geekystudmuffin | Saying The Words, Hotch/Reid & Jack, PG-13 (Fathers Are Not Born universe)

severity-softly.livejournal.com posting in

Title: Saying The Words
Authors:

severity_softly
Pairing/characters: Hotch/Reid, Jack Hotchner
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Haley invites Aaron and Spencer to Jack's fifth birthday party.
Word count: ~10,000
Notes: Self-beta'd, so feel free to point out any errors. This was supposed to be February's installment, but we got behind--so you guys just get two installments this month. :) Also, we're starting to skip a little farther ahead of current canon time.

This is part of the "Fathers Are Not Born" universe, all of which can be found at this tag. This is part FIVE. Each installment may also be read as a stand alone fic, however it will hopefully add to your enjoyment if you read the series as a whole. :)

It had been a long day at the end of a long week. Spencer had stopped for takeout on the way home, knowing it would take Aaron another twenty minutes to get out of the office, anyway. As he'd expected, Aaron's car was still making the ticking noises of cooling when Spencer came in through the garage and found Aaron standing at the counter with an odd expression on his face. He was staring down at a brightly colored paper in his hands, and Spencer couldn't tell whether he was amused, annoyed, or anxious. Or something else entirely.

"What is it?" Spencer asked, setting the takeout on the counter and wrapping his arms around Aaron.

Aaron made a quiet noise. "Haley's invited us to Jack's birthday party."

Spencer stilled. "Us?" he asked. "Like... both of us?"

"Yeah." He turned the invitation so Spencer could see the hand-written note at the bottom of the invitation. I'm sure it would mean a lot to Jack if Spencer is there.

Spencer stared at it, then coughed. "I-- I guess so." He pursed his lips. "She doesn't really want me there, though."

"Well, it's not her party, it's Jack's," Aaron replied. He turned and slid an arm around Spencer's shoulder. "And you're part of Jack's life."

"Yeah, I know, but... it'll be uncomfortable." Spencer sighed and buried his face against Aaron's neck. "Do you think Jack would be upset if I didn't come?"

He felt Aaron sigh, but then fingers were stroking his hair softly. "I don't know," Aaron said after a while. "Maybe not at the time. Birthday parties are a lot of sensory overload for small kids. But then again, if I show up alone, he'll probably ask where you are, and then I'd have to explain."

"Spencer's sick?" Spencer suggested. His chest ached a little when he said it, but he tried to ignore it. An afternoon with Haley sounded bad. Add to that Haley's boyfriend and Haley's family, and probably a whole group of kids. And then there would be questioning looks at him and Aaron.

Spencer sighed and tightened his hold on Aaron.

"She's trying, Spencer," Aaron said quietly. The way he ignored Spencer's suggestion made it clear he wouldn't lie to his son, even to make him feel better about Spencer's absence. "I need you to try a little bit, too."

Spencer felt a little flash of irritation. He pulled back to look at Aaron. "You think I'm not trying?" he accused.

"That isn't what I meant," Aaron said quickly, as if realizing he'd mis-stepped. "I think you're wonderful with Jack, you know that. I just mean...with Haley, if you could just...make an effort to meet her half-way..."

"I've bent more than she has, Aaron, and you know that," Spencer snapped, and pulled away to cross his arms over himself. "I've been trying with her. If she was trying, she would have said 'bring Spencer', not 'Jack would like it if you brought Spencer'," he argued.

Aaron looked as if he were sorry he'd said anything. "I'm not asking either of you to like each other. I'm well aware that's unlikely. I understand. But she invited you, and even if you don't like the way she phrased it, it's better than the way she used to be, when she was angry about the idea of Jack telling people his dad loved another man."

"Oh, like she's going to be any happier when they start asking questions. When the kids at the party ask questions," Spencer said. "Aaron, it's not like it's going to be just us, her and Jack."

Aaron shook his head. "When was the last time you were at a kid's birthday party?" he asked, and his voice wasn't unkind, but Spencer still didn't like the implication. "They won't care who any of the adults are. Some of them will recognize me and Haley, most of them won't, and none of them will care."

Spencer clenched his jaw, wondering how this had turned into an argument... Oh, right. Aaron had said he wasn't trying. Spencer's lips thinned, and he stared down at the invitation. "Even the way her handwriting slants changes when she mentions me," he muttered, indicating the difference, and then started out to the living room without waiting for an reply.

Aaron didn't follow Spencer out into the living room right away, and for a minute Spencer thought he was just going to let him leave the argument. Then Aaron came out, frowning. "Look, I'm sorry. We don't need to discuss this right now."

"Good," Spencer said, and flipped on the TV.

"Didn't you bring supper?" Aaron said. "Do you want to eat it out here?"

Spencer frowned. He had been hungry and he still was. But he'd stormed out of the kitchen and proceeded to sulk, and going back into the kitchen to get food now seemed like giving in. "I'm not really all that hungry anyway," he lied.

Aaron snorted and went back into the kitchen without saying anything. Spencer just glared at the TV, surfing channels and growing annoyed when he couldn't find something that looked interesting. He was still irritably flipping through them when Aaron came back several minutes later carrying a tray with two loaded plates and two glasses of iced tea.

He put the tray on the coffee table and sat on the couch next to Spencer without speaking.

Spencer pursed his lips and considered refusing to eat. But Aaron read him too well, and there was a difference between stubborn and stupidly stubborn. "Thanks," he murmured, and took his plate.

"Sure." Aaron didn't look at him as he ate, but he let his ankle brush against Spencer's.

Neither one of them said anything as they ate, and halfway through the meal, Spencer realized he'd stopped channel surfing on some home shopping network. A woman with well-manicured hands was modeling a diamond bracelet, Spencer suddenly realized, and he'd just been staring at it for God knew how long now. He cleared his throat and turned it to the Discovery channel, where someone was eating... something. It looked terrible, but it was more interesting than jewelry.

"Aren't they showing The Wrath of Kahn tonight? I thought you wanted to watch that." Aaron said. Spencer found himself wondering if Aaron wanted to say something else about Jack's birthday party, or if he'd really just dismissed it for the evening.

"It's not until nine," Spencer said, shoveling another bite of food in his mouth absently.

Aaron made a non-committal noise and didn't speak again. When he finished eating, he leaned over and kissed Spencer's cheek. "I'm going to go finish a report."

Spencer nodded, then turned his head to kiss Aaron's lips. Just a soft, chaste kiss, one that said 'we're okay, right?', but all Spencer actually said was, "Okay." He piled the dishes together on the coffee table, planning to bring them to the kitchen later, and got more comfortable on the couch.

He didn't really pay attention to time passing, but the program had changed once. He'd taken the plates out and put them in the dishwasher, and was curled at the end of the couch again when Aaron wandered back into the living room. Aaron stretched out on the couch and put his head in Spencer's lap, curling his fingers against Spencer's leg.

"Hi," Spencer murmured, automatically lifting a hand to stroke through Aaron's hair. He brushed it down Aaron's neck and over his shoulder, then back up into too-short, dark locks again. God, he hoped the conversation about Jack's birthday party was over, but Aaron was being too quiet. Or maybe Spencer just thought he was too quiet because he knew there was an unresolved issue.

Aaron smiled at him. "Hi." He squeezed Spencer's knee gently. "I love you. I love that I could sit in my study and work on my reports and know you were out here watching TV. I got out here in time for the movie, right?"

"Yeah. It doesn't start for another ten minutes." Spencer smiled at Aaron, happy for his words. After a moment, he stretched his legs out and settled lower on the couch so that Aaron had to shift and rest his head on Spencer's stomach. Spencer slid his arm over Aaron's shoulder. "Love you too."

"Mmm." Aaron stroked his hand idly along Spencer's leg, the touch comforting rather than exciting. Spencer loved the way Aaron could make him feel sexy and capable sometimes, and protected and cherished at others--and how he looked to Spencer for those same feelings in return. Spencer stroked his fingers through Aaron's hair again, provoking a happy noise.

Aaron fell asleep partway through the movie, but Spencer didn't mind. He waited until the movie was over, then woke Aaron and guided him up the stairs to the master bedroom. Aaron fumbled his way through getting ready for bed, and then gave Spencer several kisses and a sleepy grope before falling asleep again. Spencer, amused and mildly frustrated, finally wrapped his arms around him and fell asleep himself.

***

Aaron didn't say anything about the birthday party the next day, but the invitation was sitting on the counter, and Aaron had written it in red marker on the calendar by the door to the garage. They rebuked Spencer silently, making him feel as if Aaron were still asking him to go.

It didn't take long at all for it to get to Spencer, and by the time lunch rolled around, Spencer had picked up the invitation and stuck it in the letter holder on the wall. The calender he couldn't move, but at least the invitation could hide among the bills.

Aaron didn't seem to notice the invitation was gone, but later that afternoon Spencer heard him in the living room, talking on the phone, telling Haley he would be at the party, work permitting. Spencer paused, knowing he shouldn't listen, but unable to resist.

"Ah, no, I think...he has other plans for that day," Aaron said. "Yes, I know--well, he has a life outside of--oh, come on, Haley, don't start that. Just because we're both profilers doesn't mean--" There was a long silence, then Aaron spoke again, his voice cold. "I'm not going to have this conversation. I'll be at the party if it is at all possible. Tell Jack I love him."

Spencer hesitated. He wanted to know what had been said, but he wasn't sure he should ask. he wasn't sure he deserved to know, considering Aaron had just lied to Haley for him.

A little surge of guilt washed trough him, and he struggled to swallow it. Then he made himself poke his head in to the living room casually. "Have you eaten?"

Aaron looked up and shook his head. "Did you want to go out? Or we could grill."

Spencer drew in a long breath and crossed the room to wrap his arms around Aaron. "Whatever you want."

"Mmm, hi," Aaron said, pulling him closer and kissing him hungrily. "We should go out. Maybe see a movie."

Spencer smiled. "Sounds good." He kissed Aaron again, then shoved his foot directly into his mouth. "Who was that on the phone?"

Aaron tensed against him, then shrugged. "Haley," he said, and his voice was suddenly short. "I was thinking hamburgers. What do you think?" It was clear he didn't want to talk about it. Or maybe, Spencer thought, he did want to talk about it and was just pretending he didn't.

"Hamburgers are fine," Spencer said. "I'm not picky." He sighed. "What'd she say?"

Aaron sighed. "She asked if we would be at the birthday party. I said I would, if it was possible." He kissed Spencer, sliding his fingers into the hair at the nape of his neck. His tongue teased along Spencer's lower lip, then stroked against Spencer's tongue.

Spencer sighed again, but enjoyed the kiss. Aaron was obviously avoiding the conversation. Spencer knew he should just let it go. And he would let it go...

In a minute.

"I thought I heard something about profilers," he breathed when they broke apart.
Aaron breathed a sigh through his nose, then looked away. "She made a remark about me obviously finding someone who's just as hard to tear away from his work as I am. I told her you had other plans, and she interpreted that to mean work. Do you want to go out to eat or fight?"

"I don't want to fight," Spencer said. He dropped his head to Aaron's shoulder and kissed his neck, feeling more and more guilty by the moment. "Sorry," he whispered.

Aaron sighed and stroked his fingers through Spencer's hair. "I'm sorry too," he murmured. "I know I get defensive about Haley. I know what she thinks about my parenting skills, and I get angry when she questions my commitment to Jack. I shouldn't take it out on you."

"It's not your fault," Spencer whispered, and kissed Aaron's skin again. Then he pulled back to look at Aaron. "Let's go eat."

Life seemed to be conspiring against Spencer. He knew that, statistically speaking, people in the same restaurant as him and Aaron were no less likely to have birthdays than if he weren't feeling guilty over the whole birthday party fiasco. But it seemed that way. There was an elementary-school-aged girl with a birthday, and then a guy who was clearly celebrating his twenty-first birthday in the bar with his parents, who bought him his 'first' beer. In both cases, the wait staff gathered around and sang the restaurant's customized chant meant to circumvent the copyright laws on the traditional "Happy Birthday" song.

Spencer couldn't look at Aaron while they were singing.

While they were finishing their drinks, Aaron's cell phone rang. He checked the caller ID and frowned. "JJ." After listening for a few minutes, he glanced at Spencer and nodded. "He's here with me. We'll meet you at the tarmac, we can brief on the jet."

Spencer signalled for the check and paid, and then they were on their way to Andrews as Aaron explained there had been two home invasions and brutal slayings in the past twenty-four hours, and police in Toledo were asking for FBI assistance.

The case was terrible. It lasted over a week and five more civilians lost their lives. Spencer wound up hurt by the time they left too. He'd tripped on a flight of stairs at the field office and sprained his ankle, which would have been okay, considering he wasn't in the field on this case, if it weren't for the team's teasing about him managing to hurt himself at the field office.

When they got back, Spencer pride was a little stung. He grumbled as they unloaded the car, stubbornly refusing Aaron's help even when maneuvering on crutches was awkward and uncomfortable.

He wasn't any happier when he struggled inside that the first thing he heard was Jack's voice on the answering machine. He slumped on his crutches at the foot of the stairs, then awkwardly heaved his bag, watching as it flew up to the second floor as he listened, then fell down the top two steps again.
Aaron was coming in behind him. When he heard the machine going, he darted past Spencer and grabbed the phone.

"Hey, buddy! Hey, don't hang up! Jack! Jack, it's Daddy!" A wide smile broke out across Aaron's face as he listened to whatever Jack was saying. "Hey, I miss you, too, buddy. I just barely got back from Toledo. Spencer and I were walking in the door while you were calling me." He laughed. "Toledo. It's in Ohio. Ask Mommy to show you on a map. It's pretty far away from here. How's my favorite boy?" His smile faded slightly, then he looked at Spencer with wide eyes. "Okay, well, he's standing right here, too. Okay, I'll tell him."

He held the phone out. "Jack wants to talk to you," he said. He was smiling, but Spencer could see the anxiety in his eyes.

Spencer slumped against his crutches a little more, then set them down against the stairs and hobbled over to the phone. He took it, and collapsed into the couch with a groan before holding it to his ear. "Hey, Jack," he said weakly. He never knew how to talk to kids over the phone. There was no body language to read, and kids were hard enough to read sometimes in person.

"SPENCER, guess what!" Jack said, and without giving him a chance to guess, continued. "I'm going to be FIVE! I'm having a birfday party and you have to come! I want you to get me a present!"

In the background of the conversation, Spencer could hear Haley laughing, and then she said something.

"I'm not s'posed to say that part," Jack said immediately.

Spencer laughed too, in spite of the way his chest was aching more than his ankle was now. God, Jack really wanted him there. Damn Aaron for putting him on the phone. "No, you're not. You're supposed to act surprised that anyone got you anything at all. Humility is generally a skill learned later in life, though, so I think you're okay for now."

"Hum-it-what?" Jack said, but again didn't give him a chance to answer. "Are you gonna come to my birfday party? I am only turning five ONCE! Next time I will be SIX! You have to come an' eat birfday cake and ice cream and play games and dance with me!"

"Oh, I don't think I'll be dancing. I hurt my ankle last week," Spencer said, avoiding the rest of it.

"You hurted your ankle? How? Okay, you can sit next to me and play with my presents with me. When's your birfday, Spencer? Are you old like Daddy? Did Daddy give you a birfday present?"

Spencer laughed again, in spite of himself. "I'm not old like Daddy, no," he said, glancing at Aaron with a smirk. Aaron gave him a mock glare. "He did give me a present, though."

"Are you coming to my party, Spencer? PLEEEEEEEEEASE? I won't jump on your hurted ankle! I promise I'll be good. Will you come?"

Spencer frowned, thinking of Haley, and Haley's boyfriend, and how she didn't really want Spencer there. "Jack..." he started, but then Jack interrupted.

"PLEEEEEEEEEASE?" Jack repeated, louder and whinier. "You're not working, are you?"

Spencer felt a little like he'd been punched in the chest at those word. He knew were they came from. Oh, of course, any child raised by Haley Hotchner would be an expert at emotional blackmail. "No, I'm not." He shook his head and sighed, feeling a little like it might physically hurt to hear how disappointed Jack would be if he said he wasn't coming. "I'll be there," he said finally.

"YAAAAAY!" Jack shouted in his ear, and then Haley must have taken the phone away from him because Spencer could hear him still shouting, but it wasn't deafening any more. Aaron was staring at him, his gaze suddenly warm and happy. "YAY YAY YAY!" Jack was shouting. Spencer held the phone away from his ear, and after a few moments he heard Jack muffle his shouts and start giggling. Finally he came back to the phone and giggled in Spencer's ear.

"Thank you, Spencer," he said. "Is Daddy there?"

Spencer made a face. "Oh, what? You don't want to talk to me now? 'Come to my party and buy me a present' and that's it? You're done with me?" he teased, and Jack giggled again.

"No, silly! I want to tell Daddy you're coming! He has to drive because--" Jack broke off and gasped. "OH! Will you fly to my birfday party?!"

Spencer shook his head. "We're not far enough to take a plane," he said.

"But you do magic! You can fly here like a bird!" Jack made warbling noises into the phone that were obviously supposed to be bird-like.

Spencer grinned, and Aaron sat down and slid an arm around him, kissing his cheek.

"Daddy's heavy," Spencer said. "I might drop him, and then he'd have a hurt ankle too."

Jack giggled. "YOU can fly and Daddy can drive! Or you could teach Daddy to fly!" Spencer could hear Haley saying something in the background, but he couldn't make out the words. Jack made a grumpy noise. "He can, too! Spencer is a wizard!"

"You tell her," Spencer said, unable to help himself. "I'm going to put Daddy back on, okay?"

"Okay! Thank you, Spencer!" Jack was still giggling when Spencer handed the phone to Aaron. His lover smiled at him as he took it.

"Hi, Jack. So what's Spencer grinning about?...Really? That's great! Oh, do you think he will? I don't know, buddy, he might not know what a five year old boy wants for his birthday. Well, I'll tell him, but maybe it's nice enough that he's coming to the party." Aaron laughed. "Okay, buddy. I love you, more than the world." He laughed again. "Okay, I'll tell her." His smile faded, but his expression was still happy when he said, "Hi, Haley. Yeah, it sounds like it....I gathered that. Yeah, we'll be there. I went ahead and sent a birthday card yesterday, since I wasn't sure if we would be home....That's all right, I just wanted to tell you because it has a check in there for his college fund. Yeah. Okay, I'll see you tomorrow."

When he hung up, he dropped the phone and wrapped his arms around Spencer, kissing him deeply. "Thank you," he whispered, and kissed him again.

"Mmm," Spencer hummed. "I didn't do it for you." He kissed Aaron again, letting Aaron hold him.

"I know," Aaron murmured, pulling back just enough to smile at him. "That's why I'm so grateful." He kissed Spencer again.

Spencer hummed into the kiss, lifting a hand to stroke through Aaron's hair. He'd just agreed to spend an entire afternoon being scrutinized. Not only that, but there would be a room full of screaming children, not just one. "You can start pampering me now," he whispered. "I hurted my ankle."

Aaron laughed and tightened his arms. "Should I carry you upstairs?" he asked, brushing his lips against Spencer's throat. He kept dropping little kisses down Spencer's neck as he continued, "Or maybe just to the couch. I could ravish you sooner if I carried you to the couch."

"We're on the couch," Spencer pointed out.

Aaron pulled back and grinned at him, looking like the cat with the proverbial canary.

Spencer snorted. "Be careful of my foot if you're going to take me around the world, Cassanova."

"Oh, I'll take you places you've never been before," Aaron said, smirking at him.

Spencer laughed and pulled Aaron closer. "I love to travel," he murmured, kissing Aaron.

He felt Aaron's chuckle as much as heard it. It never stopped making him happy that Aaron laughed more these days. "I hope your passport is current," Aaron whispered, and slid his hand down to Spencer's waistband.

"Mmm, I keep it current in case you ever drive me so crazy I have to get away," Spencer whispered, sliding a hand under Aaron's shirt.

Aaron bit his jaw. "That isn't what I meant."

Spencer grinned. "Then show me."

***

They made a trip to the mall the next morning before Jack's birthday party started. Aaron made a beeline for the toy store. As Spencer followed him slowly on his crutches, he couldn't help the way his gaze was drawn to the bookstore and the museum store. There were working models of volcanoes in the front display of the museum store, and he shuddered at the thought of Jack having that at the house. And then grinned at the thought of Haley having to clean it up.

"Haley gave me a couple of ideas, if you need one," Aaron said. "And while I'm here, I really ought to get a couple of new shirts. I think someone's been sleeping in one of my buttondown shirts." He eyed Spencer sideways, but didn't appear at all upset about it.

"I told Jack those were Daddy's." Spencer pressed his lips together to keep from smiling.

"Mm-hmm." Aaron didn't sound convinced. He curled his fingers around Spencer's and squeezed. It was just a quick gesture, non-demonstrative, but it still warmed Spencer.

"You work late, and they smell like you," Spencer murmured, giving Aaron a tiny grin.

Aaron turned his head completely to stare at Spencer for a moment. "God, I love you."

Spencer's smile widened as he stared back. Aaron still sometimes seemed overwhelmed by how completely Spencer loved him, and how he didn't try to make Aaron feel guilty for working late. It wasn't that Spencer didn't mind the late nights, but he minded because he worried about his lover and his constant level of stress, not because he didn't understand Aaron, or for any selfish sense of abandoment.

It sort of ached knowing Haley had made Aaron feel so unworthy of unconditional love, but it also made Spencer happier than anything that he knew he could be the one to give that to Aaron. "I love you too," he whispered.

Aaron stared at him for a moment more, then shook his head faintly and smiled at him. Spencer knew it was occasionally hard for Aaron to accept it, even though he believed it; so he didn't take that head-shake as negation. "All right," Aaron said after a moment. "Are you coming to the toy store with me?"

"I think I'm going to wander around in here," Spencer said, looking back at the brightly colored, mini chemistry set in the window of the store.

"Um...You're looking for something for Jack, not yourself," Aaron reminded him, his tone neutral.

Spencer frowned. "There's stuff for kids in there. And there's nothing wrong with pushing him; he's old enough."

Aaron snorted. "He's five, Spencer, and not a genius like you." He glanced up at the store, then shrugged. "I'm sure you'll find something nice."

Spencer pursed his lips and gave Aaron a look.

Aaron laughed. "Just remember he's not a genius. Try to find something age-appropriate, okay?" He gave Spencer a warm look and headed for the toy store.

Spencer watched him go for a moment, then headed into the store. It didn't matter that Jack wasn't a genius. Spencer could still find him something fun and educational, and a little beyond Jack's age range would be okay. It was good to make children think; even kids who weren't geniuses could learn beyond their grade levels with the right kind of motivation.

"God, I sound like my mother," Spencer muttered to himself. Genius or not, she was always pushing him farther and farther. He glanced up from the little butterfly collector's case and gave a man standing next to him an awkward smile when he realized he'd spoken loudly enough to be heard.

"You too, huh? I'm always hearing my mother's voice in my head," the man said cheerfully. He shook his head. "Never get free, do we?" And he wandered off down the aisle.

Feeling oddly relieved by that interaction, Spencer decided against the butterfly case and went the other way, looking at a fake frog dissection kit before deciding that "ages 10+" was too far out of Jack's reach.

He wandered into another section that looked to him to be for six to seven year olds, and decided that was better. He found a stamp collecting kit, smiling to himself at the thought of the little coin books Aaron still had stuffed on the top shelf of his closet from when he was a kid. He thought maybe Jack was a little too hyperactive to get into stamps, though, so he kept looking until he found a little science kit.

It was a little old for Jack, but not by much, and apparently it won some sort of parenting award. He balanced on one crutch, then picked it up to read the back.

He approved of the way it claimed to teach kids the scientific method, and the fact that there were over two dozen experiments meant it would be good for a while. Maybe they could keep it at Aaron's house and they could play with it together. It would have to be more fun than building houses with Lincoln Logs; Spencer was getting tired of doing that. He and Aaron always ended up playing with the toys more than Jack did.

With a brisk nod, he awkwardly carried the kit up to the register. The silver-haired woman there smiled at him. "Trying to get your son interested in science? Or daughter?"

"Ah, son." His voice sort of squeaked on the word, and a second later he realized what he said and he felt a little like he couldn't breathe. Damn Aaron and the way he always called Jack 'our son'. Spencer licked his lips and tried not to look as awkward as he suddenly felt.

She nodded and rang up the kit. "He'll love working with his dad on these," she said. "My grandson has a chemistry set--he's a little older than yours, I'd imagine--and he and his mom play with it all the time."

"Ah, I doubt she will," Spencer said, not sure why he wasn't correcting her about Jack being his son. It felt oddly nice, like he was really a part of Jack's life like that, even if he knew he wasn't really.

She handed him his receipt. "You're the scientist in the family? Enjoy it. And have a nice day."

Aaron was waiting outside, a large sack from the toy store in his hand. He smiled when Spencer came out. "Find something good?" he said, taking the bag from Spencer.

"Yeah, I think so," Spencer said, still feeling weird and wishing he'd snap out of it faster.

Aaron's smile widened. "Want to come help me pick out a couple of shirts for you to steal later?"

That snapped Spencer out of it, and he managed a smile. "Morgan says I should wear more burgundy."

"Why has Morgan been talking to you about what you wear?" Aaron growled in mock jealousy. It sent a stupid little thrill through Spencer...one that strengthened when Aaron leaned in and added, "He's right, though. And navy. You're sexy in navy."

"And black, I'm told. And vests. You'd think Morgan didn't know I was in a committed relationship the way he still pushes me to flirt to get people to listen to me," Spencer said. Of course, none of the team knew who Spencer was in a relationship with, as Spencer had been careful not to let anything slip beyond 'stop trying to force girls on me; I'm taken'. And Spencer had learned a lot about how to dress by Morgan's pushing. He still loved his old shapeless sweater vests and tweed, but he wasn't wearing it much anymore.

"Vests, mmm," Aaron said, glancing sideways at him and letting his lips curl up. "Of course, you also look good when you're wearing one of my old t-shirts and a pair of ratty jeans. I think it would be pretty impossible for you to look bad to me."

Spencer laughed softly. "Biased," he accused, but let Aaron lead him away anyway.

***

The party was just getting started when Aaron and Spencer arrived. Aaron had thought they should offer to help Haley prepare, but Spencer had talked him out of that, thankfully. Of course, that meant there were a dozen small children and their parents present in the back yard when Jack shouted, "SPENCER!" and ran across the grass. He stopped just short of throwing himself at Spencer, reminded at the last minute by the crutches not to fling himself at Spencer's legs like he usually did.

Aaron was laughing. "I see how I've been relegated to unimportance, despite being the one carrying presents," he teased.

"Maybe that's why you're the one carrying them. I know who they pay the big bucks for," Spencer teased, then shifted his crutches to one side so he could crouch awkwardly and give Jack a hug. "Hey. How does it feel to be an old man?"
Jack threw his head back and laughed dramatically. Clearly he was well into the over-excited stage. "I'm not old, silly! I'm FIVE!" He held up five fingers, then gave Spencer another hug and a sloppy kiss. "You brought Daddy!"

Spencer wiped his cheek, and one of the other adults sitting near them laughed. "I did. We flew all the way here," he said. There were enough cars outside that Jack would never know if that was true or not.
Jack scowled at him. "You just wiped my kiss off!" He folded his arms. "You are not a kissy person but you don't wipe them off. It is rude."

Aaron laughed. "He's got you there, Spence. You can't wipe kisses off."

"Well, if you wouldn't spit..." Spencer said, but Jack still didn't look happy. "Fine, here," he said, and kissed Jack's forehead. It was better than letting Jack kiss him again. "That better?"

Jack eyed him for a minute, then nodded. "Happy birfday to me!" he shouted, and threw himself at Aaron's legs. "DADDY!"

"Oh, now I get attention, huh?" Aaron said, transferring the presents to one arm so he could scoop Jack up in his other arm. He stood back up and kissed Jack, smiling. "How's my favorite birthday boy?"

"I love you, Daddy! I love Spencer! It's my birfday!" Jack started wiggling, and after a moment Aaron put him down again. Jack immediately took off screaming towards his friends.

Spencer was still trying to right himself from his crouched position, and was grateful when Aaron took one of his crutches to make it less awkward. "They already gotten into the cake and cookies?" Spencer murmured, watching Jack flail about with his friends. He felt an unexpected surge of jealousy, which was ridiculous, so he pushed it away and offered Haley a tight smile when she came up to greet them.
"It's good to see you," she said, smiling. "Spencer, I told you it was important to Jack to have you here."

To her credit, she seemed very welcoming, even if Spencer suspected it was only an act. When she kissed Aaron's cheek, Spencer knew it was only an act, since she was never that cordial with either of them in private.

Aaron accepted her kiss but didn't return her affection, and held the presents up. "Hi, Haley. Is there a place for presents?"

"In the guest bedroom," she said, then led them inside when she remembered they weren't overly familiar with her house. Spencer stopped just inside and leaned against the kitchen counter, not wanting to hobble too far.

"Down the hall on the right. Second door," Haley told Aaron, and he walked away without them.
Haley gave Spencer a tight smile. "Jack said you'd hurt your ankle. I hope it isn't anything serious?"

Spencer shook his head. "Just a sprain. I fell down some stairs."
"At least you weren't attacked by a bad guy," she said, her voice sympathetic. He wasn't sure she really felt that sympathy.

"They generally don't aim for your feet," Spencer said, nodding. God, this was weird. Sometimes he and Haley seemed to do fine, and other times they didn't. Given the situation today, this was exactly what Spencer expected.
Spencer was relieved to see Aaron coming back down the hall, but at that moment Haley's boyfriend Sam poked his head in the back door. "Sweetie? The Holsclaws are here and asked where you are."

Haley smiled at Spencer, then turned. "Okay, you keep Spencer company and I'll go talk to Karen." She went outside, leaving behind an even more awkward situation.

God, Aaron couldn't get to the kitchen fast enough. "Ah..."

"So are the good guys winning or losing, if the two of you aren't off fighting demons in some distant city?" Sam asked. He had a good-natured smile, but Spencer honestly couldn't tell if he was being friendly or issuing a barb.

Spencer didn't return the smile, he just gave Sam a thoughtful look. "It's sort of a never ending battle. I'm sure some other team is off on some other case right now."

Sam nodded. "Even heroes need a holiday, huh?" he said.

Aaron rejoined them then, and Spencer found himself admiring the way he made it look so easy to extend a hand and smile at Sam. "How are you, Sam? Keeping yourself busy?"

Sam smiled again. "Just busy enough," he said. "I think Haley's probably ready to start the games now."

Games? Spencer sincerely hoped the games were just for the kids and that the adults were just expected to watch.

Aaron probably saw the apprehension in Spencer's eyes, because he brushed his fingers against Spencer's back as he nodded. "Let's go find a good seat so we can watch," he said. Sam went ahead of them and held the door for Spencer, and Aaron came after, then directed Spencer over to a glider where they sat together. Spencer was careful not to sit too close, but Aaron surprised him by sliding an arm around his shoulders. He didn't pull Spencer closer, just let his arm lie there loosely, and it occurred to Spencer that Aaron had just made very clear to all the other adults at the party why Spencer was there.

Face burning, he tried to keep his attention on the kids, who were milling around and casting longing looks back at the sandbox. Under Haley's direction, they played Pin the Tail on the Donkey and bashed at a pinata, then they started playing Red Rover. Aaron seemed to be enjoying himself, and at one point, he leaned over and murmured, "Whatever other complaints I might have, at least she didn't spend tons of money on renting an entertainment plaza or something. This is the sort of birthday party I remember having."

Spencer smiled. His birthdays were never quite this... festive. He'd always been a serious child and had never really had many good friends. Still, he was happy that Aaron seemed happy. "Were you like Jack when you were his age?" Spencer asked quietly.

Aaron laughed. "Was I loud and hyperactive, you mean?" He shook his head. "Not really. I was pretty quiet. Even at that age I preferred to read or color instead of running around shouting. Jack is more like Sean." His expression turned thoughtful, though he didn't seem unhappy.

Spencer nodded, then lifted his hand off his knee to touch Aaron's before he remembered where they were and put his hand back down again. "Wish you'd been in Vegas. And, you know, not old." Spencer gave Aaron a teasing glance.

Aaron sighed and shook his head in mock hurt. "In my day, youngsters respected their elders," he complained.

Spencer laughed quietly. The games seemed to be winding down, and Spencer watched as Haley tried to herd them all towards the cake. That kept the kids quiet for a while. Spencer picked off of Aaron's cake, not really wanting much, and Aaron valiantly didn't roll his eyes when Spencer stole most of the icing. Spencer thought Aaron preferred the cake parts anyway.

The calm didn't last long as the sugar seemed to hit the kids, and it was with no small amount of horror that after they were all playing again, Spencer heard Jack shout, "Hey, guess what? My daddy's boyfriend is a WIZARD!"

"Shit," Spencer hissed under his breath, and considered running.

Aaron choked on his cake and began coughing, but that soon dissolved into laughter as Jack led the herd of children over towards them at a run. Spencer tensed in preparation for a retreat, but Aaron's arm was suddenly tight around his shoulders, preventing him from leaving. The kids were all cheering and Jack was saying something about flying, though Spencer had a hard time hearing over the general kid-noise.

"Make Daddy dis'pear, Spencer! Make Daddy dis'pear!"

Aaron stopped laughing at that and gave his son an exaggerated frown. "Hey! Not me!" he protested. "He already made my cake disappear, isn't that bad enough?"

Jack shrieked with laughter. "Bad Spencer!" he shouted. "Make somefing else dis'pear!"

Spencer cleared his throat and glanced at the adults. Haley's lips were thin, and Spencer had a feeling Aaron's silent declaration of his relationship with Spencer was enough for her without Jack shouting it at the top of his lungs. But there was nothing Spencer could do about that. He glanced back down at the kids, and saw Sam slide his arm around her shoulder out of the corner of his eyes. Spencer didn't bother to look at anyone else.

"Ah..." he said, then cleared his throat again. "I'm sort of tired after flying the whole way here. I had to carry Daddy and the presents."

"Spennnncerrrrrr," Jack whined.

Spencer pursed his lips and looked for something small enough to fit up his sleeves. One of the kids was clutching a mini candy bar from the pinata, and Spencer held out his hand. "Can I see that?"

The little girl eyed him for a minute, then handed it over.

"Okay, now watch closely." With a small flourish, the candy 'disappeared'.

All the kids gasped, and Spencer heard a few amazed 'whoa's, but the little girl pouted. Spencer saw the outburst and realized why it was coming about two seconds before she started crying.

"He took my candy and made it go bye bye!" she wailed. "Myyy cannnndy!"

Damn it. Damn it! Love Jack, hate kids, Spencer thought, and held up his hand. "I'll bring it back; I'll bring it back," he promised hastily, and made the candy 'reappear'.

Aaron was laughing, and he could hear at least one other parent. One of the other kids, however, decided the little girl's unhappiness meant life was tragic, and he started to cry, too. Oh my God, Spencer thought, and pressed his knee frantically against Aaron's.

"Quarters," Aaron murmured as he leaned over to pat a third child on the back before she burst into tears too. "Pull quarters out of ears."

The kids were sufficiently distracted, so Spencer was able to load his sleeves with a few coins, then he looked the kids over again. It probably wasn't the best idea to start with the crying children. He leaned over to the little boy next to the girl who had started the tear fest and caught his eye.

"Hey, you have something... in your ear. Here, let me get that," he said, and then flawlessly pulled the quarter out of the kid's ear. The little boy's jaw dropped. The wailing of the girl next to him slowed when she noticed, but she was still sobbing and looking dubiously between her candy and the little boy's ear. It might have been funny, but Spencer still wasn't convinced she was ready to stop.

"How'd you do that?!" another boy asked. He looked a little older.

Spencer shrugged. "It was in his ear," he said, as if it was the most natural explanation.

Jack cheered and clapped. "Do it again! Look in MY ears, Spencer!" He pushed at Spencer's leg and shoved his ear in Spencer's face.

Spencer looked. "Hmm," he said thoughtfully. "Looks like it's contagious."

"Con-what?" Jack asked, turning to stare at him.

"Contagious. It means it's catching." He pulled a coin out of Jack's ear, and then with the other hand, he did the same with another boy who had offered his ear silently while Jack had waited.

Jack jumped around clapping and shrieking, then ran off to show Haley and Sam. Aaron was leaning over and talking to the girl with the candy. Her sobs had ceased, though her cheeks were still wet and her face was red as she listened to whatever Aaron was saying. She came over and stood in front of Spencer.

"He said you hafta check BOF my ears," she announced loudly.

Aaron nudged Spencer. Spencer gave him a dubious look, but leaned over and inspected the girl's ears. If he never had to get this close to a group of children for the rest of his life, he would be happy.

"This one's clear," he said. He was running out of coins. He gestured for her to turn her head, and when she did he said, "Uh-oh. You've got one too. I might have to unstick it; it's pretty deep in there."

She shrieked, but it sounded like laughter this time instead of tears. "Get it out! Get it out!" She jumped up and down, of course, making it impossible, if he were really trying to unstick something from her ear.

Aaron, damn him, was laughing helplessly. Spencer glared at him, then turned back to the little girl. "Hey, hey..." She stopped shrieking, but she was still flailing a little when she looked at Spencer. "What's your name?"

"Emily!"

"Oh, I have a friend named Emily--" he started.

"Get it out!"

"I will, I will, but listen, Emily, you have to hold still, okay?"

"Okay! Get it out!"

Aaron had slumped down with a hand covering his face. He was still laughing. Spencer pretended he was unsticking the quarter, then made it appear in his hand and held it in front of her huge blue eyes.

"Is that MINE?!" she demanded.

Spencer snorted. "It came out of your ear; who else would it belong to?" Some of the other parents were laughing too, and Spencer's cheeks felt warm.

She stared at him. "You?"

Spencer shook his head. "I just pulled it out. It's your quarter."

"YAAAAAAY!" she shrieked, then grabbed the quarter and ran to show her mother.

The kids dispelled after that, either bored with the wizard amongst them already, or satisfied that Spencer really was one. Or maybe both. Either way, Spencer was glad they were gone, and settled back next to Aaron who still looked entirely too amused. "You so owe me."

Aaron just wiped his eyes and didn't answer.

Spencer was hoping the rest of the party would be uneventful, but after hands and faces were washed clean of ice cream and cake, it was time for Jack to open his presents. Spencer was leaning slightly into Aaron's side, trying to relax as Jack opened toy trucks and a stuffed lion and other presents. He was starting to manage it when Haley's voice shattered his calm.

"And here's your present from Spencer."

He suddenly had a minor panic attack. Maybe he should have let Aaron tell him what to get for Jack. His gift was nothing like the other ones. He had the intense urge to flee for the second time since the party started. Jack, however, was gleefully taking the present from Haley's hands.

"D'you get me somfing to show me how to do magic too?!"

"Um... sort of," Spencer said, and leaned closer to Aaron.

Jack ripped open the wrapping and then blinked at the box. "What is it?"

"It's a beginning science kit," he said. "It's like... real magic."

Jack stared at it some more. "Does it fly?" he asked after a moment.

"Ah, no. It's...you can do experiments with it," Spencer explained.

"Expi-what?"

"Experiments. We can learn the scientific method."

Jack stared at the box, then looked up at him. "You're silly!"

"That's a wonderful present," Haley said, smiling. "What do we say, Jack?"

He chewed his lip. "Thank you, Spencer." It wasn't bellowed with quite the same enthusiasm that the dump truck had received. Spencer felt even worse when the next present was Aaron's.

"A SUPER WATER GUN!" Jack shouted, jumping up and down. "THANK YOU, DADDY!" Haley groaned.

Spencer held a groan of his own, but silently cursed that Aaron, unlike Spencer, apparently still didn't think like the quiet bookish boy he claimed to have been.

"That is going back home with you two," Haley said, folding her arms. Aaron just grinned unrepentantly at her, and she shook her head.

Jack pointed the water gun at Sam and shouted "BANG!" Then he jumped around in a circle laughing hysterically.

Haley gave a long-suffering sigh, then corralled Jack to the last present, which was from Haley's mom. It was a book, and had the dubious honor of being even less well-received than Spencer's present.

The party wound down quickly after that as Haley handed out little treat bags to all the kids who had come. The parents collected their children and made them thank Haley and Aaron for a wonderful time, which Spencer thought was strange since Aaron hadn't done anything but laugh at him. Aaron was all smiles and politeness and started gathering up crumpled wrapping paper and stray napkins and paper plates while Jack carried his dump truck to the sandbox and started playing. Sam followed him but was largely ignored, which sent a thrill of vindictive satisfaction through Spencer.

When Aaron and Spencer were finally ready to go, Jack came running back without the truck to kiss his dad, then throw his arms around Spencer's neck after Spencer managed to get down to his level again. Spencer hugged him back.

"I love you, Spencer," Jack said quietly in Spencer's ear.

The day had been awful, and Spencer was taking Jack's present home under the pretense of playing with it together there, even if Spencer knew it would probably just collect dust on the shelf. But Jack still loved him, even if his gift had been unexciting, and he'd made a little girl cry, and he'd spent most of the day feeling awkward and out of place. It made Spencer's chest tightened when he realized how much it meant to him.

Spencer squeezed Jack a little tighter as a flood of emotion hit him. "Love you too," he murmured. It was the first time he'd said it out loud, and he sort of hoped neither Haley or Aaron would say anything. It felt strange to say, too, but now somehow felt like a good time.

Jack squeaked happily and gave him a sloppy kiss, then hugged him again. "We can play with the magic kit next time?"

Aaron's hand touched Spencer's shoulder. "Yeah, buddy," Aaron said, apparently aware that Spencer suddenly couldn't speak. "When you come visit next weekend."

Jack wriggled out of Spencer's arms and ran back to the sandbox shrieking happily. Spencer struggled to his feet, one of Aaron's hands gripping his elbow helpfully, and avoided everyone's gaze.

"Thanks for coming," Haley said quietly, and somehow she sounded more like she meant it this time.

"You guys take care," Sam added, and Aaron thanked them and said goodbye for both of them.

The door clicked shut behind him, but Aaron didn't say anything. He just reached over and threaded his fingers with Spencer's as they walked out to the car. Spencer still didn't really think he could speak when Aaron started driving, either, in spite of wanting to make another joke about Aaron owing him for all the laughing and odd looks and embarrassment he'd sat through today. Instead, he just stared out the window thoughtfully as they drove home, wishing he didn't feel so much like crying. And wishing he could figure out if he felt like crying because he was happy or sad.

Aaron seemed to understand, though, because he didn't try to break the silence, even with the radio. When he'd pulled into the garage at home, he still didn't speak, but came around to Spencer's side of the car, where he wrapped his arms around Spencer and kissed him softly, then held him close.

Spencer melted against him and buried his face against Aaron's neck. It didn't help the horrible feeling that he was near tears at all. For the last half hour in the car, Spencer thoughts had been cycling rapidly between Jack, Aaron, and his own father, and he couldn't make it stop.

He swallowed hard and drew a shaky breath. God, it would be stupid to cry just because he'd told Jack he loved him. "Is it too early for bed?" he murmured.

Aaron tightened his arms. "No," he whispered. A moment later Spencer sucked in a breath of surprise as Aaron shifted his hold and lifted him in his arms. "That's exactly where we need to be."

Aaron kicked the door shut and let Spencer unlock the door to the house, then carried him all the way upstairs before depositing him gently on the bed.

Spencer couldn't help but smile up at him. God, Aaron was wonderful. Spencer reached up and tugged Aaron down, trying to relax a little. Aaron was looking at him like Spencer had just given him the entire world, though. Spencer pulled him in to a kiss, holding Aaron there and deepening it so he didn't have to deal with the expression on Aaron's face.

Aaron kissed him passionately, his fingers stroking through Spencer's hair. When Spencer's hand roamed down to slip inside the waist of Aaron's pants, though, Aaron pulled back. He obviously wasn't willing to let Spencer bury what he was feeling in sex. "I love you so much," he whispered breathlessly, brushing his fingers against Spencer's cheeks. "God, every time--" He shook his head and closed his eyes. When he looked at Spencer again, they were suspiciously shiny. "Every time I think my life can't get any better, you prove me wrong."

Spencer pressed his lips together. He was just starting to feel a little lighter before Aaron started talking. "Aaron... please," he whispered.

"No," Aaron said quietly, and kissed him again. "I won't pretend that today wasn't the best day of my life." He traced a finger down Spencer's cheek. "I am so incredibly proud to be your lover. And today you made me the happiest man in the world. I can't..." He shook his head and wrapped his arms tightly around Spencer, then buried his face against Spencer's neck.

"God," Spencer said, the words coming out in a little gust of air. He ran his fingers into Aaron's hair, and blinked back tears when his eyes started to prickle. He sniffed after a moment, and squeezed Aaron tighter to keep him from pulling back before he got his emotions under control. "Aaron..."

"I love you," Aaron whispered. "And our son loves you. And...I am so...grateful..."

Spencer let out a shaky breath. "If I'd known this was going to happen, I would have told him in private," he said, hoping for a teasing tone, but his voice choked up half-way through.

Aaron made a noise that was probably meant as a laugh, but his arms were tight around Spencer. After a moment he lifted his head and kissed Spencer's cheek. "I love you so much."

Spencer sighed and wiped at his eyes in spite of not having actually shed any tears. "I get it," he murmured, and turned to kiss Aaron. He wanted to return the sentiment, but that would shatter all his reserve. Instead, he rolled them over and pressed his face to Aaron's chest. "I don't know how to do this," he whispered.

To his surprise, Aaron really did laugh then, even though it was sort of strangled. His arms tightened around Spencer. "Don't you get it?" he asked gently. "You're a dad, Spencer. You're already doing it."

"I still feel like his weird gay uncle," Spencer admitted, then shook his head and clamped his eyes shut. "I... I don't..." He sucked in a couple sharp gaspy breaths, and then made himself shut up.

Aaron stroked his fingers through Spencer's hair and then shifted them just enough to drag the comforter over them from the side of the bed. "He adores you," Aaron whispered. "And you adore him. The rest gets made up as we go along."

The next installment in the series: To Love and Protect