer moaned loudly, then bit his lip, glancing at the second story windows of one of Dave's neighbors houses again. His eyes fluttered shut again, imagining what they might think if they looked out to see this. Pleasure was coiling up in Spencer fast, and Dave's finger found his prostate.
Spencer cried out, and gave Dave's hair a tug. "I'm going to-- Dave-- I'm--" he tried to warn, trying to pull Dave gently off his cock.
"Mmhmm." Dave's finger pressed hard, then went back to gentle rubbing as Dave sucked again.
"N-nno, I want you--" Spencer panted. "Want you inside me." He made a high-pitched noise, his body starting to race toward completion. "God--God--pl--please."
Dave made a noise of negation, but when Spencer repeated his 'please', Dave pulled off him and lifted his head. "Spence, let me give," he protested, his finger still rubbing.
Dave wasn't letting Spencer catch his breath. "Want you," he argued breathlessly, his eyes closed and chest heaving.
For a moment Dave was silent, then he shifted back and spit in his palm. "I'll give you whatever you want," he said quietly. He was still watching Spencer, not making any move to slick himself.
"Mmm," Spencer managed, a sort of encouragement, and then tried to force his body to calm a little so he didn't come as soon as Dave entered him. "Dave, I--" His throat tightened on the words that almost came out, and he pressed his hand to his forehead, panting.
"What?" Dave asked, sliding his finger a little inside Spencer, as if Spencer needed reminding. He still didn't act like he was going to give in and fuck Spencer though.
Spencer drew a shaky breath, and bit his lip. He didn't open his eyes. He wasn't sure he could say what he was thinking and look at Dave. After a moment, he lifted a leg to shift around without kicking Dave, though it forced Dave to have to pull his finger away. He moved to his elbows and knees in front of Dave, and dropped his forehead to the grass. "Please," he whispered.
"Spencer..." Dave sounded breathless, but also confused. He stroked a tender hand over Spencer's back. "What's going on?"
"I need you," Spencer whispered, reaching back to take Dave's hand and try to tug him forward. "I won't always have... this... you like this," he managed, relieved his voice hadn't come out as strangled as it felt.
Dave made a noise and then his lips were pressed against Spencer's back. "I'm sorry," he whispered, and a moment later Spencer heard him spit again. There was a shifting behind him, then Dave slid inside slowly.
Spencer let out a low groan and pressed back to meet Dave, and then Dave stilled against him, his arm wrapping around Spencer's body from behind. Dave's lips were pressing against the back of his neck and his shoulder blade, and Spencer shivered under him, adjusting to Dave's presence.
He inhaled another shaky breath, taking in the sweet smell of the grass and slightly damp earth under him, the way he and Dave were fit together. "Dave," he whispered, and slid his hand over Dave's hand on his chest.
"I'm sorry," Dave whispered again, turning his face against Spencer's neck. For a long moment they stayed that way, Dave clinging to Spencer and buried deep inside him. Then Dave began to move slowly. He laced their fingers together and wouldn't let go.
Spencer tried to tell Dave to stop apologizing, but when Dave moved, he just moaned instead. He tightened his fingers on Dave's, and pressed back to meet Dave with each thrust, willing his mind to shut off and his body to just feel, but Dave was moving too slowly for that. "Please," he panted.
Dave obviously realized what he wanted, even if he didn't seem to know why Spencer was so desperate. He quickly picked up his rhythm until he was thrusting hard into Spencer, their fingers clenched tightly together. "Gorgeous," Dave whispered, his mouth by Spencer's ear. "Beautiful. Sexy."
"Yes," Spencer panted, closing his eyes and letting his body go loose under Dave. His fingers curled into the grass, and then Dave shifted and was hitting his prostate. Spencer moaned, and bit his lip. "Dave," he whimpered. Somewhere a sliding glass door opened and shut, but Spencer couldn't tell where or how close it was. He didn't care either. "Don't stop," he whispered quickly.
Dave made a strangled noise, but didn't stop. His fingers curled around Spencer's cock, stroking him firmly. "Quiet," he breathed in Spencer's ear.
Spencer let out a breathy laugh, not even sure why, but he pressed back to meet Dave's thrusts, biting his lip to keep from whimpering at the slide of Dave's hand. His breath was coming in short, quiet gasps.
"Close, aren't you?" Dave asked, panting as he thrust harder. "The idea that someone might come around the house and see us like this, see me buried inside you...that turns you on, doesn't it?" He bit Spencer's earlobe gently, then pulled back. "You'd like it if someone caught us."
"Gggh-- in-- theory," Spencer managed to pant. And it was weird, but somehow it was exciting, the idea of someone watching them, that someone would see how much Dave wanted him. "Yes," he moaned softly. "Close."
"If you can still answer like that, I'm doing something wrong," Dave muttered, and twisted his hand around Spencer's cock. "Think of it, someone could see how hard you get me, how beautiful you are. We could get caught, and people would realize how much I need you." His hips jacked into Spencer, driving the breath from him with the force of the thrusts.
"Hnnnhh," was all Spencer managed to get out this time, and he dropped his head to the grass, watching Dave's hand work over him. God, this was amazing, the fresh air on their skin, the dirt and grass under them, rutting against one another desperately when they could be heard or caught any moment.
Spencer felt dizzy with need, his blood pulsing in his ears, and he came hard, unable to keep from groaning as he watched his release stripe the grass with white.
"God," Dave gasped, pumping through the last of Spencer's climax. As soon as he was done, Dave's hand moved to his hips, pulling them together with more force as Dave straightened and changed the angle of his thrusts. "So fucking good, Spence," he managed, his hips slapping against Spencer's ass.
Spencer made a strangled noise, and braced himself against the onslaught, his body still humming and tingling as Dave pushed into him. Dave was muttering endearments under his breath as he moved, and then he stilled, his fingers curled tightly against Spencer's hip as he came, moaning Spencer's name.
In the silence that followed, broken only by their ragged breathing, they clearly heard the sliding glass door again. Dave started laughing and slumped against Spencer, bearing him down to the grass. "Oh, God," he murmured, wrapping his arms around Spencer and pulling him close. "I can see the police report now. 'Received domestic disturbance call, discovered two men copulating in back yard. Half the neighbors outraged, other half watching with binoculars.'"
Spencer laughed too, breathlessly, surprised that Dave was laughing, and shifted under Dave to a more comfortable position. He wrapped his arm around Dave and kissed his throat, hooking a leg with Dave's. "God," he breathed, still breathing hard against Dave's skin.
"Nnh." Dave stroked a hand lazily over Spencer's skin. "You're incredible."
Spencer settled under Dave's gentle caresses, closing his eyes and just feeling this moment, the sounds around them, the smells. God. "Thank you," he murmured after a long pause, snuggling closer to Dave as the wind whipped past them a little stronger.
Dave's breathing slowed and he pressed a kiss to Spencer's hair. "Mmm, don't really want to move, but frankly my ass is getting cold," he muttered after a moment.
Spencer laughed softly and slid his hand down Dave's back to cup his ass. "Better?"
Dave laughed and kissed him. "Smart alec," he muttered. "God. We really are lying naked in my back yard after having sex, aren't we?"
"Mm-hmm," Spencer said, kissing Dave again.
"Maybe it's time to go inside," Dave said.
Spencer groaned dramatically. "You're so predictable."
"What, you want us to stay out here? We can stay out here." Dave didn't sound certain about it, but he sounded like he would do it just to prove something.
Spencer decided to take pity on him. That, and it was getting a little cool. Maybe next time, they should bring blankets, and then they could wrap up and stay outside longer. "Okay," he whispered, lifting up on his elbow to look at Dave. "Let's go inside." He kissed Dave slowly, and then stood. There was grass sticking to him in places it really shouldn't be, but he just laughed softly and tugged Dave up.
Oddly, it felt weird again once he was standing, though, as if they'd been more hidden on the ground, and he pulled Dave close and led them inside again.
Once they were back in the house, Dave dragged Spencer naked to the bathroom and gave him five minutes to clean up. When Spencer came back out to the den, Dave had blankets on the sofa and two glasses of scotch. He gave Spencer an inviting look.
"I'm allowed to drink it now?" Spencer murmured. He hadn't bothered dressing, so he curled up against Dave's side and pulled the blanket over him.
"Mmm," was Dave's only response. He wrapped his arms around Spencer and kissed him slowly.
Spencer hummed happily into the kiss, settling closer, then whispered, "Thank you," again, because Dave hadn't acknowledged it last time.
"You're welcome," Dave replied, stroking his fingers over Spencer's skin. He leaned his head against Spencer's, breathing deeply.
Spencer made a contented noise and took a drink of his scotch. "Can we never talk about that again?" He put his glass down and stroked Dave's side. "Not the sex, the other stuff."
Dave sighed, but he didn't sound unhappy. "I can't promise, but I certainly hope not." He tightened his hold on Spencer, then kissed him again. "After all, I know you'll never forget."
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Date: 2009-03-20 01:56 am (UTC)Very hot, very tender great stuff thanks for writeing.
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Date: 2009-03-20 02:03 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-03-20 03:23 am (UTC)The one hundredth time, it's annoying.
I love seeing how Spencer and Dave have shaped each other so they fit a little more perfectly each time you write.
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Date: 2009-03-21 03:23 am (UTC)I'm glad you're enjoying this series!
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Date: 2009-03-22 11:47 am (UTC)I'm glad you're enjoying this. It's been fun to write them evolving as a couple.
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Date: 2009-03-20 04:36 am (UTC)This was possibly the most intensely romantic thing I ever imagine David Rossi saying. And the sex was very, very hot and desperate and so realistic, because a reminder of mortality makes us all need to feel the present, really feel it.
You two, I have never been much of a Reid/Rossi fan but you are, again, expanding my horizons.
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Date: 2009-03-21 02:55 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-03-22 11:50 am (UTC)Thank you!
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Date: 2009-03-20 11:33 am (UTC)I'm really liking this series. ^_^
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Date: 2009-03-21 02:53 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-03-22 11:50 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-03-20 03:25 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-03-21 02:52 am (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2009-03-20 06:45 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-03-21 02:51 am (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2009-03-21 12:20 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-03-21 02:33 am (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2009-03-21 03:24 am (UTC)I've been toying with a similar scene for a Rossi/Reid fic, but Reid kind of flipped out and disconnected so I shelved it for another day. Your take was lovely!
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Date: 2009-03-22 12:16 pm (UTC)Thanks!
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Date: 2009-03-21 11:48 am (UTC)I adore how you write them.
You always send me to the happy/sad place with these lovely chapters of their lives.
And the fact is love between Dave and Spencer is always going to have a fleeting and precious quality to it because of the difference in their ages.
Although really there should be no logic to that because no one ever knows for sure, how short or long a time they have. And somehow they seem quite evenly matched to me, dispite the age differences Rossi is all robust and Italian and Reid kind of fine boned and a little bit sickly.
Unlike the show, I really adore the way these stories are all about Reid learning how to feel, in a positive way. I know how tempting it is to torment Spencer, he is very pretty with the sexy wounds whether they be physical or mental, but he is just beyond gorgeous when he's happy and I love that this is the way you write him.
And Dave is a delight, how he knows Spencer is the absolute love of his life and isn't afraid to show it.
And finally any story that ruins Spencer with too much sex is right up there in my book.
So thank you both.
And now the pleasantries are done with there had better be some more of this good stuff soon, that's all I'm sayin!!!!
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Date: 2009-03-22 12:21 pm (UTC)I admit, I do like to torture him a little too, but I think sometimes the show just takes it to a level it really doesn't need to be at. It's too much sometimes, which is why I still don't really know how I feel about The Instincts/Memoriam, in spite of absolutely ADORING Jane Lynch/Diana Reid.
And finally any story that ruins Spencer with too much sex is right up there in my book.
I love making him more and more confident
and more and more kinky.I'm glad you're liking this! Thanks!
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Date: 2009-03-21 06:57 pm (UTC)FULL. OF. WIN. ♥
This was beautiful and painful and hot and wonderful, and I loved it a whole, whole lot. XD
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Date: 2009-03-22 12:23 pm (UTC)Thank you! I'm glad you liked it!
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Date: 2009-03-22 05:25 am (UTC)I hate it when reality interferes with my enjoyment of good fiction.
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Date: 2009-03-22 12:24 pm (UTC)*sigh* Oh well. It IS fiction, you know. We can bend reality if we want. I hope you enjoyed on some level at least.
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Date: 2009-03-24 10:17 am (UTC)My favorite series, a new part, Reid/Rossi - can I be happier? Loved it!
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Date: 2009-03-24 11:40 pm (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2009-03-25 12:17 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-03-25 03:51 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-04-04 07:06 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-04-04 11:44 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-04-08 01:20 am (UTC)Lots of stuff going through my head, but I'm tempted to resort to "What they said," because all the comments above pretty much cover the waterfront. As always, I am swept away by your characters, the dialogue, the plot-what-plot smuttiness of the sex (but with a plot--if that makes sense).
More.
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Date: 2009-04-08 02:01 am (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2009-07-20 01:32 am (UTC)ROTFL. Typical Rossi, kind of reminds of the comment he made regarding Reid, in Soulmates. Cute, one of my favorite lines from the ep and also, *refers to italicized quote* one of my favorite lines from this particular installment of the 'verse. *g*
More and more, I find myself falling in love with these two, only the way that you guys write them. I swear, nobody else except you guys are allowed to write Rossi, because out of everything that I've read so far regarding him w/other BAU members of the team - you guys are the best at getting him right and in character, pretty much. :)
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Date: 2009-07-20 02:08 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-01-18 04:45 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-01-18 12:42 pm (UTC)(no subject)
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