The Last Best Days, Hotch/Rossi, NC-17 (12/21)

[innerslytherin]

Title: The Last Best Days
Author: innerslytherin and severity_softly
Artist: tli
Pairing: Hotch/Rossi
Rating: NC-17
Word count: 147,800
Summary: Futurefic--Shortly before Dave turns sixty, he is diagnosed with a grade III brain tumor. He and Aaron have to come to terms with what this means for their relationship. Eventually the team has to help Aaron say goodbye.
Notes: Heavy angst. Lots of medical detail. Character death. This fic would not exist without the extensive help, support, encouragement, and hand-holding from resolucidity, who served as our medical consultant throughout.

Master post



Chapter Twelve

Aaron didn't go back to work, and Dave decided not to force the matter. He'd been discussing palliative care with Nurse Kate during his last chemo treatment, and he hadn't really been surprised by Aaron's reaction to the suggestion. But Dave had also been trying to spare Aaron the worst of things. With Sean back in New York and Aaron spending half his time angry at Dave and half his time trying to deny that things were getting worse... Well, Dave's temper was starting to fray, but he was starting to think maybe it would be for the best if Aaron saw how things really were.

Lately Dave had felt weighted down with fatigue, but he was also having trouble sleeping through the night. The pain in his head would wake him, and then he would lie awake next to his sleeping lover and pray for miracles that he had stopped expecting.

I wanted to protect you from this, he wrote in the leather-bound journal one night. He'd woken in agony and got up to take a pain pill, then hadn't returned to the bed.

I wanted to be strong for you, because no one in your life has ever been strong for you. I wanted to do for you all the things you refuse to believe that you deserve. And tonight I feel like I've failed you entirely. I'm sick. My body and mind are both betraying me before I'm ready to give up on life. And I've never been one to believe in 'fair or 'unfair'. Life just is. God directs the world as He sees fit, and no mortal mind can understand the intricacies of divine will. But tonight I'm pissed off at God, because life seems really damned unfair.

He sighed and inspected the nib of his fountain pen, telling himself that his eyes weren't stinging with unshed tears.

I'm tired, Aaron. I'm always tired and always in pain...the drugs aren't working, and all I want is to give you everything...and I'm too bankrupt to give you anything any more.

He heard the floorboards creak outside the room, then Aaron poked his head around the door. He looked sleepy and disheveled, and God he was gorgeous. Dave felt another spark of anger shoot through him that he didn't have much time left to appreciate that.

"What are you doing awake?" Aaron murmured.

Dave shrugged. "My head hurts. Woke me up." He managed a faint smile. "What are you doing awake?"

"Woke up to use the bathroom, and you were gone. When you didn't come back after a while, I wondered if you were okay." He walked into the room and settled against the desk. "Are you okay?"

Dave looked at the words he'd just written and closed the book. "I'm in pain," he admitted quietly. "But I'm selfishly glad you're awake." One of the worst emotions he'd discovered during this whole ordeal was the terrible self-pity he could fall prey to when he was the only person awake in the middle of the night and the only things he could feel were pain, longing, and fear. "Want a cup of tea?"

Aaron frowned. "It's four in the morning."

Dave shrugged. "We don't have anywhere to be tomorrow. Later today. There's no point in my lying awake in bed and hurting. I thought I might as well get up." He looked down at the cover of his journal. "It was just a thought."

Aaron reached over the desk and cupped Dave's cheek. "Did you take anything?"

"Mm, when I first woke up," Dave said, closing his eyes and enjoying Aaron's touch. "It doesn't always help. I just..." He trailed off, feeling a sickening jolt that he recognized. He opened his eyes again and thought, Oh, shit, but it was all he could do to look at Aaron. He could feel his hands moving, but he couldn't seem to control them. And then things seemed to fade.

The next thing he was aware of was Aaron's voice.

"Dave," Aaron was saying. "Dave." His hands cupped Dave's face. When Dave's eyes seemed to focus on him, Aaron breathed his name again, this time sounding relieved. He stroked his hand over Dave's cheek, holding Dave's gaze, his own concerned.


"What was I doing?" Dave asked. He cast back, trying to remember, but the last thing he really remembered was stumbling out of bed and for the bathroom, where he knew the pain pills would be on the counter. "Were we talking about something?"

"Tea," Aaron said, his frown deepening, the concern etching itself deeper into the lines of Aaron's face. "I've been in here a few minutes now."

"Tea." Dave sighed and closed his eyes, searching. "I don't remember. Do you want tea?"

"No, you wanted tea." Aaron looked almost scared now. "'Was that...?"

"What was I doing?" Dave repeated. "I don't remember. It was one of those spells, I expect. But I don't remember."

"You were pulling on your shirt. You weren't responding to me," Aaron said.

"That sounds like it." Dave rubbed his forehead. God, it ached horribly. "Could I have a cup of tea?"

Aaron let out a shaky breath and moved around to Dave's side of the table. He knelt in front of Dave's chair and cupped his face again. "Are you okay?"

"I, uh...My head hurts." Dave covered Aaron's hand with his own. "What's wrong, Aaron?"

"What do you mean what's wrong? You just... you..." Aaron stared at him for a moment, then dropped his hands and looked away. "I... do you want me to bring it to you?"

Dave closed his eyes for a moment. "Maybe we could have tea in bed," he suggested. "I'm tired. It's...I think the pain woke me. Did I take anything?" He rubbed his forehead again and looked at Aaron. "Do you remember if I took anything?"

"You told me you did," Aaron said. He stood and helped Dave out of the chair, then pulled Dave into his arms without a word, burying his face against Dave's neck.

"Mmm." Dave wrapped his arms around Aaron and held on, grateful for the strength of his lover's body. "God, I love you. What would I do without you?" he murmured, smiling faintly. "Aaron."

Aaron breathed a laugh that sounded unhappy, but he kissed Dave's neck, sliding a hand up against the back of Dave's head.

Dave leaned more heavily against him. "Mm, I'm tired. I think I should lie down." He tightened his arms. "You'll bring the tea in?"

"Yes," Aaron said. He pulled away and slid an arm around Dave, guiding him out of the study and down the hall to the bedroom.

Once Dave was settled in bed again, Aaron left the room. Dave stared up at the ceiling. The room was lit only by a dim light on the dresser. Dave tried to remember what had happened. He knew it must have been one of his spells, but the last thing he could remember was deciding the pain had kept him awake long enough, and wanting a pill. Aaron had said he'd taken something. He must have, but his head still hurt.

He was squinting against the pain when Aaron came back with two cups of tea. Squinting didn't help, but it always seemed like it ought to. Dave tried to smooth his expression when he saw Aaron. "Hi," he murmured. Aaron would hold him. That sounded like the best way to treat the pain right now.

Aaron handed him a cup of tea when he got to the bed, and slid in on his side. He put his own cup down and turned towards Dave. He snuggled down next to him, resting his head on Dave's shoulder and wrapping an arm around him. "Hey."

Dave let out a contented noise. "You are the best thing that ever happened to me," he murmured, leaning his head against Aaron's. For some reason it made his eyes prickle. He took a breath. "Thank you for happening to me."

"You're the best thing that ever happened to me," Aaron returned. His voice sounded weird, possibly too sleepy. His arm tightened around Dave.

Dave laughed quietly. "Good." He wasn't sure it was true. Jack was probably better. But he liked that Aaron thought so right now. He closed his eyes against a sudden wash of fear. He didn't want to lose this. And even though he believed it wouldn't matter to him after he died, it was the only thing that mattered right now. He didn't want to leave Aaron alone. Who would take care of Aaron when Dave was gone? "I'll always love you," he whispered.

"I know," Aaron murmured. He drew a long breath, and Dave heard it shake a little.

He coughed. "If you need to..." He ran the fingers of his free hand through Aaron's hair. "Aaron, it's okay to be upset. You know it is."

"It doesn't do any good," Aaron said.

"Sometimes it's better than keeping it inside," Dave whispered. He sighed. "I admire you, Aaron. I've always admired you. And I know you're a man of great passion, whether you show it or not." He closed his eyes, still stroking Aaron's hair. "Ah, sometimes I think I love you too much."

"You don't need to tell me all this," Aaron said. "Are you going to drink your tea or not? Because this would be more comfortable lying down."

Dave laughed. "Yes, sorry." He sipped his tea, wishing vaguely that it was scotch. He'd seen the clock when they came back in, but he couldn't imagine there was anything wrong with drinking at four-thirty in the morning if you were dying of cancer. He sighed. "I don't know what to do with my faith these days," he admitted quietly.

Aaron sighed. "I wish I knew what to tell you. You know it's not one of my strong points." Aaron's fingers brushed over Dave's side. "Have you talked to Mama?"

Dave sighed. "Not lately. Not about that." He hadn't even told his parents that he thought he was going to die. It had been something he'd been afraid to admit to anyone, for fear of having it come true. He'd finally been able to talk to Nurse Kate about it, but only because he'd been alone for his last chemo treatment and she'd sat with him for a little while. "I still want to believe in heaven, but... You and I have never had the same set of beliefs. It's never mattered to me before." Not until he'd begun to find himself afraid of heaven if it meant being apart from Aaron. He wasn't sure he understood anything anymore that he'd used to feel so sure of.

Aaron let out another shaky breath. "Dave... I just don't... put a name on what I believe in. That doesn't mean..." He let out a little pained noise, but then just breathed deeply again. "Don't do this. Please."

"I know." Dave took another gulp of tea, then set it aside and wrapped himself around Aaron. "I know. I think it's why I never cared. Because I know you..." He took a quick breath. "Oh, God, Aaron. I'm so sorry." He wasn't even sure what he was apologizing for. He clung to Aaron tightly and squeezed his eyes shut to keep from tears.

Aaron breathed an unhappy laugh. "What are you apologizing for?" he said.

"I have no idea, but it seemed appropriate." Dave kissed his hair and pulled him closer.

Aaron did laugh that time, though it sounded strangled. Then he went quiet and stroked his hand over Dave, his head and shoulder, then down his side. He sighed. "Thinking about spending the rest of my life without you is bad enough without thinking about what's going to happen after I die alone," he whispered.

"I don't want that for you," Dave said in a choked voice. "I don't want to leave you alone. I don't want you to never be happy again." He tangled his fingers in Aaron's shirt. "I don't want you to give up on the idea of finding someone else after me." The words were painful, because he didn't want to think about Aaron loving anyone but him. But he couldn't stand the thought of Aaron being left alone.

"I don't want anyone but you, Dave," Aaron said. "I won't want anyone but you ten years from now, or twenty years from now, or ever. You're... you're better for me than anyone I've ever known." He kissed Dave's neck, then lifted to kiss Dave's lips slowly.

Dave let out a quiet noise, slipping his fingers into Aaron's hair and returning the kiss with tenderness. "I love you," he whispered. "I'm so sorry, Aaron."

"Stop apologizing to me," Aaron said, pulling back and looking at Dave, stroking his thumb over Dave's cheek.

"I can't help it." Dave closed his eyes. "I had all these plans for our growing old together. I was looking forward to watching Jack grow up. And I'm wretchedly, horribly sorry that I won't be here for that."

Aaron closed his eyes tightly, his brows furrowing, then he shook his head. "God, shut up," he said, his tone somehow both affectionate and grief-stricken at the same time.

Dave sighed and wrapped his arms around Aaron again, pressing his face against Aaron's neck.

Aaron pulled him close. "I love you." He paused, and let out an explosive breath. "You've lost too much weight."

"My appetite hasn't been great lately. I think it's the nausea." Dave snuggled against him. "You're always taking care of me."

"How are you feeling now?" Aaron murmured.

"Loved." Dave smiled slowly and then added, "Better than I did earlier."

Aaron stroked a hand down Dave's side. "Good," he whispered.


***


Aaron couldn't get used to how alone Sean's leaving made him feel. The morning after he witnessed Dave's seizure, he wanted nothing more than to talk to someone...and his brother was gone, and the team had taken a case in Tampa. He couldn't forget the way Dave had talked, how he'd begun to say things that directly referred to his own death.

It terrified Aaron.

Sean wouldn't help, though. He'd said as much himself. And Aaron wasn't about to call him. Finally, he grabbed the phone and his coffee and went out to the living room. He collapsed in the recliner and swiveled it so he could look out the window, then called Haley.

Jack answered. "Dad!" he yelled, and Aaron had to hold the phone away from his ear for a moment, though he smiled.

"Hey, Jack," he said. "Are you psychic?"

Jack laughed. "Caller ID. Says 'Aaron and Dave'."

"Not 'Dad and Dave'?" Aaron asked.

"You're not Mom and Andrew's dad!" Jack exclaimed.

Aaron laughed. It felt a little forced, but he was feeling slightly better than he had before, just hearing his son's voice. "How are you, buddy?"

"Good! I went swimming with Jesse and Mark yesterday and I got all sunburned. My shoulders are bright red. But Mom says that should teach me a lesson." He laughed. "How are you, Dad?"

Aaron was smiling until Jack finished. He sighed. "I'm fine," he said, then felt a little twist in his stomach that he wasn't telling Jack the truth. He needed to know what was happening, and Aaron knew he should probably tell him now in case anything happened... but Jack didn't need to know how weak his dad was feeling right now. "I'm fine."

Jack took a breath. "Mom said that Dave isn't feeling good again. Is Dave okay? You sound sad. Are you sad 'cause Dave's not feeling good?"

Aaron smiled sadly. Sometimes he thought children were natural profilers when it came to people they knew well. "Yeah," he admitted. "Dave's okay, but he's not doing very well."

"What does that mean?" Jack demanded. "Did they have to cut another hole in his head? I've read about chemo. Is he just sick 'cause of chemo? It makes you puke."

"You've been reading about chemo?" Aaron asked, surprised. He shouldn't be. Jack was bright and curious, but... Jack was reading about chemo?

Jack was quiet for a minute. "Is that okay?" he asked hesitantly. "I got a book at the library."

"Yeah, it's completely fine. I just hope it hasn't been upsetting you," Aaron said. He rubbed a hand over his face and wished he felt as relaxed as he had just a few minutes earlier.

"Um..." Jack clicked his tongue. "Chemo doesn't always work," he said finally.

Aaron swallowed. "I know."

"Is Dave's chemo working?" Jack asked.

Aaron closed his eyes, and then realized he couldn't speak. It felt like his throat was closing. He slumped back in his chair and pressed a hand over his eyes, trying to tell himself to be strong for Jack. It's only going to be harder for Jack if he knows how scared and sad you are.

Finally, he cleared his throat and forced out a few words. "There's some more tumors. Ones he didn't have before."

"Does that mean it's not working?" Jack asked. His voice sounded smaller suddenly. "Dad, is Dave getting sicker?"

Aaron didn't want to admit it. He hadn't really admitted, even to himself, that Dave wasn't going to get better. Not in any specific way. But suddenly, talking to Jack, he realized it would be a lie to tell Jack that Dave was going to be fine. "Yeah," Aaron said. God, he knew he should say more, but he just couldn't.

"Daddy?" Jack said. His voice went up, and Aaron could tell his son was about to cry. Then he heard someone else talking in the background. A moment later, Haley came on the line.

"Aaron?" she asked, her voice anxious. "Aaron, is that you?"

"Yeah," he said, and let out a shaky breath. "I'm sorry. I wasn't trying to upset him." He was suddenly worried he'd just done something utterly stupid telling Jack like this.

"Aaron, what's wrong?" she demanded. "Did something happen? Is Dave all right?" In the background, Aaron could hear Jack crying.

"He's asleep," Aaron said. God, he was an idiot. He wished he could take back this entire phone call now. "Haley... Dave's... he... he's not getting better. He's getting worse." The words burned in his chest and throat.

"Oh, God," she said. He heard her take a breath, and then the phone was muffled for a moment. She was talking to Jack, but he heard her say something about Andrew. Then she came back. "Aaron, do we need to come?"

"I don't know," Aaron said. "I don't know anything. They're talking about other treatment options. Dave's talking about quitting chemo all together. I don't know. God, just take care of Jack; I'm sorry, I shouldn't have told him on--"

"Aaron, stop," she cut in. "Don't apologize to me when you're going through hell. We're coming up. Jack needs to see you. Is Sean coming?"

"He's lost so much weight," Aaron said. "And he's... having seizures. And I-- I kicked Sean out. I told him to leave," he blurted, feeling like he couldn't stop the words now that they'd started.

"You what?" Haley was sounding really alarmed. "What happened with Sean? Andrew, go pack a bag for Jack. Aaron?"

"You don't have to drop everything and come. I don't even know--"

"Aaron, you need someone to be there. Don't argue with me. We're coming." She issued another order to her husband, then said, "You said Dave is talking about quitting the chemo?"

"Yeah," Aaron said, then tried to catch his breath. "I don't want him to think I've given up on him," he said urgently. "If everyone just shows up in a panic, Haley, he's--"

"Stop," she said. "Take a breath, Aaron. Listen to me. We're coming to visit because Sean left, okay? It's as simple as that."

Aaron sucked in a deep breath and held it, then let it out a moment later. "I don't know..."

"You've had people helping out, haven't you? You can't tell me Spencer and Emily haven't been helping out. Trust me, Aaron." She still sounded concerned, but she was calmer now that she was taking charge. "Besides, Jack is upset. He needs to see how Dave is, now. I think it'll be for the best."

Aaron shook his head slowly, but conceded defeat by not trying to talk her out of it again. "Tell Jack I'm sorry. Please."

"It's not your fault that he's upset. He needs to know what's happening." She sighed. "He loves Dave, and this is going to be hard on him, but...life is hard. Oh, Aaron, I wish you weren't having to go through this."

"That makes two of us," Aaron said. He sighed. "I should go. I'm sorry, Haley."

"Stop apologizing," she said gently. "We'll see you tomorrow, okay?"

"Yeah," Aaron said. He held back when he felt the need to apologize again. He felt slightly better that she was coming, suddenly, and that Jack was coming, but he felt guilty too. They were dropping everything and coming to stay with him and Dave. "Thanks," he whispered.

"Of course. Tell Dave we say hi. And Aaron, take care of yourself." She hung up, and he found himself looking blankly at the phone.

He wasn't sure how long he stared, but eventually he realized that Dave could have been standing behind him the whole time. He sucked in a breath. Stress was making him an idiot.

He turned around and was relieved that no one was there. He put the phone down and sipped his coffee, unable to get the sound of Jack crying out of his head.

Eventually he got up and went to the kitchen for another cup of coffee, then started thinking about breakfast. Normally he would be surprised that Dave hadn't already wandered out to look for something to eat. But Emily said he'd been sleeping a lot. Aaron waited until he'd finished his second cup, then went back to the bedroom to check on him.

Dave was tangled in the blankets with his head almost buried under the covers.

Aaron reached out and stroked a hand over what he guessed was probably Dave's shoulder. "Hey," he murmured.

Dave didn't respond, so he squeezed gently, which earned him a grunt.

"Dave," he said a little louder. He pulled the covers down just enough to see Dave was frowning, so he stroked his hand over Dave's cheek. "Come eat with me."

Dave made a muffled noise, then mumbled, "Tired." He didn't pull away from Aaron's touch, but he didn't open his eyes, either.

"There's coffee," Aaron said, his voice tempting.

Dave just made another unhappy noise and rolled away from him to bury his face in the pillow.

Aaron sighed. "Dave." He rubbed a hand over his face. "You can't sleep all day. Get up and eat breakfast, and we'll take a nap later," he tried to bargain.

"Just lemm' sleep," Dave said.

"I'll let you come right back to bed," Aaron whispered. He leaned down and kissed Dave's pajama covered shoulder.

"Why don't you fucking let me stay in bed," Dave grouched.

Aaron frowned. "Are you going to spend the rest of your life sleeping?" he said, irritation in his voice, and then immediately felt guilty.

"Maybe I am," Dave snapped back, and pulled the covers over his head.

"Fine," Aaron said. "Fine. Haley and Jack are coming tomorrow. I hope you'll at least get out of bed for them, if you won't for me." It was a low blow, perhaps, and maybe he shouldn't be pushing Dave. He was sick and in pain, but he was still able. Aaron hated the idea that Dave might waste the time he had left to enjoy life.

"Haley and Jack?" Dave didn't come out from under the covers at first, but then he sighed and pushed them back. "Why are Haley and Jack coming?" He rolled over, then groaned and curled his fingers around Aaron's, letting his eyes close again.

"To help," Aaron said. "I called to see how they were."

"Mmm." Dave sighed and pulled Aaron's hand over to kiss his fingers. "Just let me lie here a few more minutes," he said. He didn't sound as grumpy as he had before, at least. "M'so tired."

"Please get up," Aaron said. I'm already losing you; I don't want to lose you before I have to.

Dave sighed and opened his eyes. "I want a kiss," he said, sounding petulant. But he sat up and stole a kiss, then leaned against Aaron.

Aaron made a pleased noise and wrapped his arms around Dave. He pressed his lips to the side of Dave's head. "You are such a stubborn bastard," he murmured, but there was no mistaking the affection and happiness in his tone. Who would have thought a year ago he could be so happy to convince Dave to get out of bed?

"Put years of practice into it," Dave said, and let out a long sigh, relaxing into Aaron's embrace. "Mmm, I'm glad you love me for it."

"That's not why I love you. That's part of you I've grown to love," Aaron said, smiling. "What do you want for food? You need to put some weight back on."

"And here I thought it was one of my selling points." Dave kissed Aaron's neck. "Nnh. Nothing sounds good. Just fix something and I'll eat as much as I can."

Aaron stroked a hand over Dave's head, and pulled back, giving Dave a gentle tug, but then not pushing him to move. "I love you," he whispered, then kissed Dave and headed to the kitchen.



Dave didn't eat much at breakfast. He seemed to make a genuine effort, but the bacon and toast appeared to hurt his mouth, and he only ate part of his eggs before he lapsed into just pushing them around on his plate. It made Aaron's chest ache to see Dave's appetite so reduced.

When Dave noticed Aaron watching him, he took several more bites of his eggs before giving up. He did get up and pour himself a glass of milk, but eventually he said, "I'm going to go sit in my recliner for a while." He kissed the top of Aaron's head as he went past. Aaron watched him go, then listened until he heard the squeak of the recliner.

Aaron sighed and dropped his head in his hands for a moment. He suddenly wished Haley and Jack were coming today. Maybe Dave would try to act well for Jack. Or maybe not. Aaron had no idea.

He got up and washed the dishes, then made himself another cup of coffee before joining Dave in the living room. Dave was sleeping again, wrapped up in the afghan Garcia had made him. Aaron stared at him for a moment, wishing he could ignore how bad Dave was starting to look. Then he settled in the couch near Dave, reaching over to touch Dave's knee.

Dave grunted and sucked in a long breath, then mumbled his name.

Aaron smiled and looked over at him. "Hey," he murmured.

Dave yawned, then looked over at him, seemingly rousing himself further. "Drifted off for a while." He covered Aaron's hand with his own.

"S'okay," Aaron said. "Feel any better?"

"Mmm. I wouldn't mind another pain pill." Dave's fingers curled around Aaron's. "How long did I sleep?"

"Half an hour, maybe," Aaron said. "Did you take something when you got up?"

"Don't remember," Dave said. "Maybe I did." He sighed. "They ought to make recliners big enough for two people."

Aaron laughed. "Would be nice. You could join me over here, though." He turned his hand and squeezed Dave. "If you took something when you got up, it's too soon for another. Do you remember if you took your anti-seizure medication?"

Dave frowned for a moment, then sighed. "I think I took them both." He was sounding more awake. "Yeah. Could I get another cup of tea?"

"Yeah," Aaron said, and sat up. "I don't want to give you pills unless you're sure. We should put a little notebook next to the bottles so you can write down what you're taking and when." He stood and headed into the kitchen.

"You're a genius. Where have you been all my life?" Dave called after him. It made Aaron laugh quietly as he fixed Dave's tea. When he came back, Dave had moved to the couch.

"I want to sit with you," Dave said.

Aaron smiled and handed him his tea. "Good." He sat and slid his arm around Dave's shoulders, pulling Dave against him.

"So what are you going to do today?" Dave asked. He sipped his tea, then leaned his head against Aaron's shoulder.

"Whatever you want to do with me," Aaron said.

Dave was quiet for a while. "You could read to me."

Aaron's smile went a little amused. "One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish?"

Dave snorted. "Maybe something a little more complex than Dr. Seuss." He sighed. "I guess we could watch a movie if you want."

"I don't mind reading," Aaron said. He kissed Dave's cheek. "Just tell me what you want to hear."

Dave gave a little sigh that sounded contented. "Your voice."

Comments

[thelana.livejournal.com]

Another real tearjerker. Especially the conversation about life after death and wanting Aaron to move on.

"Just tell me what you want to hear."

Dave gave a little sigh that sounded contented. "Your voice."

So pretty :(

[innerslytherin]

Yeah, they really have a lot of hard issues they're dealing with here. I'm glad you're sticking with them!

[thelana.livejournal.com]

I swear the only thing that's keeping me is the pesky "having to go bed" and "having to go to work" thing. ;) I'm generally the kind of person who wants to read all in one swoop.

[lynnashe.livejournal.com]

This was heartbreaking. Dave's seizure right in front of Aaron was the perfect way to force Aaron's awareness that everything is not alright. Quite a tearjerker. The last line of this chapter is especially poignant, Dave asking for nothing more than Aaron's voice.

[innerslytherin]

Thank you! Poor Aaron wanted to know what was going on, but this was a pretty brutal way for him to learn. At the same time, it didn't allow any room for denial there. :/