Spiral (1/2), Reid/Rossi, NC-17 (Conscious of Our Treasures universe)

[severity-softly.livejournal.com]

Title: Spiral (1/2)
Authors: innerslytherin and severity_softly
Pairing: Reid/Rossi
Rating: NC-17/FRAO
Warnings: References to drug abuse
WC: ~18,600
Summary: When Spencer is injured during a case, he and Dave have to deal with the consequences.

This is part of the "Conscious of Our Treasures" universe, all of which can be found at this tag. This is part FIVE. :)



Dave had enjoyed the fact that their most recent case was in Sacramento. Their first evening there, he made Spencer show him where he used to live, and when he'd found out the Trash Film Orgy was going on, he'd suggested they take a couple days of leave at the conclusion of the case. Spencer had enthusiastically agreed, and Dave had been looking forward to a romantic mini-vacation.

Of course, that had been before the unsub had surprised Hotch and Spencer in the abandoned warehouse where he'd been torturing and killing young women. Hotch hadn't been hurt, but Spencer hadn't been so lucky. Now Dave was pacing in a private waiting room, doing his best not to glare at Hotch or growl at the hospital staff.

They'd been told Spencer would be fine, but the doctor hadn't let anyone in to see him yet, and Dave was getting tired of having to see Hotch's guilty demeanor. He didn't blame Hotch for Spencer being injured, but he knew they were both going to have to reassure Hotch several times. Not to mention this would probably lead to another argument about the not-so-subtle way Reid was often kept back at headquarters while the rest of the team we out in the field.

Finally the doctor came back to the waiting room. "You're his next of kin?" he asked Dave, who nodded. "He's very groggy, but he's in pain, and he's refusing any medication. We've finished setting the bone, but he's going to be highly uncomfortable if he won't take anything. Will you talk to him?"

"Sure," Dave said, but he had a feeling he knew exactly why Spencer was refusing. He didn't like the idea of Spencer being in that much pain, though. He followed the doctor, who took him to Spencer's room, ignoring the uncertain look Aaron had given him.

Spencer looked pale. His eyes were closed, but Dave doubted there was any way he could be sleeping through the pain. "Hey," he murmured.

Spencer opened his eyes and turned his head to look at Dave. He was trying to smile and failing. "Hey," he said, his voice hoarse.

"You look like shit," Dave murmured, brushing his fingers through Spencer's hair. "What's this about refusing pain medication?" He could understand, at least in theory; it didn't mean he wanted Spencer to keep refusing.

Spencer sucked in a shaky breath and let his eyes fall closed again when Dave touched him. "I'm fine. I can handle it," he whispered.

Dave sighed. "I don't like seeing you hurting," he said quietly. He sat on the edge of the bed and cupped Spencer's cheek. "Look at me, Spence. Please."

Spencer opened his eyes and looked at Dave, a pained frown still marring his expression. He looked like he didn't really want to hear what Dave was going to say, but he was willing to listen.

Dave kept touching him. "Listen, you are strong enough for anything. And I know that, even if you don't. But you don't have to prove anything to me. Whatever happens, we deal with it. But the doc says you are going to be in serious pain, and I don't want to see that."

Spencer's eyes went a little glassy and he looked up at the ceiling. "I'm not trying to prove anything. I'm just trying to... make things simpler." He pressed his lips together and shifted a little. He didn't do very well at suppressing the resulting pain of the movement when it flitted across his face, and he closed his eyes again, more tightly than before.

"Damn it, Spence," Dave whispered, his voice gentle. It hurt him to watch his lover suffer. "I don't care about simple. I care about you not hurting. This isn't the same as choosing oblivion, okay? It's just not. And you're going to be out of the field for a while, anyway, so we'll have time to get through the worst of whatever happens later." He couldn't pretend to understand, not entirely, but he knew they could get through it, because Spencer had already done it once alone.

Spencer turned his head against Dave's hand where it was still in his hair, and Dave stroked more gently. Spencer didn't respond for a moment, but his breathing was a little uneven, a little more shallow than it should have been.

"Dave," he whispered, then frowned deeper without opening his eyes. Dave was expecting another protest, but Spencer just whispered, "I'm scared."

"I know," Dave lied. He hadn't expected fear; he'd thought it was stubbornness, or possibly pride. "But you know I'm going to be with you, Spence." He leaned down and kissed Spencer's forehead, not paying any attention to who might see. "I'm going to be right here with you."

Spencer's lips tightened and he shook his head, just barely. "I-- you don't--" He grimaced and a tear rolled down his cheek from under his lashes. "Fine. Fine. I'll take something."

Dave leaned closer. "I don't what?" he asked softly. "Spence, talk to me."

Spencer sniffed and wiped his cheek with his good hand. "You don't understand," she said quietly, his voice too vulnerable to be defensive. "It's fine."

"It's not fine if I don't understand," Dave said. "Make me understand. Help me. Tell me what I can do." He stroked his hand down Spencer's cheek, then caught his good hand and held it.

"I don't want it because I want it," Spencer explained, still not looking at Dave. Instead he opened his eyes and stared at a fold in the sheets. "But I meant 'it's fine, I'll take... whatever.'"

Dave sighed. "Damn it," he muttered, then leaned down and kissed Spencer's forehead again. "If you really don't want to take anything..." He touched Spencer's chin, trying to get him to look up.

"I do," Spencer whispered, but his words didn't sound quite right still. He turned his head away from Dave's fingers, but shifted again and reached out for Dave's hand.

Dave watched the pain play across Spencer's face when he did, and didn't mention the poorly held whimper. It made his chest ache, and even if he wasn't happy that Spencer had turned out of his touch and refused to look up, he took Spencer's hand and gave it a squeeze.

"What do you want me to do?" Spencer asked. The 'I'll do it' was implied.

"I can't make that decision for you," Dave said quietly. He knew it was harsh to force Spencer to make the decision, considering the pain he was in, but Dave wasn't about to take that responsibility on himself. Spencer knew, better than Dave did, how he was doing in his recovery; only Spencer could make that decision. The trust he was showing in Dave was touching--more than anything, it proved that he believed Dave would be here for him--but Dave couldn't be the one who decided. "But whatever you decide, you know you will have my full support." He squeezed Spencer's hand again. "I love you, Spence."

"Dave," Spencer said, his tone pleading. "David, please," he whispered, his fingers tightening.

Dave opened his mouth, but the doctor walked into the room before he could say anything. He smiled between the two of them, then his gaze landed on Dave. "How are we doing in here?" he asked.

"Brilliant," Spencer muttered, frowning and resting back against the bed, his eyes closing again. He didn't let go of Dave's hand, though.

"That's clearly an overstatement, Doctor Reid," the doctor said. "I would strongly advise--"

"I know what you advise," Spencer interrupted. He wasn't saying yes or no, though, and the doctor looked back at Dave as if he were hoping for back up.

Dave met the doctor's gaze, his expression impassive. He wasn't going to make this decision for Spencer, but he also wasn't going to be the doctor's ally. He turned his attention back to Spencer and squeezed his hand lightly. "You need to decide, Spence," he murmured. "Whatever you decide, I'm right here."

He heard the doctor make an annoyed noise, but he didn't look away from his lover's face. Spencer didn't open his eyes, but his frown deepened, and after a moment he expelled a breath as if he'd been hit in the chest.

"Give me something," Spencer said after a long pause, his voice breaking in the middle of the words.

Dave looked at him for a long moment, then turned to the doctor and nodded. "Can I stay in here with him?"

"As long as it's okay with Dr. Reid," the doctor said, looking pleased, and Spencer just nodded. The doctor smiled and left the room.

Spencer licked his lips and shifted uncomfortable. "It wasn't Hotch's fault," he said.

"You don't have to tell me that," Dave said. "Hotch, of course...we'll both have to reassure him about a dozen times. You know how guilty he gets." He kept holding Spencer's hand. He wasn't going to let go unless the doctor made him.

"Is he still here?" Spencer asked, opening his eyes and looking at Dave. He had a sort of muddled expression on his face, one that seemed both pained and sad, and maybe a little worried. But at least he was looking at Dave again.

"Of course he's still here. Everyone's still here." Dave brushed his fingers softly against Spencer's lower lip. "You didn't think anyone would leave until we were sure you're gonna be okay? You're part of this family, Spence."

Spencer closed his eyes at the touch of Dave's finger. "Everyone?" His brows drew up and together. "You'd think I got shot."

"Well, we closed the case, thanks to your distracting the unsub long enough for Hotch to cuff him." Dave traced his fingers along one eyebrow, then stroked over his hair. He wished he could make this un-happen, take away both the temptation and the fear of the painkillers. "Hotch is pacing in the waiting room, and Morgan's given up on calming him down, so he and Emily and JJ are arguing about movies."

"They can all go home," Spencer said. "Or back to the hotel. I'm fine," he insisted. His lips tightened a little.

"Well, they can, but you know Hotch won't, because he's got that guilt thing going on. I guess I could send the others off, but they'd probably be pissed." Dave frowned lightly, wondering what was wrong with the team caring about him.

Spencer pursed his lips, but didn't say anything, and a nurse came back in a moment later.

"Hi," she said, looking between them, and then she turned to Spencer, and gestured at his hand that was joined with Dave's. "I need that arm, sweetie." He nodded and gave her his arm; as soon as Dave moved back, she started feeling around for a vein. "We're just going to stick you once; I promise. We'll just leave this needle in and hook anything else we need up to it."

"I'm not going to be here that long," Spencer protested.

"Just overnight, I think," she said. "Most people don't mind it. Hardly even notice it's there. You don't want us to have to stick you every time we give you something, do you? You'd leave here looking like a pin cushion." She laughed. "Or worse," she added, swabbing the inside of his elbow with alcohol.

"Wouldn't want that," Spencer said, his voice flat.

Dave's brows drew together, but he didn't speak. He rested a hand on Spencer's ankle and watched his lover's face instead of the nurse's hands. It was strange; he could see the exact moment when her needle punctured the skin, but he couldn't read whether the sensation Spencer was experiencing was pain or pleasure. Dave chewed thoughtfully on the inside of his lip.

"You should be feeling much better shortly," the nurse said, and Dave could see her finishing up what she was doing. Spencer just nodded.

"I do," he said.

She grinned at him. "Good," she said, her voice perky. She patted his knee and left the room.

Dave glared vaguely after her, then moved up to take Spencer's hand again gently. "I guess we're going to miss seeing Dr. Bikini and the Gold Women and all those movies you liked so much," he said.

"Dr. Goldfoot and the Bikini Machine," Spencer said. "But I don't think it was playing this year." His voice was already a little heavy sounding and he was staring at the blanket again, but at least he'd remembered the movie title. Dave thought. He didn't really remember it, so at the very least, Spencer knew he was wrong.

"Yeah, that." Dave rubbed his thumb in a circle over Spencer's knuckles for a few seconds, then sighed. "What do you want me to do right now, Spence? Do you want me here? I don't want to leave you alone, but if you'd rather..." He couldn't read Spencer right now, and it was odd, and sort of frightening, in a strange way. He hadn't been around for Spencer's initial struggle with Dilaudid, and despite having found out eventually about the Beltway Clean Cops meetings, he didn't know what to make of Spencer's demeanor right now.

Spencer lifted his good arm and rubbed his eyes, then scrubbed it over his face. He didn't say anything for a long moment, he just shrugged and shook his head. Finally, he murmured, "You don't have to do anything... Stay." He glanced up at Dave. "You don't have to do anything but tell everyone they can go home."

Dave brushed his hand over Spencer's hair, then leaned in for a brief kiss. "You want me to go send everyone home, then come back?"

Spencer nodded. "Yeah."

"Okay. I'll be right back." Dave kissed him again, just for good measure. "I promise." He smiled and stood up, wishing he didn't feel at such a loss. He wasn't really sure if Spencer even needed all the extra reassurance, or if it was really Dave who needed it. He made his way back to the waiting room and took Hotch's arm. "Morgan, you feel up to strong-arming our fearless leader out of here?"

Morgan stood up, looking like he didn't quite follow, but was game for anything. "Sure, man. What's up?"

Dave grinned. "Spencer's fine, but they're going to keep him overnight, and they've just given him some painkillers. There's no sense the rest of you having sleepless nights, so he wants you guys to go out for dinner and go back to the hotel."

Hotch sighed and tried to pull out of Dave's grip, but Dave just tightened his hand. "Dave, I'm not just--"

"Yes, you are. This was not your fault, Aaron, it was the unsub's fault."

"Dave--"

"Aaron, just go. He's not going to know if anyone's here, let alone the whole team."

Hotch's brows drew together. "I want to see him." He lowered his voice and met Dave's gaze. "Please."

Dave sighed. "I'm not trying to keep you from him," he muttered, defeated. "Derek, you promise you'll drag him out of here to the hotel afterwards?"

"What are we, chopped liver?" Prentiss said. She put her hands on her hips and gave Dave a mock glare. "JJ knows more about getting Hotch to do things than Morgan does. Morgan would just end up shouting."

Dave snorted and followed Hotch back to Spencer's room.

Spencer had slumped into the bed by the time Dave came back with Hotch, his eyes closed and one wavy strand of hair hanging in his face. He looked peaceful for the first time since Dave had seen him since the unsub had decided to have a go at him with a baseball bat, but somehow the placid expression on Spencer's face didn't settle Dave any.

"Spencer," Hotch whispered, and Spencer frowned. He obviously wasn't asleep.

"Hotch, go home," he murmured.

"I told you," Dave said.

Hotch glared at him. "Spencer, I'm so sorry," he began, and Dave growled and considered slapping a hand over his mouth.

"Hotch, shut up," he said. "I told you it isn't your fault."

"It wasn't. It was mine," Spencer said, but he was beginning to sound a little more out of it than he had before. He reached up and rubbed his eyes again. "I know... you're right not to put me in the field very much."

"Hey," Dave said, but this time Hotch cut him off.

"Reid, it was not your fault," he said, his voice firm. "It was the unsub's fault. And the person who was supposed to be watching your back wasn't doing a very good job. As for putting you in the field--your strength is in the way your mind works, and generally you aren't required to be out in the field for that. But that doesn't mean that you aren't good in the field."

Spencer just pursed his lips and shook his head. "No, I'm not." He sounded like he was talking to himself, but a moment later he peeled his eyes open and looked blearily at Hotch. "Go home. I'm okay."

Dave was scowling at both of them, his arms folded across his chest, but Reid's hospital room wasn't the place to have an argument, so he bit back the words.

Hotch just sighed. "Reid, we need you on this team. And you're good at everything you put your mind to." He touched Reid's shoulder gently, and Dave couldn't quite suppress the flash of jealousy, even though he knew it was ridiculous; he was just angry, and nothing was going to make him happy at this point. Hotch looked over at Dave and seemed surprised at his expression. "Call my cell later and let me know if you two are going to be flying with us tomorrow, all right?" Then he turned back to Spencer. "And you get some rest."

Spencer nodded and closed his eyes. "That much won't be a problem," he breathed.

"I'll let you know," Dave promised, tempering his tone. He endured the searching look Hotch gave him, and then Hotch was gone. Dave was settling down on the edge of Spencer's bed again, hoping to talk sense into him about his skill in the field, when the doctor came back in.

"Well, those painkillers have probably had enough time to kick in. How are you feeling, Doctor Reid?"

"Like I'm floating," Spencer replied softly. He opened his eyes and looked at the doctor, then closed them again, his gaze darting to Dave's just before they fell shut.

And he'd been afraid of that because he'd wanted it, Dave thought. A pang of shame went through him, and he wondered if he should have been more insistent that Spencer refuse. But he did trust Spencer, and he did hate seeing him in pain. He tightened his jaw and glanced over at the doctor.

"You said I could stay."

"I wasn't lying," the doctor said mildly, which made Dave feel worse about his own belligerent tone. "Doctor Reid, did you have any questions for me?"

"Can't remember," Spencer said, then, "Oh. I can go home tomorrow?"

"Yes, as long as your vitals stay normal. You gave a us a bit of a scare when they brought you in--you're lucky not to be concussed--but we just want to watch you for a bit now, make sure you're comfortable." The doctor smiled at Dave, then turned back to Spencer. "Just rest for now."

"Thanks," Dave said, and waited until he'd gone before turning back to Spencer. "What do you think? You still want to spend a few days in Sacramento? We don't have to go home with the team just because of your arm."

"Mmm," Spencer hummed. "I don't care." Spencer frowned. "I can't think. You decide."

Dave laughed softly and kissed him. "All right." He would call Hotch later, once Spencer had fallen asleep. They could always just stay in the hotel for a couple of days while Spencer recovered. Dave didn't have any objections to that, even if they didn't leave the hotel at all while they were here.

He ran his fingers gently through Spencer's hair. "God, I love you so much," he whispered. "Scared the shit out of me to see you hurt." He took a quick breath. "And it made me proud of you," he said, not letting Spencer interrupt. "Because you are so brave, and so dedicated, and you are a damn good FBI agent."

"In the field office," Spencer corrected. "I'm a good agent in the office." He sighed and turned his head into Dave's touch. "Feels good," he murmured.

"Wherever you are," Dave said sternly. "You are always a good agent."

"Shh," Spencer whispered, and took Dave's hand to kiss his palm.

"Hey, don't you shush me," Dave grouched. "I am the senior supervisory agent here, so clearly I know what the hell I'm talking about." His voice lost all resemblance to grumpiness when Spencer's lips brushed his skin, though.

"And I'm your husband, and I said shh," Spencer whispered against Dave's skin. It sent a thrill through Dave, both at the brush of Spencer's lips, but also because they never actually used the word 'husband'. Spencer apparently thought it, even if they didn't say it, if it had slipped out now. Spencer didn't seem to have noticed, though.

"Really?" Dave murmured, and leaned down to kiss Spencer softly. "Well, in that case." God, he was wrapped around Spencer's little finger. It would be pathetic, if it didn't make him so damn happy.

"In what case?" Spencer asked, smiling lazily when Dave pulled back, but then he didn't let Dave answer before he added, "I love you."

Dave hummed and kissed him again. "I love you, too," he murmured, and brushed his fingers against Spencer's cheek. "God, you're really out of it." It was cute, but he could see the danger in this.

"Mmm," Spencer said, his tone agreeing, and his smile didn't slip off. "Love you."

Dave loved hearing that, but this was going to be a long night if that was the extent of Spencer's conversational skills. He grinned, thinking back to college and the fun he'd had at the expense of stoned dorm-mates. "What are you thinking about right now?"

"That I love you," Spencer said. Dave shook his head and laughed. For as little as Spencer normally said those words, he couldn't help but think this was some sort of cosmic balancing of the scales.

"That..." Spencer started again, then seemed to think for a moment. "That you're cute when you sleep." He opened his eyes and looked down at the bed. "There's room for you."

Cute when I sleep? Dave shook his head slowly. "I don't know if the hospital staff would appreciate me climbing in bed with you and disturbing your rest." He tilted his head. "Do you watch me sleep often?"

Spencer closed his eyes and patted the edge of the bed, inviting Dave to join him again. "Sometimes. Sometimes it helps me remember you're still there. I used... to watch my mom sleep a lot."

Dave licked his lips and moved to sit on the edge of the bed, suddenly unable to refuse for any reason. "I'll always be here, Spence. For the rest of my life."

"Mmm," Spencer hummed. "Sleep with me."

"I'm not sleepy right now. I'll sit with you." He ran his fingers through Spencer's hair again. "Besides, maybe I want to watch you sleep."

Spencer grinned, his expression going a bit blissful, and opened his eyes. "I like sleeping with you," he said, a flash of mischief in his eyes, and then he closed them again.

Dave laughed and tugged very gently at his hair. "I hadn't guessed," he teased, then leaned closer. "I like sleeping with you, too," he whispered.

Spencer hummed. He reached out for Dave's hand and brought it to his lips, almost snuggling it, then shifted until he was comfortable. "Sleep," he whispered, but he sounded like he was about to do that himself, rather than that he was ordering Dave to.

Dave's eyebrows went up, but he couldn't help being utterly charmed. He smoothed his free hand over Spencer's forehead, watching him closely enough that he was aware when his lover fell asleep. He was unwilling to pull away, even though Spencer wouldn't notice, so he just settled himself more comfortably and waited for whatever came next.


***


The first thing Spencer noticed was that his head was aching and his arm felt like it was on fire. He sucked in a sharp breath, then coughed and opened his eyes. A gripping fear seized his chest. What did I do?! he thought, but then he opened his eyes and it started to slowly filter back. He hadn't gone and done something stupid. He was in the hospital. He'd been attacked.

The memory of the unsub charging at him with that bat sprung to the front of his mind. He'd gotten his arm up in time, and it had cushioned the intended blow to his head. His head was only bruised, but his arm had absorbed the force of the impact. "God," he groaned, and then coughed. He needed more morphine. Or did he just want it? "God."

"Dave, actually. Sorry to disappoint." Gentle fingers brushed his hair back from his face and then lips were on his temple. "How are you feeling?"

"Like I'm going to die," Spencer said dramatically, without opening his eyes. "If you'd been God, I would have been so screwed."

Dave made a noise like he was stifling a laugh. "Your arm hurting you? I can get the nurse, see if they can get you something." He brushed his lips against Spencer's forehead again. "How can I help?"

Spencer frowned and held a whimper. It felt worse now. After the nice calm of the drugs, after the pain had been so easily taken away, he hurt worse than he did before. He knew it was psychological, that it wasn't real, but he still just groaned. "Something. Yes. What day is it?"

"It's very early Friday," Dave said. "Just after midnight. So I guess they did keep you overnight after all." His hand was still brushing through Spencer's hair, which was sort of reassuring and sort of annoying. Spencer knew he was just irritable because of the pain. "I'll go find a nurse."

Spencer nodded, but then finally opened his eyes. It was dim in the room, but not dark. "Why didn't you go back to the hotel?"

Dave was in the doorway, where he had paused. "Why would I do that?" He looked over his shoulder, then came back towards the bed. "I'm not going to leave my hot young husband alone in the hospital." He grinned and winked and Spencer, then left.

Spencer blinked at Dave for a moment. Had Dave just called Spencer his husband? Spencer had a funny sense of Déjà Vu, but then shook himself and waited for Dave to come back with the nurse. It was a different nurse than before. The shift must have changed.

She came over and took down the blood pressure cuff. "Hi, sweetie. Your dad said you needed something for the pain."

Dave started coughing and walked back out of the room.

Spencer scowled at her. "He's not my dad," Spencer said, his voice suddenly tight.

"Oh, sorry." She gave him an apologetic smile. "I forgot, they said your boss was here, didn't they?" She patted his good hand. "Your blood pressure and pulse are good. How's the pain? The doctor left instructions you could have one more dose of the morphine, or we could take you down to a non-narcotic, if you'd rather. Your choice." She was looking over his chart as she spoke.

"No, I think I need something stronger," Spencer said, a little shiver of fear and even more frightening want shooting through him at how easily those words just came out. He glanced at the door. Dave was still outside. "Are they going to send me home with something?"

"Mmm, I think they're going to give you a script for something, but I don't know what. I'll check with the doctor. He'll probably want to look in on you soon, anyway." She looked up from his chart and smiled cheerfully. "I'll be right back with that morphine." She started out, then paused. "Want me to send your boss back in, or do you need a little break?" She gave him a conspiratorial wink.

Spencer pursed his lips and looked across the room at her, giving her a flat stare. "He's not my boss either. He's the man I'm in love with."

Her expression blanked and she stared at him for a minute. Then a small, obviously forced smile reappeared on her face. "Right. I guess you don't need a break, then, huh." She turned and left, and a moment later Dave came back in, looking bemused.

"She give you something for the pain?" he asked, coming over and sitting next to Spencer's bed.

"Not yet," Spencer said, shifting and trying to hide the grimace of pain that he knew crossed his face. The longer he was awake, the worse it hurt. God, he wanted to be nice and numb again. "What'd she say to you?"

"Told me my 'little boy' wanted me," Dave said. He snorted. "First time that's ever happened. God, I feel old suddenly."

Spencer's mouth dropped open and he stared at Dave for a moment, then he snapped it shut. She'd said that after Spencer had told her the truth? He crossed his good arm over himself and scowled at the door to his room. She'd better knock him out fast the next time she came in, or she was going to get an earful.

Spencer wasn't entirely sure what he was going to say, but he knew he was grumpy enough to say something.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Dave's fingers curled around his elbow. "Look, I really don't care, okay? Hell, I am old enough to be your father, it was bound to happen sometime."

"That's not it," Spencer grumbled, but suddenly he didn't really want to tell Dave why he was actually angry. It looked worse on Dave than it did him that she knew what they were and was calling Spencer Dave's 'little boy'. Spencer clenched his jaw. How dare she?

"What, then? Spence, come on, talk to me. You've been out of sorts ever since you got here. Come on, you're not still upset about Wilkins getting the jump on you and Hotch, are you? It happens."

"Of course I'm upset," Spencer said. That wasn't what he was upset about right now, but Dave didn't need to know what he was really mad about. "Why didn't you go to the hotel?" he asked again. "Have you slept at all?"

"Sure, I napped for a while," Dave said. "Listen, I'm not going to leave you here alone." He leaned forward, his gaze intent on Spencer's. "I told you, whatever happens, I'm here. That means if you have to spend the night in the hospital, I'm gonna stay." He shook his head, smiling faintly. "Come on, what part of that do you not get, Spence? I love you. I'm sticking around."

"If you exhaust yourself, you can't take care of me," Spencer said, though he was half-joking.

Dave snorted. "I'm not exhausted. I'm not as old as that nurse thinks I am." His smile widened. "Look, I got some sleep. I'll get more sleep later when we're in the hotel room. When I can really snuggle up with you without scandalizing anyone." He winked.

Spencer felt the corner of his lips curl up, even if he was annoyed. He wanted Dave curled up behind him now. If he was honest, he wanted the morphine running through his blood stream and Dave curled up with him. God, it had been such a bad idea to take it when it was offered, but his arm was throbbing now, and he'd already done it once...

Someone knocked on the door. "Hi, Doctor Reid?" When he looked up, a nurse was at the door, smiling at them...but it wasn't the same nurse. "Um, I'm sorry if Olivia upset you somehow. She asked if I could bring your morphine down to you. How are you feeling?"

Spencer scowled. "Hurting," he answered, then said, "She's blaming me?"

"What?" She brought the morphine over and hooked it up to his IV. "She just said she thought she'd upset you or something. She thought maybe you were angry. Look, I'm really sorry if she upset you." She smiled faintly. "She's only been here a couple of weeks, we're still breaking her in." She was working efficiently as she spoke, and after a moment she nodded. "There you go, you ought to be feeling better in no time. And Doctor Calver said he'd be by in about twenty minutes to check on you. At this point though, you're probably gonna have to wait until morning to get out of here."

Spencer nodded, already feeling the tension start to drain out of him. It was nice. Warm. Comfortable. "I think I upset her, actually," he said, in spite of her already having moved on. "She should get used to having to deal with all sorts of people is she wants to work in a hospital."

"Hmm?" The nurse paused and looked down at him, concerned. "What happened? Something did happen, didn't it?"

"Spence?" He could hear the confusion in Dave's voice, but underneath that was something that said Dave wouldn't stop asking until he got an answer.

Spencer drew a heavy breath, feeling loose. "She didn't seem very comfortable with Dave not being my dad or my boss."

Her lips parted, then it apparently clicked, because she glanced from Spencer to Dave, then back again. "Oh, you two are...oh." She saw the ring on his finger, then, and bit her lip. "Oh shit, I'm sorry. Oh, shit, I'm not supposed to say shit. Um. Okay, I'll just go now. I'm really sorry she was like that, though."

Spencer snorted and smiled at her as she stumbled over her words, and then shook his head. "You're fine," he murmured.

She glanced at Dave, then back at Spencer. "Let me know if you need anything else." And she left.

Dave's silence was loud. Spencer glanced over at him, uncertain how he would react. His lover's jaw was clenched, his eyes narrowed.

"Suddenly the comment about my 'little boy' doesn't seem so funny," Dave said, his voice tight. "I wonder if the hospital administration knows they have bigots on their staff."

"Dave," Spencer said, and held out his good hand.

"What?" Dave snapped, but his expression softened when he looked Spencer. "What? What else did she say to you? Was she bitchy to you?"

"No. She was fine. That was it." It probably wouldn't have bothered him so much without knowing what she said to Dave, either. Spencer wiggled his fingers to get Dave to actually take the hand he'd offered. "Love you."

Dave sighed and laced their fingers together. "I love you, too." He leaned over and kissed Spencer's fingers. "You are remarkably affectionate when they give you morphine."

Spencer blinked at Dave for a moment, then dropped his gaze and frowned. He hadn't thought about that, but it hadn't even struck him as unusual before Dave mentioned it. A little spasm of shame shot through him over how he knew that he would be affectionate. "I'm not surprised," he muttered quietly. "I'm glad you're here."

"Hey, what was that frown for? I like it; it's cute." Dave kissed his lips tenderly, and Spencer could tell that Dave, at least, wasn't really thinking about how he might not be the first person Spencer had been high and 'affectionate' with. "I'm glad you're glad."

Spencer made a semi-conscious decision to drop the subject, and it was gone, the thought drifting along some other plane of existence. "I want to sleep with you," he murmured. Somehow, this seemed like a familiar conversation. "Take me home. Can I not sign myself out? You shouldn't be sleeping here," he said, but his lips were starting to feel funny.

"I think I'd rather you not be drugged to the gills when I take you home," Dave said. "At least not on morphine." He grinned. "You might hug our cab driver or something."

"I've done worse," Spencer blurted quietly, then wished that filter in his brain that kept him from saying stupid things was functioning properly. He pursed his lips. "You'd keep me from doing something I'd regret."

"Mmm, of course I would." Dave stroked his fingers along Spencer's good arm and kissed him. "I love you, Spencer Reid." He leaned their foreheads together, smiling at him. Spencer couldn't really see anything to smile about.

"I wish you'd been around before," he muttered, letting his head fall back. He stared at the ceiling, trying to make sense of the things going through his mind, but finding it easier just to accept the numbness he was feeling.

"Before?" Dave asked.

"The first time," Spencer murmured, and closed his eyes.

Dave made an unhappy noise and Spencer felt Dave's head rest against his shoulder. "I wish I had been, too," he said quietly. He sighed.

Spencer moved his good arm around Dave and tugged, trying to pull Dave into an embrace, but he didn't feel like he had any strength.

Dave complied, though, sliding an arm around him and holding him close.

"I love you," Spencer murmured. He turned his head and kissed Dave's temple.

Dave hummed and brushed his nose against Spencer's skin. "As soon as they'll let you leave, we'll head back to the hotel room and snuggle up in bed with something chocolatey from room service," he promised.

Spencer nodded. "I can't wait," he murmured.


***


It seemed like Dave had looked too carefully at him when they wheeled Spencer out of the hospital (against his protests, but wheelchairs were apparently standard after an overnight stay). And it seemed like he'd been glancing at him too often as he negotiated the Sacramento morning rush hour to get back to their hotel. Maybe Spencer was just hypersensitive about it, but he felt like he was being watched.

They were nearly to the hotel when Dave reached over and laced his fingers in Spencer's. "I'm glad to have you to myself finally," he murmured.

Spencer smiled faintly and told himself he was just being twitchy. His skin felt like it was crawling a little after the last shot of morphine had worn off and he'd been plunged back into sobriety. He remembered the feeling and tried to ignore it, but it wasn't easy. "Me too. I'm glad to be out of that gown."

"Mmm, I sort of liked it," Dave said, turning a grin on him. He flicked on the turn signal and pulled into the valet parking area. "Come on, let's get you upstairs so I can spoil you rotten and wait on you hand and foot."

"Don't need all that. I just want you in bed with me," Spencer said, but he didn't protest when Dave got his door. Dave tipped the kid at the door enough to make his eyes widen just to bring up their bags, and guided Spencer around to the elevator. He felt strange and distracted, but he leaned into Dave's touch anyway.

Dave pulled Spencer against him once they were in the elevator, wrapping his arms loosely around him. "I wish I could have kept you from being hurt," he murmured. "But since I couldn't, you're going to have to put up with me fussing over you and taking care of you." The elevator doors opened on the fifteenth floor and Dave guided Spencer out, paused to look at the room labels, then headed down the hall. Spencer draped himself against Dave while his lover unlocked the door, and then they were inside. Dave guided him immediately to the bed.

"It wasn't your fault; it was mine," Spencer said, but he let Dave pull back the covers and strip Spencer down to his boxers, and he settled under them awkwardly a moment later. The cast was more difficult to negotiate than he thought it would be. "Hotch's going to make me go on leave, isn't he?"

"It isn't Hotch, it's the policy," Dave said, settling down next to him. "You know the drill, mandatory psych eval and leave. You ought to take advantage of the time, anyway. You could fly back to Vegas for a while, spend some time with your mom."

Spencer nodded slowly. That actually wasn't a bad idea. He ignored the tiny voice in his head that told him that Dave wouldn't be around to watch him on the medication the doctor gave him if he was out of state. "Maybe I should," he said, then tugged Dave's arm. "Get in here with me."

Dave grinned and kissed him, then pulled away. "Hang on, let me at least get us drinks and wait for our bags to get here. There's a good chance I'll fall asleep the minute I lie down."

Spencer frowned. "I told you to come back here and get some sleep," he complained.

"Mmm, well, I wanted to be there with you." Dave eyed him. "And you said you were glad I was there. So no complaining." He pulled away and started undressing slowly, shoes and socks, unbuttoning his shirt. By the time the knock on their door said their bags had arrived, Dave had brushed his teeth and poured them both glasses of chilled water. Spencer had a feeling Dave would have been pouring himself a scotch if it weren't nine in the morning, but he decided not to say anything.

A few minutes later, Dave was crawling in bed with him in just his boxers. He smiled and kissed Spencer softly. "How are you feeling?"

"Hurting," Spencer said, and kissed Dave again. "When did the doctor say I could take something?"

"You didn't pay attention at all, did you?" Dave asked, but his voice was warm. "You can probably take something in another hour." He kissed Spencer again, more slowly. "In the meantime, I could try to take the edge off for you..." He grinned crookedly and cupped a hand against Spencer's cheek.

"One hour is close enough," Spencer said, but sifted his fingers into Dave's hair. "Could do both," he whispered, and kissed Dave.

"Mm, I prefer you less drugged if I'm going to suck you," Dave murmured. "Though I suppose your reactions might be interesting." He kissed Spencer again. "You can make it at least another twenty minutes." His lips slid down Spencer's jaw to his throat, where Dave sucked lightly.

Spencer groaned and closed his eyes. He wanted to protest, but he knew he shouldn't. He knew better than he should that insisting would just make Dave look at him more closely than he wanted to be looked at. "You've seen what I'm like," he breathed, brushing his hand down Dave's neck.

"Mmm, yeah, you're cute," Dave said, and nipped lightly. "God, I love you. You've obviously done something to my brain chemistry, because I think my addiction is to you." He nibbled his way lower and sucked harder at Spencer's skin. That was going to leave a mark.

Spencer made a strangled noise and drew his hand back up to curl his fingers in Dave's hair. God, it was actually sort of exciting that Dave could do that. They normally had to be so careful because of work. He shifted, pressing up into Dave's mouth, and then whimpered as a spasm of pain went through his arm.

Dave pulled back, glancing up at him. "Did I hurt you?" he asked hastily, and started to pull back. Spencer tightened his fingers in Dave's hair and shook his head, and Dave lowered his head to lick gently at the spot. "If you need it now..." he murmured, and then didn't finish his sentence.

Spencer hummed, liking the heat of Dave's tongue against where his skin was burning from the mark Dave left, but he nodded anyway. "I think I do," he whispered. He could probably wait, but why should he? He licked his lips as Dave got up and went for Spencer's prescription. It wasn't as strong as the morphine, and Spencer wondered for a split second if Dave would notice if he took an extra one.

God, this was bad. He shouldn't be letting himself think things like that. He swallowed the correct number of pills and handed the bottle back to Dave.

Dave settled back down in the bed, leaning over Spencer and smiling at him. "That shouldn't take long to kick in," he promised, brushing his fingers through Spencer's hair. "You'll be feeling better in no time." He nuzzled at Spencer's throat, then nibbled again. "Mmm, sexy."

Spencer whimpered again, but this time in pleasure. "Thank you," he whispered. He pressed up against Dave, his good hand sliding down over Dave's ass and squeezing. "Will you fuck me?"

"If that's what you want," Dave murmured. "I want to make you feel better." He nipped sharply at the spot where Spencer's neck and shoulder met, then soothed it with his tongue.

Spencer gasped, but encouraged Dave with his hands anyway. "I want you to suck me and fuck me," Spencer said, then grinned. "I want all of you."

"Greedy," Dave said, glancing up at him. His lips quirked to one side. "I'm more than happy to oblige." He worked his way down Spencer's chest, licking and sucking hungrily. "So beautiful, Spence," he murmured against Spencer's stomach.

"M'always greedy when it comes to you," Spencer panted, and bit his lip as Dave's mouth and tongue moved over a particularly sensitive spot on his side. "God," he panted. Dave wasn't wasting any time in making Spencer 'comfortable'; he hooked his fingers into Spencer's boxers and started pulling.

"Hmm." Dave grinned at him as his boxers slid down and his cock sprang free. "I love how fast I can get you hard," he murmured, and left Spencer's boxers at his knees in order to lean down and take his cock in deep.

"Nnghh!" Spencer exclaimed, arching off the bed. He loved it when Dave didn't tease. Of course, he loved it when Dave teased too. He loved everything Dave did to him. "Fantastic," he whispered as Dave started working his lips and tongue over Spencer.

Dave hummed and slid a hand up to cradle Spencer's balls, rolling them in his palm, then squeezing lightly. His tongue was working against Spencer's shaft, swirling around it, then just pressing as Dave sucked.

"God," Spencer groaned. His body was starting to get pleasantly tingly, and it wasn't all from Dave's ministrations either. He'd last longer than normal with his body sedated; he knew that. He smiled lazily and let his hand rest on top of Dave's head, riding the rise and fall of it. "You're so good," he murmured.

Dave groaned in acknowledgment, bobbing his head enthusiastically. His fingers slid up to tease the sensitive skin behind Spencer's balls, then circled lightly at his opening before moving back to massage his balls again.

Spencer let out another whimper and slid his leg up over Dave's shoulder, opening himself a little more and encouraging Dave's hand to roam again. "So fucking sexy," he whispered. "I love you."

"Nnh." Dave took the hint, circling Spencer's opening with a finger as he pulled back to give his attention to the head of Spencer's cock, then took him in deep again. A moment later he slid his finger in his mouth alongside Spencer's cock, slicking it with spit, and went back to press slowly inside.

"Ahhh," Spencer breathed, arching as Dave entered him with a finger. "I love you," he panted again. God, Dave was right; he really was affectionate like this. Dave's finger quickly pressed against his prostate and Spencer moaned loudly, thrusting into Dave's mouth without thinking.

Dave made a pleased noise and sucked harder, rubbing his finger against Spencer's prostate. His other hand slid up to pinch Spencer's nipple, then smoothed over his skin.

Spencer made a strangled noise and bit his lip. God, maybe he wouldn't last as long as he thought with Dave doing the sucking. He thrust again, because Dave didn't seem to mind; Dave seemed to enjoy it actually, and it was easier to give into the feeling right now than try to control himself. "This is so good," he murmured, his fingers stroking Dave's hair as his body hummed and tensed with pleasure.

That got a loud groan from Dave, his mouth tight and hot on Spencer's cock. He pressed against Spencer's prostate, his other hand stroking down Spencer's ribs to his ass. After a moment he pinched, making Spencer jerk automatically. Yes, Dave clearly did like having Spencer thrust into his mouth.

Spencer curled his fingers into Dave's hair and started to push up into the wet heat. "God," he moaned. "David." He loosened his grip on Dave's hair after a moment, not wanting to pull as he worked his hips into a gentle rhythm. Dave moaned, and the resulting vibration pushed a high-pitched noise of pleasure from Spencer, his body tightening more with each little circle of Dave's finger.

Dave hummed, pressing against Spencer's prostate again, and that was all that was needed. Spencer came, crying out happily as Dave swallowed his release, still working his tongue against Spencer's cock. When he was finished Dave pulled back and kissed Spencer hungrily, letting him taste himself.

Spencer moaned into the kiss, wrapping his good arm around Dave and splaying his fingers against Dave's back. God, this was good, the way he felt sort of floaty on top of the heady sensation of orgasm. "Fantastic," he murmured, nipping gently at Dave's lip.

"God, you're beautiful," Dave whispered, stroking his fingers through Spencer's hair. He kissed him again, then brushed kisses across Spencer's cheekbone. "So sexy, so wonderful." He reached Spencer's ear and nibbled at his earlobe. "I want to fuck you, Spence."

"Yes," Spencer whispered, his breath hitching a little at Dave's breath in his ear. His body was spent, and doubly pliant in combination with the painkillers, and Spencer thought getting fucked like this was an utterly fantastic idea. He slid his fingers to Dave's ass, and squeezed. "Inside me," he ordered quietly.

Dave growled happily in his ear and then pulled back to look at him. "I won't hurt you?" he asked softly, brushing his fingers against Spencer's cheek.

"Couldn't if you tried," Spencer said, grinning, and then wondered if maybe he shouldn't have said that.

Dave's eyebrows went up, but he just nodded and kissed Spencer again, shifting to press his hips against Spencer's. After a moment he groaned and rolled away. "Hang on," he murmured, and fumbled in his bag, coming back with the lube. "God, you get me so hard."

"Good," Spencer whispered, then hissed as the cool lubrication brushed over his entrance. It lasted only a second, though, and Dave was sitting back a little to slick his cock. Spencer admired him as he did. "You're handsome," he murmured.

Dave grinned faintly. "I bet you say that to all the guys," he teased, then an odd expression, almost apprehensive, crossed his face. "But I'm the only one who gets to hear it now," he said, and leaned down for a fierce kiss. When the kiss ended, Dave smiled at him again. "You're mine, Spencer Reid. My gorgeous, wonderful husband." And he pressed inside.

Spencer moaned, his body accepting Dave readily, and then curled his fingers against Dave's back. He couldn't help but laugh lazily. "Husband," he repeated, and shook his head.

"Mmm, you said it first," Dave murmured, sounding breathless. He rocked his hips gently. "I like it."

Spencer started to reply, but then he just groaned and slid a leg over Dave's hip, pulling Dave in deeper. "I... did?" he asked.

"Mm-hmm. Last night." Dave began really thrusting, though he was still moving slowly. "You were telling me...to shut up...but we'll ignore that."

"Mmm, of course we will," Spencer teased, and Dave gave him one sharp thrust that had him gasping, then slowed down again. "God, Dave," Spencer panted. "Fuck me."

Dave groaned and thrust hard again, watching his face. "You are utterly fuckable," he murmured, building quickly to a demanding rhythm. "Spence..."

"Yes!" Spencer gasped. He dropped his head back and let his eyes fall shut as Dave moved into him, and groaned when Dave took advantage of that and started licking and sucking at his throat again, his teeth worrying the skin under the corner of his jaw and probably leaving another little mark.

Dave was whispering praise and love at him, but Spencer's concentration was flagging, so he just focused on the way it felt as Dave drove into him, his thrusts hard and wonderful. He wouldn't have been able to muffle the noises of pleasure even if he'd wanted to. God, it had been so long since he'd experienced this sort of pleasure.

He came back to himself as Dave's movements grew jerky, his voice more urgent as he repeated Spencer's name...and then Dave came, the warm flood of his release filling Spencer.

Spencer made a pleased noise and stroked his hand up into Dave's hair. "You're amazing," he whispered; every part of him was tingling, and he knew he was smiling stupidly.

Dave hummed and eased down against him, kissing his neck. "So are you." He didn't shift out of Spencer right away, but then he said, "Am I on your arm?" and pulled away. He glanced down, then rolled to the side and wrapped his arms around Spencer.

"No," Spencer said, but by the time he said it, Dave was stroking a hand down his side. He shifted a little to kiss Dave, his lips soft and teasing.

"Mmm, I love you so much," Dave whispered. "I'm so glad you weren't hurt worse."

Spencer hummed happily, feeling his body start to tug him towards sleep now that he let himself relax. With help, he thought, but ignored it. "Me too," he mumbled.

Dave kissed Spencer again. "Do you need anything? 'm getting sleepy." His hand was still stroking over Spencer's skin, though, a comforting presence.

"Just need you. Sleep better with you," he whispered, then kissed Dave's forehead.

Dave hummed and snuggled against him. "Me, too."


***


Dave hung up his cell phone and turned away from the window to smile at Spencer. They were at the airport, and he had managed to change Spencer's ticket to Las Vegas without too much trouble. He wasn't looking forward to spending the next three weeks apart, but Spencer seemed to feel guilty a lot of the time about how little time he spent with his mother. This would give him a good chance to do just that.

"Okay, Hotch says he'll have the paperwork faxed to the Las Vegas field office, and you can fill it in when you get there, or tomorrow. That way your leave will be official and you don't have to make the trip back to Quantico just to fly back to Vegas." He slid his arm around Spencer's shoulders. "I'm going to miss you."

"What am I going to do in Vegas for three weeks?" Spencer asked. His medication was wearing off, and Dave could see the anxiety over seeing his mother creeping in under Spencer's skin. "I told Hotch I only needed one."

"Well, you can always come home early," Dave murmured, leaning in to kiss Spencer's cheek. "I won't object to that at all." They both knew, though, that Dave wouldn't be able to take much time away from work to entertain Spencer, and if the team got called away on a case it would leave Spencer rattling around the house with no company.

Spencer nodded, but he didn't look very happy. Dave had a feeling the pain was making Spencer irritable.

"Okay," Spencer said after a moment, then looked at Dave. "I'm going to miss you too."

"How will I sleep without you next to me?" Dave said, smiling up at him. He'd grown accustomed to waking up in the middle of the night and having to extricate himself from a tangle of Spencer's limbs in order to use the bathroom. He liked being able to snuggle back up against his lover in the not-quite-darkness of their bedroom. "Who will cook for me?" he teased.

It worked because Spencer managed a smile at that. "Top Ramen is easy, and there's some in your cupboard."

Dave snorted. "Great, yeah, I've been missing that since I graduated from college." He grinned at Spencer, though. God, he hated to send him away like this. He hated for them to be apart, period. He touched Spencer's cheek. "Maybe Hotch could finagle me a couple more days, I could come with you for a while."

"Maybe," Spencer said, but he didn't sound very enthused about the idea

"Gee, thanks," Dave muttered, but he wasn't offended. Dave and Diana Reid had seen each other briefly, during the case involving Riley Jenkins, but they'd never actually done introductions or even spoken. Diana knew about their relationship, in theory, but neither Dave nor Spencer were really looking forward to doing the official 'meet the parents' with her, even if Spencer had already met much of Dave's sprawling Catholic family.

Spencer rolled his eyes. "She's already not going to be happy about this," he said, holding up the arm that was in a cast. "Let's do that under better circumstances." He shifted and let his weight press against Dave.

"Mmm, if you say so." Dave tightened his arm around Spencer. "I just hate being away from you. And I really don't have anything to say but that, and you're going to get tired of me repeating myself pretty soon." After a moment he sighed and kissed Spencer briefly.

"I'm already tired of it," Spencer teased, and then he looked over at the terminal when they started boarding, calling a few rows at a time. He looked at his ticket, pursed his lips, and then glanced back at Dave.

"Right, how could I forget? My lover doesn't like talking about emotions." Dave sighed, though he was gazing warmly at Spencer. "Call me. You can tell me a bedtime story every night." Not that he really expected Spencer to call every night, if he got busy, but it would be nice to hear his voice, anyway.

"I'll call when I get in," Spencer said, then wrapped his arm around Dave to give him a hug goodbye. "I love you," he murmured, sounding more cautious in the way he usually did when he said those words, not like he had over the last twenty-four hours when he'd been drugged up.

Dave smiled and hugged him tightly. "I know," he murmured, relieved that at least Spencer wasn't abusing his prescription. He would be all right. Three weeks wasn't forever. "I love you, Spencer. Forever." He kissed Spencer firmly, then let him go, his left thumb moving automatically to trace the ring on his finger.

"Okay," Spencer said, and gave Dave's hand a squeeze before pulling away.


***

Part Two