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geekystudmuffinTitle: The Last Best Days
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
innerslytherin and severity_softly
Artist:tli
Pairing: Hotch/Rossi
Rating: NC-17
Word count: 147,800
Summary: Futurefic--Shortly before Dave turns sixty, he is diagnosed with a grade III brain tumor. He and Aaron have to come to terms with what this means for their relationship. Eventually the team has to help Aaron say goodbye.
Notes: Heavy angst. Lots of medical detail. Character death. This fic would not exist without the extensive help, support, encouragement, and hand-holding fromresolucidity, who served as our medical consultant throughout.
Master post
Chapter Fourteen
It didn't matter how much they didn't want to do it; they had to start telling everyone else about their decision. Dave was sure the team knew it wasn't a good sign when he and Aaron invited them over for dinner the following week.
As expected, Spencer took it the hardest. He didn't need to drink himself into a stupor this time. He got sick without the aid of alcohol.
Everyone cried. Even Derek shed a few tears, though Dave could tell he was trying to "take it like a man". Emily was the worst, and she spent most of the night soaking Dave's shoulder with tears as he stroked her arm. She and Spencer stayed at the house for hours after the rest of the team trickled out, and when Aaron offered to let them share the guest bedroom, they all but jumped on the offer.
Dave felt somehow as if he were letting them down, but as much as he hated the whole damn situation, he knew he was doing the right thing. He was already feeling better; the fatigue had receded and though he was still experiencing severe headaches, he hoped that following his first appointment with the hospice team, the pain would be more manageable.
He waited until he'd gotten his morphine pump before calling his parents. He didn't want this to hit them too hard, so he wanted to be in the best condition possible. Mama Rosa had always been able to just tell when something was wrong from the sound of his voice; all her life she'd done it. From the moment he opened the conversation with, "Hi, Mama," she asked what was wrong, and he'd had to admit right away why he was calling. She and his father took it better than he had expected, though the next night his brother Tommy called tearfully.
He hadn't told Georgie or Felicia yet. Since they both lived in New Jersey with their spouses, he talked Aaron into going up there the weekend before they flew to Ireland. He'd already extracted a promise from his parents to keep the family from telling them ahead of time.
It was for that reason that, even though they were looking forward to their trip, Aaron and Dave were both a little on edge as they got ready to head to New Jersey. "Do we have your medicine?" Aaron asked. It had to be at least the third time he asked.
"Aaron," Dave said, pushing down his annoyance. "I am wearing the morphine. That's the most important one. But yes, I also have the anti-seizure meds in my carry-on with all the required documentation, and I have the statement from hospice that I'm allowed to carry narcotics around with me." He kissed Aaron's jaw to temper his tone. "Do you have your passport and your guidebooks?" he added, smiling faintly.
Aaron gave him a sheepish look. "Yes," he said, then tilted his head to kiss Dave. "Sorry. I'm just..." He shrugged, then couldn't seem to stop himself. "You do have enough to last you our entire trip, right?"
"I have enough," Dave said. He slid his fingers through Aaron's hair. "Question is, do you have enough of your drugstore purchases to last our entire trip?" He waggled his eyebrows at Aaron.
Aaron snorted and kissed Dave again. "I'm being serious."
Dave grinned. "I know. So am I." He wrapped an arm around Aaron and kissed him more slowly. "We need to start driving or we'll get to Georgie and Mary's too late for dinner."
Aaron nodded. "Yeah," he agreed. "Felicia and Andrea are coming for dinner too?" he asked, and Dave nodded. They'd wanted to get the news out of the way all together, rather than having to do it twice. Aaron gave Dave a sad smile and kissed him. "You ready for this?"
"As ready as it's possible to be," Dave said with a sigh. "I made it through telling the team." He leaned against Aaron for a moment. "We'll get through it. And then we can run away from our problems for a while on the Emerald Isle." He paused, then snorted. "Maybe I shoulda taken up poetry."
Aaron laughed. "I think I'd rather be in love with you than Yeats." He kissed Dave.
"All right, you Philistine," Dave grumbled. "Come on, daylight's burning. Did you give Spencer a key so he can feed Fuzzy?"
"Yeah," Aaron said, picking up their bags. "You gave him and Emily the numbers for Haley and your parents, and the flight and hotel information?"
Dave nodded. That might have been the best decision where those two were concerned. It had seemed to focus and almost calm them both a little to have a "job" to do for Aaron and Dave, a responsibility to them. Almost as if giving them all the emergency information gave them a way to keep Dave and Aaron "safe".
They were planning to give Georgie and Felicia the same information, and hopefully it would work as well with them. Of course, there was always the possibility that they might just scream at him for having some nerve to ask that after they were the last to know.
Dave sighed and picked up the cat, giving him a last scratch behind the ears and cuddling him gently. "Okay," he murmured, and set Fuzzy back down. "Let's go."
One thing he really missed was driving. He'd insisted that they take his car instead of Aaron's, because a road trip, even the short trip up to Jersey, demanded something sportier than Aaron's practical and safe vehicle.
Dave dozed a little in the car, so he was feeling pretty good when they pulled up at Georgie's house. Aaron grabbed their bags while Dave went up to knock. Georgie beat him to the door though, and came out to give Dave a hug. "God damn it, you look good, Davey," he said, squeezing Dave tightly.
"Hey," Dave said in greeting. He smiled and squeezed Georgie back, ignoring the twinge of discomfort from having the port gripper pushed into his skin. "It's good to see you." He pulled back and held Georgie's shoulders, studying his face. "You been managing yourself all right without me?"
"Never, you oughta know that. Come on inside! Mary's just dying to see you, and Gena said she'd try to get down from Columbia before you guys head out." Georgie tugged Dave inside. "Aaron! How's it going? Leave that, I'll get it in a while. Come in, get a drink in ya!"
"Really, it's fine," Aaron said, and carried the bag to the door anyway. Dave rolled his eyes at Georgie in exasperated fondness, and then Georgie grabbed the bags from Aaron as soon as he got to the door.
He put them down just inside the door and pointed a finger. "You touch them again, you get a black eye," he threatened, then grinned and gave Aaron a hug.
Aaron hugged him back, then laughed after a moment. "Well, when you put it that way..."
"He means it too," Dave said, grinning faintly. "I ever tell you about the time he blacked my eye because he thought I was looking sideways at Mary?"
"Oh, David Anthony Rossi, that's a tissue of lies," Mary said, coming up behind him and leaning in to kiss his cheek. "He blacked your eye because he thought I was looking back."
Laughing, Dave turned and hugged her properly. "More beautiful than ever," he said.
Mary cupped his cheek and smiled at him affectionately, then looked at Aaron. "Anyone ever tell you you ought to keep an eye on him with the ladies?"
"Just every woman who's ever met us," Aaron said, and hugged her when she went to him next. "Are Felicia and Andrea here yet, or did we beat them?"
"We're here, getting drunk and waiting on you old guys!" Felicia called from the living room. "We've got a bottle of Bartolo here with Davey's name on it."
Dave felt a surge of emotion go through him, and he couldn't decide if it was joy, sorrow, or apprehension. Probably a mixture of all three. He suddenly wondered if he should start out the visit with his announcement, or if he should wait. But he couldn't let everyone go on thinking he was getting better, could he? He glanced at Aaron.
Aaron's smile faded a little when he caught Dave's eye, then he reached out and gave Dave's hand a squeeze. Dave wasn't sure if it was reassuring or not. He cleared his throat. "Hey, why don't you be quiet already and let us get settled?" he called, and gestured at the bags.
Georgie snorted and grabbed them, bringing them down the hall to the guest bedroom, calling after him that they'd be right back.
As soon as he left Aaron and Dave in the guest bedroom, Aaron looked at Dave, his gaze apprehensive. "You okay?"
Dave sighed. "Just nervous about telling them," he admitted. He went to Aaron and leaned against him, kissing his jaw. "You're here. I can do this."
Aaron held him tightly, though he had learned to be careful of the port. "It's not going to be fun, but they'll have to understand." He stroked a hand over Dave's shoulder. "Tell me what you need right now."
"This is good," Dave murmured. "And a kiss." When Aaron complied with that, Dave grinned. "And maybe a quick blow job in the guest bathroom?"
Aaron arched a brow. "If you think we have time," he teased.
"You'd better not be sucking face back there," Georgie shouted. Dave sighed and then uttered a loud complaint that he was sure Georgie could hear down the hall. He grinned and kissed Aaron briefly, then pulled away.
"I'll be okay," he murmured, and twined his fingers with Aaron's.
"Love you," Aaron whispered, then let Dave lead them back down the hall to the living room.
Felicia was curled up on the couch, catlike, leaning against Andrea. When Dave and Aaron got into the room, though, she jumped up and threw her arms around Dave. "God! I've missed you so much, Davey," she whispered. "You've worried us."
He wrapped his free arm around her waist and kissed her cheek. "You obviously need something else to worry about," he teased. "Hi, Andi. Knocked up yet?"
"Forget it," she retorted. "We're adopting."
"Damn, and here I was thinking you might want some of these fabulous genes I got to offer." He grinned at her. He would have greeted her properly, but Felicia was still hanging onto him. "Okay, Fel, you can let me go."
"It's just so good to see you," she whispered. "And you look so strong. You look great. Even without your hair."
He felt like he'd swallowed a rock that was slowly growing into a boulder. God, he was going to have to tell them now. He couldn't let them keep thinking...
"Let the man breathe, Fel," Georgie said. "Here, Davey, have a glass of wine. Aaron? The Bartolo for you, or something else? We got about five different wines. Only one of 'em's white, though."
Aaron shook his head. "I'm happy with whatever you're all having," he said. He glanced at Felicia. "You know, the baldness is growing on me," he said, smiling then cleared his throat. "You know, whenever you let him go, I'm standing right here."
She made a funny squeak and then laughed and let go of Dave to hug Aaron. "It isn't that I'm not happy to see you, Aaron," she said, beaming at him. "It's just...wow. He looks so good. You look so good," she said, turning back to Dave.
"Shh, you're gonna make me blush," he said. He took the glass of wine Georgie was holding out and went to sit in one of the chairs. "I'm feeling a lot better these days too," he said. He tapped his chest. "It's the morphine pump. I shouldn't drink much, by the way, but hell, one glass won't kill me." He felt his smile twist a little, but he had to joke about it. Otherwise he'd just be angry and bitter, and bitterness was annoying as hell.
Aaron's lips pressed together, and he went to sit next to Dave without bothering to get a glass. He wrapped his fingers around Dave's just as Felicia managed, "Morphine?" She huffed something that sounded half-disbelieving and half-confused. "What morphine? What are you talking about?"
Dave shrugged. "Well, the good thing about cancer is, no one cares if you're a drug addict." He tried another smile, but that one didn't work. Georgie's good humor had faded and Dave suddenly wondered if he was doing this wrong. He glanced at Aaron, then took a deep breath. "Thing is," he said quietly, "the chemo wasn't working. The cancer's spreading pretty fast. So we talked it over, and I stopped treatment a couple of weeks ago. I've gained back a hell of a lot of quality of life, and the morphine's part of that."
He stopped talking and took a sip of the wine. God, he did like a good Bartolo.
Felicia opened her mouth and made a noise that sounded like his name. Georgie and Mary were just staring at him with stricken expressions. Andrea, he noticed, looked sad, but she didn't look very surprised.
Aaron squeezed his hand. "If we do it this way, Dave gets to spend the rest of whatever time he has in relatively good health, instead of sick and weak."
He opened his mouth again, but Felicia narrowed her eyes at him. "You're okay with this?" she said, her tone accusatory.
Aaron looked like he didn't want to answer at first, and Dave got another sick jolt that maybe Aaron was regretting this, but then Aaron shook his head. "No, I'm not," he said. Dave almost got angry until he added, "But it's better than the alternative, no matter how I wish that wasn't the case."
Georgie leaned forward and buried his face in his hands. Mary touched his shoulder. "How long?" she whispered.
Dave shrugged. "Don't know," he said. "Doctor Morgan said it could be three months, could be ten. Or hell, my...my...I could be in a crash tomorrow. Who knows? I got however much time God's gonna give me."
"Don't you dare be flippant about this!" Felicia snarled. Dave knew it was just the way she reacted to things--she got angry at the stuff that scared her. But it poked at his own temper.
"If I can't laugh at death, what the hell can I laugh at?" he retorted. But he couldn't stay angry at her, not with those green eyes welling up with tears. "Oh, God, Fel, you didn't see what it was like those last couple of months. I was so fucking miserable all the time, I hurt all the time, I was scared, I was exhausted..." He shook his head. "The worst of it was I was feeling sorry for myself all the time." He didn't say that it hadn't been until he'd thought about taking his Glock out of the safe and putting it in his mouth that he'd actually started researching palliative care with what energy he had. He didn't think any of them needed to know that.
Aaron rubbed his thumb over Dave's, and Felicia wiped at her cheeks. "So what? You're giving up? You're just gonna sit around and wait to die. God, David, you're such an asshole."
"Thanks," he said, his voice tight. This was actually better than tears, he supposed. "I'm not going to sit around and wait to die. I'm going to Ireland. I'm going to see some beautiful sights and have lots of sex--which I haven't got to do in a long time, I'd like to point out. I'm going to do my damnedest to make whatever time I have left the best time Aaron and I have ever had together. And most of all I'm not going to lie around in a bed waiting to die."
Aaron lifted a hand and pressed it over his eyes, then let out a breath and shook his head, just barely. On the other side of him, Andrea snickered. "How did you wind up with a shy lover?" she asked.
"This isn't funny!" Felicia shouted at her, and Georgie finally lifted his head and held out his hand in a gesture meant to quiet her.
"How can you let him do this?" Felicia demanded. Dave wasn't sure if she was talking to Aaron or not, since she was glaring at Georgie. Then she turned to look at Aaron, tears spilling down her flushed cheeks. "How can you give up on him? Why haven't you talked sense into him? Can't you tell the doctor's he's lost his mind from the fucking cancer?"
Aaron opened his mouth to answer, but then just wound up staring at her, seemingly unable to speak. He drew a shaky breath, and then his eyes went glassy. Dave was just about to speak for him, when Aaron finally managed to say, "I'm sorry." It sounded less like a personal apology, though, and more like an 'I'm sorry that this is how it has to be'.
"You're sorry?" she asked. "You're letting Davey die, and you're sorry?! I can't believe it. I know he's pigheaded and stupid, but I always thought you could see through it. Guess I was wrong."
Aaron was just taking it, not reacting even if Dave could tell her words were getting to him, and when she took a breath, he repeated, "I'm sorry."
"You fucking should be sorry!" she shouted.
"Hey!" Dave snapped. "Don't talk to Aaron like that. You don't know what he's been through. This has been hell for him too, you know? He's the one who's been watching me get sicker, and he's the one who's going to have to live without me." He closed his hand more tightly around Aaron's. "And he's part of your family, and if you don't regret those words now, you will soon. Don't be a bitch, Fel. He's my lover, not my parent. We make decisions together, but he doesn't control me, and he's never tried."
"Davey," Mary said quietly. "Felicia. Please."
Felicia pressed her lips together and stared at Dave, her gaze hurt and angry. Then she let out a breath, shaking her head and looking away. "I need a fucking cigarette," she snarled and stood.
Dave huffed an angry laugh and threw back, "Those things'll kill you."
"Fuck you," she snapped, and then she left out the back door. Andrea quickly apologized and followed her.
Dave suddenly realized how tense he was. He sighed heavily and tried to make himself relax. Then he glanced over at Georgie, who was Felicia's opposite in reactions. He'd paled, drawing in on himself. He was staring at Dave, but his eyes didn't really seem to be focused on him.
"God, Georgie, I'm sorry," Dave said, hit by another pang of regret. "I really am. But...I can't begin to tell you how bad it was. And nothing was going to cure it. I just couldn't--"
"It's okay," Georgie interrupted, his voice hollow. "Davey, it's okay." And that was when he started crying, his shoulders heaving with heavy, wracking sobs. It sent another horrible pang of guilt and grief through Dave, and he squeezed Aaron's hand once more, then pulled away and went to hold on to Georgie.
He ran his hand over Georgie's back, glancing briefly at Mary, who was watching them, her expression pained.
"I hate this," Aaron said quietly. "I hate it as much as any of you. I wish... I wish we were here under better circumstances."
"Aaron, don't blame yourself," Mary replied, her voice warm. "You've done so much for Dave...Felicia doesn't understand how hard it is on you both." Dave was grateful when she stood and hugged Aaron. The last thing Aaron needed was to have people blaming him for Dave's decision.
"I'm sure she does," Aaron said. "She's just upset. I was pretty angry when Dave mentioned it the first time." He held her back for a moment, then she moved to sit on the couch next to him.
"Maybe it seems like I'm giving up," Dave said. "But I don't feel that way. I'm just taking control of one of the few things left under my control." Georgie let out a muffled sob and wrapped his arms around Dave again. "I'm sorry," Dave whispered.
"No, no," Georgie managed. "Don't apologize, Davey. Don't..."
"I think I'll have that glass of wine now," Aaron said after a moment, and Mary laughed sadly.
"I'll get it," she said. Aaron protested, but Mary made him sit while she got a glass, disappearing into the kitchen to get some of the white wine, regardless of Aaron saying he didn't care what it was.
The rest of the evening didn't go well. Felicia and Andrea eventually came back inside, but dinner conversation was stilted and Felicia's responses were all clipped. It was obvious she was still angry, but Dave didn't know what to do to make her get over it. He wouldn't stand for her blaming Aaron for supporting him, but he couldn't exactly order her to be cordial.
When they left, Andrea kissed Dave's cheek and murmured that Felicia would come around. Dave knew she would; he just hoped she would come around before he died. Georgie ended up getting pretty drunk, but his mood improved from grief-stricken to melancholy to just reminiscent as the night went on. Eventually Mary excused them and Dave and Aaron were left to get ready for bed.
Dave had trouble falling asleep, but eventually Aaron's embrace soothed him. The next day went better; though Gena was obviously saddened by Dave's announcement, she took it with all the grace that Felicia had been lacking. Dave didn't tell her that he had provided an inheritance for his god-daughter in his will; she'd find out soon enough.
Sunday they were to fly out, and there was a hurried family lunch before they caught a cab to the airport. On the way Aaron's phone rang, and he held a terse conversation with someone. When he hung up, he wouldn't say who it was. Dave eyed him suspiciously, but didn't make an issue of it.
When they got to the airport, he realized who had been calling, because Felicia was standing by the ticket counter, scanning the crowd anxiously. When she saw them, she ran over and threw her arms around Dave.
"I love you," she said. "I love you so much. I'm angry, but I can't let you leave and you not know that." When she pulled back, her cheeks were wet, and she wiped at them. "I mean, I know you know that, but... I'm sorry. Not for how I feel, but... you know." She cupped his face in her hands, and more tears rolled down her cheeks silently.
"I know," he said gently. He kissed her forehead, then pulled her close, stroking her hair. "I know, cara. I do understand." He glanced at Aaron. She didn't need to apologize to Dave. It was Aaron she should apologize to.
She wrapped her arms around him again and buried her face against his neck. "I can't even imagine how much I'll miss you. I can't stand it."
"I know," he whispered, and kissed her hair. "I'm so sorry, Fel. I wish I could change things." He sighed and looked at Aaron again. It ought to feel good to have so much evidence that people loved him, but he mostly just felt guilty for dying on them.
She pulled back and looked at Dave for a moment longer, then glanced at Aaron, her expression changing. Dave couldn't quite read it. "Aaron," she said, and he held up a hand.
"It's fine," he said. Dave suddenly had the horrible thought that he could die and she and Aaron might not ever be close again.
She pressed her lips together and shook her head. "It isn't fine," she said. "I was..."
"I understand," he said quietly.
"You know I love you too, right?" she said, and Dave took a long breath of relief. "I just..." She shook her head. She couldn't seem to actually spit out an apology to Aaron, which Dave suspected meant she still blamed him, even if she knew she shouldn't.
Aaron's lips thinned, but he nodded. "I know."
"Be careful," she said, looking from Aaron to Dave. "And...and have fun. You're coming back, right?"
"That's the plan," Aaron said.
"Yeah," Dave said. "We'll be back." He hugged Felicia again. "I love you, Fel."
When he pulled back, she extended a hand to Aaron. "I'm sorry," she said, and Dave could tell it was forced, but at least she'd said it.
Aaron took her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze, but only nodded in response.
"Hey, Fel, I do love you, but if we miss our flight I'm gonna kick your ass. We've still got...that place. To get through the...the machines." Dave kissed the side of her head, then pulled away. "We'll see you in a few weeks, okay?"
"Okay," she said, giving him a faint smile. "Have a good trip," she told them, then kissed Dave's cheek before letting them go.
They didn't get a chance to really talk until they'd checked their bags and cleared security, then settled in at the gate to wait for their flight to be called. Once they were sitting, Dave curled his fingers unobtrusively with Aaron's and said, "She'll get over it." He didn't add, Will you? despite wanting to.
"I know," Aaron said. He looked over at Dave, watching him for a moment, then giving him a small smile. It looked almost unsure.
"You're part of the Rossi family for the rest of your life, you know that, right?" Dave squeezed Aaron's hand. He probably did know, considering the way Rita still sometimes showed up for Thanksgiving dessert.
Aaron let of a breath and looked away. "I don't know how I'm going to do that," he said, but then shook his head. "I thought we were going away so we didn't have to worry."
"You don't have to worry," Dave said, smiling. "They'll make sure to keep you." He sighed. "I love you, Aaron. Thank you for going with me."
"Well, I wasn't going to let you go alone," Aaron said, looking back at Dave with another smile, his fingers stroking Dave's. "You're sure you have enough medicine?"
"I have enough, Mom," Dave teased.
"I just want to make sure," Aaron said. He looked at Dave, his gaze tracing Dave's features. "I thought we decided you were mom."
Dave huffed a sigh. "Dad, then," he said, and grinned at him.
They settled into quiet conversation until their flight arrived. The flight was seven and a half hours, and Dave wasn't really looking forward to it, especially since he didn't want to sleep during the flight. It would be late there by the time they got in, and it would be easier to just crash the first night than it would be to try to adjust to the time difference over time.
Of course, Dave as still building his strength back up, and realized a few hours into the flight that it had been wishful thinking to stay awake the whole time. He dozed a few times, and half-way through the flight he woke to find Aaron watching some horrible in-flight movie.
Aaron smiled affectionately at him, and told Dave he'd gotten a second set of headphones in case Dave wanted them. Dave was warmed by the gesture, but decided that sleep was more interesting than anything Adam Sandler could possibly be doing on screen.
He shifted to rest his head against Aaron's shoulder and pretended to watch the movie as long as he could keep his eyes open, just to make Aaron feel better. Of course, it didn't take long for Aaron to call him on that, so Dave took the headphones off and fell asleep again. He didn't wake until Aaron shook him to say they were about to land.
They picked up their rental car and made it to the hotel, which fortunately had room service, because Dave was feeling groggy and unfit to be out in public. Not to mention he was also hoping to get Aaron to feed him, at which point he planned to seduce him.
Aaron looked tired, and Dave wondered if he'd slept on the plane at all. He just lugged the bags into the room and started unpacking, though. "What do they have?" he asked from the closet as Dave looked over the room service menu.
"Sandwiches, soups, fish and chips..." Dave glanced at the dessert menu, wondering if he could get strawberries and champagne. He smirked faintly to himself, then filled one of the plastic cups with water as the thought reminded him that his little blue pills needed half an hour to work. If he didn't take those, he wasn't going to succeed in seducing Aaron at all.
"Mmm," Aaron hummed. "Just order me... something. Something easy to eat so I don't have to think about it." He came back out to the bed and kissed Dave briefly, then dragged another bag to the closet. "We're here for three weeks. I think we can get away with sleeping very late tomorrow."
"I agree." Dave ordered for them both, then sprawled on the bed, watching Aaron. "Don't do all that tonight. You should come lie down with me until our food gets here."
"It's not going to put itself up," Aaron said, "And the sooner I do it, the less we have to worry about." He hung a few more things, then glanced back at Dave, who was frowning at him. Aaron sighed. "Fine," he said, then left the bag on the floor and went to crawl into bed next to Dave.
"Listen, I'm the anal-retentive neat freak in the family," Dave said, wrapping his arms around Aaron. "And if I can let it wait until tomorrow, surely you can too." He kissed Aaron soundly instead of letting him argue.
Aaron made an amused sound against his mouth and slid his arm around Dave's waist. He settled against Dave and melted. "I might fall asleep before the food gets here if I lie here."
Dave grinned. "Oh, I'll keep you awake," he promised, shifting his hips against Aaron's. He slid a hand down to cup Aaron's ass.
Aaron sucked in a breath and opened his eyes again, and Dave could feel how quickly Aaron was responding already. It was sort of a shame that they'd gone without so long, but it was extremely satisfying to be able to feel how much Aaron missed this.
"I sincerely hope you are the one who's planning to answer the door with an erection."
"Mmm, I don't know, I'm feeling a little tired," Dave said, grinning at him. "I think I should just lie here while you answer the door." He kissed Aaron softly. That was, predictably, when someone tapped at the door.
Dave raised his eyebrows, but when it became clear that Aaron had no intention of moving, Dave sighed heavily and got up, still grinning. He paid the man at the door and tipped him generously, then carried the tray over to the bed. "Not quite breakfast in bed, but it might as well be, considering what time it is at home," he said.
"God, I'm not sure whether to be hungry, horny, or sleepy anymore," Aaron murmured, looking at Dave and propping himself up in bed. His eyes did look tired, but affectionate, and he looked more than willing to stay awake a little longer with the right sort of motivation.
"All of them, in that order," Dave said. He leaned over the tray and kissed Aaron slowly, then held out a sandwich with a smile.
Aaron chuckled, but took the food and started eating. Dave made a point of doing suggestive things with his food, which only made Aaron snort and roll his eyes, thought at one point his expression went a little sadly thoughtful.
At that, Dave reached out and brushed his knuckles against Aaron's cheek. "What's that look for?" he asked quietly.
Aaron smiled half-heartedly a shook his head. "What look?"
"You look a little sad," Dave murmured. He leaned in and kissed Aaron softly. "What is it?"
Aaron sighed and shook his head. "I don't want to ruin this. We were having fun."
"We are having fun," Dave said quietly. He kissed Aaron again. "But you can say it if you need to."
Aaron stroked his fingers over Dave's cheek, then looked down. "I was just thinking I was going to miss your stupid jokes."
"Stupid?" Dave gave a mock gasp. "You mean...I'm not funny?" He kissed Aaron again. "I bet you'll realize that you already know all my stupid jokes," he murmured, smiling faintly.
"Doesn't matter. Memories aren't the same," Aaron said. He expelled a breath, then shook his head and smiled. "I'm sorry. Go back to fellating your pickle; I'm fine."
Dave eyed him for a moment, then tilted his head. "I'm actually not too interested in my pickle any more. I'm more interested in your pickle." He leered.
Aaron coughed, then started laughing. After a moment, he kissed Dave, still chuckling against his lips. He pulled back, and grinned at Dave. "Laughter aside, that joke was a prime example of your stupid jokes."
"See? I am funny," Dave said, and grinned back at him.
Aaron pressed his lips together, and gave Dave a disbelieving look, then just went back to his sandwich.
Dave really was more interested in Aaron's body than finishing his meal, so he set his plate aside and shifted until he could stroke a hand up and down Aaron's thigh. He spent the next several minutes teasing Aaron while he finished his sandwich.
"Mmm," Aaron hummed, wiping his mouth and hands and putting the napkin aside. He kissed Dave softly. "You're not tired?" he whispered.
"I'm horny," Dave said. "I'll be tired later." He slid his hand up further along Aaron's thigh.
Aaron huffed a laugh. "I missed you. Missed this," he said, his voice soft. "But I don't want to wear you out."
"We're sleeping in tomorrow," Dave said, leaning in for a slow kiss. "So it's okay to wear me out tonight."
Aaron hummed and slid his arm over Dave's waist. "If you say so," he whispered, and Dave smiled against his lips.
"I say so." He kissed Aaron again, moving his hand so his fingers brushed against Aaron's cock through his pants. "Sexy."
Aaron was already hard, and Dave repressed a smirk as Aaron sucked in a breath. "Love you," he whispered. "Want you. That okay?"
"God, yes," Dave agreed instantly. He pressed his fingers more deliberately against Aaron's erection, though he was careful not to give too much pressure yet.
"Need to really feel you," Aaron said. He leaned in and kissed along Dave's jaw, pressing himself against Dave's hand a little more. Dave rubbed for a moment, then let his hand back. Aaron let out a disappointed noise.
"I want that," Dave breathed. "Want to be in you." He kissed Aaron hungrily. "I want to show you how much I've wanted you."
"Yes," Aaron moaned. His fingers started pulling open the buttons of Dave's shirt, just enough that he could pull it over Dave's head. The his lips were working down Dave's throat.
Dave arched his head back, giving Aaron more room. At the same time he started working Aaron's pants open. He wasn't interested in teasing just now. He was interested in fucking.
Aaron hummed happily, and shifted to make it easier on Dave. His hand slid over Dave's chest and he rolled Dave's nipple lightly between his fingers.
Dave groaned and tugged at Aaron's pants, trying to get him to lift his hips to get out of them entirely. "God, Aaron," he breathed. He suddenly felt like he might catch fire if he didn't get Aaron's naked skin against his own soon.
Aaron shifted, then kicked out of his pants, his hands going to Dave's pants as he did. He kissed Dave with need as he unzipped him and slid a hand under Dave's boxers and over his hip. "You haven't been holding out on me, have you?" he whispered.
"Nnh," Dave said, nipping at Aaron's jaw. "No," he managed when he tried again. "Just need you now." He was breathing hard, he realized. God, he wanted Aaron so much. He'd been feeling much better lately, but he suddenly hoped his strength wouldn't give out now.
"Good," Aaron said. He pulled his own shirt off and tossed it aside, then kissed down Dave's chest, flicking his tongue at a nipple. "You're so sexy."
"M'practically scrawny these days," Dave muttered, his breath catching in his throat. "God, Aaron. Feels good." He buried a hand in Aaron's hair. "Love your chest."
Aaron hummed a happy noise and bit Dave's nipple lightly. "I love your body. Before, after, I don't care," he murmured.
Aaron's words were just as arousing as his touch. "Love you," Dave breathed, stroking Aaron's hair. He shifted closer. "Want to be inside you. Need you, Aaron."
"Yes," Aaron whispered. He pushed at Dave's pants and they both shifted to get Dave as undressed as Aaron, then Aaron pulled Dave until he rolled on top. Aaron stroked a hand over Dave's cheek. "So sexy."
Dave groaned and kissed Aaron hungrily. "I missed having sex with you," he murmured, nibbling at Aaron's lower lip. "Glad my body's obeying me now." He rolled his hips against Aaron's, letting their erections press together. It sent a flush of pleasure through him, and he silently thanked Doctor Morgan for the Viagra that was letting him get his sex life back for a little while.
Aaron must have been thinking along those lines too, because he reached down and curled his fingers around Dave's cock. "God," he whispered, tilting his head to kiss Dave slowly as he stroked a few times. "Does it feel the same?"
Dave gasped and nodded. "Yeah, mmm," he managed. "Unh, God, Aaron, feels so good." It was such a welcome gift to be able to really enjoy physical intimacy again. "Love you so much."
"I love you too," Aaron said. He slid his hands to Dave's ass and pulled him down, grinding up against Dave with a groan. When he let go, he shifted and leaned over the bed. Dave was suddenly glad Aaron had started unpacking, because the bag with the lube was already sitting next to the nightstand.
"Don't think I can wait very long tonight," Dave murmured. "You know how much I want to make love to you?" He squirted some lube into Aaron's hand and let his lover slick him up. Aaron's fingers were teasing as they spread the cool liquid over Dave's cock. Before he was finished, Dave was gasping with want.
"I need to feel you," Aaron whispered. He pulled Dave down for a needy kiss and slid his knees up, letting Dave settle between them more easily.
Dave let out a long, shuddery breath at the rush of pleasure that went through him. It was worth having quit treatment just to be able to have this again. "Aaron," he breathed, and kissed him again, rolling his hips against Aaron's. He needed to be inside, but he was trying to put it off so they could make this last as long as possible. He slicked a finger and teased it at Aaron's entrance.
Aaron sucked in a slow breath and closed his eyes. He bit his lower lip and moaned, pressing down against Dave's finger. He didn't tell Dave to just fuck him like he used to do a lot, and Dave wondered if it was because his body wasn't used to this anymore, or if it was because Aaron wanted to draw this out too.
"Good," he panted, lifting a hand to stroke over the side of Dave's head as he opened his eyes and met Dave's gaze again.
"Yes," Dave agreed, working his finger to seek out Aaron's prostate. He kissed him slowly.
When he found the spot, Aaron made a noise that was almost a whimper into the kiss and slid his hands up the back of Dave's head, holding him there as he kept making little noises of pleasure. After this long, it was almost a high just to remember, to see, that he could get Aaron like this.
God, Aaron was sexy. Dave felt a sudden pang at the unfairness that they were running out of time. To drive the thought away, he leaned in for a hungry, demanding kiss, sliding a second finger inside Aaron.
"Oh, yes," Aaron said against Dave's lips. His leg slid up over Dave's hip to give Dave more room as his hands roamed Dave's back. "Perfect. For me."
The words sent a rush of happiness through Dave, and he worked his fingers carefully. "Perfect together," he murmured. "Need you, Aaron." He kissed Aaron again. "Want you so much."
"Mmm, please," Aaron said, pulling Dave down against him.
"Yes," Dave breathed, sliding his fingers out and letting his cock nudge at Aaron's entrance. It wasn't much preparation for as long as it had been, but he didn't think either of them were interested in waiting any longer. He pressed inside slowly, just the feel of Aaron around him taking his breath away.
Aaron made a strangled noise. He hadn't been completely ready, not physically, but he panted, "Yes," anyway. "Missed this. Missed you," Aaron said, pulling Dave down for another kiss, then tightening his leg over Dave to pull him in deeper.
"Mmhmm," Dave agreed, slipping his hand between them to curl around Aaron's cock. He settled against Aaron and didn't thrust yet. If he had anything to say about it, they were going to have sex every damn day until he died. It was so good to be together like this again.
"God," Aaron gasped. He shifted his hips against Dave and sucked in a breath at the way Dave moved inside him. It pulled a groan from Dave too, and Dave ducked his head to kiss along Aaron's jaw.
He felt Aaron gasp the next time he shifted, and assumed it would be all right to begin moving slowly. "Okay?" he breathed, nibbling lightly at Aaron's skin. "Feels so good."
"Much better than just okay," Aaron murmured, and Dave felt his heart tug when Aaron's lips curled and he smiled lazily up at Dave. "Love you so much."
"I love you, Aaron," Dave said, his voice husky with desire and emotion. He rocked against Aaron, kissing him slowly.
"Yes," Aaron moaned louder. His hands slid over Dave's back and cupped Dave's ass, riding Dave's slow, but steady movements. Aaron nibbled at his jaw.
Dave exhaled hard and tilted his head to give Aaron more access. God, this was good. He kept his movements slow for as long as he could, but it had been way too long since he had a good orgasm, and the need in his body was building.
Aaron was responding to each thrust with a moan or a little whimper, his body obviously as eager as Dave's. He bit lightly against Dave's skin, his fingers squeezing. Dave's hand started to move over Aaron in time with his thrusts and Aaron made a needy noise. "David," he panted. "Take me."
The words sent another thrill of desire through him and he obeyed, beginning to thrust harder, deeper, and speeding his movements. "God, you're amazing," he breathed, feeling an uncontrollable smile spread across his face as he looked down at Aaron. "So wonderful."
Aaron smiled back, then laughed quietly before the expression fell apart and was replaced with pleasure.
Dave loved that expression on Aaron's face, and it was all the encouragement he needed to give in to the demands of his need and give up entirely on making this last any longer. He drove hard and fast into Aaron, watching his lover's face the whole time as pleasure sped through his veins and finally made him cry out as he came.
"God," Aaron groaned as Dave filled him. They'd had to use condoms for what little they'd done in the beginning of Dave's chemo, so Dave was sure it was a thrill for both of them to be "allowed" to do this. Aaron whimpered softly and tilted his chin up when Dave started to kiss his throat.
"You're so sexy," Dave whispered between kisses. His hand began moving on Aaron's cock again, thumb flicking securely over his head. "Love fucking you." He nipped lightly, then sucked. "This what you want? Want me to suck you?" He kissed his Adam's apple, felt Aaron's pulse pounding under his skin. "Tell me what you want now."
Aaron was panting, his fingers curling against Dave's skin. "Still feel okay?" he whispered.
"I feel fantastic," Dave panted, and nipped at Aaron's skin to prove it. "I'm on vacation with the man I love, and Viagra's my new best friend."
Aaron laughed, the noise a little choked with need, but he was grinning at Dave. "I want your mouth."
Dave groaned and kissed Aaron hard. "Good choice," he said, and shifted, kissing his way down Aaron's body. He didn't tease when he reached Aaron's cock. He swirled his tongue around it, then took him all the way in for a couple of good, hard sucks. But as soon as Aaron's noises started sounding like he was close, Dave pulled back. He licked enthusiastically at Aaron's cock, working his way from the head down, until he reached his balls. Gusting a breath against the heated skin, Dave glanced up at Aaron, then took one in his mouth, sucking.
Aaron groaned, sliding his hand over Dave's head. "Dave," he gasped, and Dave lifted a hand and stroked Aaron while he sucked and mouthed at Aaron. When Aaron was gasping again, he moved and slid his lips over Aaron's cock, wanting to taste him when he came, and hummed as he bobbed his head.
That seemed to push Aaron over the edge, and he arched, his fingers curling against Dave's shoulder as he came, moaning Dave's name.
Dave moaned too, swallowing Aaron's release and then licking him clean. It felt so good to be able to make Aaron feel good again. Dave nuzzled lightly at his hip, then slid back up to kiss Aaron softly.
"God," Aaron panted. "I think I like this new best friend of yours too."
Dave laughed and settled against him, resting one hand on Aaron's chest. "I'm sorry you haven't been getting any lately," he murmured. He kissed Aaron's jaw, then rested his head against Aaron's shoulder. He'd always been a romantic, but he was discovering that he wanted to snuggle more these days.
"Not your fault. Wanted you better more than I wanted sex." The words seemed as though Aaron hadn't thought about them, then Aaron stilled a little.
Dave hummed and kissed Aaron's shoulder. "I'm better, Aaron. For right now, I'm better." He stroked his fingers through the short hair on Aaron's chest. "And I want you to treat me like that. As much as you're able." He lifted his head and kissed Aaron's jaw.
Aaron sighed, but Dave felt him relax. "I'm trying."
"I know." Dave settled against him again. He had dozens of things he wanted to say, things like I wish I could make this easier on you, and I don't want to put you through this, but he'd said them all a hundred times already, and he knew saying them again wouldn't help. Especially not after fantastic sex. He turned his head enough to kiss Aaron's skin and tightened his hold on his lover.
"I love you so much," Aaron murmured.
Dave smiled. "I know. It makes me the luckiest man in the world." He kissed Aaron's shoulder again. "I love you with all of me."
Aaron smiled too and pulled Dave closer. "M'not sure I'll ever get my fill of hearing that."
"Then I'll tell you every day," Dave whispered. For the rest of my life.
Author:
innerslytherin and severity_softlyArtist:
tliPairing: Hotch/Rossi
Rating: NC-17
Word count: 147,800
Summary: Futurefic--Shortly before Dave turns sixty, he is diagnosed with a grade III brain tumor. He and Aaron have to come to terms with what this means for their relationship. Eventually the team has to help Aaron say goodbye.
Notes: Heavy angst. Lots of medical detail. Character death. This fic would not exist without the extensive help, support, encouragement, and hand-holding from
resolucidity, who served as our medical consultant throughout.Master post
Chapter Fourteen
It didn't matter how much they didn't want to do it; they had to start telling everyone else about their decision. Dave was sure the team knew it wasn't a good sign when he and Aaron invited them over for dinner the following week.
As expected, Spencer took it the hardest. He didn't need to drink himself into a stupor this time. He got sick without the aid of alcohol.
Everyone cried. Even Derek shed a few tears, though Dave could tell he was trying to "take it like a man". Emily was the worst, and she spent most of the night soaking Dave's shoulder with tears as he stroked her arm. She and Spencer stayed at the house for hours after the rest of the team trickled out, and when Aaron offered to let them share the guest bedroom, they all but jumped on the offer.
Dave felt somehow as if he were letting them down, but as much as he hated the whole damn situation, he knew he was doing the right thing. He was already feeling better; the fatigue had receded and though he was still experiencing severe headaches, he hoped that following his first appointment with the hospice team, the pain would be more manageable.
He waited until he'd gotten his morphine pump before calling his parents. He didn't want this to hit them too hard, so he wanted to be in the best condition possible. Mama Rosa had always been able to just tell when something was wrong from the sound of his voice; all her life she'd done it. From the moment he opened the conversation with, "Hi, Mama," she asked what was wrong, and he'd had to admit right away why he was calling. She and his father took it better than he had expected, though the next night his brother Tommy called tearfully.
He hadn't told Georgie or Felicia yet. Since they both lived in New Jersey with their spouses, he talked Aaron into going up there the weekend before they flew to Ireland. He'd already extracted a promise from his parents to keep the family from telling them ahead of time.
It was for that reason that, even though they were looking forward to their trip, Aaron and Dave were both a little on edge as they got ready to head to New Jersey. "Do we have your medicine?" Aaron asked. It had to be at least the third time he asked.
"Aaron," Dave said, pushing down his annoyance. "I am wearing the morphine. That's the most important one. But yes, I also have the anti-seizure meds in my carry-on with all the required documentation, and I have the statement from hospice that I'm allowed to carry narcotics around with me." He kissed Aaron's jaw to temper his tone. "Do you have your passport and your guidebooks?" he added, smiling faintly.
Aaron gave him a sheepish look. "Yes," he said, then tilted his head to kiss Dave. "Sorry. I'm just..." He shrugged, then couldn't seem to stop himself. "You do have enough to last you our entire trip, right?"
"I have enough," Dave said. He slid his fingers through Aaron's hair. "Question is, do you have enough of your drugstore purchases to last our entire trip?" He waggled his eyebrows at Aaron.
Aaron snorted and kissed Dave again. "I'm being serious."
Dave grinned. "I know. So am I." He wrapped an arm around Aaron and kissed him more slowly. "We need to start driving or we'll get to Georgie and Mary's too late for dinner."
Aaron nodded. "Yeah," he agreed. "Felicia and Andrea are coming for dinner too?" he asked, and Dave nodded. They'd wanted to get the news out of the way all together, rather than having to do it twice. Aaron gave Dave a sad smile and kissed him. "You ready for this?"
"As ready as it's possible to be," Dave said with a sigh. "I made it through telling the team." He leaned against Aaron for a moment. "We'll get through it. And then we can run away from our problems for a while on the Emerald Isle." He paused, then snorted. "Maybe I shoulda taken up poetry."
Aaron laughed. "I think I'd rather be in love with you than Yeats." He kissed Dave.
"All right, you Philistine," Dave grumbled. "Come on, daylight's burning. Did you give Spencer a key so he can feed Fuzzy?"
"Yeah," Aaron said, picking up their bags. "You gave him and Emily the numbers for Haley and your parents, and the flight and hotel information?"
Dave nodded. That might have been the best decision where those two were concerned. It had seemed to focus and almost calm them both a little to have a "job" to do for Aaron and Dave, a responsibility to them. Almost as if giving them all the emergency information gave them a way to keep Dave and Aaron "safe".
They were planning to give Georgie and Felicia the same information, and hopefully it would work as well with them. Of course, there was always the possibility that they might just scream at him for having some nerve to ask that after they were the last to know.
Dave sighed and picked up the cat, giving him a last scratch behind the ears and cuddling him gently. "Okay," he murmured, and set Fuzzy back down. "Let's go."
One thing he really missed was driving. He'd insisted that they take his car instead of Aaron's, because a road trip, even the short trip up to Jersey, demanded something sportier than Aaron's practical and safe vehicle.
Dave dozed a little in the car, so he was feeling pretty good when they pulled up at Georgie's house. Aaron grabbed their bags while Dave went up to knock. Georgie beat him to the door though, and came out to give Dave a hug. "God damn it, you look good, Davey," he said, squeezing Dave tightly.
"Hey," Dave said in greeting. He smiled and squeezed Georgie back, ignoring the twinge of discomfort from having the port gripper pushed into his skin. "It's good to see you." He pulled back and held Georgie's shoulders, studying his face. "You been managing yourself all right without me?"
"Never, you oughta know that. Come on inside! Mary's just dying to see you, and Gena said she'd try to get down from Columbia before you guys head out." Georgie tugged Dave inside. "Aaron! How's it going? Leave that, I'll get it in a while. Come in, get a drink in ya!"
"Really, it's fine," Aaron said, and carried the bag to the door anyway. Dave rolled his eyes at Georgie in exasperated fondness, and then Georgie grabbed the bags from Aaron as soon as he got to the door.
He put them down just inside the door and pointed a finger. "You touch them again, you get a black eye," he threatened, then grinned and gave Aaron a hug.
Aaron hugged him back, then laughed after a moment. "Well, when you put it that way..."
"He means it too," Dave said, grinning faintly. "I ever tell you about the time he blacked my eye because he thought I was looking sideways at Mary?"
"Oh, David Anthony Rossi, that's a tissue of lies," Mary said, coming up behind him and leaning in to kiss his cheek. "He blacked your eye because he thought I was looking back."
Laughing, Dave turned and hugged her properly. "More beautiful than ever," he said.
Mary cupped his cheek and smiled at him affectionately, then looked at Aaron. "Anyone ever tell you you ought to keep an eye on him with the ladies?"
"Just every woman who's ever met us," Aaron said, and hugged her when she went to him next. "Are Felicia and Andrea here yet, or did we beat them?"
"We're here, getting drunk and waiting on you old guys!" Felicia called from the living room. "We've got a bottle of Bartolo here with Davey's name on it."
Dave felt a surge of emotion go through him, and he couldn't decide if it was joy, sorrow, or apprehension. Probably a mixture of all three. He suddenly wondered if he should start out the visit with his announcement, or if he should wait. But he couldn't let everyone go on thinking he was getting better, could he? He glanced at Aaron.
Aaron's smile faded a little when he caught Dave's eye, then he reached out and gave Dave's hand a squeeze. Dave wasn't sure if it was reassuring or not. He cleared his throat. "Hey, why don't you be quiet already and let us get settled?" he called, and gestured at the bags.
Georgie snorted and grabbed them, bringing them down the hall to the guest bedroom, calling after him that they'd be right back.
As soon as he left Aaron and Dave in the guest bedroom, Aaron looked at Dave, his gaze apprehensive. "You okay?"
Dave sighed. "Just nervous about telling them," he admitted. He went to Aaron and leaned against him, kissing his jaw. "You're here. I can do this."
Aaron held him tightly, though he had learned to be careful of the port. "It's not going to be fun, but they'll have to understand." He stroked a hand over Dave's shoulder. "Tell me what you need right now."
"This is good," Dave murmured. "And a kiss." When Aaron complied with that, Dave grinned. "And maybe a quick blow job in the guest bathroom?"
Aaron arched a brow. "If you think we have time," he teased.
"You'd better not be sucking face back there," Georgie shouted. Dave sighed and then uttered a loud complaint that he was sure Georgie could hear down the hall. He grinned and kissed Aaron briefly, then pulled away.
"I'll be okay," he murmured, and twined his fingers with Aaron's.
"Love you," Aaron whispered, then let Dave lead them back down the hall to the living room.
Felicia was curled up on the couch, catlike, leaning against Andrea. When Dave and Aaron got into the room, though, she jumped up and threw her arms around Dave. "God! I've missed you so much, Davey," she whispered. "You've worried us."
He wrapped his free arm around her waist and kissed her cheek. "You obviously need something else to worry about," he teased. "Hi, Andi. Knocked up yet?"
"Forget it," she retorted. "We're adopting."
"Damn, and here I was thinking you might want some of these fabulous genes I got to offer." He grinned at her. He would have greeted her properly, but Felicia was still hanging onto him. "Okay, Fel, you can let me go."
"It's just so good to see you," she whispered. "And you look so strong. You look great. Even without your hair."
He felt like he'd swallowed a rock that was slowly growing into a boulder. God, he was going to have to tell them now. He couldn't let them keep thinking...
"Let the man breathe, Fel," Georgie said. "Here, Davey, have a glass of wine. Aaron? The Bartolo for you, or something else? We got about five different wines. Only one of 'em's white, though."
Aaron shook his head. "I'm happy with whatever you're all having," he said. He glanced at Felicia. "You know, the baldness is growing on me," he said, smiling then cleared his throat. "You know, whenever you let him go, I'm standing right here."
She made a funny squeak and then laughed and let go of Dave to hug Aaron. "It isn't that I'm not happy to see you, Aaron," she said, beaming at him. "It's just...wow. He looks so good. You look so good," she said, turning back to Dave.
"Shh, you're gonna make me blush," he said. He took the glass of wine Georgie was holding out and went to sit in one of the chairs. "I'm feeling a lot better these days too," he said. He tapped his chest. "It's the morphine pump. I shouldn't drink much, by the way, but hell, one glass won't kill me." He felt his smile twist a little, but he had to joke about it. Otherwise he'd just be angry and bitter, and bitterness was annoying as hell.
Aaron's lips pressed together, and he went to sit next to Dave without bothering to get a glass. He wrapped his fingers around Dave's just as Felicia managed, "Morphine?" She huffed something that sounded half-disbelieving and half-confused. "What morphine? What are you talking about?"
Dave shrugged. "Well, the good thing about cancer is, no one cares if you're a drug addict." He tried another smile, but that one didn't work. Georgie's good humor had faded and Dave suddenly wondered if he was doing this wrong. He glanced at Aaron, then took a deep breath. "Thing is," he said quietly, "the chemo wasn't working. The cancer's spreading pretty fast. So we talked it over, and I stopped treatment a couple of weeks ago. I've gained back a hell of a lot of quality of life, and the morphine's part of that."
He stopped talking and took a sip of the wine. God, he did like a good Bartolo.
Felicia opened her mouth and made a noise that sounded like his name. Georgie and Mary were just staring at him with stricken expressions. Andrea, he noticed, looked sad, but she didn't look very surprised.
Aaron squeezed his hand. "If we do it this way, Dave gets to spend the rest of whatever time he has in relatively good health, instead of sick and weak."
He opened his mouth again, but Felicia narrowed her eyes at him. "You're okay with this?" she said, her tone accusatory.
Aaron looked like he didn't want to answer at first, and Dave got another sick jolt that maybe Aaron was regretting this, but then Aaron shook his head. "No, I'm not," he said. Dave almost got angry until he added, "But it's better than the alternative, no matter how I wish that wasn't the case."
Georgie leaned forward and buried his face in his hands. Mary touched his shoulder. "How long?" she whispered.
Dave shrugged. "Don't know," he said. "Doctor Morgan said it could be three months, could be ten. Or hell, my...my...I could be in a crash tomorrow. Who knows? I got however much time God's gonna give me."
"Don't you dare be flippant about this!" Felicia snarled. Dave knew it was just the way she reacted to things--she got angry at the stuff that scared her. But it poked at his own temper.
"If I can't laugh at death, what the hell can I laugh at?" he retorted. But he couldn't stay angry at her, not with those green eyes welling up with tears. "Oh, God, Fel, you didn't see what it was like those last couple of months. I was so fucking miserable all the time, I hurt all the time, I was scared, I was exhausted..." He shook his head. "The worst of it was I was feeling sorry for myself all the time." He didn't say that it hadn't been until he'd thought about taking his Glock out of the safe and putting it in his mouth that he'd actually started researching palliative care with what energy he had. He didn't think any of them needed to know that.
Aaron rubbed his thumb over Dave's, and Felicia wiped at her cheeks. "So what? You're giving up? You're just gonna sit around and wait to die. God, David, you're such an asshole."
"Thanks," he said, his voice tight. This was actually better than tears, he supposed. "I'm not going to sit around and wait to die. I'm going to Ireland. I'm going to see some beautiful sights and have lots of sex--which I haven't got to do in a long time, I'd like to point out. I'm going to do my damnedest to make whatever time I have left the best time Aaron and I have ever had together. And most of all I'm not going to lie around in a bed waiting to die."
Aaron lifted a hand and pressed it over his eyes, then let out a breath and shook his head, just barely. On the other side of him, Andrea snickered. "How did you wind up with a shy lover?" she asked.
"This isn't funny!" Felicia shouted at her, and Georgie finally lifted his head and held out his hand in a gesture meant to quiet her.
"How can you let him do this?" Felicia demanded. Dave wasn't sure if she was talking to Aaron or not, since she was glaring at Georgie. Then she turned to look at Aaron, tears spilling down her flushed cheeks. "How can you give up on him? Why haven't you talked sense into him? Can't you tell the doctor's he's lost his mind from the fucking cancer?"
Aaron opened his mouth to answer, but then just wound up staring at her, seemingly unable to speak. He drew a shaky breath, and then his eyes went glassy. Dave was just about to speak for him, when Aaron finally managed to say, "I'm sorry." It sounded less like a personal apology, though, and more like an 'I'm sorry that this is how it has to be'.
"You're sorry?" she asked. "You're letting Davey die, and you're sorry?! I can't believe it. I know he's pigheaded and stupid, but I always thought you could see through it. Guess I was wrong."
Aaron was just taking it, not reacting even if Dave could tell her words were getting to him, and when she took a breath, he repeated, "I'm sorry."
"You fucking should be sorry!" she shouted.
"Hey!" Dave snapped. "Don't talk to Aaron like that. You don't know what he's been through. This has been hell for him too, you know? He's the one who's been watching me get sicker, and he's the one who's going to have to live without me." He closed his hand more tightly around Aaron's. "And he's part of your family, and if you don't regret those words now, you will soon. Don't be a bitch, Fel. He's my lover, not my parent. We make decisions together, but he doesn't control me, and he's never tried."
"Davey," Mary said quietly. "Felicia. Please."
Felicia pressed her lips together and stared at Dave, her gaze hurt and angry. Then she let out a breath, shaking her head and looking away. "I need a fucking cigarette," she snarled and stood.
Dave huffed an angry laugh and threw back, "Those things'll kill you."
"Fuck you," she snapped, and then she left out the back door. Andrea quickly apologized and followed her.
Dave suddenly realized how tense he was. He sighed heavily and tried to make himself relax. Then he glanced over at Georgie, who was Felicia's opposite in reactions. He'd paled, drawing in on himself. He was staring at Dave, but his eyes didn't really seem to be focused on him.
"God, Georgie, I'm sorry," Dave said, hit by another pang of regret. "I really am. But...I can't begin to tell you how bad it was. And nothing was going to cure it. I just couldn't--"
"It's okay," Georgie interrupted, his voice hollow. "Davey, it's okay." And that was when he started crying, his shoulders heaving with heavy, wracking sobs. It sent another horrible pang of guilt and grief through Dave, and he squeezed Aaron's hand once more, then pulled away and went to hold on to Georgie.
He ran his hand over Georgie's back, glancing briefly at Mary, who was watching them, her expression pained.
"I hate this," Aaron said quietly. "I hate it as much as any of you. I wish... I wish we were here under better circumstances."
"Aaron, don't blame yourself," Mary replied, her voice warm. "You've done so much for Dave...Felicia doesn't understand how hard it is on you both." Dave was grateful when she stood and hugged Aaron. The last thing Aaron needed was to have people blaming him for Dave's decision.
"I'm sure she does," Aaron said. "She's just upset. I was pretty angry when Dave mentioned it the first time." He held her back for a moment, then she moved to sit on the couch next to him.
"Maybe it seems like I'm giving up," Dave said. "But I don't feel that way. I'm just taking control of one of the few things left under my control." Georgie let out a muffled sob and wrapped his arms around Dave again. "I'm sorry," Dave whispered.
"No, no," Georgie managed. "Don't apologize, Davey. Don't..."
"I think I'll have that glass of wine now," Aaron said after a moment, and Mary laughed sadly.
"I'll get it," she said. Aaron protested, but Mary made him sit while she got a glass, disappearing into the kitchen to get some of the white wine, regardless of Aaron saying he didn't care what it was.
The rest of the evening didn't go well. Felicia and Andrea eventually came back inside, but dinner conversation was stilted and Felicia's responses were all clipped. It was obvious she was still angry, but Dave didn't know what to do to make her get over it. He wouldn't stand for her blaming Aaron for supporting him, but he couldn't exactly order her to be cordial.
When they left, Andrea kissed Dave's cheek and murmured that Felicia would come around. Dave knew she would; he just hoped she would come around before he died. Georgie ended up getting pretty drunk, but his mood improved from grief-stricken to melancholy to just reminiscent as the night went on. Eventually Mary excused them and Dave and Aaron were left to get ready for bed.
Dave had trouble falling asleep, but eventually Aaron's embrace soothed him. The next day went better; though Gena was obviously saddened by Dave's announcement, she took it with all the grace that Felicia had been lacking. Dave didn't tell her that he had provided an inheritance for his god-daughter in his will; she'd find out soon enough.
Sunday they were to fly out, and there was a hurried family lunch before they caught a cab to the airport. On the way Aaron's phone rang, and he held a terse conversation with someone. When he hung up, he wouldn't say who it was. Dave eyed him suspiciously, but didn't make an issue of it.
When they got to the airport, he realized who had been calling, because Felicia was standing by the ticket counter, scanning the crowd anxiously. When she saw them, she ran over and threw her arms around Dave.
"I love you," she said. "I love you so much. I'm angry, but I can't let you leave and you not know that." When she pulled back, her cheeks were wet, and she wiped at them. "I mean, I know you know that, but... I'm sorry. Not for how I feel, but... you know." She cupped his face in her hands, and more tears rolled down her cheeks silently.
"I know," he said gently. He kissed her forehead, then pulled her close, stroking her hair. "I know, cara. I do understand." He glanced at Aaron. She didn't need to apologize to Dave. It was Aaron she should apologize to.
She wrapped her arms around him again and buried her face against his neck. "I can't even imagine how much I'll miss you. I can't stand it."
"I know," he whispered, and kissed her hair. "I'm so sorry, Fel. I wish I could change things." He sighed and looked at Aaron again. It ought to feel good to have so much evidence that people loved him, but he mostly just felt guilty for dying on them.
She pulled back and looked at Dave for a moment longer, then glanced at Aaron, her expression changing. Dave couldn't quite read it. "Aaron," she said, and he held up a hand.
"It's fine," he said. Dave suddenly had the horrible thought that he could die and she and Aaron might not ever be close again.
She pressed her lips together and shook her head. "It isn't fine," she said. "I was..."
"I understand," he said quietly.
"You know I love you too, right?" she said, and Dave took a long breath of relief. "I just..." She shook her head. She couldn't seem to actually spit out an apology to Aaron, which Dave suspected meant she still blamed him, even if she knew she shouldn't.
Aaron's lips thinned, but he nodded. "I know."
"Be careful," she said, looking from Aaron to Dave. "And...and have fun. You're coming back, right?"
"That's the plan," Aaron said.
"Yeah," Dave said. "We'll be back." He hugged Felicia again. "I love you, Fel."
When he pulled back, she extended a hand to Aaron. "I'm sorry," she said, and Dave could tell it was forced, but at least she'd said it.
Aaron took her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze, but only nodded in response.
"Hey, Fel, I do love you, but if we miss our flight I'm gonna kick your ass. We've still got...that place. To get through the...the machines." Dave kissed the side of her head, then pulled away. "We'll see you in a few weeks, okay?"
"Okay," she said, giving him a faint smile. "Have a good trip," she told them, then kissed Dave's cheek before letting them go.
They didn't get a chance to really talk until they'd checked their bags and cleared security, then settled in at the gate to wait for their flight to be called. Once they were sitting, Dave curled his fingers unobtrusively with Aaron's and said, "She'll get over it." He didn't add, Will you? despite wanting to.
"I know," Aaron said. He looked over at Dave, watching him for a moment, then giving him a small smile. It looked almost unsure.
"You're part of the Rossi family for the rest of your life, you know that, right?" Dave squeezed Aaron's hand. He probably did know, considering the way Rita still sometimes showed up for Thanksgiving dessert.
Aaron let of a breath and looked away. "I don't know how I'm going to do that," he said, but then shook his head. "I thought we were going away so we didn't have to worry."
"You don't have to worry," Dave said, smiling. "They'll make sure to keep you." He sighed. "I love you, Aaron. Thank you for going with me."
"Well, I wasn't going to let you go alone," Aaron said, looking back at Dave with another smile, his fingers stroking Dave's. "You're sure you have enough medicine?"
"I have enough, Mom," Dave teased.
"I just want to make sure," Aaron said. He looked at Dave, his gaze tracing Dave's features. "I thought we decided you were mom."
Dave huffed a sigh. "Dad, then," he said, and grinned at him.
They settled into quiet conversation until their flight arrived. The flight was seven and a half hours, and Dave wasn't really looking forward to it, especially since he didn't want to sleep during the flight. It would be late there by the time they got in, and it would be easier to just crash the first night than it would be to try to adjust to the time difference over time.
Of course, Dave as still building his strength back up, and realized a few hours into the flight that it had been wishful thinking to stay awake the whole time. He dozed a few times, and half-way through the flight he woke to find Aaron watching some horrible in-flight movie.
Aaron smiled affectionately at him, and told Dave he'd gotten a second set of headphones in case Dave wanted them. Dave was warmed by the gesture, but decided that sleep was more interesting than anything Adam Sandler could possibly be doing on screen.
He shifted to rest his head against Aaron's shoulder and pretended to watch the movie as long as he could keep his eyes open, just to make Aaron feel better. Of course, it didn't take long for Aaron to call him on that, so Dave took the headphones off and fell asleep again. He didn't wake until Aaron shook him to say they were about to land.
They picked up their rental car and made it to the hotel, which fortunately had room service, because Dave was feeling groggy and unfit to be out in public. Not to mention he was also hoping to get Aaron to feed him, at which point he planned to seduce him.
Aaron looked tired, and Dave wondered if he'd slept on the plane at all. He just lugged the bags into the room and started unpacking, though. "What do they have?" he asked from the closet as Dave looked over the room service menu.
"Sandwiches, soups, fish and chips..." Dave glanced at the dessert menu, wondering if he could get strawberries and champagne. He smirked faintly to himself, then filled one of the plastic cups with water as the thought reminded him that his little blue pills needed half an hour to work. If he didn't take those, he wasn't going to succeed in seducing Aaron at all.
"Mmm," Aaron hummed. "Just order me... something. Something easy to eat so I don't have to think about it." He came back out to the bed and kissed Dave briefly, then dragged another bag to the closet. "We're here for three weeks. I think we can get away with sleeping very late tomorrow."
"I agree." Dave ordered for them both, then sprawled on the bed, watching Aaron. "Don't do all that tonight. You should come lie down with me until our food gets here."
"It's not going to put itself up," Aaron said, "And the sooner I do it, the less we have to worry about." He hung a few more things, then glanced back at Dave, who was frowning at him. Aaron sighed. "Fine," he said, then left the bag on the floor and went to crawl into bed next to Dave.
"Listen, I'm the anal-retentive neat freak in the family," Dave said, wrapping his arms around Aaron. "And if I can let it wait until tomorrow, surely you can too." He kissed Aaron soundly instead of letting him argue.
Aaron made an amused sound against his mouth and slid his arm around Dave's waist. He settled against Dave and melted. "I might fall asleep before the food gets here if I lie here."
Dave grinned. "Oh, I'll keep you awake," he promised, shifting his hips against Aaron's. He slid a hand down to cup Aaron's ass.
Aaron sucked in a breath and opened his eyes again, and Dave could feel how quickly Aaron was responding already. It was sort of a shame that they'd gone without so long, but it was extremely satisfying to be able to feel how much Aaron missed this.
"I sincerely hope you are the one who's planning to answer the door with an erection."
"Mmm, I don't know, I'm feeling a little tired," Dave said, grinning at him. "I think I should just lie here while you answer the door." He kissed Aaron softly. That was, predictably, when someone tapped at the door.
Dave raised his eyebrows, but when it became clear that Aaron had no intention of moving, Dave sighed heavily and got up, still grinning. He paid the man at the door and tipped him generously, then carried the tray over to the bed. "Not quite breakfast in bed, but it might as well be, considering what time it is at home," he said.
"God, I'm not sure whether to be hungry, horny, or sleepy anymore," Aaron murmured, looking at Dave and propping himself up in bed. His eyes did look tired, but affectionate, and he looked more than willing to stay awake a little longer with the right sort of motivation.
"All of them, in that order," Dave said. He leaned over the tray and kissed Aaron slowly, then held out a sandwich with a smile.
Aaron chuckled, but took the food and started eating. Dave made a point of doing suggestive things with his food, which only made Aaron snort and roll his eyes, thought at one point his expression went a little sadly thoughtful.
At that, Dave reached out and brushed his knuckles against Aaron's cheek. "What's that look for?" he asked quietly.
Aaron smiled half-heartedly a shook his head. "What look?"
"You look a little sad," Dave murmured. He leaned in and kissed Aaron softly. "What is it?"
Aaron sighed and shook his head. "I don't want to ruin this. We were having fun."
"We are having fun," Dave said quietly. He kissed Aaron again. "But you can say it if you need to."
Aaron stroked his fingers over Dave's cheek, then looked down. "I was just thinking I was going to miss your stupid jokes."
"Stupid?" Dave gave a mock gasp. "You mean...I'm not funny?" He kissed Aaron again. "I bet you'll realize that you already know all my stupid jokes," he murmured, smiling faintly.
"Doesn't matter. Memories aren't the same," Aaron said. He expelled a breath, then shook his head and smiled. "I'm sorry. Go back to fellating your pickle; I'm fine."
Dave eyed him for a moment, then tilted his head. "I'm actually not too interested in my pickle any more. I'm more interested in your pickle." He leered.
Aaron coughed, then started laughing. After a moment, he kissed Dave, still chuckling against his lips. He pulled back, and grinned at Dave. "Laughter aside, that joke was a prime example of your stupid jokes."
"See? I am funny," Dave said, and grinned back at him.
Aaron pressed his lips together, and gave Dave a disbelieving look, then just went back to his sandwich.
Dave really was more interested in Aaron's body than finishing his meal, so he set his plate aside and shifted until he could stroke a hand up and down Aaron's thigh. He spent the next several minutes teasing Aaron while he finished his sandwich.
"Mmm," Aaron hummed, wiping his mouth and hands and putting the napkin aside. He kissed Dave softly. "You're not tired?" he whispered.
"I'm horny," Dave said. "I'll be tired later." He slid his hand up further along Aaron's thigh.
Aaron huffed a laugh. "I missed you. Missed this," he said, his voice soft. "But I don't want to wear you out."
"We're sleeping in tomorrow," Dave said, leaning in for a slow kiss. "So it's okay to wear me out tonight."
Aaron hummed and slid his arm over Dave's waist. "If you say so," he whispered, and Dave smiled against his lips.
"I say so." He kissed Aaron again, moving his hand so his fingers brushed against Aaron's cock through his pants. "Sexy."
Aaron was already hard, and Dave repressed a smirk as Aaron sucked in a breath. "Love you," he whispered. "Want you. That okay?"
"God, yes," Dave agreed instantly. He pressed his fingers more deliberately against Aaron's erection, though he was careful not to give too much pressure yet.
"Need to really feel you," Aaron said. He leaned in and kissed along Dave's jaw, pressing himself against Dave's hand a little more. Dave rubbed for a moment, then let his hand back. Aaron let out a disappointed noise.
"I want that," Dave breathed. "Want to be in you." He kissed Aaron hungrily. "I want to show you how much I've wanted you."
"Yes," Aaron moaned. His fingers started pulling open the buttons of Dave's shirt, just enough that he could pull it over Dave's head. The his lips were working down Dave's throat.
Dave arched his head back, giving Aaron more room. At the same time he started working Aaron's pants open. He wasn't interested in teasing just now. He was interested in fucking.
Aaron hummed happily, and shifted to make it easier on Dave. His hand slid over Dave's chest and he rolled Dave's nipple lightly between his fingers.
Dave groaned and tugged at Aaron's pants, trying to get him to lift his hips to get out of them entirely. "God, Aaron," he breathed. He suddenly felt like he might catch fire if he didn't get Aaron's naked skin against his own soon.
Aaron shifted, then kicked out of his pants, his hands going to Dave's pants as he did. He kissed Dave with need as he unzipped him and slid a hand under Dave's boxers and over his hip. "You haven't been holding out on me, have you?" he whispered.
"Nnh," Dave said, nipping at Aaron's jaw. "No," he managed when he tried again. "Just need you now." He was breathing hard, he realized. God, he wanted Aaron so much. He'd been feeling much better lately, but he suddenly hoped his strength wouldn't give out now.
"Good," Aaron said. He pulled his own shirt off and tossed it aside, then kissed down Dave's chest, flicking his tongue at a nipple. "You're so sexy."
"M'practically scrawny these days," Dave muttered, his breath catching in his throat. "God, Aaron. Feels good." He buried a hand in Aaron's hair. "Love your chest."
Aaron hummed a happy noise and bit Dave's nipple lightly. "I love your body. Before, after, I don't care," he murmured.
Aaron's words were just as arousing as his touch. "Love you," Dave breathed, stroking Aaron's hair. He shifted closer. "Want to be inside you. Need you, Aaron."
"Yes," Aaron whispered. He pushed at Dave's pants and they both shifted to get Dave as undressed as Aaron, then Aaron pulled Dave until he rolled on top. Aaron stroked a hand over Dave's cheek. "So sexy."
Dave groaned and kissed Aaron hungrily. "I missed having sex with you," he murmured, nibbling at Aaron's lower lip. "Glad my body's obeying me now." He rolled his hips against Aaron's, letting their erections press together. It sent a flush of pleasure through him, and he silently thanked Doctor Morgan for the Viagra that was letting him get his sex life back for a little while.
Aaron must have been thinking along those lines too, because he reached down and curled his fingers around Dave's cock. "God," he whispered, tilting his head to kiss Dave slowly as he stroked a few times. "Does it feel the same?"
Dave gasped and nodded. "Yeah, mmm," he managed. "Unh, God, Aaron, feels so good." It was such a welcome gift to be able to really enjoy physical intimacy again. "Love you so much."
"I love you too," Aaron said. He slid his hands to Dave's ass and pulled him down, grinding up against Dave with a groan. When he let go, he shifted and leaned over the bed. Dave was suddenly glad Aaron had started unpacking, because the bag with the lube was already sitting next to the nightstand.
"Don't think I can wait very long tonight," Dave murmured. "You know how much I want to make love to you?" He squirted some lube into Aaron's hand and let his lover slick him up. Aaron's fingers were teasing as they spread the cool liquid over Dave's cock. Before he was finished, Dave was gasping with want.
"I need to feel you," Aaron whispered. He pulled Dave down for a needy kiss and slid his knees up, letting Dave settle between them more easily.
Dave let out a long, shuddery breath at the rush of pleasure that went through him. It was worth having quit treatment just to be able to have this again. "Aaron," he breathed, and kissed him again, rolling his hips against Aaron's. He needed to be inside, but he was trying to put it off so they could make this last as long as possible. He slicked a finger and teased it at Aaron's entrance.
Aaron sucked in a slow breath and closed his eyes. He bit his lower lip and moaned, pressing down against Dave's finger. He didn't tell Dave to just fuck him like he used to do a lot, and Dave wondered if it was because his body wasn't used to this anymore, or if it was because Aaron wanted to draw this out too.
"Good," he panted, lifting a hand to stroke over the side of Dave's head as he opened his eyes and met Dave's gaze again.
"Yes," Dave agreed, working his finger to seek out Aaron's prostate. He kissed him slowly.
When he found the spot, Aaron made a noise that was almost a whimper into the kiss and slid his hands up the back of Dave's head, holding him there as he kept making little noises of pleasure. After this long, it was almost a high just to remember, to see, that he could get Aaron like this.
God, Aaron was sexy. Dave felt a sudden pang at the unfairness that they were running out of time. To drive the thought away, he leaned in for a hungry, demanding kiss, sliding a second finger inside Aaron.
"Oh, yes," Aaron said against Dave's lips. His leg slid up over Dave's hip to give Dave more room as his hands roamed Dave's back. "Perfect. For me."
The words sent a rush of happiness through Dave, and he worked his fingers carefully. "Perfect together," he murmured. "Need you, Aaron." He kissed Aaron again. "Want you so much."
"Mmm, please," Aaron said, pulling Dave down against him.
"Yes," Dave breathed, sliding his fingers out and letting his cock nudge at Aaron's entrance. It wasn't much preparation for as long as it had been, but he didn't think either of them were interested in waiting any longer. He pressed inside slowly, just the feel of Aaron around him taking his breath away.
Aaron made a strangled noise. He hadn't been completely ready, not physically, but he panted, "Yes," anyway. "Missed this. Missed you," Aaron said, pulling Dave down for another kiss, then tightening his leg over Dave to pull him in deeper.
"Mmhmm," Dave agreed, slipping his hand between them to curl around Aaron's cock. He settled against Aaron and didn't thrust yet. If he had anything to say about it, they were going to have sex every damn day until he died. It was so good to be together like this again.
"God," Aaron gasped. He shifted his hips against Dave and sucked in a breath at the way Dave moved inside him. It pulled a groan from Dave too, and Dave ducked his head to kiss along Aaron's jaw.
He felt Aaron gasp the next time he shifted, and assumed it would be all right to begin moving slowly. "Okay?" he breathed, nibbling lightly at Aaron's skin. "Feels so good."
"Much better than just okay," Aaron murmured, and Dave felt his heart tug when Aaron's lips curled and he smiled lazily up at Dave. "Love you so much."
"I love you, Aaron," Dave said, his voice husky with desire and emotion. He rocked against Aaron, kissing him slowly.
"Yes," Aaron moaned louder. His hands slid over Dave's back and cupped Dave's ass, riding Dave's slow, but steady movements. Aaron nibbled at his jaw.
Dave exhaled hard and tilted his head to give Aaron more access. God, this was good. He kept his movements slow for as long as he could, but it had been way too long since he had a good orgasm, and the need in his body was building.
Aaron was responding to each thrust with a moan or a little whimper, his body obviously as eager as Dave's. He bit lightly against Dave's skin, his fingers squeezing. Dave's hand started to move over Aaron in time with his thrusts and Aaron made a needy noise. "David," he panted. "Take me."
The words sent another thrill of desire through him and he obeyed, beginning to thrust harder, deeper, and speeding his movements. "God, you're amazing," he breathed, feeling an uncontrollable smile spread across his face as he looked down at Aaron. "So wonderful."
Aaron smiled back, then laughed quietly before the expression fell apart and was replaced with pleasure.
Dave loved that expression on Aaron's face, and it was all the encouragement he needed to give in to the demands of his need and give up entirely on making this last any longer. He drove hard and fast into Aaron, watching his lover's face the whole time as pleasure sped through his veins and finally made him cry out as he came.
"God," Aaron groaned as Dave filled him. They'd had to use condoms for what little they'd done in the beginning of Dave's chemo, so Dave was sure it was a thrill for both of them to be "allowed" to do this. Aaron whimpered softly and tilted his chin up when Dave started to kiss his throat.
"You're so sexy," Dave whispered between kisses. His hand began moving on Aaron's cock again, thumb flicking securely over his head. "Love fucking you." He nipped lightly, then sucked. "This what you want? Want me to suck you?" He kissed his Adam's apple, felt Aaron's pulse pounding under his skin. "Tell me what you want now."
Aaron was panting, his fingers curling against Dave's skin. "Still feel okay?" he whispered.
"I feel fantastic," Dave panted, and nipped at Aaron's skin to prove it. "I'm on vacation with the man I love, and Viagra's my new best friend."
Aaron laughed, the noise a little choked with need, but he was grinning at Dave. "I want your mouth."
Dave groaned and kissed Aaron hard. "Good choice," he said, and shifted, kissing his way down Aaron's body. He didn't tease when he reached Aaron's cock. He swirled his tongue around it, then took him all the way in for a couple of good, hard sucks. But as soon as Aaron's noises started sounding like he was close, Dave pulled back. He licked enthusiastically at Aaron's cock, working his way from the head down, until he reached his balls. Gusting a breath against the heated skin, Dave glanced up at Aaron, then took one in his mouth, sucking.
Aaron groaned, sliding his hand over Dave's head. "Dave," he gasped, and Dave lifted a hand and stroked Aaron while he sucked and mouthed at Aaron. When Aaron was gasping again, he moved and slid his lips over Aaron's cock, wanting to taste him when he came, and hummed as he bobbed his head.
That seemed to push Aaron over the edge, and he arched, his fingers curling against Dave's shoulder as he came, moaning Dave's name.
Dave moaned too, swallowing Aaron's release and then licking him clean. It felt so good to be able to make Aaron feel good again. Dave nuzzled lightly at his hip, then slid back up to kiss Aaron softly.
"God," Aaron panted. "I think I like this new best friend of yours too."
Dave laughed and settled against him, resting one hand on Aaron's chest. "I'm sorry you haven't been getting any lately," he murmured. He kissed Aaron's jaw, then rested his head against Aaron's shoulder. He'd always been a romantic, but he was discovering that he wanted to snuggle more these days.
"Not your fault. Wanted you better more than I wanted sex." The words seemed as though Aaron hadn't thought about them, then Aaron stilled a little.
Dave hummed and kissed Aaron's shoulder. "I'm better, Aaron. For right now, I'm better." He stroked his fingers through the short hair on Aaron's chest. "And I want you to treat me like that. As much as you're able." He lifted his head and kissed Aaron's jaw.
Aaron sighed, but Dave felt him relax. "I'm trying."
"I know." Dave settled against him again. He had dozens of things he wanted to say, things like I wish I could make this easier on you, and I don't want to put you through this, but he'd said them all a hundred times already, and he knew saying them again wouldn't help. Especially not after fantastic sex. He turned his head enough to kiss Aaron's skin and tightened his hold on his lover.
"I love you so much," Aaron murmured.
Dave smiled. "I know. It makes me the luckiest man in the world." He kissed Aaron's shoulder again. "I love you with all of me."
Aaron smiled too and pulled Dave closer. "M'not sure I'll ever get my fill of hearing that."
"Then I'll tell you every day," Dave whispered. For the rest of my life.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2009-09-28 06:35 am (UTC)decided that sleep was more interesting than anything Adam Sandler could possibly be doing on screen.
Heh for randomness :) And for good taste!
If he had anything to say about it, they were going to have sex every damn day until he died. It was so good to be together like this again.
Heh, gotta love Dave for having his priorities straight (and also *love* for "shy lover" Hotch hiding his face in the family convo).
"Not your fault. Wanted you better more than I wanted sex." The words seemed as though Aaron hadn't thought about them, then Aaron stilled a little.
and
"Then I'll tell you every day," Dave whispered. For the rest of my life.
For some reason, it's those little spontaneous things that get to me the most, even more than the obviously sure and reassuring ones.
no subject
Date: 2009-09-29 01:08 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-10-14 08:29 am (UTC)Aaron smiled too and pulled Dave closer. "M'not sure I'll ever get my fill of hearing that."
"Then I'll tell you every day," Dave whispered. 'For the rest of my life.'
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You cracked my heart with those lines. And thinking of Spencer and Emily in the empty house taking care of Fuzzy lends a melancholy to this chapter.
no subject
Date: 2011-10-19 12:11 am (UTC)I know one of the things I really enjoyed was being able to explore all the relationships in the team, rather than simply focusing on the romantic relationship between Dave & Aaron. But of course in the end, this is a fic about undying love even in the face of death. :)