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geekystudmuffinTitle: Never Would It Be Night, But Always Clear Day (1/2)
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Pairing/characters: Morgan/Reid, Diana Reid
Rating: PG-13/FRT
Summary: Reid and Morgan go to Vegas so Morgan can "meet" Diana Reid again, this time as Reid's boyfriend.
Word count: ~16,000 (both parts)
Spoilers to: The Fisher King, part two (also an isty bitsy spoiler for The Big Game/Revelations)
Notes: Est. relationship. Written for the M/R Summer Vacation Challenge (Aug '08) @![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
morganreid_cm. Written in RP format. If you find any glaring errors, feel free to point them out! :D
Reid's mother never returned his letters. He never expected her to, but that fact seemed inescapable now. He'd told her months ago he'd been dating a man--more specifically Derek Morgan, whom she'd met before. He'd told her pretty much as soon as it happened. He never could keep secrets from her, even as a child. Of course, because she never returned his letters, he had no idea how she had taken the idea that her son was... well, not gay, but flexible that way.
And now Morgan had come up with the idea of going to Vegas for a week over the summer, and Reid didn't have the heart to say no, even when the very idea of taking his lover to "meet" his mother filled him with apprehension.
He'd spent most of the night tossing in bed, and when Morgan finally rolled over and wrapped his arms around Reid, Reid settled. But he didn't sleep.
"S'wrong?" Morgan mumbled finally. Reid had been tossing and turning all night, and Morgan was going to have a bruise on his hip where a bony knee had made contact. He'd finally roused himself enough to try to calm Reid down. Of course it was nerves about going back home--about taking Morgan back home--so the only thing Morgan could really do was distract him.
Reid sighed. Maybe he should just get up, and then at least one of them would be rested tomorrow. "Nothing. Sorry," he murmured, stroking his fingers over one of Morgan's hands where it was draped over Reid's waist. "Might get up and read, though." Of course, reading wouldn't distract him long, but he did have that chess set in the living room.
"Mmm." Morgan sighed and rolled over on top of Reid. "Liar." He kissed Reid teasingly, then nuzzled at his jaw. "Nervous?"
Reid closed his eyes and drew a deep breath, liking the attention even if he did feel guilty for keeping Morgan awake. "Yes," he said. "But you should sleep."
Morgan snorted. "I can't sleep if you're awake," he murmured. "Especially the way you take up more than your share of the bed when you're awake." He kissed along Reid's jaw, enjoying the warmth and the dimness of the room.
"Sorry," Reid breathed. "That's why I said I could go read." Reid slid his hand up Morgan's back, liking the way his strong body felt over him. It felt safe. Usually it felt safe enough to douse Reid's nightmares, but this worry wasn't exactly a nightmare. It ran deeper than simple, uncomplicated fear.
"Don't be silly." Morgan smiled and nibbled at Reid's skin, shifting lazily against him. "I'll just distract you." He stroked a hand along Reid's side. "Beautiful boy."
Reid laughed softly, but ran his hand down to cup Morgan's ass. "You know, sex doesn't fix everything."
"No, but it takes your mind off things," Morgan replied. "Would you rather I get up and play chess with you?" He would get his ass handed to him if he did. He rarely beat Reid at chess. Still, he didn't mind, if it would help.
"I'd feel better if you'd go back to sleep so I don't have to add guilt to the list of things I wish I wasn't feeling right now." Reid turned his head and kissed Morgan, then canted one hip up to indicate Morgan should roll off him and sleep.
"Mmm, bossy," Morgan murmured, licking Reid's ear. He rolled off Reid but snuggled up next to him and wrapped his arms around him again. "It'll be fine," he said, his lips still against Reid's ear. "She's had months to get used to the idea. Anyway, she can't think you having a gay affair with a black man is a government conspiracy, so we ought to be all right." He made his voice warm, hoping Reid wouldn't mind him sort of joking about Diana Reid's paranoia.
Reid's lips thinned. "Probably not, but you'd be surprised what she could think." He licked his lips and quietly prayed that his mother wasn't having one of her episodes. If she was... "Morgan, this could be a waste of time. You-- you know that, right?" he whispered.
"Hey." Morgan tightened his arms around Reid. "Spencer, no matter how things go, this trip is not a waste of time. You love your mom. So this is important." He kissed Reid's neck and smiled. "Because I love you."
Reid sighed and settled, letting himself relax a bit. "I know," he breathed. "Go back to sleep." He wondered if he could slip out of Morgan's arms once Morgan was out again.
"You first," Morgan said lightly, though he had a feeling Reid wasn't going to sleep. Morgan pressed his face against Reid's neck and exhaled slowly, relaxing against him. He slept best when he was curled up with Reid.
Reid rolled his eyes, but stayed still and quiet--well, outwardly quiet, anyway. When Morgan's breathing slowed, Reid slipped out from his arms and wandered out to the living room, where he played chess with himself for a while.
It was a few hours later that he heard the alarm go off in the bedroom and Morgan mumble a groggy 'good morning' down the hallway on his way to the shower. Reid started breakfast, trying to take comfort in how this felt, being together like this, and not think about their impending trip.
Morgan came out a while later, showered and shaved and wearing only his jeans. He went straight for the coffee and filled his mug, then looped an arm around Reid's stomach and kissed the back of his neck. "You didn't sleep at all last night, did you?" he murmured, closing his eyes.
"Mmm, no," Reid said. Oddly, he didn't feel tired. He still felt too nervous to relax, but he leaned back into Morgan's embrace anyway. "Not much."
Morgan smiled. "You'll fall asleep on the plane and I'll be bored," he teased. He hoped Reid would sleep on the plane, just so he wouldn't be utterly exhausted when they got to Vegas. He hummed and kissed Reid's cheek. He still had moments when it hit him how lucky he was that Reid was with him.
"I'm not tired." Reid took the pan off the heat and turned in Morgan's arms to kiss him. "I'm sure I could still beat you at poker."
"Ooh, them's fighting words, kid," Morgan murmured against Reid's lips. He pulled Reid closer, relishing the feel of Reid's lean, hard body against his.
Reid laughed softly, feeling a little more at ease now. Morgan was always more affectionate when going to sleep, half-sleeping, and when just waking up, and it was always nice. Reid pressed his cheek to Morgan's and drew in a deep breath. "Mmm, Morgan."
"I love you," Morgan whispered, closing his eyes. He'd never thought of himself as a sappy sort of person, but he thought Reid needed to hear those words, so he tried to say them a lot. After a moment he pulled back enough to take a gulp of coffee. "I love your coffee, too."
"Folgers," Reid murmured, and kissed Morgan again, stroking his fingers up Morgan's back. He smiled at Morgan, always happy when Morgan said he loved him, and Reid knew Morgan knew the feeling was mutual, even if the words didn't roll so easily off Reid's lips as they did Morgan's. He was pretty sure they both knew there was a tiny part of Reid that was afraid to say the words, as if it was an invitation for that love to become damaged like Reid had seen so many times before. He leaned in and kissed Morgan tenderly, dipping his tongue into Morgan's mouth, tasting the coffee on his tongue, then pulled back with a contented sigh. "Can you finish up breakfast while I shower?" he murmured.
"Sure." Morgan brushed his thumb along Reid's cheekbone, then shooed him off to the shower. When Reid came back some time later, Morgan had finished two cups of coffee and had breakfast set out on the table.
Reid smiled as he settled at the table, running his fingers through his damp hair. He didn't feel the need to talk as they ate, and his thoughts drifted back to his mother and how this was going to go.
Morgan hooked his ankle around Reid's under the table, enjoying this. Mornings together were his favorite times, the quiet, comfortable way they could sit together and not have to talk to enjoy each other's company. If anyone had told him two years ago that he would have a relationship like this, he wouldn't have believed it. More than that, he wouldn't have understood. But with Reid, it always just felt natural. When Morgan had to refill his coffee, he brought the pot over to refresh Reid's cup before sitting down again; it had just become second nature to think of Reid as well as himself.
"Thanks," Reid murmured, smiling at Morgan. He sopped up the last of his egg yolks with his toast and sighed. "Are we all packed?"
"I think so, but you'd better make sure I've got everything you want." Morgan grinned. "I'm not sure I packed my handcuffs," he added, teasingly.
Reid's smile widened and he lifted an eyebrow. "I'll pack mine," he teased back.
The flight to Vegas was uneventful. Reid actually lost a game of cards to Morgan as the comforting lull of the plane--familiar, he could always sleep on the jet--started to drown out the worry buzzing through his mind. He eventually did sleep, his feet on the seat, knees bent and partially in Morgan's lap.
When they landed, he groggily tried to fumble their carry-on luggage out of the overhead compartment until Morgan got it down with much more ease. Reid wasn't even sure he was entirely awake by the time they made it to the hotel, and he wasn't ready to face his mother yet. He collapsed on the bed with a groan, face down, the noise muffled into the pillow. "You shouldn't have let me sleep," he murmured, pretty sure it was unintelligible.
"What's that?" Morgan dropped to the bed next to him and rubbed a hand over Reid's back. Reid mumbled the words again, a little louder.
"I thought you needed it," Morgan said. "Besides, you were unbearably cute, curled up like that. The girl across the aisle from us kept making these silly faces at me, like, 'Oh, aren't you sweet!'" He snickered.
"Ugh," Reid moaned into the pillow, then rolled to look up at Morgan without bothering to brush his hair out of his face. "I won't be able to wake up now... and you are sweet."
"Ha, she meant you." Morgan leaned down and kissed Reid, then rolled onto his back. "Let's just go to bed. I'll call room service later for supper, and we can go see your mom in the morning." Now that it came down to it, Morgan was a little nervous about this, even if it had been his idea.
Reid smiled and rolled toward Morgan. He suspected Morgan was finally starting to get nervous, if his inclination to stay in tonight had anything to with it. "We don't have to go at all. I didn't tell her we were coming," he said... and then instantly felt bad, his smile falling off. He knew he shouldn't have left himself an out, but he had. He hoped Morgan wasn't going to call him on it.
Morgan laughed and wrapped his arms around Reid. "You know, if I didn't know better, I'd think you're ashamed of me, pretty boy," he teased. He kissed Reid again. "No, we should go. But we don't have to go today, if you're tired." He wound a leg around Reid's. "Mmm, as a matter of fact, I sorta like the idea of us staying in and having a little quality time together."
Reid sucked in a breath at the way Morgan pulled him close with one strong leg, then he brushed his lips against Morgan's. "You do know it's not you, right?"
"I know that," Morgan said, surprised. "You remember how nervous I was about telling my mom." He left unspoken the last part of that thought--and she's not even schizophrenic--but he knew they both heard it anyway. "It's just...awkward." He kissed Reid, more hungrily this time.
"Mmm," Reid hummed into the kiss, willing to let the subject drop now, not wanting to discuss the differences in their mothers. "So what was that about quality time?"
Morgan laughed and rolled them over so Reid was on top of him. "I was just thinking we could wear each other out so we both sleep well tonight," he murmured. He slid a hand down so he could squeeze Reid's ass.
Reid centered his weight on top of Morgan, his fingertips brushing Morgan's face. "I don't know if you're up for that challenge," he breathed, kissing Morgan hard and then pulling away too teasingly soon.
"Oh, you don't think so?" Morgan said, arching an eyebrow. He grabbed Reid around the waist and rolled them again, pinning Reid to the mattress. "Well, after a couple minutes with you, I'm sure to be up for it," he murmured, and kissed him back.
Reid reached down and squeezed Morgan's ass, pulling their hips together. "I'm sure you will."
*****
After multiple rounds of sex and a heavy meal from room service, Reid slept far better their first night in Vegas than he'd slept the night before. He woke groggily with his arm draped around Morgan. "No one sleeps in L's Vegas. Obviously not sleeping with you. Mmph, wait, no, tha's New York," he mumbled, mostly asleep. "Nev'mind."
Morgan just grunted and buried his face against Reid's hair. A minute later he muttered, "Thought it was never night in Vegas."
"I know..." Reid snuggled closer to Morgan. "Never sleeps is New York. Just mumbling. S'rry."
"Mmm." Morgan smiled and stroked a hand sleepily over Reid's skin. He loved waking up like this after he'd got Reid to sleep naked. And he was extremely glad to be waking to sunshine instead of the middle of the night.
Reid pressed his face against Morgan's skin and inhaled deeply, loving the drowsy feeling between them. "Can we stay here all day?"
Morgan chuckled. "Not all day. Gotta go see your mom." He turned his head to kiss Reid's neck, letting his tongue slide lazily over the warm skin.
The surge of nervousness that hit Reid was immediate, and he started to rouse fully, but Morgan's tongue felt good against his skin. He pulled Morgan closer, and hummed. "Mmm'okay," he said, then sighed and rolled away to look at Morgan.
"Where you going?" Morgan asked, his voice more than a little plaintive. He'd hoped Reid would stay there so they could enjoy 'sleeping in' for a while. He lifted his head from the pillow, frowning.
Reid breathed a laugh, always amused by how clingy Morgan could be in the morning. Reid sometimes forgot, but Morgan usually reminded him, as he was now. "I'm'wake now," he murmured, but shifted back towards Morgan again.
Morgan huffed at him but wrapped his arms around Reid and closed his eyes again. "So'm I, but doesn't mean you have to move," he muttered. Morgan was anything but a morning person, as far as actually being awake and out of bed was concerned. He liked being awake early if Reid was in bed with him and they didn't have to get up. That was it. He gave a sleepy sigh and then snuggled a little closer again.
Reid smiled and turned his head to kiss Morgan's forehead. "You're so demanding," he complained, a note of teasing in his voice. He squeezed Morgan, pulling him into a tight embrace and loving how utterly different from himself Morgan felt in his arms. "Do you want me to go get breakfast?" he breathed, if just to hear Morgan tell him to stay put again.
"Nnnuh," Morgan said, and tightened his arms around Reid. "Want you right where you are." Sometimes he suspected Reid did this on purpose--he seemed amused by Morgan's attitude toward mornings--but he never bothered expending the energy to argue about it. He just draped a leg over Reid's legs and rested his head on Reid's shoulder, which was enough to make it difficult for Reid to actually leave the bed.
Reid's smiled turned into a grin, and he relaxed again--he might as well, considering he couldn't move. He sighed and pressed his lips to Morgan's forehead, wanting to tell Morgan how much he enjoyed this, how much he loved this. He was quiet for a long moment, then drew a deep breath. "Thank you for loving me," he whispered.
Morgan was silent for a while, enjoying those words. He knew why Reid didn't say them often, and he understood...but it was nice when Reid acknowledged that he understood. "Always," he breathed finally. He smiled, not opening his eyes, and let himself drift hazily back toward sleep.
Reid stayed in bed for a long while after Morgan fell back to sleep, trying to let the feeling of contentment settle in him, rather than worry over how the day was going to go. Eventually his worry won out, though, and he slipped from bed and made coffee, then grabbed a key and went down for breakfast, which he brought back to the room so that Morgan could eat. He hoped the smell of it would wake Morgan up, and was pleased when it did.
About an hour later, they were getting dressed, and Reid found himself staring at himself in the mirror, brushing his hair for what was probably the first time in months and frowning at his reflection. "I need to cut my hair," he murmured to himself, and immediately knew he didn't really want to cut it, but he felt like he needed to before he went to see his mother anyway.
Morgan stopped brushing his teeth to inspect Reid's reflection. He spit into the sink and shook his head. "I like your hair." He liked the way it curled at the nape of Reid's neck, and the way it felt between Morgan's fingers. And he didn't like the way Reid looked with short hair. He looked younger...nerdier.
"She's going to hate it," Reid said, and considered pulling it back, but decided against it.
"No she won't," Morgan said, though he honestly had no idea what Diana Reid would think about...well, anything. Hell, he was half afraid she might throw curses or even books at him the minute she saw him. It was always possible she thought he'd corrupted her beautiful, genius son. Oh, God, now Morgan was getting nervous again. He rubbed a palm across his jaw and looked past Reid into the mirror. "Should I shave?"
Reid nodded. "Yes." There was no hesitation in his answer, but no force either. Whether Morgan listened to Reid was up to Morgan. After a moment though, he wondered if that yes was asking too much anyway. He reached up and touched Morgan's jaw. "No." He pulled a face. "Do whatever you want."
Morgan tilted his face into Reid's touch. "Do you want me to shave?" he asked, rephrasing it intentionally.
"Do what you want," Reid repeated, then tried on a smile and leaned in to kiss Morgan, hoping it would calm them both.
When the kiss ended, Morgan grinned and wiped toothpaste off Reid's mouth. "I'll shave. Won't take me long." He ran his fingers through Reid's hair, loosening it a little from the slicked-back look. "And no last-minute haircuts."
Twenty minutes and a valet parking stub later Reid had changed his shirt twice and Morgan was shaved and wearing a tie for the first time in weeks, if not months. He was also wishing he hadn't had quite so many cups of coffee, because his stomach felt jumpy. It was bad enough meeting your lover's mother, but when you added in the fact that your lover's mother was a paranoid schizophrenic...well, it was downright nerve-wracking.
Morgan forced himself to stop bouncing his leg nervously and glanced over at Reid, who didn't seem properly excited about being behind the wheel of a sporty convertible in Las Vegas.
Reid couldn't quite manage to quiet all the noise in his head. This always--always--happened when he went to see his mother. The wheels started turning and they usually didn't stop until he was settled in with her and knew how she was feeling on any given day. He wondered idly if Morgan would let him go back and change his shirt again, but then decided he was fine.
The drive to Bennington Sanitarium was mostly silent, which didn't really help either of them feel any better, Reid was sure... but he wasn't exactly sure what to say. He felt oddly compelled to tell Morgan about the first time he'd been to the place, but also, oddly, really didn't want to talk about it.
Morgan couldn't bring himself to make small talk, but he didn't think either of them wanted to talk about what they would do if Diana was having a bad day, or if she was having a good day and still threw them out, or anything like that. He tried not to close himself off, but he kept finding his gaze drawn off out the window. Finally he rested a hand on Reid's thigh and left it there, which made him feel better about staring blankly out the window and not talking.
Reid sighed and curled his fingers around Morgan's hand, feeling a little better for the contact. After a moment, he swallowed hard, and finally said what he was thinking, feeling a little better about talking now that Morgan was touching him. "I wish this was normal."
Morgan looked back over at Reid. "Normal how?" Do you mean you wish your mom wasn't crazy, or that it was normal for two men to be together?
Reid frowned. "Just normal." He shrugged and took a turn down a still familiar street, taking them farther out of the city and into a more residential area. "I guess if it was, things wouldn't be the same, but..." He shrugged again. Of course, sometimes Reid thought it might have been better if things weren't 'the same', but he probably wouldn't have had Morgan if things were different. "I wish things were normal for you, more than myself."
Morgan tightened his hand on Reid's. "Hey, I wouldn't know what to do with normal if I had it," he said lightly. "Look, I love you. And your mom is part of you. You know I'm in this for real, okay, for the long haul. I don't like that things are so hard on you, but I'm not afraid of it." It wasn't entirely true--he was scared as hell about some things in their relationship, but they were things completely out of human control, for the most part, so he lived with it.
"Then why am I?" Reid asked, not expecting an answer. It didn't really make sense, considering he knew Morgan wasn't going to leave him no matter what happened today, that Reid was still afraid of what might happen. But the fear was there, and Reid had to wonder if he'd ever really believe anyone would stay with him 'for the long haul'. He pulled his hand from Morgan's to help him drive. "Sorry."
Morgan shook his head. "You don't have to apologize to me. Whatever happens happens." He glanced out the window again, feeling like he ought to keep talking now that the silence had been broken. "How long has your mom lived here?"
"I was eighteen when I-- when she--" Reid shifted in his seat and accelerated, in spite of not really wanting to get there faster. "Eight years."
Morgan cleared his throat, noting the acceleration. Maybe it had been a bad idea to keep talking. Maybe he should tell Reid they didn't have to do this. Maybe he should just shut up. He squeezed Reid's thigh lightly and didn't say anything.
Reid glanced at Morgan, feeling bad because he'd obviously made Morgan uncomfortable again. He didn't say anything else, though, and the rest of the drive was silent again.
When they pulled up at the sanitarium, Reid fussed with his clothes the entire walk through the parking lot, tugging his cardigan and tie straight at least three times each. "Welcome to my yearly vacation," he said wryly, his smile a little self-deprecating. Morgan may have suggested it this time, but Reid did pretty much do this every year when he had time off.
Morgan got in front of Reid and stopped him with hands on his shoulders. "Spencer," he murmured, meeting his gaze. "Thank you." He forced himself not to look around and see if anyone was around before he leaned in and placed a quick kiss on Reid's lips. He was still learning not to feel self-conscious about the way people looked at them sometimes.
Reid offered Morgan a tiny smile, but he still felt his cheeks heat a little. It wasn't often that they got to be affectionate in public, due to their jobs, and it felt strange to do so here, but Reid wasn't about to say anything. He appreciated the effort he knew it took for Morgan to do that too much. "Don't thank me yet," he said, his smile a little stronger, even if it was tinged with sadness.
"I'm grateful that you're sharing this with me," Morgan said, his voice firm. Even if everything goes badly. He tilted his head toward the building. "Come on, let's get in there. The anticipation isn't going to get any better."
Reid drew a deep breath and nodded, then started into the building ahead of Morgan. A short blonde woman behind the front desk greeted him with a smile when he walked in the door. "Dr. Reid," she said brightly.
"Margorie," Reid greeted. "How many times am I going to have to tell you to call me Spencer?" Most of the people that had been working here since he was a teenager already did anyway.
Margorie laughed. "All right, fine. Spencer." She glanced at Morgan. "You must be Derek," she said, and winked at him. "I've heard about you."
"Good things or bad things?" Reid asked.
Margorie smiled and reached out to squeeze Reid's hand. "Come on, I'll take you two back."
Morgan grinned. "Oh, come on, you know it's all been good things," he said teasingly. He turned his grin on Margorie. "Or if it's not good, he's been lying about me." He was pleased that she laughed at that. He relaxed a little as they followed Margorie through the halls. If he'd been greeted like that, Diana must not have too much of a problem with him. Hopefully. At least, he hoped Margorie would warn them otherwise.
A couple of people greeted Reid as they walked, and he offered them each a tiny wave, but he felt his chest get tighter as they got closer to the common area, where he was fairly certain his mom would be sitting, as Randall Garner put it, in "her window".
"How's she doing?" he asked.
"I've been at the front all day," Margorie said, and patted his shoulder as they came to a stop. "I'd tell you she talks about you all the time, but I'm sure you've heard it. She'll be glad to see you," she added, smiling at Morgan before she walked away.
Reid looked in the room at the back of his mother's head for a long moment. She was exactly where she was sitting the last three times he'd visited. He glanced at Morgan.
Morgan gave Reid an encouraging smile and touched the small of his back briefly. He didn't know what to say, so he kept silent.
Reid nodded at nothing in particular and turned back to his mom. It took him a moment to get his feet to actually listen to his brain, but he eventually walked over to where she was sitting, trying not to startle her. He glanced at Morgan, then pulled a chair over to sit, but as soon as she turned her gaze on him, he could tell something was wrong. "Hi, mom."
Diana fixed Reid with a sharp eye, her expression almost discerning, but not quite. After a moment, she noticed the man standing slightly behind him, and looked his direction too, then back at Reid. "What do you want?"
Reid cleared his throat and shifted slightly in his seat. He'd seen this before, and had a feeling he knew what her next question would be, but fought to hope otherwise. "We came to see you."
"Who are you?" she asked, her tone almost accusatory.
Exactly what Reid expected. His heart sank a little, but this was at least better than some of her episodes could get. He smiled at her, trying to put her at ease. "Spencer, mom."
Diana's eyes narrowed, and for a long moment, she didn't speak, she just stared at him. When she spoke again, her tone was just barely softer. "I have a son named Spencer," she informed him.
Reid nodded, then glanced at Morgan, half to assure himself that Morgan wasn't freaking out, then looked back at his mom. He nearly said 'I know', but then thought better of possibly making her paranoid, thinking he--someone she didn't know, at least not right now--had been watching her. "Do you?" he asked.
Morgan pulled a chair over, too, and sat down near Spencer, though he was careful not to sit too close. He smiled in greeting at her, but wasn't sure what to say. Finally he settled on, "What's he like?"
Both Reids turned a sharp gaze on Morgan for two totally different reasons, but Diana spoke first, her tone clipped. "Who are you?"
Apparently that hadn't been the right thing to say. Maybe he should have kept his mouth shut. Derek glanced at Reid, then smiled at Diana. "Derek Morgan, ma'am. I'm Spencer's friend."
Reid swallowed hard and tried to remind himself that Morgan had asked really the only thing that could be asked, but it still felt a little like Morgan had just asked to see embarrassing baby pictures or something. He glanced up when his mother looked back at him.
"Are you one of Spencer's friends too?" she asked.
"Sort of," Reid said.
She glared at him. "Don't tell me 'sort of'. You either are or you aren't."
"Yes, ma'am. I am," Reid answered quickly.
Diana's brows suddenly clouded over and she looked back at Morgan. "Is he in trouble?"
Morgan tried to make his expression reassuring. "Oh, no, ma'am. I told him I was going to be in Las Vegas on my vacation, and he said you lived here." He glanced at Reid, hoping he was saying the right thing, then looked back at her. "He said you might like to have visitors."
She sat back in her seat, holding Morgan's gaze for a while, then she looked back out the window. Reid licked his lips and glanced at Morgan, wondering if they should go. It was possible that was all they were going to get from his mother today. He sighed and shifted, though, willing to let the silence hang for a while. Sometimes the silence was so familiar it took him back, and he didn't really want to leave her yet now that he was here.
"If you already know him, why are you asking what he's like?" Diana asked, after what seemed like a long pause, though she didn't turn back around to face either of them.
"Because you might answer that question differently than I would," Morgan said, feeling a little more confident. He settled back in his seat. "Friendship and love are very subjective."
Diana's eyebrows lifted, and she considered that for a moment. "Yes, but I wouldn't expect you to understand the love of a mother. Are you two government too?"
"No," Reid said, because as long as she didn't recognize him, they might as well not set her off. "We're not the government."
Morgan shook his head. "Not government, no. But just because I don't understand something, is that a reason to not try?" She'd been a literature professor; he hoped this was the right approach to take in talking to her. "Shouldn't we try to understand things that aren't familiar to us?"
"'Where there is great love, there are always miracles,'" Diana replied, rolling her head to the side to peer at Morgan from the corner of her eye.
"Willa Cather," Reid said, and offered her a smile when she turned to look at him.
"You know her?" she asked.
"One of Ours, 1923 Pulitzer Prize winner," Reid said.
She looked at him, her gaze appraising, then turned back to Morgan. "He was a miracle."
Reid tried not to react at the way she used the past tense.
Morgan smiled, glancing warmly at Reid. Yes, he would agree with that assessment, especially now that he could admit he did believe in miracles. "A miracle." He nodded, turning his gaze back to Diana. "That sounds right." He thought for a moment. "'Mother is the name of God on the lips and hearts of all children,'" he quoted. It wasn't one she would recognize, but Reid liked comic books. He might know it.
Reid couldn't help but smile at that, knowing his mother wouldn't recognize the quote from The Crow. He didn't say anything, though, and the next words out of his mother's mouth made his smile slip off completely.
"Not mine," she said, then turned to gaze out the window again.
"I'm sure that's not true," Reid murmured, but she didn't respond.
"Spencer adores you, ma'am," Morgan said. He was a physical sort of person, but he restrained himself from reaching out to touch her; Spencer had to have come by his general aversion to touch from somewhere. "He always speaks very highly of you. It was why I wanted so much to meet you." He registered the hurt on Spencer's face, but didn't reach out to him, either.
"Actions speak louder than words, though, don't they?" she said. She looked between the two men sitting next to her.
Reid couldn't meet her gaze this time, but he thought he was doing a decent job of keeping the shame and hurt off his face because she wouldn't understand it now. She was usually only passive aggressive about this subject when she was thinking more clearly, when she realized he was standing right in front of her.
"He's as guilt-ridden as his father," she said, then turned back to her window, her expression going empty.
Morgan's brows drew together. When he glanced at Reid he saw that Reid was frowning deeply into his lap, not looking at either of them. "I'm not sure what actions you mean, ma'am," he said quietly. "It was my understanding that Spencer writes to you frequently and comes to visit you whenever he can." Of course there was no way to reason with her, not like this. He hoped that, in her more lucid moments, Diana Reid realized what Spencer had done was for the best.
"Yes, he writes to me," Diana said absently, her voice flat.
Reid glanced back up and watched her for a moment, not bothering to hide the expression on his face now that she was looking away again. "He may not see you often, but comparing him to his father is hardly fair," he said, his voice more vulnerable than he'd meant it to be.
Diana's lips thinned, but she didn't move or say anything. Reid glanced at Morgan, hoping to reassure Morgan he was okay... which he wasn't, but that wasn't the point.
Morgan frowned and curled his hand around Reid's, though he didn't say anything. God, they should go. Obviously this wasn't the sort of visit either of them had had in mind for today. "I'm very glad to meet you, Mrs. Reid," he said finally.
Diana nodded, still staring ahead of her, and Reid gave Morgan's hand a little tug to indicate they should go. They got up and moved their chairs back. Reid started to reach out to touch her shoulder, but stopped himself, reminding himself she didn't know him today and wouldn't appreciate it. Still, he couldn't stop himself from murmuring, "I love you, mom," just before he walked away with Morgan. She didn't react to that either, but Reid was almost glad for it.
Morgan was relieved Reid had decided the visit was over. There had been nothing overtly harrowing about it, but he still felt like he would need to give a lot of love to smooth it over. Not that anything he did could erase pain inflicted on Reid by his mother, but at least Morgan could try to make it easier.
"She wasn't going to say anything else, I don't think," Reid murmured. He was familiar with the way she shut off sometimes, and it seemed to happen more often when his father was mentioned. He was tempted to say they should try again later in their trip; he didn't really want to come and her not remember him being here, but he also didn't want to make Morgan any more uncomfortable right now. He could bring it up later.
Morgan nodded and didn't say anything as they passed Margorie. She waved at them both, which Morgan returned with a smile. When they were outside again, he said, "We should come back tomorrow, if you think a day will make a difference."
Reid looked at Morgan and nodded. "It might not, but I'd like her to remember me being here, if it's at all possible," he said.
"Okay, we'll do that," Morgan said. "In the meantime, though, I need something alcoholic, and you naked in my bed. If that's okay with you." What he really wanted was Reid snuggled up in his arms, being reminded of how wonderful he was, and that he hadn't done anything wrong when he'd decided he couldn't continue to care for his mother at home. But naked and in bed would do for a start.
"We're in Vegas and you want to go to bed?" Reid asked, though truthfully hiding under the covers and letting Morgan distract him from what had just happened sounded wonderful.
"Casinos and poolside lounging can wait," Morgan said. "We're on our first vacation together in months, and I want you in my arms again." He watched Reid as they got in the car and fastened their seatbelts. "She was right, you know," he murmured after a while. "You are a miracle."
Reid felt a little stab of hurt in his stomach, even though Morgan was trying to be nice. "I was a miracle," he said.
"You'll always be a miracle to me," Morgan replied, leaning over and brushing his lips against Reid's. When he pulled away again, he smiled faintly. "Come on, gorgeous, take me back to the hotel so we can go to bed."
Forty minutes later they were back in bed, mostly naked, with a bottle of expensive champagne that Morgan had ordered from room service. It wasn't much past lunch time, but after the morning they'd had, Morgan didn't see anything wrong with them getting utterly drunk on champagne and spending the rest of the day in bed. He had a feeling Reid wouldn't argue, either.
He snuggled closer to Reid, sliding his free hand into the long, silky hair. "I love you," he murmured.
"Mmm," Reid hummed, kissing Morgan and tasting the champagne on his tongue. "Thank you," he breathed. The champagne was a little extravagant, but it wasn't as though they couldn't afford it, and it was nice of Morgan. It was romantic in a completely Morgan sort of way.
Morgan smiled. "You're welcome," he said. His voice went a little teasing as he added, "You like me, at least a little, don't you?" He knew damn well that Reid loved him, but honestly he sort of needed to hear it for some reason. Maybe because it was still possible Reid would freak out if his mother didn't approve. Maybe just because they'd had a bad day.
Reid blinked at Morgan a moment, his expression going serious. The words weren't easy to say, and they still frightened Reid a little, but he never wanted Morgan to doubt what Reid felt for him. "I love you," he said, holding Morgan's gaze.
Morgan's smile warmed and he stroked his thumb across Reid's cheek. "Sometimes I like hearing you say that," he murmured, and kissed him softly.
"M'sorry," Reid murmured, cupping Morgan's jaw and kissing him again. God, he wanted more champagne.
"Don't apologize," Morgan whispered. "I know you love me. I just wanted you to say it." Sometimes he still surprised himself at the relative ease he felt, being emotionally open--vulnerable--with Reid. But even before they began their romantic involvement, Reid had been the person he'd confided in most, after Penelope. "You're so wonderful, Spencer."
Reid snorted, and kissed Morgan again, sliding his arms around Morgan's waist. "I'm glad you think so."
"Mmm." Morgan thought kissing was a better idea than answering that, so he spent several minutes kissing as much of Reid as he could reach without moving. He loved the noises Reid made when Morgan sucked lightly.
Reid moaned softly, sinking into a more relaxed position in bed with Morgan, enjoying the play of Morgan's tongue against his. "Mmm, I want another glass," he murmured when he pulled away. "And more of you, and maybe we should just stay in bed the rest of the day and rent dirty movies."
Morgan laughed and reached for the bottle. "Or we could just act out our own dirty movies," he teased as he poured them both more champagne.
Reid grinned, thankful that Morgan knew he was teasing, because if Morgan had actually taken him seriously, it would have been an embarrassing evening. "I like your idea better, actually."
"Excellent." Morgan kissed Reid, then settled down next to him again.
Reid collapsed on the bed, a thin sheen of sweat across his forehead and his breath hard, though he was grinning lazily. Morgan had done a brilliant job of exhausting him, as usual, and his entire body was tingling with the after effects of orgasm, endorphins streaming through his system. "Mmph. Morgan," he murmured, unable to think as he caught his breath. "That was... acrobatic," he added after a moment, grinning.
"Yeah, so don't ever imply I'm too old for something again," Morgan teased, stroking a hand lazily over Reid's back. He loved the expression on Reid's face, the way orgasm left him unable to worry about anything, or even think. Morgan was of the opinion that Reid worried far too much.
Reid turned his head to smile at Morgan. "I only do it because it gets me sex like that," he said, kissing Morgan even as he found the smile on his face impossible to wipe off.
Morgan laughed into the kiss and wrapped his arms around Reid to hold him close. "Manipulative man. It's a good thing you're so damn sexy when you're 'handling' me."
Reid laughed against Morgan's lips. "It's lucky for me you think so." Reid's hand slid down until it was cupping Morgan's ass.
"Mmm, you're always proving me right," Morgan said. He buried his face in Reid's hair. "I hope the day never comes that I can't prove you wrong about that 'old' part."
"It'll come," Reid murmured, and was about to assure Morgan they had a long time before then, but swallowed the words. Promises of a lifetime were more frightening as saying 'I love you', even if Reid wished it would happen. He kissed Morgan again, hoping to distract them both.
Morgan closed his eyes, savoring the kiss. He knew the only way to really prove to Reid that he wasn't leaving was to not leave, every day of their lives. And sometimes the thought of 'the rest of their lives' scared the shit out of him. He didn't say anything when the kiss ended, but he did settle down next to Reid, still holding him close.
Reid sighed and relaxed against Morgan, resting his head against Morgan's shoulder. "Thank you," he whispered.
"Mmm, for what?" Morgan asked, stroking his hand along Reid's back. He didn't open his eyes.
Reid brushed his fingertips down Morgan's side and closed his eyes. "Not freaking out," he murmured, trying to ignore the uncomfortable roll of his stomach.
Morgan held in a sigh. Reid was thinking again. "Spencer, even if I didn't care about you too much to freak out, I do come in contact with people all the time who have worse conditions than your mother and are violent about it. Anyway, what were you expecting? You think I was going to suddenly realize your mom's schizophrenic and decide to hightail it back to Virginia?"
Reid pulled back to look at Morgan. "You're not intimately involved with the children of those people." He sighed, and rested he head back where it was. "I'm not sure what I was expecting. Something... else."
Morgan wondered if it was Reid's mother, or if Reid was thinking about himself, about the possibility that someday he would start exhibiting symptoms of schizophrenia as well. It wasn't a pleasant thought, but it wasn't going to make Morgan freak out, either. He stroked his hand over Reid's hair and sighed. "I love you. I intend to love you until I die. I can't cure your mother's illness, so I have to accept it. That's just how it is." He kept his eyes closed and his voice calm, and pretended his heart hadn't just suddenly kicked into overdrive because of what he'd said.
Reid drew a short breath that felt a little like an almost-sob. 'Love you until I die'. He bit his lips together and and closed his arms around Morgan tightly, burying his face in Morgan's neck.
Morgan tightened his arms around Reid. He thought that was a good reaction. He hoped so.
"You'd better not say things like that unless you mean them," Reid breathed finally, once he thought he could speak again, when the knot in his throat started to loosen.
"Of course I mean it," Morgan said quietly. "I'd sort of thought you might have figured that out by now, honestly." He turned his head enough to kiss Reid's hair.
"I'd hoped," Reid breathed. "I don't really like assuming things like that."
Morgan smiled. "Silly boy. I wouldn't have started anything with you if I didn't expect it to be serious." He cleared his throat. "So of course I wasn't going to freak out."
Reid drew a deep breath and reached up to stroke his fingers over Morgan's jaw. "You still... nevermind." He kissed Morgan's neck and sighed, letting himself relax a bit, though he wished his chest wasn't aching. "I love you."
Morgan's smile widened. "I know," he whispered, stroking Reid's hair again. Maybe Reid would be able to sleep now. Morgan could feel the tension seeping out of Reid's muscles. It always made him angry when he realized how many fears Reid had, how many times he'd been hurt in the past. But for all he'd been through, there was still more innocence about him than most people Morgan knew. It always made Morgan that much more determined to never let him down.
"Good." Reid wrapped one of his legs between Morgan's and tried to focus on how good this felt, rather than worrying... which wasn't easy to do, but the bed was warm and he still had a little bit of champagne in him. "What happens to us if that happens to me?"
"What do you mean what happens to us? Nothing happens to us." Morgan opened his eyes and scowled at the top of Reid's hair. "What part of 'until I die' did you not understand, genius?" Despite the words, his tone was warm. "I love you doesn't mean 'unless you get sick' or 'unless I meet someone else' or 'unless you lose your job'. It means I love you. I may not always do a great job, but I'll never give up."
Reid pulled back and fixed Morgan with a look, not missing the way Morgan's brows were drawn together. "If one day you came to my apartment and I didn't recognize you..." he started and then stopped, because he really didn't want to end what had been a good evening like this and he didn't want to re-hash the afternoon. He found himself inclined to say things like this though, from time to time, and when he stepped back, he knew he was trying to see if he could scare Morgan away. He licked his lips and shook his head, glancing away. "Nevermind."
Morgan sighed and drew Reid back down into his arms. "I'll still recognize you," he said, making his voice firm despite knowing it was a very real fear. "Now shut up, you know I hate all this sappy shit." He kissed Reid's hair again and wrapped himself around Reid, reassuring him physically despite his words.
Reid sighed and let Morgan hold him for a moment, almost glad that Morgan was making an attempt to stop the direction of this conversation. After a few minutes of silence, as Reid listened to Morgan's breath and tried to relax to the soothing in and out of it, his lips curled slightly. "You're sappier than I am."
"Shh, don't tell anyone that," Morgan said, sliding a hand down to cover Reid's mouth. He chuckled and shifted to look at Reid. "Do we have any more champagne? I could find some strawberries and whipped cream."
Reid stuck his tongue out and licked Morgan's hand, and then laughed softly. "There's more champagne. The rest sounds sticky."
Morgan laughed and pulled his hand back. "Fine, let's finish off the bottle, and then we'll see if someone as inexperienced as you can keep me interested in sex for a while longer."
Reid grinned. "Right. Well, we'll see if you can keep up with me, old man."
Part Two
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Pairing/characters: Morgan/Reid, Diana Reid
Rating: PG-13/FRT
Summary: Reid and Morgan go to Vegas so Morgan can "meet" Diana Reid again, this time as Reid's boyfriend.
Word count: ~16,000 (both parts)
Spoilers to: The Fisher King, part two (also an isty bitsy spoiler for The Big Game/Revelations)
Notes: Est. relationship. Written for the M/R Summer Vacation Challenge (Aug '08) @
morganreid_cm. Written in RP format. If you find any glaring errors, feel free to point them out! :DReid's mother never returned his letters. He never expected her to, but that fact seemed inescapable now. He'd told her months ago he'd been dating a man--more specifically Derek Morgan, whom she'd met before. He'd told her pretty much as soon as it happened. He never could keep secrets from her, even as a child. Of course, because she never returned his letters, he had no idea how she had taken the idea that her son was... well, not gay, but flexible that way.
And now Morgan had come up with the idea of going to Vegas for a week over the summer, and Reid didn't have the heart to say no, even when the very idea of taking his lover to "meet" his mother filled him with apprehension.
He'd spent most of the night tossing in bed, and when Morgan finally rolled over and wrapped his arms around Reid, Reid settled. But he didn't sleep.
"S'wrong?" Morgan mumbled finally. Reid had been tossing and turning all night, and Morgan was going to have a bruise on his hip where a bony knee had made contact. He'd finally roused himself enough to try to calm Reid down. Of course it was nerves about going back home--about taking Morgan back home--so the only thing Morgan could really do was distract him.
Reid sighed. Maybe he should just get up, and then at least one of them would be rested tomorrow. "Nothing. Sorry," he murmured, stroking his fingers over one of Morgan's hands where it was draped over Reid's waist. "Might get up and read, though." Of course, reading wouldn't distract him long, but he did have that chess set in the living room.
"Mmm." Morgan sighed and rolled over on top of Reid. "Liar." He kissed Reid teasingly, then nuzzled at his jaw. "Nervous?"
Reid closed his eyes and drew a deep breath, liking the attention even if he did feel guilty for keeping Morgan awake. "Yes," he said. "But you should sleep."
Morgan snorted. "I can't sleep if you're awake," he murmured. "Especially the way you take up more than your share of the bed when you're awake." He kissed along Reid's jaw, enjoying the warmth and the dimness of the room.
"Sorry," Reid breathed. "That's why I said I could go read." Reid slid his hand up Morgan's back, liking the way his strong body felt over him. It felt safe. Usually it felt safe enough to douse Reid's nightmares, but this worry wasn't exactly a nightmare. It ran deeper than simple, uncomplicated fear.
"Don't be silly." Morgan smiled and nibbled at Reid's skin, shifting lazily against him. "I'll just distract you." He stroked a hand along Reid's side. "Beautiful boy."
Reid laughed softly, but ran his hand down to cup Morgan's ass. "You know, sex doesn't fix everything."
"No, but it takes your mind off things," Morgan replied. "Would you rather I get up and play chess with you?" He would get his ass handed to him if he did. He rarely beat Reid at chess. Still, he didn't mind, if it would help.
"I'd feel better if you'd go back to sleep so I don't have to add guilt to the list of things I wish I wasn't feeling right now." Reid turned his head and kissed Morgan, then canted one hip up to indicate Morgan should roll off him and sleep.
"Mmm, bossy," Morgan murmured, licking Reid's ear. He rolled off Reid but snuggled up next to him and wrapped his arms around him again. "It'll be fine," he said, his lips still against Reid's ear. "She's had months to get used to the idea. Anyway, she can't think you having a gay affair with a black man is a government conspiracy, so we ought to be all right." He made his voice warm, hoping Reid wouldn't mind him sort of joking about Diana Reid's paranoia.
Reid's lips thinned. "Probably not, but you'd be surprised what she could think." He licked his lips and quietly prayed that his mother wasn't having one of her episodes. If she was... "Morgan, this could be a waste of time. You-- you know that, right?" he whispered.
"Hey." Morgan tightened his arms around Reid. "Spencer, no matter how things go, this trip is not a waste of time. You love your mom. So this is important." He kissed Reid's neck and smiled. "Because I love you."
Reid sighed and settled, letting himself relax a bit. "I know," he breathed. "Go back to sleep." He wondered if he could slip out of Morgan's arms once Morgan was out again.
"You first," Morgan said lightly, though he had a feeling Reid wasn't going to sleep. Morgan pressed his face against Reid's neck and exhaled slowly, relaxing against him. He slept best when he was curled up with Reid.
Reid rolled his eyes, but stayed still and quiet--well, outwardly quiet, anyway. When Morgan's breathing slowed, Reid slipped out from his arms and wandered out to the living room, where he played chess with himself for a while.
It was a few hours later that he heard the alarm go off in the bedroom and Morgan mumble a groggy 'good morning' down the hallway on his way to the shower. Reid started breakfast, trying to take comfort in how this felt, being together like this, and not think about their impending trip.
Morgan came out a while later, showered and shaved and wearing only his jeans. He went straight for the coffee and filled his mug, then looped an arm around Reid's stomach and kissed the back of his neck. "You didn't sleep at all last night, did you?" he murmured, closing his eyes.
"Mmm, no," Reid said. Oddly, he didn't feel tired. He still felt too nervous to relax, but he leaned back into Morgan's embrace anyway. "Not much."
Morgan smiled. "You'll fall asleep on the plane and I'll be bored," he teased. He hoped Reid would sleep on the plane, just so he wouldn't be utterly exhausted when they got to Vegas. He hummed and kissed Reid's cheek. He still had moments when it hit him how lucky he was that Reid was with him.
"I'm not tired." Reid took the pan off the heat and turned in Morgan's arms to kiss him. "I'm sure I could still beat you at poker."
"Ooh, them's fighting words, kid," Morgan murmured against Reid's lips. He pulled Reid closer, relishing the feel of Reid's lean, hard body against his.
Reid laughed softly, feeling a little more at ease now. Morgan was always more affectionate when going to sleep, half-sleeping, and when just waking up, and it was always nice. Reid pressed his cheek to Morgan's and drew in a deep breath. "Mmm, Morgan."
"I love you," Morgan whispered, closing his eyes. He'd never thought of himself as a sappy sort of person, but he thought Reid needed to hear those words, so he tried to say them a lot. After a moment he pulled back enough to take a gulp of coffee. "I love your coffee, too."
"Folgers," Reid murmured, and kissed Morgan again, stroking his fingers up Morgan's back. He smiled at Morgan, always happy when Morgan said he loved him, and Reid knew Morgan knew the feeling was mutual, even if the words didn't roll so easily off Reid's lips as they did Morgan's. He was pretty sure they both knew there was a tiny part of Reid that was afraid to say the words, as if it was an invitation for that love to become damaged like Reid had seen so many times before. He leaned in and kissed Morgan tenderly, dipping his tongue into Morgan's mouth, tasting the coffee on his tongue, then pulled back with a contented sigh. "Can you finish up breakfast while I shower?" he murmured.
"Sure." Morgan brushed his thumb along Reid's cheekbone, then shooed him off to the shower. When Reid came back some time later, Morgan had finished two cups of coffee and had breakfast set out on the table.
Reid smiled as he settled at the table, running his fingers through his damp hair. He didn't feel the need to talk as they ate, and his thoughts drifted back to his mother and how this was going to go.
Morgan hooked his ankle around Reid's under the table, enjoying this. Mornings together were his favorite times, the quiet, comfortable way they could sit together and not have to talk to enjoy each other's company. If anyone had told him two years ago that he would have a relationship like this, he wouldn't have believed it. More than that, he wouldn't have understood. But with Reid, it always just felt natural. When Morgan had to refill his coffee, he brought the pot over to refresh Reid's cup before sitting down again; it had just become second nature to think of Reid as well as himself.
"Thanks," Reid murmured, smiling at Morgan. He sopped up the last of his egg yolks with his toast and sighed. "Are we all packed?"
"I think so, but you'd better make sure I've got everything you want." Morgan grinned. "I'm not sure I packed my handcuffs," he added, teasingly.
Reid's smile widened and he lifted an eyebrow. "I'll pack mine," he teased back.
The flight to Vegas was uneventful. Reid actually lost a game of cards to Morgan as the comforting lull of the plane--familiar, he could always sleep on the jet--started to drown out the worry buzzing through his mind. He eventually did sleep, his feet on the seat, knees bent and partially in Morgan's lap.
When they landed, he groggily tried to fumble their carry-on luggage out of the overhead compartment until Morgan got it down with much more ease. Reid wasn't even sure he was entirely awake by the time they made it to the hotel, and he wasn't ready to face his mother yet. He collapsed on the bed with a groan, face down, the noise muffled into the pillow. "You shouldn't have let me sleep," he murmured, pretty sure it was unintelligible.
"What's that?" Morgan dropped to the bed next to him and rubbed a hand over Reid's back. Reid mumbled the words again, a little louder.
"I thought you needed it," Morgan said. "Besides, you were unbearably cute, curled up like that. The girl across the aisle from us kept making these silly faces at me, like, 'Oh, aren't you sweet!'" He snickered.
"Ugh," Reid moaned into the pillow, then rolled to look up at Morgan without bothering to brush his hair out of his face. "I won't be able to wake up now... and you are sweet."
"Ha, she meant you." Morgan leaned down and kissed Reid, then rolled onto his back. "Let's just go to bed. I'll call room service later for supper, and we can go see your mom in the morning." Now that it came down to it, Morgan was a little nervous about this, even if it had been his idea.
Reid smiled and rolled toward Morgan. He suspected Morgan was finally starting to get nervous, if his inclination to stay in tonight had anything to with it. "We don't have to go at all. I didn't tell her we were coming," he said... and then instantly felt bad, his smile falling off. He knew he shouldn't have left himself an out, but he had. He hoped Morgan wasn't going to call him on it.
Morgan laughed and wrapped his arms around Reid. "You know, if I didn't know better, I'd think you're ashamed of me, pretty boy," he teased. He kissed Reid again. "No, we should go. But we don't have to go today, if you're tired." He wound a leg around Reid's. "Mmm, as a matter of fact, I sorta like the idea of us staying in and having a little quality time together."
Reid sucked in a breath at the way Morgan pulled him close with one strong leg, then he brushed his lips against Morgan's. "You do know it's not you, right?"
"I know that," Morgan said, surprised. "You remember how nervous I was about telling my mom." He left unspoken the last part of that thought--and she's not even schizophrenic--but he knew they both heard it anyway. "It's just...awkward." He kissed Reid, more hungrily this time.
"Mmm," Reid hummed into the kiss, willing to let the subject drop now, not wanting to discuss the differences in their mothers. "So what was that about quality time?"
Morgan laughed and rolled them over so Reid was on top of him. "I was just thinking we could wear each other out so we both sleep well tonight," he murmured. He slid a hand down so he could squeeze Reid's ass.
Reid centered his weight on top of Morgan, his fingertips brushing Morgan's face. "I don't know if you're up for that challenge," he breathed, kissing Morgan hard and then pulling away too teasingly soon.
"Oh, you don't think so?" Morgan said, arching an eyebrow. He grabbed Reid around the waist and rolled them again, pinning Reid to the mattress. "Well, after a couple minutes with you, I'm sure to be up for it," he murmured, and kissed him back.
Reid reached down and squeezed Morgan's ass, pulling their hips together. "I'm sure you will."
*****
After multiple rounds of sex and a heavy meal from room service, Reid slept far better their first night in Vegas than he'd slept the night before. He woke groggily with his arm draped around Morgan. "No one sleeps in L's Vegas. Obviously not sleeping with you. Mmph, wait, no, tha's New York," he mumbled, mostly asleep. "Nev'mind."
Morgan just grunted and buried his face against Reid's hair. A minute later he muttered, "Thought it was never night in Vegas."
"I know..." Reid snuggled closer to Morgan. "Never sleeps is New York. Just mumbling. S'rry."
"Mmm." Morgan smiled and stroked a hand sleepily over Reid's skin. He loved waking up like this after he'd got Reid to sleep naked. And he was extremely glad to be waking to sunshine instead of the middle of the night.
Reid pressed his face against Morgan's skin and inhaled deeply, loving the drowsy feeling between them. "Can we stay here all day?"
Morgan chuckled. "Not all day. Gotta go see your mom." He turned his head to kiss Reid's neck, letting his tongue slide lazily over the warm skin.
The surge of nervousness that hit Reid was immediate, and he started to rouse fully, but Morgan's tongue felt good against his skin. He pulled Morgan closer, and hummed. "Mmm'okay," he said, then sighed and rolled away to look at Morgan.
"Where you going?" Morgan asked, his voice more than a little plaintive. He'd hoped Reid would stay there so they could enjoy 'sleeping in' for a while. He lifted his head from the pillow, frowning.
Reid breathed a laugh, always amused by how clingy Morgan could be in the morning. Reid sometimes forgot, but Morgan usually reminded him, as he was now. "I'm'wake now," he murmured, but shifted back towards Morgan again.
Morgan huffed at him but wrapped his arms around Reid and closed his eyes again. "So'm I, but doesn't mean you have to move," he muttered. Morgan was anything but a morning person, as far as actually being awake and out of bed was concerned. He liked being awake early if Reid was in bed with him and they didn't have to get up. That was it. He gave a sleepy sigh and then snuggled a little closer again.
Reid smiled and turned his head to kiss Morgan's forehead. "You're so demanding," he complained, a note of teasing in his voice. He squeezed Morgan, pulling him into a tight embrace and loving how utterly different from himself Morgan felt in his arms. "Do you want me to go get breakfast?" he breathed, if just to hear Morgan tell him to stay put again.
"Nnnuh," Morgan said, and tightened his arms around Reid. "Want you right where you are." Sometimes he suspected Reid did this on purpose--he seemed amused by Morgan's attitude toward mornings--but he never bothered expending the energy to argue about it. He just draped a leg over Reid's legs and rested his head on Reid's shoulder, which was enough to make it difficult for Reid to actually leave the bed.
Reid's smiled turned into a grin, and he relaxed again--he might as well, considering he couldn't move. He sighed and pressed his lips to Morgan's forehead, wanting to tell Morgan how much he enjoyed this, how much he loved this. He was quiet for a long moment, then drew a deep breath. "Thank you for loving me," he whispered.
Morgan was silent for a while, enjoying those words. He knew why Reid didn't say them often, and he understood...but it was nice when Reid acknowledged that he understood. "Always," he breathed finally. He smiled, not opening his eyes, and let himself drift hazily back toward sleep.
Reid stayed in bed for a long while after Morgan fell back to sleep, trying to let the feeling of contentment settle in him, rather than worry over how the day was going to go. Eventually his worry won out, though, and he slipped from bed and made coffee, then grabbed a key and went down for breakfast, which he brought back to the room so that Morgan could eat. He hoped the smell of it would wake Morgan up, and was pleased when it did.
About an hour later, they were getting dressed, and Reid found himself staring at himself in the mirror, brushing his hair for what was probably the first time in months and frowning at his reflection. "I need to cut my hair," he murmured to himself, and immediately knew he didn't really want to cut it, but he felt like he needed to before he went to see his mother anyway.
Morgan stopped brushing his teeth to inspect Reid's reflection. He spit into the sink and shook his head. "I like your hair." He liked the way it curled at the nape of Reid's neck, and the way it felt between Morgan's fingers. And he didn't like the way Reid looked with short hair. He looked younger...nerdier.
"She's going to hate it," Reid said, and considered pulling it back, but decided against it.
"No she won't," Morgan said, though he honestly had no idea what Diana Reid would think about...well, anything. Hell, he was half afraid she might throw curses or even books at him the minute she saw him. It was always possible she thought he'd corrupted her beautiful, genius son. Oh, God, now Morgan was getting nervous again. He rubbed a palm across his jaw and looked past Reid into the mirror. "Should I shave?"
Reid nodded. "Yes." There was no hesitation in his answer, but no force either. Whether Morgan listened to Reid was up to Morgan. After a moment though, he wondered if that yes was asking too much anyway. He reached up and touched Morgan's jaw. "No." He pulled a face. "Do whatever you want."
Morgan tilted his face into Reid's touch. "Do you want me to shave?" he asked, rephrasing it intentionally.
"Do what you want," Reid repeated, then tried on a smile and leaned in to kiss Morgan, hoping it would calm them both.
When the kiss ended, Morgan grinned and wiped toothpaste off Reid's mouth. "I'll shave. Won't take me long." He ran his fingers through Reid's hair, loosening it a little from the slicked-back look. "And no last-minute haircuts."
Twenty minutes and a valet parking stub later Reid had changed his shirt twice and Morgan was shaved and wearing a tie for the first time in weeks, if not months. He was also wishing he hadn't had quite so many cups of coffee, because his stomach felt jumpy. It was bad enough meeting your lover's mother, but when you added in the fact that your lover's mother was a paranoid schizophrenic...well, it was downright nerve-wracking.
Morgan forced himself to stop bouncing his leg nervously and glanced over at Reid, who didn't seem properly excited about being behind the wheel of a sporty convertible in Las Vegas.
Reid couldn't quite manage to quiet all the noise in his head. This always--always--happened when he went to see his mother. The wheels started turning and they usually didn't stop until he was settled in with her and knew how she was feeling on any given day. He wondered idly if Morgan would let him go back and change his shirt again, but then decided he was fine.
The drive to Bennington Sanitarium was mostly silent, which didn't really help either of them feel any better, Reid was sure... but he wasn't exactly sure what to say. He felt oddly compelled to tell Morgan about the first time he'd been to the place, but also, oddly, really didn't want to talk about it.
Morgan couldn't bring himself to make small talk, but he didn't think either of them wanted to talk about what they would do if Diana was having a bad day, or if she was having a good day and still threw them out, or anything like that. He tried not to close himself off, but he kept finding his gaze drawn off out the window. Finally he rested a hand on Reid's thigh and left it there, which made him feel better about staring blankly out the window and not talking.
Reid sighed and curled his fingers around Morgan's hand, feeling a little better for the contact. After a moment, he swallowed hard, and finally said what he was thinking, feeling a little better about talking now that Morgan was touching him. "I wish this was normal."
Morgan looked back over at Reid. "Normal how?" Do you mean you wish your mom wasn't crazy, or that it was normal for two men to be together?
Reid frowned. "Just normal." He shrugged and took a turn down a still familiar street, taking them farther out of the city and into a more residential area. "I guess if it was, things wouldn't be the same, but..." He shrugged again. Of course, sometimes Reid thought it might have been better if things weren't 'the same', but he probably wouldn't have had Morgan if things were different. "I wish things were normal for you, more than myself."
Morgan tightened his hand on Reid's. "Hey, I wouldn't know what to do with normal if I had it," he said lightly. "Look, I love you. And your mom is part of you. You know I'm in this for real, okay, for the long haul. I don't like that things are so hard on you, but I'm not afraid of it." It wasn't entirely true--he was scared as hell about some things in their relationship, but they were things completely out of human control, for the most part, so he lived with it.
"Then why am I?" Reid asked, not expecting an answer. It didn't really make sense, considering he knew Morgan wasn't going to leave him no matter what happened today, that Reid was still afraid of what might happen. But the fear was there, and Reid had to wonder if he'd ever really believe anyone would stay with him 'for the long haul'. He pulled his hand from Morgan's to help him drive. "Sorry."
Morgan shook his head. "You don't have to apologize to me. Whatever happens happens." He glanced out the window again, feeling like he ought to keep talking now that the silence had been broken. "How long has your mom lived here?"
"I was eighteen when I-- when she--" Reid shifted in his seat and accelerated, in spite of not really wanting to get there faster. "Eight years."
Morgan cleared his throat, noting the acceleration. Maybe it had been a bad idea to keep talking. Maybe he should tell Reid they didn't have to do this. Maybe he should just shut up. He squeezed Reid's thigh lightly and didn't say anything.
Reid glanced at Morgan, feeling bad because he'd obviously made Morgan uncomfortable again. He didn't say anything else, though, and the rest of the drive was silent again.
When they pulled up at the sanitarium, Reid fussed with his clothes the entire walk through the parking lot, tugging his cardigan and tie straight at least three times each. "Welcome to my yearly vacation," he said wryly, his smile a little self-deprecating. Morgan may have suggested it this time, but Reid did pretty much do this every year when he had time off.
Morgan got in front of Reid and stopped him with hands on his shoulders. "Spencer," he murmured, meeting his gaze. "Thank you." He forced himself not to look around and see if anyone was around before he leaned in and placed a quick kiss on Reid's lips. He was still learning not to feel self-conscious about the way people looked at them sometimes.
Reid offered Morgan a tiny smile, but he still felt his cheeks heat a little. It wasn't often that they got to be affectionate in public, due to their jobs, and it felt strange to do so here, but Reid wasn't about to say anything. He appreciated the effort he knew it took for Morgan to do that too much. "Don't thank me yet," he said, his smile a little stronger, even if it was tinged with sadness.
"I'm grateful that you're sharing this with me," Morgan said, his voice firm. Even if everything goes badly. He tilted his head toward the building. "Come on, let's get in there. The anticipation isn't going to get any better."
Reid drew a deep breath and nodded, then started into the building ahead of Morgan. A short blonde woman behind the front desk greeted him with a smile when he walked in the door. "Dr. Reid," she said brightly.
"Margorie," Reid greeted. "How many times am I going to have to tell you to call me Spencer?" Most of the people that had been working here since he was a teenager already did anyway.
Margorie laughed. "All right, fine. Spencer." She glanced at Morgan. "You must be Derek," she said, and winked at him. "I've heard about you."
"Good things or bad things?" Reid asked.
Margorie smiled and reached out to squeeze Reid's hand. "Come on, I'll take you two back."
Morgan grinned. "Oh, come on, you know it's all been good things," he said teasingly. He turned his grin on Margorie. "Or if it's not good, he's been lying about me." He was pleased that she laughed at that. He relaxed a little as they followed Margorie through the halls. If he'd been greeted like that, Diana must not have too much of a problem with him. Hopefully. At least, he hoped Margorie would warn them otherwise.
A couple of people greeted Reid as they walked, and he offered them each a tiny wave, but he felt his chest get tighter as they got closer to the common area, where he was fairly certain his mom would be sitting, as Randall Garner put it, in "her window".
"How's she doing?" he asked.
"I've been at the front all day," Margorie said, and patted his shoulder as they came to a stop. "I'd tell you she talks about you all the time, but I'm sure you've heard it. She'll be glad to see you," she added, smiling at Morgan before she walked away.
Reid looked in the room at the back of his mother's head for a long moment. She was exactly where she was sitting the last three times he'd visited. He glanced at Morgan.
Morgan gave Reid an encouraging smile and touched the small of his back briefly. He didn't know what to say, so he kept silent.
Reid nodded at nothing in particular and turned back to his mom. It took him a moment to get his feet to actually listen to his brain, but he eventually walked over to where she was sitting, trying not to startle her. He glanced at Morgan, then pulled a chair over to sit, but as soon as she turned her gaze on him, he could tell something was wrong. "Hi, mom."
Diana fixed Reid with a sharp eye, her expression almost discerning, but not quite. After a moment, she noticed the man standing slightly behind him, and looked his direction too, then back at Reid. "What do you want?"
Reid cleared his throat and shifted slightly in his seat. He'd seen this before, and had a feeling he knew what her next question would be, but fought to hope otherwise. "We came to see you."
"Who are you?" she asked, her tone almost accusatory.
Exactly what Reid expected. His heart sank a little, but this was at least better than some of her episodes could get. He smiled at her, trying to put her at ease. "Spencer, mom."
Diana's eyes narrowed, and for a long moment, she didn't speak, she just stared at him. When she spoke again, her tone was just barely softer. "I have a son named Spencer," she informed him.
Reid nodded, then glanced at Morgan, half to assure himself that Morgan wasn't freaking out, then looked back at his mom. He nearly said 'I know', but then thought better of possibly making her paranoid, thinking he--someone she didn't know, at least not right now--had been watching her. "Do you?" he asked.
Morgan pulled a chair over, too, and sat down near Spencer, though he was careful not to sit too close. He smiled in greeting at her, but wasn't sure what to say. Finally he settled on, "What's he like?"
Both Reids turned a sharp gaze on Morgan for two totally different reasons, but Diana spoke first, her tone clipped. "Who are you?"
Apparently that hadn't been the right thing to say. Maybe he should have kept his mouth shut. Derek glanced at Reid, then smiled at Diana. "Derek Morgan, ma'am. I'm Spencer's friend."
Reid swallowed hard and tried to remind himself that Morgan had asked really the only thing that could be asked, but it still felt a little like Morgan had just asked to see embarrassing baby pictures or something. He glanced up when his mother looked back at him.
"Are you one of Spencer's friends too?" she asked.
"Sort of," Reid said.
She glared at him. "Don't tell me 'sort of'. You either are or you aren't."
"Yes, ma'am. I am," Reid answered quickly.
Diana's brows suddenly clouded over and she looked back at Morgan. "Is he in trouble?"
Morgan tried to make his expression reassuring. "Oh, no, ma'am. I told him I was going to be in Las Vegas on my vacation, and he said you lived here." He glanced at Reid, hoping he was saying the right thing, then looked back at her. "He said you might like to have visitors."
She sat back in her seat, holding Morgan's gaze for a while, then she looked back out the window. Reid licked his lips and glanced at Morgan, wondering if they should go. It was possible that was all they were going to get from his mother today. He sighed and shifted, though, willing to let the silence hang for a while. Sometimes the silence was so familiar it took him back, and he didn't really want to leave her yet now that he was here.
"If you already know him, why are you asking what he's like?" Diana asked, after what seemed like a long pause, though she didn't turn back around to face either of them.
"Because you might answer that question differently than I would," Morgan said, feeling a little more confident. He settled back in his seat. "Friendship and love are very subjective."
Diana's eyebrows lifted, and she considered that for a moment. "Yes, but I wouldn't expect you to understand the love of a mother. Are you two government too?"
"No," Reid said, because as long as she didn't recognize him, they might as well not set her off. "We're not the government."
Morgan shook his head. "Not government, no. But just because I don't understand something, is that a reason to not try?" She'd been a literature professor; he hoped this was the right approach to take in talking to her. "Shouldn't we try to understand things that aren't familiar to us?"
"'Where there is great love, there are always miracles,'" Diana replied, rolling her head to the side to peer at Morgan from the corner of her eye.
"Willa Cather," Reid said, and offered her a smile when she turned to look at him.
"You know her?" she asked.
"One of Ours, 1923 Pulitzer Prize winner," Reid said.
She looked at him, her gaze appraising, then turned back to Morgan. "He was a miracle."
Reid tried not to react at the way she used the past tense.
Morgan smiled, glancing warmly at Reid. Yes, he would agree with that assessment, especially now that he could admit he did believe in miracles. "A miracle." He nodded, turning his gaze back to Diana. "That sounds right." He thought for a moment. "'Mother is the name of God on the lips and hearts of all children,'" he quoted. It wasn't one she would recognize, but Reid liked comic books. He might know it.
Reid couldn't help but smile at that, knowing his mother wouldn't recognize the quote from The Crow. He didn't say anything, though, and the next words out of his mother's mouth made his smile slip off completely.
"Not mine," she said, then turned to gaze out the window again.
"I'm sure that's not true," Reid murmured, but she didn't respond.
"Spencer adores you, ma'am," Morgan said. He was a physical sort of person, but he restrained himself from reaching out to touch her; Spencer had to have come by his general aversion to touch from somewhere. "He always speaks very highly of you. It was why I wanted so much to meet you." He registered the hurt on Spencer's face, but didn't reach out to him, either.
"Actions speak louder than words, though, don't they?" she said. She looked between the two men sitting next to her.
Reid couldn't meet her gaze this time, but he thought he was doing a decent job of keeping the shame and hurt off his face because she wouldn't understand it now. She was usually only passive aggressive about this subject when she was thinking more clearly, when she realized he was standing right in front of her.
"He's as guilt-ridden as his father," she said, then turned back to her window, her expression going empty.
Morgan's brows drew together. When he glanced at Reid he saw that Reid was frowning deeply into his lap, not looking at either of them. "I'm not sure what actions you mean, ma'am," he said quietly. "It was my understanding that Spencer writes to you frequently and comes to visit you whenever he can." Of course there was no way to reason with her, not like this. He hoped that, in her more lucid moments, Diana Reid realized what Spencer had done was for the best.
"Yes, he writes to me," Diana said absently, her voice flat.
Reid glanced back up and watched her for a moment, not bothering to hide the expression on his face now that she was looking away again. "He may not see you often, but comparing him to his father is hardly fair," he said, his voice more vulnerable than he'd meant it to be.
Diana's lips thinned, but she didn't move or say anything. Reid glanced at Morgan, hoping to reassure Morgan he was okay... which he wasn't, but that wasn't the point.
Morgan frowned and curled his hand around Reid's, though he didn't say anything. God, they should go. Obviously this wasn't the sort of visit either of them had had in mind for today. "I'm very glad to meet you, Mrs. Reid," he said finally.
Diana nodded, still staring ahead of her, and Reid gave Morgan's hand a little tug to indicate they should go. They got up and moved their chairs back. Reid started to reach out to touch her shoulder, but stopped himself, reminding himself she didn't know him today and wouldn't appreciate it. Still, he couldn't stop himself from murmuring, "I love you, mom," just before he walked away with Morgan. She didn't react to that either, but Reid was almost glad for it.
Morgan was relieved Reid had decided the visit was over. There had been nothing overtly harrowing about it, but he still felt like he would need to give a lot of love to smooth it over. Not that anything he did could erase pain inflicted on Reid by his mother, but at least Morgan could try to make it easier.
"She wasn't going to say anything else, I don't think," Reid murmured. He was familiar with the way she shut off sometimes, and it seemed to happen more often when his father was mentioned. He was tempted to say they should try again later in their trip; he didn't really want to come and her not remember him being here, but he also didn't want to make Morgan any more uncomfortable right now. He could bring it up later.
Morgan nodded and didn't say anything as they passed Margorie. She waved at them both, which Morgan returned with a smile. When they were outside again, he said, "We should come back tomorrow, if you think a day will make a difference."
Reid looked at Morgan and nodded. "It might not, but I'd like her to remember me being here, if it's at all possible," he said.
"Okay, we'll do that," Morgan said. "In the meantime, though, I need something alcoholic, and you naked in my bed. If that's okay with you." What he really wanted was Reid snuggled up in his arms, being reminded of how wonderful he was, and that he hadn't done anything wrong when he'd decided he couldn't continue to care for his mother at home. But naked and in bed would do for a start.
"We're in Vegas and you want to go to bed?" Reid asked, though truthfully hiding under the covers and letting Morgan distract him from what had just happened sounded wonderful.
"Casinos and poolside lounging can wait," Morgan said. "We're on our first vacation together in months, and I want you in my arms again." He watched Reid as they got in the car and fastened their seatbelts. "She was right, you know," he murmured after a while. "You are a miracle."
Reid felt a little stab of hurt in his stomach, even though Morgan was trying to be nice. "I was a miracle," he said.
"You'll always be a miracle to me," Morgan replied, leaning over and brushing his lips against Reid's. When he pulled away again, he smiled faintly. "Come on, gorgeous, take me back to the hotel so we can go to bed."
Forty minutes later they were back in bed, mostly naked, with a bottle of expensive champagne that Morgan had ordered from room service. It wasn't much past lunch time, but after the morning they'd had, Morgan didn't see anything wrong with them getting utterly drunk on champagne and spending the rest of the day in bed. He had a feeling Reid wouldn't argue, either.
He snuggled closer to Reid, sliding his free hand into the long, silky hair. "I love you," he murmured.
"Mmm," Reid hummed, kissing Morgan and tasting the champagne on his tongue. "Thank you," he breathed. The champagne was a little extravagant, but it wasn't as though they couldn't afford it, and it was nice of Morgan. It was romantic in a completely Morgan sort of way.
Morgan smiled. "You're welcome," he said. His voice went a little teasing as he added, "You like me, at least a little, don't you?" He knew damn well that Reid loved him, but honestly he sort of needed to hear it for some reason. Maybe because it was still possible Reid would freak out if his mother didn't approve. Maybe just because they'd had a bad day.
Reid blinked at Morgan a moment, his expression going serious. The words weren't easy to say, and they still frightened Reid a little, but he never wanted Morgan to doubt what Reid felt for him. "I love you," he said, holding Morgan's gaze.
Morgan's smile warmed and he stroked his thumb across Reid's cheek. "Sometimes I like hearing you say that," he murmured, and kissed him softly.
"M'sorry," Reid murmured, cupping Morgan's jaw and kissing him again. God, he wanted more champagne.
"Don't apologize," Morgan whispered. "I know you love me. I just wanted you to say it." Sometimes he still surprised himself at the relative ease he felt, being emotionally open--vulnerable--with Reid. But even before they began their romantic involvement, Reid had been the person he'd confided in most, after Penelope. "You're so wonderful, Spencer."
Reid snorted, and kissed Morgan again, sliding his arms around Morgan's waist. "I'm glad you think so."
"Mmm." Morgan thought kissing was a better idea than answering that, so he spent several minutes kissing as much of Reid as he could reach without moving. He loved the noises Reid made when Morgan sucked lightly.
Reid moaned softly, sinking into a more relaxed position in bed with Morgan, enjoying the play of Morgan's tongue against his. "Mmm, I want another glass," he murmured when he pulled away. "And more of you, and maybe we should just stay in bed the rest of the day and rent dirty movies."
Morgan laughed and reached for the bottle. "Or we could just act out our own dirty movies," he teased as he poured them both more champagne.
Reid grinned, thankful that Morgan knew he was teasing, because if Morgan had actually taken him seriously, it would have been an embarrassing evening. "I like your idea better, actually."
"Excellent." Morgan kissed Reid, then settled down next to him again.
Reid collapsed on the bed, a thin sheen of sweat across his forehead and his breath hard, though he was grinning lazily. Morgan had done a brilliant job of exhausting him, as usual, and his entire body was tingling with the after effects of orgasm, endorphins streaming through his system. "Mmph. Morgan," he murmured, unable to think as he caught his breath. "That was... acrobatic," he added after a moment, grinning.
"Yeah, so don't ever imply I'm too old for something again," Morgan teased, stroking a hand lazily over Reid's back. He loved the expression on Reid's face, the way orgasm left him unable to worry about anything, or even think. Morgan was of the opinion that Reid worried far too much.
Reid turned his head to smile at Morgan. "I only do it because it gets me sex like that," he said, kissing Morgan even as he found the smile on his face impossible to wipe off.
Morgan laughed into the kiss and wrapped his arms around Reid to hold him close. "Manipulative man. It's a good thing you're so damn sexy when you're 'handling' me."
Reid laughed against Morgan's lips. "It's lucky for me you think so." Reid's hand slid down until it was cupping Morgan's ass.
"Mmm, you're always proving me right," Morgan said. He buried his face in Reid's hair. "I hope the day never comes that I can't prove you wrong about that 'old' part."
"It'll come," Reid murmured, and was about to assure Morgan they had a long time before then, but swallowed the words. Promises of a lifetime were more frightening as saying 'I love you', even if Reid wished it would happen. He kissed Morgan again, hoping to distract them both.
Morgan closed his eyes, savoring the kiss. He knew the only way to really prove to Reid that he wasn't leaving was to not leave, every day of their lives. And sometimes the thought of 'the rest of their lives' scared the shit out of him. He didn't say anything when the kiss ended, but he did settle down next to Reid, still holding him close.
Reid sighed and relaxed against Morgan, resting his head against Morgan's shoulder. "Thank you," he whispered.
"Mmm, for what?" Morgan asked, stroking his hand along Reid's back. He didn't open his eyes.
Reid brushed his fingertips down Morgan's side and closed his eyes. "Not freaking out," he murmured, trying to ignore the uncomfortable roll of his stomach.
Morgan held in a sigh. Reid was thinking again. "Spencer, even if I didn't care about you too much to freak out, I do come in contact with people all the time who have worse conditions than your mother and are violent about it. Anyway, what were you expecting? You think I was going to suddenly realize your mom's schizophrenic and decide to hightail it back to Virginia?"
Reid pulled back to look at Morgan. "You're not intimately involved with the children of those people." He sighed, and rested he head back where it was. "I'm not sure what I was expecting. Something... else."
Morgan wondered if it was Reid's mother, or if Reid was thinking about himself, about the possibility that someday he would start exhibiting symptoms of schizophrenia as well. It wasn't a pleasant thought, but it wasn't going to make Morgan freak out, either. He stroked his hand over Reid's hair and sighed. "I love you. I intend to love you until I die. I can't cure your mother's illness, so I have to accept it. That's just how it is." He kept his eyes closed and his voice calm, and pretended his heart hadn't just suddenly kicked into overdrive because of what he'd said.
Reid drew a short breath that felt a little like an almost-sob. 'Love you until I die'. He bit his lips together and and closed his arms around Morgan tightly, burying his face in Morgan's neck.
Morgan tightened his arms around Reid. He thought that was a good reaction. He hoped so.
"You'd better not say things like that unless you mean them," Reid breathed finally, once he thought he could speak again, when the knot in his throat started to loosen.
"Of course I mean it," Morgan said quietly. "I'd sort of thought you might have figured that out by now, honestly." He turned his head enough to kiss Reid's hair.
"I'd hoped," Reid breathed. "I don't really like assuming things like that."
Morgan smiled. "Silly boy. I wouldn't have started anything with you if I didn't expect it to be serious." He cleared his throat. "So of course I wasn't going to freak out."
Reid drew a deep breath and reached up to stroke his fingers over Morgan's jaw. "You still... nevermind." He kissed Morgan's neck and sighed, letting himself relax a bit, though he wished his chest wasn't aching. "I love you."
Morgan's smile widened. "I know," he whispered, stroking Reid's hair again. Maybe Reid would be able to sleep now. Morgan could feel the tension seeping out of Reid's muscles. It always made him angry when he realized how many fears Reid had, how many times he'd been hurt in the past. But for all he'd been through, there was still more innocence about him than most people Morgan knew. It always made Morgan that much more determined to never let him down.
"Good." Reid wrapped one of his legs between Morgan's and tried to focus on how good this felt, rather than worrying... which wasn't easy to do, but the bed was warm and he still had a little bit of champagne in him. "What happens to us if that happens to me?"
"What do you mean what happens to us? Nothing happens to us." Morgan opened his eyes and scowled at the top of Reid's hair. "What part of 'until I die' did you not understand, genius?" Despite the words, his tone was warm. "I love you doesn't mean 'unless you get sick' or 'unless I meet someone else' or 'unless you lose your job'. It means I love you. I may not always do a great job, but I'll never give up."
Reid pulled back and fixed Morgan with a look, not missing the way Morgan's brows were drawn together. "If one day you came to my apartment and I didn't recognize you..." he started and then stopped, because he really didn't want to end what had been a good evening like this and he didn't want to re-hash the afternoon. He found himself inclined to say things like this though, from time to time, and when he stepped back, he knew he was trying to see if he could scare Morgan away. He licked his lips and shook his head, glancing away. "Nevermind."
Morgan sighed and drew Reid back down into his arms. "I'll still recognize you," he said, making his voice firm despite knowing it was a very real fear. "Now shut up, you know I hate all this sappy shit." He kissed Reid's hair again and wrapped himself around Reid, reassuring him physically despite his words.
Reid sighed and let Morgan hold him for a moment, almost glad that Morgan was making an attempt to stop the direction of this conversation. After a few minutes of silence, as Reid listened to Morgan's breath and tried to relax to the soothing in and out of it, his lips curled slightly. "You're sappier than I am."
"Shh, don't tell anyone that," Morgan said, sliding a hand down to cover Reid's mouth. He chuckled and shifted to look at Reid. "Do we have any more champagne? I could find some strawberries and whipped cream."
Reid stuck his tongue out and licked Morgan's hand, and then laughed softly. "There's more champagne. The rest sounds sticky."
Morgan laughed and pulled his hand back. "Fine, let's finish off the bottle, and then we'll see if someone as inexperienced as you can keep me interested in sex for a while longer."
Reid grinned. "Right. Well, we'll see if you can keep up with me, old man."
Part Two
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Date: 2008-09-11 05:59 am (UTC)This is lovely and so completely what I needed tonight! Thank you!
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Date: 2008-09-11 02:54 pm (UTC)<3
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Date: 2008-09-11 09:44 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-09-11 02:47 pm (UTC)lovelovelovelovelovelove ♥
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Date: 2008-09-11 02:56 pm (UTC)Thank you! Glad you're liking it!
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Date: 2008-09-13 05:11 am (UTC)Having just finished watching The Fisher King (and all the first season) I've had fleeting musings about the likelihood of Spencer having a... mild form of schizophrenia. Especially given comments made in Fisher King and one of the early season 1 episodes... the one with the train wreck.
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Date: 2012-12-06 03:06 am (UTC)