geekystudmuffin | Love Like a Fever, 2/2, Hotch/Reid, NC-17

severity-softly.livejournal.com posting in

Title: Love Like a Fever, 2/2
Authors:

severity_softly
Pairing: Hotch/Reid
Rating: NC-17
Word count: ~13,500
Summary: When Aaron takes his annual leave to spend time with Jack, he winds up needing Spencer to help him through a hard time. After the scare is over, Aaron and Spencer find themselves closer than before.
Notes: This started off as an idea to write

slash_girl a short little fic to say thanks (she knows why). But then our muses ran away with it and it wound up not being so short. Anyway, thank you, Stacy. We hope you enjoy it.

PART ONE

Spencer went to bed early the next two nights, trying to catch up on the sleep he'd missed while he was staying at the hospital with Aaron. He hadn't minded doing it, but it had been disappointing when Aaron told him he was a good friend. He couldn't help wanting to be more than that. And when Aaron had hugged him, he'd thought maybe...just maybe...Aaron wanted that, too. Spencer could still remember how solid and strong Aaron had felt, holding on to him, even though he'd been vulnerable with Spencer.

He shook himself and stared at the refrigerated case he was standing in front of. It didn't matter whether it was friendship or more, Aaron had been as good as his word and called Spencer on Tuesday to invite him over for dinner Friday night. "I owe you a meal," he'd said, "and this one will be home-cooked." He'd offered steaks on the grill, and Spencer had promptly accepted.

Now he just had to find a good wine.

He didn't know much about wine. He mostly just liked the sweeter ones, but he somehow didn't think that was what was supposed to go with steaks. Eventually, he asked the guy behind the counter and left with a bottle of Baco noir, hoping he wouldn't hate it.

When he rang the bell, he heard pounding footsteps, and then Jack's voice hollered, "Who is it?!"

"Spencer," he called back, and Jack shrieked. The doorknob jiggled like Jack was trying to unlock it. A moment later the door opened and Aaron was standing there with Jack in one arm and a smile on his face.

"Hi," he said, and then Jack squirmed out of his arms.

"Hi, Spesser!" he hollered, and threw his arms around Spencer's knees.

Spencer's eyes went wide as he stared down at the little boy. "Ah... hi," he said. For a little kid, his grip was strong. Spencer wondered how he was supposed to walk.

"Hiiiiiiii!" Jack said again, beaming up at him.

"Ah... hi," Spencer repeated.

Jack giggled and squeezed tighter. "HIIIII!"

Aaron laughed. "Okay, Jacks, let him go so we can go inside." He gave Spencer a warm look that made Spencer suck in a breath. Maybe Spencer had misread what Aaron said earlier...

Then Aaron looked down, breaking their eye contact.

Jack let go and ran off towards the kitchen. "I get barbecued chicken!" he announced. "And ice cream with sprinkles!"

Spencer pressed his lips together. "He's feeling better," he pointed out.

"He's feeling much better," Aaron said, smiling, "though oddly enough, I'm not feeling any less tired than I did last time I saw you." He touched Spencer's back briefly as he guided him back to the kitchen. "But I'm glad you're here."

Spencer fought the impulse to lean into Aaron's touch, but he also couldn't make himself pull away like he probably should. "I hope you don't need help, because I've never cooked a steak."

"No help, just company," Aaron said. "I'll do my best to keep Jack from pulling you off to his sandbox." He smiled briefly at Spencer. He seemed more relaxed than Spencer could recall seeing him in a long time. Spencer held out the wine, which Aaron put in the refrigerator. "Good choice," he said, and pointed Spencer towards the back door. Aaron followed him with the steaks.

"Jack, remember what I told you about the grill?" Aaron said before opening the door.

"It's hot, so I can't touch it."

"Exactly. You go play on the swing-set while Daddy and Spencer talk, okay?"

"Will Spesser push me?"

Aaron glanced over at Spencer. "Maybe in a little while."

"Okay!" Jack ran off to the swing-set.

Spencer was staring at Jack as he ran away, wondering if he was in over his head. "Is he always this..." He made a vague gesture. "Active?"

"Usually, yes," Aaron said, smiling. "Though I think he's a little over-excited because you're here. He's pretty fond of you."

Spencer made a face. "He barely knows me," Spencer protested.

Aaron shrugged and started working on the steaks. "You were there when he needed you. What little amount of sleep I got at Children's was thanks to you keeping him entertained. Besides, he really liked your stories."

"They were just memorized," Spencer said. In truth, Jack scared Spencer in the hospital, and the kid was a little scarier now that he was running around and shouting.

"He didn't know that," Aaron said, smiling at him. "I think you're going to be 'Uncle Spesser' before you know it." He nudged Spencer's shoulder. "It's good practice for Henry."

"Oh God," Spencer muttered. He collapsed in a chair on the deck and looked at Aaron. He did like the idea of spending enough time with Aaron that Jack would know him, though. "I'm not sure what JJ was thinking."

"She was thinking that you're a very fine man with an incredible amount of intelligence, and you would without question adore her son. And she was thinking that any parenting skill you might need, if the unthinkable happened, you would learn easily." Aaron smiled and closed the grill, sitting in the chair next to Spencer's. "I believe firmly that our children teach us how to be parents, regardless of all the fine theories we have before they're born." He looked out at where his son was swinging his heart out. "The only rule I've stuck to, of the many I had, was that I would never raise a hand to my son. Haley always spanked him if it was needed. Not me."

Spencer had opened his mouth to say something, then stopped and frowned as Aaron finished. "That seems like a pretty big thing to disagree on," he said. As soon as the words were out, he pressed his lips together and looked down. "Sorry. It's not really my place..."

Aaron shook his head. "It's fine, Spencer. But that wasn't exactly what I meant. I just..." He cleared his throat and looked at Jack again. "I was always afraid I wouldn't know when to stop, or how hard was too hard. I don't necessarily disagree with spanking, though I do prefer denying privileges or reasoning with him or using time outs. It was more that I doubted myself than anything else."

Spencer stared at him for a long moment, then just said, "You're a good man."

Aaron looked over at him, smiling. "Thank you for coming to dinner tonight," he said. It didn't seem to have anything to do with the conversation at hand, but Spencer shrugged. Aaron had opened his mouth to say something, but Jack interrupted by shrieking.

"Spesser! Come push me!"

Spencer looked over at Aaron, but when he did, Aaron was grinning at him expectantly.

"I've never pushed a kid on a swing before. What if he falls?" Spencer said, giving Aaron a serious look.

Aaron's grin widened. "Tell him to hang on tight. He won't fall."

"I think you might be underestimating centripetal force and overestimating the how strong a toddler is," Spencer argued.

"Just don't push him too hard. He's doing all right now, isn't he?" Aaron laughed and patted his shoulder. "Go on."

Spencer stared at him for a moment, and then Jack yelled, "SPESSSSSSSERRRRRRRRR!"

Spencer sighed, and walked over to the swing-set, trying to avoid Jack swinging into him in various sensitive places. "You know there's an N in my name, right?" he said.

"SPESSERRR!" Jack hollered again, and giggled. Spencer could hear Aaron laughing, though, which made this all worth it. "Push me to the SKY!" Jack ordered.

"Ah, do you know what gravity is?" Spencer asked, and bent to push Jack lightly.

Jack gave a high-pitched laugh. "Yes, silly, you put it on your smashed 'tatoes!"

Spencer blinked. And then he realized what Jack was saying and laughed. "That wasn't exactly what I meant," Spencer said, pushing Jack again.

"Higher! So I can fly!" Jack shouted.

"Jack! No jumping from the swings, remember?" Aaron called from the deck.

Spencer immediately stopped pushing and looked back to glare at Aaron. No jumping?! Was this normally a problem?

Aaron flapped his hand for Spencer to continue, just as Jack hollered, "Yes, Daddy!"

Spencer glared a few second longer, then started to push again. "Gravity is the net force exerted by the earth on objects near it. It's, ah, so big that it attracts..." He trailed off, realizing Jack wouldn't understand, then tried to think of a way to explain it. He finally sighed and said, "What comes up has to come down, which means if I push you to the sky, you'd fall back down and hurt yourself."

"I could grow wings!" Jack said. "And turn into a purple bird and fly forever!" He twisted around to look at Spencer, and that skewed the arc of the swing so Jack nearly ran into the swing-set pole.

Spencer jumped toward him, but Jack turned back then, and the course of the swing changed again. When it swung back, Spencer jumped to the side, but didn't move fast enough and wound up with Jack flying into his gut. He groaned, just barely managed to keep Jack from falling, and then sort of collapsed into a seated position next to the swing.

Jack wasn't swinging any more after their collision, but he was giggling at Spencer, and Spencer lifted a hand in surrender. "I'm done."

Jack squealed and climbed on his lap, then gave him a sloppy kiss on the cheek. Spencer heard laughter, and then Jack's weight was being lifted off of him, thankfully. Aaron put an arm around Jack's waist and held him upside down.

"Is this kid bothering you?" he asked, his voice teasing, as Jack shrieked with laughter.

"I think I was just assaulted," Spencer joked back, but his ribs actually were a little sore, so he wasn't smiling. Aaron's hand entered his field of vision, though, and Spencer looked up to see he was offering a hand up. He couldn't help but smile then. "Thanks," he murmured, and took Aaron's hand.

"Don't need to rush you to urgent care, do I?" Aaron asked, pulling him to his feet. He was smiling warmly at Spencer. "Our steaks are almost done. I thought maybe I could get you to open the wine for me, and I'll take care of this one." He bounced his son, who giggled some more.

"Daddy, I cad't breede!" he gasped, still giggling.

Aaron laughed and turned him right-side-up.

Spencer gave Aaron a grateful look and headed back towards the kitchen door. Aaron called after him a moment later to tell him where the corkscrew was, and Spencer opened the bottle. He found glasses after a moment, and brought the bottle back out with two glasses.

"I want some juice too!" Jack exclaimed.

"This is juice for old people," Aaron explained. "But we have juice for you in the fridge." He set the food out on the table and lifted his son to inspect his hands. "Better go wash our hands before we eat," he said, and carried him into the kitchen. When they came back, Aaron was carrying Jack, who was carrying a tumbler of grape juice.

"I want to sit by Spencer!" Jack announced, making Spencer cringe.

"Why don't you sit by me instead?" Aaron said. "Spencer might not know just how you like your food cut up."

Jack made an unhappy noise, but didn't complain when Aaron set him on the bench next to him.

The meal went well; Jack didn't throw his food or anything, which Spencer had been afraid of. Spencer wasn't really drinking much these days, though, so by the time he got to his second drink, he could feel that his cheeks were flushed.

When they were done eating, Spencer helped Aaron clean up until Jack started shouting about some movie and left the room. Spencer heard the noises of things being pulled off shelves a moment later. Aaron was elbow-deep in sudsy water, so Spencer went into the other room to find Jack raking DVDs onto the floor.

"Daddy said I can stay up late!" Jack told him. "We should watch Beauty and the Beast!" He held up his DVD and bounced in place.

Spencer stared at him. "Daddy said you could stay up late?" he asked, loud enough for Aaron to hear and respond. God, he hoped Aaron hadn't really said that.

"I said we could watch a movie after supper," Aaron said. "Jack, are you picking a movie for us?" He came out of the kitchen drying his hands on a dish towel and gave Spencer an apologetic look. "He was very excited that you were coming," he explained.

"Heh," Spencer replied, and Jack was running over to Aaron with the DVD.

"Put it on! I want Spencer to see the candle with arms!" he exclaimed, and Aaron smiled and took it.

"I hope you don't mind," he murmured. "He'll fall asleep before it's over; he's been going full speed all day." He put the DVD in. "Okay, Jacks, you sit down, and I'll be right back." He went into the kitchen and Jack grabbed Spencer's hand and tugged him towards the couch.

Spencer sat, and Jack sort of smooshed him into the corner of the couch. Spencer just obeyed and let Jack stretch out on the entire length of the couch, one arm and one leg hanging off the edge. He was singing along with Belle from the moment she came on screen. Badly. But Spencer figured he shouldn't point that out.

Aaron rejoined them halfway through the first song with two full glasses of wine. Spencer should have refused, but he was feeling nice and warm. If they were alone, Spencer knew he'd be in danger of touching Aaron too much, but a "singing" child didn't really make him feel all that amorous.

Aaron stopped. "There's no room for me," he complained, holding out a glass to Spencer. It was nice to hear him say that, since there was an empty recliner. But Jack jumped up and pushed Aaron over to the couch.

"You sit by Spesser," he ordered. "And shh, I want to hear it!"

Spencer's heart jumped as Aaron obediently sank onto the couch next to him. Jack climbed back up and put his head in Aaron's lap, then stretched out and shoved Aaron closer to Spencer. Aaron jostled Spencer's shoulder, then laughed.

"Sorry, apparently we're crowding him."

Spencer laughed, but his entire body went hot. He knew his cheeks were hot too, but he hoped Aaron just thought it was the wine if he noticed. Spencer curled the hand closest to Aaron in his own lap to keep from touching Aaron, but that did nothing to help the way Aaron's entire thigh was pressed to him.

"Shh, I want to hear it!" Jack repeated. Aaron pressed his lips together, but when he glanced at Spencer there was amusement in his expression. His cheeks looked red too. They sat that way through some sort of invention gone awry, and then there was another song. Aaron finally said, "Jack, you're crowding us an awful lot here." Jack made a whiny noise and kicked his foot against the arm of the couch.

Aaron sighed and glanced at Spencer. "Sorry about that," he murmured, and then shifted. Spencer could tell he was probably uncomfortable; Spencer felt cramped from trying to stay out of Aaron's way. Finally Aaron sighed. "Look, don't, um, if it bothers you, I can try moving him, but..." He trailed off and slid his arm slowly around Spencer's shoulders.

Spencer felt a little thrill go through his entire body, and he sucked in a breath. "No, it's fine," he said, but it came out sounding a little strange. He felt like he couldn't breathe, and he found himself alternately cursing Jack and thanking him. After a moment, he realized Aaron was still watching him, so he nodded and managed a smile, and then relaxed as much as he could without sliding his hand on top of Aaron's leg.

Aaron nodded back and seemed to relax too. Jack giggled and sang along with the movie, but when the wolves showed up and started chasing Belle, he whimpered and climbed up into Aaron's lap, then squirmed until he was half on Aaron's lap and half on Spencer's. Aaron tried to take advantage of that to shift away, but Jack whimpered some more, and Spencer touched Aaron's arm and shook his head.

At some point, Jack fell asleep, and eventually Aaron paused the movie and took him upstairs to bed. When he came back down, he looked anxious.

Spencer wasn't really sure what to say. He wanted Aaron close again, but he was afraid to even try to suggest it. Instead, he blurted, "Children scare me."

Aaron's anxious look melted into a smile. "He likes you. Adores you, actually. You're good with him." He settled onto the couch, not as close as he had been, but still closer than Spencer had expected. "There's a little bit of wine left." He took a sip of his own.

Spencer nodded, and realized he was watching the wine against Aaron's lips. He shifted to face Aaron a little better, and their knees touched. Spencer decided not to pull away, given how close Aaron had sat and how close they'd been moments ago. "Is it in the fridge?"

Aaron nodded and he touched Spencer's knee. "I can get it," he offered, but Spencer shook his head and went himself. When he came back, he split the wine between their two glasses, then settled back down on the couch. He let their knees touch again, and this time he saw Aaron's tongue flicker out to wet his lips.

"I've enjoyed this," Aaron said quietly. His gaze was intent on Spencer's face.

"Me too," Spencer said, breathier than he'd meant it. "Only next time we should eat something that goes with sweeter wine," he added, smiling softly at Aaron. He wondered if Aaron was feeling the same way he was right now, if he would let Spencer kiss him.

It must have been the wine, because Spencer reached out and curled his fingers around Aaron's hand before he'd realized he'd done it.

Aaron looked down at their hands, but instead of pulling away, he closed his fingers on Spencer's. "Maybe...as much as Jack likes you..." he began, looking back up at Spencer. "Maybe we should have dinner without him sometime." His voice was tentative, his gaze not leaving Spencer's face.

That lightheaded feeling of not being able to breath was back, and Spencer drew a slow deliberate breathe. God, if he was wrong about this, he was going to be so embarrassed... but Aaron was suggesting another dinner together and holding Spencer's hand. Spencer darted a glance up the stairs towards Jack's room, then took Aaron's wine and put it on the coffee table with his own.

Aaron looked... not confused, but apprehensive. It's because of work, Spencer realized after a moment. He hesitated, and then decided 'screw it'. Aaron wouldn't make the first move even if he wanted to, because he was Spencer's boss, so Spencer leaned in first to press his lips to Aaron's, cupping Aaron's jaw.

Aaron made a quiet noise, his fingers tightening on Spencer's. Then Spencer felt Aaron's other hand in his hair as Aaron parted his lips against Spencer's, inviting more. Aaron shifted closer as Spencer took the invitation, their tongues sliding along each other. Aaron's flickered teasingly against the roof of Spencer's mouth, and then Aaron let out another low noise that sent a shiver through Spencer.

He let go of Aaron's hand and slid his own around Aaron's waist, shifting closer still until he was leaning against Aaron without actually climbing on top of him. This was amazing and unbelievable. It couldn't actually be happening after wanting Aaron like he had for so long. "God," he whispered against Aaron's lips when they broke apart, then he just hummed a wanting noise and kissed Aaron again.

Aaron wrapped his free arm around Spencer, holding him close. "Spencer," he murmured, brushing his nose against Spencer's cheek. "Is this all right? I don't...want to take advantage...but I...am I wrong?" His fingers were running through Spencer's hair.

Spencer smiled against Aaron's skin. "I kissed you," he reminded him. "You're not wrong." He slid a hand under the back of Aaron's shirt--God, he loved it when Aaron wore casual clothes--and maybe it was too fast, but Spencer wanted to touch.

"You're just...there," Aaron whispered. "Whenever I need you, you're always there." His arms tightened around Spencer. "Spencer." He kissed Spencer again, his lips no longer tentative but still tender.

"You needed someone who would be," Spencer murmured, breaking the kiss, then he laughed. "I just always thought it was Dave, no matter how hard I was trying." Aaron wasn't protesting, so Spencer slid his hand higher up Aaron's back, and pushed until Aaron was against the arm rest and he was half on top of Aaron. "Mmm." He kissed Aaron again with more hunger.

Aaron made a hungry noise into the kiss, arching up against him and burying his fingers in Spencer's hair. "Dave's a good friend," Aaron murmured. "But he has a thing for Prentiss." He smiled and pulled Spencer down for another kiss. "You're so wonderful, Spencer."

Spencer couldn't help but laugh against Aaron's lips. After a moment, though, the though of Dave and Emily passed and his stomach flipped at what he wanted to ask. He made himself say it anyway. "Take me to bed, Aaron," he whispered.
"Mmm." Aaron kissed him, then pulled back to look into his eyes. "Spencer, I don't know if we should just jump into bed...I probably don't have any condoms in the house, and..." His gaze flickered down, then back up. "I've only ever been with Haley," he murmured. "I don't know..."

Spencer kissed Aaron again, a slow, teasing kiss, then whispered, "I'm clean. So are you." His fingers slid into Aaron's hair and made circles against his scalp.

"You trust me that much?" Aaron's gaze was surprised, but he smiled slowly. "Jack doesn't know about us," he said, but Spencer could feel the way Aaron was relaxing against him. Aaron laughed. "Since we didn't know about us."

Spencer smiled. "Jack likes me," he said. "And I do trust you with my life, which means that I trust you wouldn't have sex with me if you thought there was any way you weren't clean." Spencer swallowed hard, then bit his lip and looked down. "I got tested... about eight months after Tobias." He hoped Aaron knew he was talking about needles, not sex; he didn't want to have to explain.
Aaron tensed, then cupped Spencer's chin, lifting his face to meet Aaron's gaze. "I trust you, Spencer," he murmured. "I don't ever want you to be ashamed with me." He kissed Spencer slowly, with assurance.

Spencer kissed Aaron back, relaxing again. He scraped his teeth gently over Aaron's lower lip. "Take me to bed," he whispered again.
After a moment, Aaron nodded and pushed Spencer away gently so they could stand. He took Spencer's hand and led him wordlessly towards the stairs. When they got to Aaron's bedroom, he shut the door carefully, then pushed Spencer against the wall, kissing him hungrily.

Oh, God, Spencer thought. He was about to have sex with Aaron Hotchner. Aaron was pressing against him, and it sent a thrill through Spencer's entire body.

"You're so handsome," Aaron murmured, trailing kisses along his cheek and down his neck. "Spencer." His hand was in Spencer's hair, and the other cradled Spencer's hip, holding them close.

Spencer laughed softly, though it made him feel amazing to hear Aaron say that. "You're calling me handsome?" he asked, smiling at Aaron. "I've wanted you so long," he added, and pushed up at Aaron's shirt.

He felt Aaron shiver against him, and then Aaron was kissing him again. "Tell me what you want," he whispered when the kiss broke. He helped Spencer get his shirt off, then kissed Spencer's throat, his fingers undoing Spencer's tie.

Spencer couldn't answer for a moment. He was preoccupied with running his hands over Aaron's bare chest, his fingers feeling like they were tingling with electricity. He wanted everything, to taste, and suck, and slide into Aaron, or let Aaron take him, but he knew they'd have time for everything later. Aaron hadn't done this before. "What do you want?" he countered as he tilted his chin, offering more of his neck as Aaron threw his tie to the floor and bit the jut of his Adam's apple.

"I..." Aaron hesitated, though his lips were still against Spencer's skin. "I'm not..." Then he took a quick breath and kissed the corner of Spencer's jaw. "I want you to have me," he murmured, his voice almost diffident.

A thrill of excitement rushed through Spencer, followed immediately by concern. He pulled back and looked at Aaron. "You don't have to. I'm fine either way."

Aaron's fingers stroked over his jaw. "If you don't want that--"

"No, I do," Spencer said quickly, then leaned in and kissed Aaron, sliding a hand down over the curve of Aaron's ass. "God, I do. But... you've never..."

"I haven't, so I don't know what I'm doing," Aaron said quietly. His gaze met Spencer's again and he smiled faintly. "And I like how much you want me."

Spencer smiled. "And you were trying to tell me we shouldn't go to bed together tonight," he whispered, and kissed Aaron again, his hands squeezing a little. God, he was allowed to do that. Aaron groaned and pulled open the top few buttons of Spencer's shirt before tugging it over his head.

"We shouldn't," Aaron said weakly, but he pulled Spencer close again, his hands roaming over Spencer's back. "When did you get taller than me?" he whispered, sliding his fingers into Spencer's hair and pulling him down for a kiss.

Spencer shrugged as they kissed, then breathed, "I haven't been paying attention." His lips curled. "I kind of like it, though."

Aaron smiled slowly and kissed him again. "Let's go to bed," he murmured, stroking one hand down into the front of Spencer's pants, his fingers curling in the waistband.

Spencer sucked in a breath as the thrill of Aaron's fingers slipping inside his pants raced through him. "Yeah," he said absently, then shook himself mentally and said it again with a bit more normalcy in his voice. He curled his fingers at Aaron's hips and started to nudge him bad towards the bed.

Aaron complied with alacrity, pulling Spencer with him by the belt. "I've wanted you for so long," he murmured. "I was confused at first, I didn't know what to do with it." He paused at the edge of the bed and gave Spencer a lingering kiss. "Finally I decided all I could do was try to be your friend...and hope for more." He looked at Spencer, his dark eyes intent.

"That sounds pretty familiar, actually," Spencer whispered, his fingers pulling open Aaron's pants. His eyes raked Aaron's body for a moment, taking in the slender, angular frame, the hint of hair that was getting exposed at the top of his boxers. Spencer made a hungry noise, and pressed a trail of wet kisses over Aaron's neck.

Aaron's breathing hitched and he unfastened Spencer's belt and started working at his pants. "God, Spencer," he gasped, arching his neck.

Spencer scraped his teeth over Aaron's skin, loving the way Aaron responded. he hadn't expected Aaron's usual work demeanor, but it was exciting to get to see him like this, giving into what he wanted instead of what he should want.

Spencer toed out of his shoes and kicked out of his pants and underwear when Aaron pushed them down, then pushed Aaron's down as well.

Aaron stared at him, his gaze running down Spencer's chest to pause at his groin. Spencer could feel himself go warm, but Aaron licked his lips, his expression heating. He pulled Spencer close, pressing their bodies together and kissing him. One of Aaron's hands slid down to cup Spencer's ass as they kissed.

Spencer couldn't help the little moan that escaped his lips. They weren't doing much, but he couldn't believe how good it felt, the length of Aaron's body against him. He guided Aaron back until they were climbing onto the bed, and Spencer stroked his hand up Aaron's side to tease at a nipple.

Aaron scooted up the bed, his gaze on Spencer's. There was so much desire and trust in his expression. It seemed amazing that Aaron Hotchner could think so highly of him. "Feels so good," Aaron murmured, his hands running over Spencer's body.

Spencer lowered his head to lick along Aaron's collar bone, then slid further down to lave his tongue against Aaron's nipple. Aaron sucked in a breath, pressing up against Spencer's mouth, then Spencer reached down and curled his fingers around Aaron's cock.

"Oh, God," Aaron breathed, his hips straining up into Spencer's touch. "Oh, touch me, Spencer," he said, his hands burying themselves in Spencer's hair. He ran his fingers down to Spencer's shoulders and back. "Yes, please."

"You do... have some type of lubrication, right?" Spencer whispered, then licked a little shape around Aaron's navel.

Aaron gasped, then made a noise that almost sounded embarrassed. "I...uh..."

Spencer's eyebrows went up, and he lifted his head to look at Aaron. "Aaron..."

Aaron's face was red. He glanced away and licked his lips, but didn't answer.

Spencer sighed and crawled up the bed. He turned Aaron's face towards him and kissed him. "I don't want to hurt you."

"I...there's lotion I use...if I...when I really need to." Aaron kissed him back, but he still wasn't quite meeting Spencer's gaze.

Spencer frowned, watching Aaron. "Lotion doesn't exactly stay slick very long," he said. He started sprinkling kisses across Aaron's jaw and cheek, wanting him to relax. This wasn't really something Spencer had expected Aaron to be nervous about, given the situation. "You could have me," he suggested. "You won't hurt me."

"Is there something wrong with what I asked for?" Aaron asked, and there was a new edge to his tone, one that Spencer wasn't sure how to interpret.

"No," Spencer said, frowning more deeply. "I just... want it to be good." He managed a small smile, then said, "I'd like to be allowed to do it more than once, so I don't want to do anything wrong the first time."

"Then have me," Aaron said, his gaze intent on Spencer's. "I know what I want, Spencer. Stop trying to talk me out of it." He glanced away, then locked his eyes on Spencer's again, his voice growing more impassioned though he never raised his volume. "I--I know I'm a lonely man with little real experience as far as sex goes. I've only ever had one lover and that was my wife. But I'm tired of living my life in yesterday, and I want you to have me now."

Spencer stared at Aaron for a moment. He opened his mouth, and then closed it again. He'd just wanted to make sure it was a good as it could be for Aaron, to make Aaron's first time like this, which could be a little uncomfortable, as easy as possible. He hadn't meant to upset Aaron.

"Okay," he whispered, nodding, and he slid back down the bed to kiss along Aaron's ribcage.

Aaron was breathing hard, but he didn't immediately respond to Spencer. When he did, he slid his fingers into Spencer's hair. "I'm sorry," he murmured after a moment.

Spencer expelled a breath and pressed his forehead to Aaron's skin. "It's just not always easy... if you haven't..." Spencer shook his head. "I just wanted it to be perfect."

Aaron let out a laugh that sounded like it hurt him. "Don't, please," he murmured. His fingers stroked Spencer's hair tenderly. "I spent years trying to be perfect for Haley. You can't. It isn't possible." He curled his hand under Spencer's chin and lifted it to catch his gaze.

Aaron was smiling. "I don't want perfection, Spencer. I just want to be with you. I want to have a first time with you, and a second time, and a third, and..." His voice had gentled, the edge melting away. "I want us to be together."

Spencer still wasn't entirely comfortable with fucking Aaron without lubrication, but he held in the thought that Aaron might not want a second time if Spencer hurt him this time. This was what Aaron wanted, and Spencer had to admit he felt a little more relaxed now than he had a moment ago.

He nodded slowly. "I think spit will be just as good as lotion, if not better," he murmured, then shifted a little to kiss Aaron's abdomen and nuzzle at the crease of his thigh.

Aaron stroked his hands through Spencer's hair again. "Whatever you say," he said quietly. He slid his hand under Spencer's chin again. "I want you to kiss me," he murmured. "Spencer."

Spencer let Aaron tilt his chin up, but he didn't move. He just smiled. "You'd rather me kiss you than suck your cock?" he asked.

Aaron's lips quirked. "You make that sound unnatural," he said, and then laughed. "All right, maybe it is. But yes."

"I would like to taste you," Spencer protested, but he was climbing back up to kiss Aaron again anyway. He hummed happily as Aaron's tongue slid over his, and Aaron's fingers slid into his hair. Aaron seemed to like stroking his hair, and Spencer wasn't about to complain.

"Mmm." One of Aaron's arms wrapped around Spencer's waist, holding them together. "You're so handsome," Aaron whispered. "So kind." He kissed Spencer slowly. "You make me feel good."

Spencer smiled. "You don't have to tell me that," he murmured, his hands roaming Aaron's body. "Aaron, I want you."

A quiet noise escaped Aaron's lips and he arched up against Spencer. "Yes."

Spencer's smile widened, and he slipped away again. This time his spit against his fingers quickly and pressed an open mouthed kiss against the head of Aaron's cock before Aaron could try to pull him back up again.

Aaron gasped, his fingers tightening in Spencer's hair. "God," he murmured. "Mnnh, you don't have to...Oh, yes..." He trailed off, breathing hard as Spencer's tongue swirled around him. "Ohhh."

Spencer tried not to grin, but he knew his eyes were smiling as he looked up at Aaron. God, that was a nice reaction. Spencer had to wonder if Haley hadn't done this often, then decided she must not have and let himself feel a little smug. He pulled back just enough to whisper, "You taste good," his breath ghosting over Aaron's prick, and then he slid Aaron's cock into his mouth as deeply as he could.

Aaron moaned, then cut it off abruptly. When Spencer glanced up, he saw that Aaron was biting his lips closed. That reminded Spencer that there was a child in the house.

Spencer drew in a breath through his nose and sucked harder, then pressed his spit-slicked finger to Aaron's entrance, circling gently. Aaron's breath hitched, and his body tightened, but Spencer could tell it was from pleasure so far. He pulled off Aaron's cock and murmured, "You have to talk to me," before sucking Aaron into his mouth again and pressing his finger into Aaron as slowly as he could.

"T-nnh..." Aaron broke off whatever he'd been trying to say, panting. "Talk?" After a few moments, Spencer felt Aaron's muscles begin to relax a little. He hummed and massaged his fingers through Spencer's hair. "Feels...a little strange, but in a good way."

Spencer hummed around Aaron, which made Aaron gasp and bite his lip again. Spencer was glad Aaron seemed to understand what he'd meant by talking, so he pushed in a little deeper, slowly, until he could crook his finger inside Aaron. Aaron groaned, so Spencer immediately went for his prostate.

"Oh fuck," Aaron gasped, his entire body jerking. He moaned quietly. "Do that again."

Spencer couldn't help laughing, and the resulting vibration just caused Aaron to shift under him again in pleasure. Spencer added to it, pressing his finger against the same spot, circling it, and drawing out the laugh into a long, slightly louder, hum.

Aaron let out a strangled noise. One leg jerked, and Spencer felt Aaron's knee slide past his shoulder, then the fingers in his hair tightened. "God, Spencer!" he said, panting.

Spencer continued a few moments longer, then pulled back to spit down on his fingers again. He looked up and watched Aaron's face. He was flushed and panting and didn't seem to have a care in the world, not even at the warning pressure of Spencer's second finger against him. He looked gorgeous, and Spencer was starting to ache with want. He sucked Aaron again, wanting to distract Aaron, and slid the second finger inside.

Aaron sucked in a breath and Spencer felt him tense, but the fingers in Spencer's hair began stroking again, and after a few heartbeats Aaron exhaled. "Strange how good that is," Aaron murmured, "even if it's uncomfortable too." He panted for a moment. "Oh, God, Spencer," he said helplessly.

Spencer scissored his fingers, and Aaron sucked in a breath, but he relaxed a lot faster this time. Spencer hummed around Aaron again, sliding up his shaft and flicking his tongue at Aaron's slit. He pulled back to spit again, and then started to gently, slowly, fuck Aaron with his fingers, curving them just right to brush Aaron' prostate as he did.

That drew a low moan from Aaron, who had his eyes squeezed shut. As Spencer watched his face, Aaron caught his lower lip between his teeth, panting, then opened his eyes. His gaze sought Spencer's, and when they met, the hunger in Aaron's expression was unmistakable. "It feels good," he whispered. "Spencer..." His fingers touched Spencer's cheek, then he arched and gasped. "So good."

"Good," Spencer whispered, then trailed kisses over the inside of Aaron's thigh. His fingers were till slick, so when he pulled then nearly out after a few minutes of steady motion inside Aaron, he pressed a third finger against Aaron. He waited for a moment, trying to gauge for a negative response, and when he didn't get one, he added the third finger when he pressed back in.

Aaron inhaled and went still, but he didn't protest. He panted shallowly for a minute, and then his hand started moving on Spencer's hair again. "God," he whispered, drawing the word out. "It burns, but...God, is this what it always feels like?" He stared at Spencer, his breathing deepening though it still came harder than usual. "I feel so...stretched. Good. Odd."

Spencer smiled. "It gets better," he murmured. "It'll definitely be better with proper lubrication."

"It gets better?" Aaron said, then sort of laughed, Spencer thought at himself.

Spencer kissed Aaron's knee, and slid his fingers in and out. When he started moving again, Aaron's eyes fluttered shut, and he panted hard, but Spencer could feel his body loosening with each little push. "I want to fuck you," he whispered. "I want to be inside you."

Aaron moaned. "I want that," he gasped. "I didn't know--fuck, ahh! I didn't know you...ever said...'fuck'." His eyes were still closed, but his mouth was open and curled into a breathless smile. "Spencer, have me. Fuck me."

Spencer slid his fingers out of Aaron carefully, then slicked himself as best he could. He crawled up the bed a moment later. "I say 'fuck' when it's appropriate." He kissed Aaron slowly and nudged Aaron's entrance with the tip of his cock. "God," he panted. It was difficult to restrain himself, but he wanted to be sure Aaron was ready. "Need you," he whispered, nibbling at Aaron's jaw.

"Yes, yes," Aaron urged him, his hands sliding up Spencer's back to grip his shoulders. "Inside me."

Spencer nodded, and pushed in, as slowly as he could manage, feeling Aaron tense and arch under him. Spencer didn't stop until he was fully buried in Aaron, though, panting hard against Aaron's neck. His entire body was suddenly on fire from the feeling of being inside Aaron. "God, that's good," he whispered, and kissed Aaron slowly, trying to ease the discomfort that was lining Aaron's face. "Are you okay?" he whispered, stroking his fingers through Aaron's hair and ignoring the way his heart was pounding and his blood was racing, telling him he needed to thrust.

"Yes," Aaron breathed. He was clinging to Spencer's shoulders, but when Spencer asked that, Aaron slowly began relaxing, his breathing growing less shallow and labored. "God, that's...amazing." He opened his eyes and met Spencer's gaze, his expression more open and vulnerable than Spencer could ever remember seeing it.

Spencer slid a hand down to Aaron's hip, then around to cup Aaron's ass, but he didn't move. God, he wanted to moved. Instead he let out a shaky breath against Aaron's neck. "Amazing good? Or amazing weird?"

"Good," Aaron murmured, his mouth curling a little. "God, Spencer," he whispered, and pulled him in for a hungry kiss.

Spencer hummed into the kiss, his hand sliding from Aaron's ass to his thigh and pulling Aaron's leg up a little. Then he reached between then and closed his hand on Aaron's cock, stroking lightly as he shifted his hips against Aaron to see how he reacted to Spencer moving.

Aaron's breath rushed out of him, then he tightened his fingers on Spencer's shoulders again. "Oh yes," he moaned, letting his head fall back against the pillow.

Spencer moaned quietly, thrilled that Aaron seemed to be enjoying it. He knew how tense and painful it could be the first time, and it felt good to know that Aaron trusted him so much that he was this relaxed. Spencer made a hungry noise and mouthed at Aaron's Adam's apple, starting to thrust shallowly. "You're amazing."

"I--" Aaron broke off with a strangled noise. "I'm amazing?" He looked at Spencer again, half-smiling. "You are." His grip on Spencer's shoulders had loosened again, and finally he started running his fingers through Spencer's hair and over his skin.

Spencer felt his own shoulders loosen when Aaron started to touch him; he hadn't even noticed he'd been holding himself tensely. His fingers circled Aaron's cock more firmly as he thrust deeper, moaning Aaron's name.

"God," Aaron gasped, framing Spencer's face with his hands. He pulled Spencer down for several teasing kisses, then ran a hand down Spencer's chest between them, skating around a nipple. "Feels good!"

"Unngh," Spencer bit out, his hips surging forward as that touch sent a thrill through him. He wondered if he'd hurt Aaron for a moment, but Aaron moaned and pinched. Spencer gasped and thrust again, going a little deeper and harder. "Yes," he breathed, stroking Aaron harder.

"Oh, oh, God, Spencer." Aaron was panting. His free hand slid down to curl into Spencer's ass. It encouraged him, even if Aaron wasn't actually pulling him deeper.

"Good?" Spencer managed to say, even though his breath was leaving him quickly.

"Yes, yes, more." Aaron lifted his head for a hard, swift kiss.

Spencer groaned and slid his hand back to Aaron's thigh, urging Aaron's leg up over his hip. When Aaron complied, he moaned a little louder, then bit his lip hard. God, Spencer had again forgotten that they weren't alone, but he pressed his lips together and stopped for a moment.

It didn't last long, and when Spencer started moving again, he was thrusting in earnest. The pause had let them re-center and remember to control their volume, though, and Aaron was whimpering under his breath as Spencer fucked him, Spencer's hand moving over Aaron's cock, his wrist twisting.

Aaron had begun moving with him, his gaze never leaving Spencer's. It was incredible how present Aaron was, how Spencer never doubted for a moment that he was exactly who Aaron desired. He could feel Aaron's body trembling as they both spiraled closer to the edge. He wanted to make Aaron come first, wanted to watch his face when he did.

He slowed a little to keep himself steady and worked his hand faster, his thumb sliding over the head of Aaron's cock. Then he leaned in and licked at Aaron's neck, sucked at his collar bone, bit a nipple. Aaron gasped, his body tightening, and Spencer pulled back to watch him as he came with a low groan, his muscles clenching around Spencer.

Spencer moaned, and then couldn't hold back anymore. He let himself go, thrusting into Aaron's relaxed body as Aaron continued to whimper, and then Spencer's body lit up and he came hard, stilling over Aaron as he did.

Aaron's hands smoothed over his skin and into his hair as Aaron murmured words Spencer couldn't catch past his own heartbeat. His tone was sweet, though, and when his hands guided Spencer in for a slow kiss, his lips were tender. He kissed across Spencer's cheek and whispered in his ear, "That was mind-blowing."

Spencer laughed, a funny, lightheaded laugh, and kissed Aaron again. "Stop or it'll go to my head," he managed, smiling, and slid out to rest next to Aaron.

He tried to catch his breath, but his body was still racing, so he exhaled hard and rested his head against Aaron's shoulder until his heart started to calm down. He realized his hand was sticky then, and lifted it to look at the white fluid clinging to his fingers. God. He looked up at Aaron and held his gaze, then drew his tongue along one slender finger, licking Aaron's come off him.

Aaron's mouth dropped open slightly as he stared at Spencer. "Fuck me, that's sexy," he whispered, watching him. A moment later he leaned in and kissed Spencer hungrily, like he wanted to taste himself on Spencer's tongue.

Spencer laughed softly against his mouth, then made an appreciative noise and kissed Aaron back more deeply. When they broke apart, Spencer spent a few moments cleaning them both up, relishing the taste of Aaron's release against his tongue, and then Aaron kissed him again. Spencer felt unbelievably happy.

"This is incredible," Aaron whispered. He rolled them over so his weight was half on Spencer, one leg draped across Spencer's. "I wanted this so much, but I never thought..." His fingers trailed across Spencer's collarbone, then splayed possessively on his stomach. "Spencer."

Spencer smiled, sliding his hand over Aaron's. "I'd like to stay if I can," he whispered. "If it's not a problem."

Aaron smiled slowly back at him. "You're not going anywhere," he murmured, and lowered his head to kiss Spencer again.

***

Aaron woke curled up around Spencer. One arm had gone to sleep, but the warmth of having another person, having Spencer pressed against him, was worth it. Aaron nuzzled sleepily at the back of Spencer's neck, kissing the sleep-warmed skin. Spencer was so beautiful, so faithful...Aaron could hardly believe that Spencer wanted him.

He relished that sensation for a long time, but eventually he realized he was hearing noises from outside his bedroom door. He kissed Spencer's shoulder, then climbed out of bed and found a pair of FBI sweats and a t-shirt.

He headed downstairs, where he found Jack lying on his stomach on the floor, about two feet in front of the TV. Aaron settled down next to his son.

"What are we watching?"

"Robots and people," Jack said. "Shh."

Aaron smiled and pulled Jack back against him, and they watched the show in silence until Aaron wondered if he should tell his son about Spencer being here. In the end he decided not to. Jack would probably take it in stride the way an older child might not.

Still, when Spencer wandered into the room later, wearing the same clothes he'd worn the day before (albeit, they were rumpled and Spencer was barefoot and missing his tie), Aaron's heart jumped.

Aaron saw him before Jack did. Spencer's hair was all over his head and he was squinting. "I doubt you have contact solution, but I'd bet you have coffee," he mumbled.
Jack sat up and stared. "Spesser!" he shrieked, robot cartoon forgotten. He jumped up and flung himself at Spencer. Aaron rolled to his feet and tried not to laugh.

"I'll start the coffee," he promised, and went into the kitchen. He could still hear Jack chattering excitedly as he started measuring out the grounds and water.

"What's wrong?" Jack exclaimed a few moments later.

"I can't see and you're standing on my foot," Spencer said. Jack must have bounced when he giggled, because a moment later, Spencer said, "Ow. Why don't you step back a few inches?"

"Are you blind?"

"Nearly," Spencer groaned.

"You don't look blind! Come and watch cartoons with me!" Jack yelled.

"Are you capable of being quiet?"

Jack just giggled and Aaron heard them move toward the TV.
Aaron filled a cup as the brewer dripped, then replaced it with the carafe. He carried the cup out to Spencer and kissed his cheek. "I'll see if I can find eye drops." He left again, grinning, as Jack said, "Did my daddy just kiss you?"

"Mm-hmm," Spencer hummed. "Shh, I want to watch the robots." Aaron smiled, glad Spencer hadn't panicked. Though, truthfully, he was probably half asleep. Aaron had a feeling Spencer didn't really want to watch the cartoon, either, but had found it a convenient excuse to shush Jack again.

He found something that might work for Spencer's contact trouble in the upstairs medicine cabinet, and carried them back out to the living room. Then he went and got himself some coffee and opened the fridge. "Who wants eggs and bacon?" he called.

Jack, who seemed to have decided Spencer was his to sit on, yelled, "I DO!"

Spencer groaned, and Aaron could barely keep from laughing. "Jack, inside voice, please."

"You can have some of my Cocoa Puffs," he heard Jack tell Spencer a moment later, his voice much quieter.

"I think I'd rather have eggs and bacon."

"With chocolate syrup?!"

Aaron heard Spencer snort. "Ah, not really. Maybe maple syrup on my bacon."

"EWWWW!"
Aaron was tempted to put the chocolate syrup on the table, just to see what Spencer did, but he was afraid Jack would take him up on it. So when he had everything mostly ready, he called for them to come out to the kitchen.

"I want to watch my robots," Jack whined, but Aaron knew Haley didn't like Jack eating in front of the television, so he held firm. He heard the TV go off, then Jack climbed up next to Spencer at the table.

"Did you spend the night?" Jack asked Spencer as Aaron was carrying omelets and bacon over to the table.

Spencer's eyebrows went up. He was obviously waking up now. Spencer shot Aaron a strange look, then cleared his throat. "Do I look like I came over like this?"

"I don't know," Jack said. "Did you and Daddy have a slumber party?"

Spencer coughed, nearly choking on his coffee, then croaked, "Sort of."
Aaron tried to hide his smile behind his coffee cup. "Spencer will probably be spending the night more often, okay, Jack? Spencer and Daddy are very close friends."

Jack shrugged. "Okay. C'n I have Cocoa Puffs?"

"Not until you've eaten your eggs and bacon," Aaron said.

Jack frowned and poked at his eggs, then leaned over and whispered to Spencer loudly. "It's okay. You can put it in the thing if you don't want it."

Spencer turned and blinked at Jack, confused, then Jack gestured in a way that was obviously meant to be secretive to a potted plant near the table.

"Oh." Spencer continued to stare at Jack. "Okay. Thanks."

Aaron frowned. "I always thought that was your mom putting food there. Now I'm on to you, buddy."

Jack giggled and Aaron shook his head. "I don't know what I'm going to do with you, but you'd better not start teaching Spencer bad habits." Jack giggled harder.

Spencer was just staring from Jack to Aaron, a perplexed expression on his face. It made Aaron laugh along with Jack. He met Spencer's gaze across the table, smiling at him, and slid a hand out to take Spencer's.

Spencer clearly had a lot to learn about children, but Aaron thought he and Jack were probably up to the challenge.