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geekystudmuffinTitle: The Last Best Days
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
innerslytherin and severity_softly
Artist:tli
Pairing: Hotch/Rossi
Rating: NC-17
Word count: 147,800
Summary: Futurefic--Shortly before Dave turns sixty, he is diagnosed with a grade III brain tumor. He and Aaron have to come to terms with what this means for their relationship. Eventually the team has to help Aaron say goodbye.
Notes: Heavy angst. Lots of medical detail. Character death. This fic would not exist without the extensive help, support, encouragement, and hand-holding fromresolucidity, who served as our medical consultant throughout.
Master post
Chapter Seven
"DAVE!"
Jack jumped out of the car and ran up the drive, his greeting such a total one-eighty that Aaron had to smile.
"Hey, buddy." Dave bent to hug Jack, obviously pleased by the exuberant greeting. "So I hear I missed a pretty awesome party."
"Yeah, you totally should have been there! Dad got caught in the watergun fight, and then he dragged Mom and Andrew into it too!"
Dave raised his eyebrows and glanced over at Aaron, who gazed blandly back. All right, perhaps he hadn't told Dave everything about his weekend in Georgia.
"Man, and I was stuck hanging out with Derek and Spencer all weekend. Obviously I would have had a better time if I'd been in Georgia with you."
Jack shrugged. "Derek and Spencer are cool. But I can't really see Spencer having a watergun fight with anyone." He looked over at Aaron and grinned. "Hi, Dad."
"Hey," Aaron said, then made a gesture that meant he wanted a hug too. "What am I? Chopped liver?"
Jack wrinkled his nose. "Ugh, that stuff is so gross," he said, and hugged Aaron.
"Well, it's good to see I'm a step up then," Aaron said, and Jack laughed.
"You're just not as cool as me, because you don't have a hole in your head," Dave said.
"You don't either any more," Jack countered. "You just think you're cool."
Dave gasped, clutching at his chest. "Jack, I'm hurt."
Aaron laughed. "Dave, no one over the age of forty is cool, hole in their head or not."
Dave sighed. "You're probably right. In fact, it's probably not even cool to say 'cool' any more."
Haley came up the walk at a more sedate pace, carrying a suitcase. "Are you two sure you really want to do this? If he annoys you, I can always take him back home with me."
"Mooooom!" he complained, then realized she was teasing him and sighed.
"Hey, that's not such a bad threat," Aaron said, taking Jack's suitcase and grinning down at Jack's glare.
"Yeah, we're gonna put you to work here, kiddo." Dave ruffled Jack's hair and laughed when Jack pulled away, smacking at his hand.
"Thank you, Haley," Aaron said, turning to give her a one armed hug. Dave was more adjusted to his treatments and wasn't as tired anymore, and they would be over within the week. Aaron was going to be going back to work, and Dave was going to be consulting from home for a while. Aaron knew Dave was well enough now that Jack, as young as he was, could help him out if Aaron got called out on a case.
"I'm glad he can help." She smiled and moved closer as Dave followed Jack into the house. "And frankly, I don't mind having a little break. So really. Keep him as long as you want."
"By the time you get him back, he'll be a perfect gentleman," Aaron promised, then pulled back to grin. "Oh wait, he's going to be around Dave, isn't he?"
"Oh no," she wailed, "I changed my mind!" Then she smiled. "Well, maybe he'll work Jack so much Jack won't have time to learn any bad habits from him."
Aaron snorted. "He spoils Jack more than I do."
"You're kidding, that's why Jack always comes home with more stuff than he left with?" she said, giving him a look. She paused. "If you think Dave's up to it, it might be nice if he could see Derek and Emily. He really likes them, and it might make him feel more a part of your life, even though you're going back to work." She looked apologetic.
"I'm sure everyone will be around," Aaron said, wondering what she meant, or if she meant anything at all. Sometimes, no matter how they'd mended their relationship, he still wasn't sure where he stood with her when it came to his job and what she thought his priorities were.
She nodded. "He's really proud of you, you know. I think it makes him feel cool to hang out with all your 'superhero' coworkers." She smiled faintly, though it seemed to hold a hint of regret. "I have a feeling we're raising a future G-man."
Aaron breathed a laugh, then thought about that for a moment. He tilted his head, looking at her thoughtfully. "Does that bother you?" he asked, his voice gentle and carefully neutral.
She made a wry face. "Yes. And no." She shrugged. "I like that our son has such respect for law enforcement. I'm grateful that he loves and looks up to his father. And I think I would be more comfortable with the idea if I thought he would go into something like cyber crimes or, you know, embezzlement. Serial killers? Not so much." She paused and brushed hair out of her face, then smiled again. "It's also possible I'm hoping he'll grow out of it in the next ten years."
"I know what you mean," he said. He would be proud of Jack no matter what he did, touched if Jack followed in his footsteps, and amazingly grateful if Jack grew up with the same sense of justice Aaron valued so much... but just now, the thought of his ten year old boy putting himself in danger like he did was too hard to imagine. "You know I would never push him--"
"Aaron, I know," she said quickly. She reached out and touched his arm. "I know you wouldn't. Whatever happened between us, I've always known you would do anything to protect both Jack and me. I still know that." Her smile strengthened. "And now so would Dave. I know you guys don't make it glamorous for him. He does that all on his own."
Aaron nodded and smiled faintly, then tilted his head at the door. "Are you coming in for a while, or do you and Andrew have plans?"
"We don't have plans, but we wouldn't want to impose if you do."
"Not much. Dave was thinking he might make dinner with Jack. Just something simple, but I think he's felt a little useless not being up to feeding me," he teased.
"With all those good Italian recipes? I'm sure he was." She laughed. "Would you like us to stay? Please, just tell me, Aaron. I need to know what you need from me right now. Whatever it is that Andrew and I can do to help you."
"Haley, there's not anything that I need right now. I wouldn't have offered if I didn't want you, but you don't have to stay if you'd rather go."
She sighed and studied him for a minute, then shook her head. "We'll stay," she said, and waved Andrew to come up to the house.
When they got inside, they found Dave and Jack already in the kitchen, pulling out pans and ingredients. "Spaghetti okay with everyone?" Dave asked, and when he got an affirmative, he shooed them out of the kitchen. "The masters need privacy to do our best work," he joked, which made Jack grin.
Aaron, Haley, and Andrew settled in the living room, where from time to time they could hear Dave answering a question or issuing instructions. At one point they heard Jack say, "Taste it yourself, then!" and after that there was a protracted silence.
Aaron glanced at Haley apologetically. "The radiation basically took away Dave's sense of taste," he explained. "It's been very hard on him. He's always loved cooking..."
Haley nodded in understanding, and Andrew actually touched Aaron's shoulder briefly before pulling away.
Finally dinner was ready, and Jack came out to call them all to dinner while Dave set the table. He had a streak of spaghetti sauce across one cheek.
Aaron grinned as they all headed to the table. "Dave teach you how to make Mama Rosa's meat sauce?"
Jack shook his head. "We made meatballs!" he announced. "With... that seedy stuff that tastes like sweet wood."
Dave laughed. "Rosemary," he said. He looked slightly uncomfortable, and Aaron just hoped he'd been able to taste enough (or have Jack taste enough) that their food was edible. He knew the recipe by heart, though.
"You'll turn Jack into a famous chef like his uncle," Andrew joked. "Then once he's famous and everyone's clamoring to eat at his restaurant, we can all retire."
Dave grinned.
"Why would you retire?" Jack asked.
"Because you'd take care of us, right? With all the money you'd be making?" Andrew made an exaggerated hopeful face.
Jack thought about this for a minute. "I think I'd spend my money on cars and music," he said. "Not you."
Dave snorted with laughter.
"But all our hopes and future rely on you," Aaron protested, but Jack just made a face. "What do you need more than one car for anyway?" he asked, grinning.
"Because they're cool!" Jack said, making car noises for a moment. "I think you should teach me how to drive."
"Oh Lord," Haley said, and rubbed a hand over her face.
"You're a little young for that yet," Dave said.
"If I can cook, why can't I drive?"
Dave raised an eyebrow. "Because your cooking can only kill your family, but your driving would endanger the public at large."
Andrew nearly choked on his drink laughing, and everyone else chuckled as Haley rubbed his back. Except for Jack, who was fiddling with his fork thoughtfully.
"Andy Malloney's dad lets him drive. he sits in his lap and turns the wheel while his dad works the pedals," Jack said, his voice pleading.
"And I'm not Andy Malloney's dad," Aaron said, amused in spite of how oddly old that made him feel.
"Anyway, your dad's in the habit of upholding the law, not breaking it," Dave pointed out. "We don't carry these badges around so we can do whatever we want, you know." He nudged Jack. "Besides, any old idiot can drive. Not any old idiot can cook."
"I think I'm offended," Aaron said, and Dave just gave him a smug look.
"But driving's cooler," Jack said.
"Wait 'til you meet some girl you like and tell her you can cook," Dave said, grinning. "Trust me when I say you'll think cooking's cooler then."
"Girls are stupid," Jack announced.
"Heeey," Haley said, and Jack laughed.
"You're not a girl," he told her.
Dave laughed. "That's definitely not the sort of thing you should ever say to a female," he told Jack. "And especially your mom."
"You'll be lucky if she doesn't box your ears," Andrew said, but he leaned over to Haley, smiling. "I still think you're a beautiful girl," he murmured, and kissed her.
"Ewwwwww!" Jack put his hands in his face, covering his eyes.
Aaron snorted. "You know," he said, looking at Haley. "I almost prefer this to what he's going to be like in a few years."
Andrew and Haley left shortly after dinner, and Jack sprawled on the couch with a book while Dave and Aaron sat in their respective chairs. Aaron couldn't help stealing happy glances at his son. He was pleased that Jack, though an active child, enjoyed reading too. After a while he noticed that Jack's book had slumped to his chest, and Jack appeared to be staring at the ceiling.
"Is it really gone?" Jack asked finally.
Aaron glanced at Dave, then back at Jack. "It wasn't after the surgery, but they're going to take a picture of Dave's brain when the treatments end, and we'll see. The doctor said it looks good, though."
"So are you still sick?" Jack looked at Dave. "You seem better."
Dave smiled at him. "Well, I feel pretty much better," he said. "I've got another week of treatment, and then I have to keep taking pills. But here in a couple weeks, when they take that picture, hopefully they'll tell me I'm not sick any more."
Jack nodded slowly, his expression thoughtful. "Daddy seems happier now." He glanced at Aaron.
Aaron nodded, partly wishing Jack hadn't noticed how worried and scared he was. He felt like he should have been stronger than that for his son. On the other hand, it was probably good that Jack did, in a way. He knew Jack must have been feeling the same way, and he needed to know it was okay to feel that way. "I am happier. I worry when my family is sick, and this is a bad sort of sick," he said. "But Dave is feeling better. So I feel better."
After a moment Jack got up and climbed into Aaron's lap. "I love you," he said, wrapping his arms around Aaron's neck. "You won't get sick too, will you? I want Dave to get better and you to not get sick."
Aaron smiled and petted Jack's hair. "Fortunately brain tumors aren't contagious." He kissed the top of Jack's head. "I love you too. Dave's the one you should be hugging, though," he said, and grinned, squeezing Jack tight for a moment.
Jack eyed Dave for a minute, then pulled away from Aaron and climbed in Dave's lap instead. Dave snorted but hugged him anyway. "Any other questions you need answered?" he asked, his voice gentler than usual.
"Does that hurt?" Jack asked, pointing to the spot where Dave's radiation had kept his hair from growing back.
"It's a little sore. Feels like a sunburn. But it doesn't really hurt hurt. I have some lotion I can put on it to help." Dave's expression was open; it occurred to Aaron that of all their friends and family, Jack might be easiest to deal with, simply because he was honest about his curiosity.
"Did they, like... shoot lasers into your head?" Jack asked, and Aaron barely held a laugh at how Jack sounded like he sort of thought that was a cool idea.
Dave grinned. "Kind of. I had to hold still, and they pointed a machine at my head." He brushed at the tiny dot they'd tattooed to direct the radiation. "See this? That's so they point it at the same place every time, instead of missing and hitting my spleen or something." He tapped Jack on the nose. "Don't get any crazy ideas, though. I'm not gonna turn into Spiderman with radioactive stuff."
"Aww," Jack said, and smiled. Then he sighed and the smile slipped off. He paused for a long moment, then said, "Is it gonna come back? Rashid at school said his uncle had cancer, and it kept coming back... and then he died."
Aaron's stomach dropped as Dave glanced at him. He opened his mouth, but Dave spoke first, in a low voice. "It could. That's what the radiation and the chemo are for, to try to keep it from coming back. So we hope it won't. But it might." He didn't look away from Jack as he answered.
Jack's eyes got a little glassy, but he didn't cry. Aaron watched as his jaw tensed instead, and saw himself in his son. "Rashid said his uncle got really sick. Will you get really sick if it comes back?"
Dave brushed his thumb against Jack's cheek and gave him a faint smile. "I might. I don't really know what happens if it comes back." He paused. "To tell you the truth, Jack, the idea of getting sick again scares me. But I try not to think about that too much, and to focus on getting better instead."
Jack nodded slowly, but didn't look much happier.
"We can't worry about that now," Aaron said quietly. "Now we have to enjoy that he feels better, because if he does get sick again, we will have wasted all the good time we had worrying." God, had... Don't speak in the past tense, he told himself.
Jack nodded again. "Mom said I need to help you out. She says I should do all my chores you give me and be good."
Dave's smile strengthened. "Well, there'll be time for basketball and games too. Did your dad tell you we had a basketball hoop put up in the back? Maybe Derek can come over and play with you."
Jack's lip twitched, then he smiled again. "I bet he's way better at it than Dad."
"Hey," Aaron complained. "I just have my strengths in different areas."
Dave chuckled. "Well, I'm no good at basketball, either. But you'll be able to keep in practice while you're here."
Jack smiled and hugged Dave. He must still want reassurance, because he didn't protest when Dave rubbed his back and rested his cheek against Jack's hair. Aaron wasn't sure which of them got more comfort from it. After a while he went back to reading, when no more conversation was forthcoming. He tried to lose himself in his novel, but every once in a while the question floated through his head: Will it come back? He always glanced over at Dave, reminding himself to enjoy the fact that Dave was feeling better.
The last time he looked over, Dave was looking back at him. Dave grinned faintly and nodded down at Jack, who was clearly asleep. Smiling back, Aaron got up and lifted Jack out of Dave's lap. "Time for bed, buddy," he said when Jack stirred in his arms. "Come on. You've got weeks and weeks to spend with Dave."
When he'd got Jack settled in bed, he returned to the living room and found Dave relocated to the couch. When he walked in, Dave looked up, his expression inviting.
"Hi, handsome," he murmured, settling next to Dave. He wrapped an arm around Dave and kissed his temple, just to the side of the spot Jack had asked about.
"Mmm, hi." Dave smiled and turned his head for a proper kiss. He stroked his fingers against Aaron's cheek. "Our son takes after you. Charming and good-looking, and always to the point."
Aaron laughed quietly. "He's ten. All ten year olds are to the point."
"Well, it's one of your many good qualities, so hopefully he'll hang onto it." Dave kissed along his jaw slowly. "I hope he's like you when he's older. You're a good man, Aaron."
"Mmm," Aaron hummed, and tilted his head to offer Dave more of his skin to kiss. "Did I do something to deserve the sudden praise?"
"You always deserve it," Dave murmured, his lips brushing Aaron's earlobe. "Seeing you and Jack together just got me thinking."
Aaron shivered at the breath in his ear and pulled Dave against him more. "He's stubborn too," he said, then grinned. "I think he got that from you."
Dave chuckled. "Yeah, because you've never been stubborn," he teased. He sucked lightly on Aaron's earlobe, one hand settling against his chest.
"Never," Aaron murmured. "If you keep doing this much longer, I won't be able to stop."
"Who said I was interested in you stopping?" Dave whispered. His mouth moved down Aaron's neck, nibbling lightly.
"God." Aaron slid his fingers into Dave's hair, arching a little into Dave's mouth. Their sex life was just starting to get back to normal now that Dave wasn't so tired anymore, and while it hadn't been a hardship, Aaron had missed this. "We should go to the bedroom."
"Mmm, don't want to traumatize Jack if he needs a drink of water, huh," Dave commented, and sucked lightly at Aaron's skin. "Guess you have a point." He pulled away slowly, with a tiny scrape of teeth, and then grinned at Aaron.
Aaron smiled back and stood, pulling Dave with him. They slowed outside the guest bedroom door, listening to see if Jack was up, then slipped quietly into the bedroom, where Aaron turned and kissed Dave soundly, his fingers sliding up under Dave's shirt.
Dave let out a soft groan, pressing into Aaron's touch. "God, I love you," he whispered, burying his hands in Aaron's hair. "You're so sexy. So strong."
"Need you," Aaron replied. He needed this after the questions Jack had asked. He slipped his hands around and started to unbutton Dave's shirt, then kissed down his neck. "I need you more than I can say."
"Good thing, since I need you too," Dave said. He arched his neck, one hand still in Aaron's hair and the other sliding down his back to cup his ass. "Perfect."
"Mmm," Aaron hummed, as he pushed Dave's shirt off his shoulders and bent to cover Dave's nipple with his mouth. "Love you." His fingers were already working on Dave's pants, wanting to be naked in bed with him as soon as possible.
Dave groaned again and his fingers slid around to tug at Aaron's shirt. "Keep talking to me," he murmured, nudging Aaron towards the bed.
Aaron smiled against Dave's skin. "You the most passionate person I know," he whispered, letting Dave tug his shirt off after unbuttoning the top two buttons. "I love your body."
Dave grunted. "Holes in my head and all?" he murmured. His fingers trailed down Aaron's chest to rest at his stomach. He brushed the skin tenderly, then undid Aaron's fly.
"Holes in your head," Aaron whispered. "New sexy tattoo." His words hit him suddenly, and he sucked in a breath. God, he needed to not let Jack's questions get to him. Aaron lifted his head and mouthed at Dave's neck, pulling Dave against him and concentrating on the way Dave's skin felt against his own.
"I love you," Dave said, holding him tightly and stroking fingers down his back. "I love how you treat me and how you need me." Aaron could hear the smile in Dave's voice. "And I definitely love your body." His fingers slid down and he squeezed Aaron's ass. "Bed," he murmured.
"Good idea," Aaron whispered. He kicked out of his pants, and climbed back onto the bed, reaching his hand out for Dave to follow.
Grinning, Dave followed suit, settling against Aaron and kissing him hungrily. His movements seemed so sure, so strong...if Aaron closed his eyes he could almost pretend this was all behind them...or that it had never happened at all. "Sexy," Dave breathed in his ear, twining a leg with Aaron's.
"God, I need you," Aaron whispered, sliding his fingers into Dave's hair. "So much." He trailed his fingers down Dave's hip, then tugged gently, wanting Dave's weight on him.
Dave was quick to oblige, rolling on top of him and kissing him again. Aaron could feel his cock growing harder against his hip. "Aaron," he breathed between kisses. "Love."
"Yes." Aaron's fingers were roaming Dave's back, squeezing his ass. He shifted, rocking his hips up against Dave, and they both groaned, a thrill shooting through Aaron. "Oh, please."
"God, you feel so good," Dave said, his lips against Aaron's jaw. "Don't think I'll last long." He bit gently at Aaron's skin, then sucked, soothing his tongue against it. "Need you."
"Have me," Aaron said, sliding his leg up the back of Dave's and letting Dave slip between his legs. "Fuck me."
Dave groaned and shifted against him, watching him heatedly. "Missed this," he mumbled against Aaron's lips. He reached to the nightstand for the lube, then swore as pill bottles clattered off it. Ignoring them, he tugged the drawer open and kissed Aaron hard.
That jerked Aaron back to reality for a moment, and he tried to force himself back into the moment, moaning into the kiss and pulling Dave's hips down against him harder. "Fuck me," he insisted, wanting to lose himself in this again.
"Shh, I am," Dave murmured, and shifted his hips against Aaron. "Not usually this impatient." He grinned at Aaron, slick fingers finding their way to his entrance. "So sexy."
Aaron let out a shaky breath and slid his leg a little higher over Dave's. "Yes," he whispered, as Dave's fingers circles the tight ring of muscle. He closed his eyes, letting himself focus on what his body was telling him instead of his mind, then drew in a little breath as Dave's finger slipped just inside of him. "So good, Dave. David," he breathed, then curled his hand around his cock.
Dave leaned in, breathing hard. "Love fucking you," he whispered in Aaron's ear. He must have decided Aaron needed distraction. "Unpeeling that tight control and watching you come apart. Pushing inside you and knowing those grunts and moans are all because of me. God, Aaron, you're so fucking gorgeous." His fingers worked deeper, rubbing at Aaron's prostate, as he spoke.
Aaron moaned, arching at the shock of need that shot through him. He stroked his fingertips up his shaft and through the come glistening at the head of his cock, then started stroking slowly. "More."
"God, yes," Dave groaned, rubbing a little more, then pulling back to slick his cock. "Want to be inside you. Want to have you arching and writhing under me and telling me to take you harder." He nipped at Aaron's mouth. "Want you so much." He pressed inside, a low noise of desire escaping him.
Aaron arched under him, gasping softly and loving the feel of Dave filling him, I reminder that they were both very much well, healthy. "Gg-- Love you," he panted, his hand moving faster over himself as Dave started to move.
"Yes, yes," Dave murmured, his mouth growing urgent against Aaron's. His arm slid under Aaron's hips, pulling them closer as he thrust into his lover.
Aaron ran his nose along Dave's jaw, panting against Dave's neck as Dave moved against him. "Oh, God." He licked a stripe across Dave's neck, and Dave thrust harder in response, making Aaron let out a louder moan. He sucked in a sharp breath and bit his lip, remembering they weren't alone.
Dave chuckled. "You'll wake up Jack." He leaned in to kiss Aaron. "Let's play a game to see who can be quieter," he teased.
Aaron hummed an amused noise, smiling lazily up at Dave. "Feel good inside me," he murmured, and moved the hand around his cock to Dave's hip. "Touch me."
"Sexy," Dave gasped. "Love touching you." He curled his fingers around Aaron, stroking firmly. "Love bringing you pleasure." He kissed Aaron slowly. "Love you so much." He settled into more of a rhythm, trying to match his strokes with his thrusts.
Aaron made a strangled noise, then forced himself to quiet, whimpering and curling his fingers into Dave's skin. He whispered Dave's name, rocking his hips, both into Dave's fingers and onto Dave's cock, panting as Dave got his body singing.
He was whispering things in Aaron's ear as they moved together, their bodies falling easily back into long-accustomed rhythms. Aaron didn't really pay attention to the words; instead he lost himself in the feel of Dave against him. Dave's arms held him tightly, pulling their bodies together. Dave's words grew more urgent, his thrusts more ragged, and then Dave was coming, his breath harsh against Aaron's neck.
Aaron moaned quietly, holding Dave close and stroking his hand over Dave's back as Dave's hand stilled. e turned his head and kissed Dave's temple.
"God," Dave whispered, shifting against him. "So good." He pulled his weight away and started moving his hand again, stroking harder than before. "Love this. Love you."
"Nnghh," Aaron panted, his breath catching as his overheated nerves were worked up again. "Dave, please... please suck me."
"God, yes," Dave grinned at him and slid down his body, dropping kisses on his collarbone, his chest, his stomach, and finally taking Aaron's cock in deep. He sucked hard, his gaze turning up to Aaron's face. His hand slid down between Aaron's legs, cupping his balls and rolling gently.
Aaron's heart was beating hard against his ribcage, and he slid his fingers into Dave's hair. He wasn't going to last long, and he held a moan but couldn't stop the resulting whimper. His hand rode the top of Dave's head as he moved, and Aaron ignored the shorter patch of hair as his orgasm built, then finally overtook him.
Dave groaned quietly as he swallowed Aaron's release. His hand stroked up to rest on Aaron's stomach. As soon as Aaron had finished, Dave pulled back, smiling at him. "God, you're gorgeous."
Aaron hummed and almost-laugh and tugged at Dave gently. "C'mere."
"Mmm." Dave's smile widened into a grin and he moved up the bed to kiss Aaron hungrily. "Love you."
"I love you," Aaron replied, then kissed Dave again. He rolled them so that Dave was on his back, then curled up at Dave's side, draping his arm over Dave's chest, making a contented noise once he settled.
Dave's arms went tightly around him, holding him close. One hand rubbed up and down Aaron's arm. He turned his head and kissed Aaron's temple. "You're everything to me," he murmured.
Aaron sucked in a slow breath. "God, Dave," he murmured. "It's mutual." He kissed Dave's chest, still slightly damp from sweat. "You can't leave me; I'll never find anyone else that can fuck me like that."
Dave laughed and tightened his arms briefly. "Don't worry, I'm in for the long haul." He kissed Aaron's hair. "After all, you're the only person I ever let fuck me." He relaxed slightly, but still kept his arms around Aaron. "Ah, my life is so good."
Aaron smiled and kissed Dave's jaw, and snuggled closer. Let's keep it that way, he thought, and closed his eyes.
***
Dave had no real desire to get up early the next day, but he felt it was important to see Aaron off for his first day returning to work. Dave had promised that he and Jack would stop by to have lunch with him and pick up some case files for consultation. He got up and made omelets and coffee for breakfast, since that was something he could manage without needing to taste it. While Aaron was still in the shower and Dave was still breaking eggs, Jack wandered out, yawning and tousled, and poured himself a glass of orange juice.
They ate breakfast together, which was odd, but nice. Then Aaron kissed Jack and Dave goodbye.
"Try to stay out of trouble, you two," he admonished, looking at them both with raised eyebrows.
Dave grinned. "I think we can manage it, Aaron," he said, and kissed him once more.
"Eww!" said Jack.
Aaron laughed and headed to work, and Dave got in the shower to get ready for radiation.
"You won't have any trouble reading for twenty minutes during my treatment, right?" he asked Jack for the third time as he parked outside the clinic. "I don't think kids are supposed to be left 'unattended' in the waiting room, but you're a tall guy, you can probably pass for fourteen or so if you're quiet and keep to yourself."
Jack grinned at him. "I think I can manage it, Dave," he teased, echoing his words back at him. Dave laughed and ruffled his hair, then led the suddenly-scowling boy into the clinic.
He traded banter with the girls at the reception desk, explaining that his son was going to be waiting on him. They were all impressed with his having a son, though the more astute nurse commented on how much Jack resembled Aaron. The radiation team teased him about being grateful they only had a few more days of putting up with him, and he grumbled back at them about how they'd fried his brain. They congratulated him for heading back to work, even part-time, and then he was free and picking up Jack on his way to the car.
They got deli sandwiches and potato salad on their way to Quantico, and then they were stepping out of the elevator at the BAU.
"Hey, my man," Morgan greeted when they walked into the bullpen, grinning at Jack. "How's your head?"
Jack laughed. "It's Dave's head, dork."
"Don't call him a dork, dork," Emily piped up from her desk, her expression amused.
"I'm not a dork!" Jack protested. He went over to hang on Derek's desk. "Dave and Dad put in a basketball hoop in the back yard so I can keep practicing while I'm here."
"Hey, that's cool," Derek said. "So is Dave keeping you busy with that?"
Dave laughed. "I actually played a little bit of football when I was younger, but I've never been much for basketball, especially now."
It was then that he glanced up to see that Spencer had stood up, but was just sort of hovering, watching them. When Dave met his eye, he made a little self-deprecating face, and glanced down, but then he looked right back up. "Are your treatments over?" he asked, as Jack, Derek and Emily chatted.
"Not entirely," Dave said. "This is my last week of radiation, and then I'll have chemo to finish up after that. But I'm feeling a lot better." He grinned at Spencer. "I'm actually going to be doing some paper consultations, though I'm mostly going to work on them at home." He draped an arm around Spencer's shoulders and squeezed gently. "So much for your assertion that I wouldn't be back," he teased.
"But you're not back," Spencer said, his shoulders tensing a little.
Dave squeezed again, then took pity on him and let his arm fall. "I'll be back soon. Sometimes the chemo pills do make me a little sick, but mostly it's the radiation that's been fatiguing. I've finally gotten used to that, which is why I'm starting out with consults. But I'll be back for real before you know it." He grinned. "Whenever we get sick of Jack and send him home."
"Heeeeyyy!" Jack protested, but he grinned at Dave, then went back to talking to the others.
Spencer smiled faintly at Jack, then looked back at Dave. "When do they do the MRI to see if it's gone?"
"Three weeks from now," Dave said. "It's going to be fine, Spence. It's true that I'm still having occasional memory lapses, but generally speaking, I feel good." He smiled. "Maybe you can keep me company when Derek comes out to play ball with Jack."
Spencer's smile widened. "Yeah," he said, then glanced at the bag in Dave's hand. "You feeding all of us?"
Dave coughed. "Uh...Sure, you can have Jack's sandwich." Then he grinned and opened the bag. "Actually yeah. Hope you haven't changed the way you eat turkey sandwiches in the past two months."
Spencer was grinning now, and he shook his head. "Extra pickles and mayonnaise, no lettuce," he confirmed.
"Excellent, then you don't have to starve," Dave teased. "I'm gonna go grab Hotch. We could eat in the roundtable room." He gave the bag to Spencer, then headed up to Hotch's office, where he tapped on the doorframe, then stepped inside.
Aaron glanced up, the scowl on his face instantly disappearing. "Hey," he said. "Jack didn't get you in any trouble at the hospital, did he?"
Dave smiled warmly at him. "Nah, he was great. Bobbi knew he was yours the minute she laid eyes on him. He's gonna be an exceptionally handsome fellow when he grows up." He tilted his head towards the bullpen. "We brought lunch. Come eat with everyone?"
Aaron glanced sown at the papers on his desk, hesitating, then he sighed and pushed them all into a file folder. For a moment, Dave wondered if Aaron was going to insist on taking them with him, but then he said, "Quickly," and stood.
Dave shook his head and stole a kiss before they left Aaron's office. "You can't solve all the cases on your first day back," he murmured, leading the way to the roundtable room. Jack was seated between Emily and Spencer, chattering happily away at Spencer about his math class. Spencer, to his credit, looked interested. He started explaining something to Jack as Dave and Aaron joined the rest of the team.
"I hope I remembered everything right," Dave said, sitting down and looking for his turkey and ham on rye. He grinned as he got a chorus of agreement. At least he'd remembered something worth knowing.
They caught up on Dave's treatment and exchanged current personal news for a while, then Dave asked if anyone had case consultations they wanted to pass off to him. He didn't want too many, but he thought he could consult on several cases a week, at least.
Jack sighed. "Are you gonna work the whole time I'm here?" he asked. Sometimes when Jack said things like that, it reminded Dave about how Aaron said his marriage with Haley was in the last year of it.
"Of course not, dork," Dave replied, grinning at him. "But I have to have something to do while you're shooting hoops and playing that video game you brought with you, or else I'll get bored."
"You do realize how ridiculous the word 'dork' sounds when you say it, right?" Aaron asked, and everyone laughed but Dave, who gave him a mock scowl.
"That's right, everyone pick on Dave while they can," he replied, which he knew was severely lacking in bite. "You'll miss me on your next case when you want my opinion and I'm not answering your calls."
"You just said you wouldn't anyway," Jack pointed out. "Because you're not working the whole time I'm here."
Dave raised his eyebrows. "Got me there, buddy."
Emily grinned. "He does have a point, though," she said, gesturing at Aaron. "People over fifty shouldn't say it."
"It's the rules," Aaron said dryly, eating his sandwich.
"It's true. I only have another few years," she said, then made a face. "Oh, God."
"You're that old?!" Jack asked.
Dave burst out laughing. "Let me give you a piece of advice, Jack. Don't ever say those words to a girl. There's no way it won't end in tears. Probably yours, when she kicks your--ah, butt."
Emily snorted and flung a piece of her lettuce at Jack. Derek grinned. "You are gonna have to be schooled, Jack," he said.
"Not by you," Spencer piped up, eyeing Morgan.
"No kidding," Dave said, snickering. "I vote we let Emily school him." He glanced at Jack. "You do know Emily carries a gun, right?" he teased.
Jack stuck his tongue out at Dave, then went back to eating, though he had a hard time considering how hard he was giggling suddenly. He raised his eyebrows after he swallowed, and looked at Emily. "You could teach me how to shoot one!" he said, sounding excited, and Dave saw Aaron's gaze snap to his son.
"Jack," he said, his tone reproachful.
Oops, Dave thought. "Not the best idea, kiddo," he said. "Your mom might never let you visit us again if she found out you were driving and shooting guns. Let's stick with cooking, okay?"
"Driving? Do I want to know?" Spencer said.
"Jimmy Malloney's dad let's him drive," Aaron said, giving Spencer a flat look.
Spencer lifted his eyebrows and nodded, as Jack corrected, "Andy Malloney."
"Might as well call him Jailbird Malloney if we ever catch him driving," Dave said, and took another bite of his sandwich.
Morgan grinned. "See what you got to look forward to with Henry?" he teased Spencer.
"Wonderful," Spencer said, rolling his eyes, in spite of the fact that everyone knew Henry adored Spencer (and Spencer adored him, even if he was still learning how to deal with kids as he went).
"But you guys get to do all that stuff," Jack protested, frowning.
"We're adults, Jack. Guns are not toys," Aaron said, his voice more firm this time, his gaze very serious.
"Anyway, we all had to go through eleven weeks of Academy training before they let us do any of that," Dave said. "Did you know that while you're learning to be an FBI agent, you have to carry a play gun on your belt?"
Jack made a face. "That's stupid."
"Exactly." Aaron was frowning now, just faintly, and Dave slid his leg over to brush their ankles together.
"You know, Jack, it's a lot cooler to use your brains instead of physical strength, anyway," Derek said. Dave took a sip of his drink to hide a grin as Spencer's gaze went to Derek's face. Oblivious--or at least acting like it--Derek continued, "Anyone can throw a punch or shoot a gun. It's a lot more special if you can think your way out of a problem and talk other people through it."
Jack hummed, not sounding convinced. "That's boring."
"No more action movies for the rest of your life," Aaron announced, and Jack's jaw dropped.
"Heeeeeeeey!"
Aaron snorted, and barely repressed a sudden smile, but Spencer spoke next. "Actually, they've done studies on media and violent crime, and determined that while violent images can sometimes increase violent tendencies in the short run, it actually reduces the overall amount of violent crime directly after viewing, because it acts as a sort of substitute, and takes up time the offender might normally spend pursuing more dangerous activities."
Everyone had turned to look at Spencer, and after a moment, Jack laughed. "You're weird."
"Ah, thanks," Spencer said.
Dave raised his eyebrows. "You know, I wouldn't call Spencer weird if I were you, Jack, since he was just sticking up for you, in his own way."
"I guess so," Jack muttered. He slumped and took another bite of his sandwich, and Dave was amused at how Jack and Spencer were suddenly mirroring each other.
All too soon for Dave's pleasure, they were finished eating and Aaron stood, inviting Jack to walk back to his office with him. That meant Dave would have to get out of the way soon and head home. He knew he wasn't ready to come back to work full time, but it had been nice just to see the team and look around the bullpen.
It must be a measure of how much improved he seemed that he got handshakes from everyone instead of hugs. When Spencer tried to pull away, Dave gripped his hand tighter for a second. "Come to my office with me while I pick up a few things," he said, releasing him.
Spencer's eyebrows lifted, but then he nodded and followed Dave. "Ah... is this an 'I should shut the door' type of meeting?" he asked, once they were inside.
Dave gave him a half smile. "You can if you want, but really I just haven't seen enough of you lately. How are you doing, Spence?"
Spencer shrugged. He'd grown into himself a lot in the last several years, but he still sometimes seemed like he didn't know how to talk about himself. "I'm okay," he said. "Nothing's changed for me, really."
"Nothing's changed? How's your mom? Have you been seeing anyone in the past two months? Found some new music you like? Started a new degree?" Dave sat at his desk and pulled open a drawer, looking for some of the forms he would need to take home.
"Mmm, no. I haven't decided what's next," Spencer said, sitting in the chair across from Dave's desk. Dave had lost track of how many degrees Spencer had now, and Spencer had slowed down in the last few years, but showed no signs of stopping. "Maybe sculpture," he said, and Dave's gaze snapped up to see Spencer's smile was teasing. He shrugged. "Not seeing anyone, not that that's anything different. Mom's the same as usual."
Dave nodded. "You're not getting bored here, are you?" he asked. Since coming back to the BAU and meeting Spencer, Dave had lived half in fear and half in expectation that Spencer would eventually need something else to challenge himself. Dave had done it himself, after all, even if he'd always come back to this.
Spencer shifted, then shrugged again. "I don't know." He rubbed his forehead. "I don't want to leave everyone."
"You know, not everyone leaves like Gideon did," Dave said, pausing and looking up at Spencer. "And not everyone leaves like I did. After all, I kept in touch with Aaron when I left to pursue a writing career. If you decided to do something else, you wouldn't lose the people you care about." Then he chuckled. "What am I doing? I don't want you going anywhere, anyway."
Spencer breathed a laugh. "I have a pretty good track record of losing people," he said, then he immediately switched topics, like he'd decided he didn't want to talk about that. "I'm not leaving. What would they do with two men down?"
"Well. Good," Dave said, though he wasn't sure what to make of Spencer's answer. "What have you been doing with two men down?" he teased, and darted a glance at Spencer. "Derek would be miserable if you left, anyway."
Spencer gave Dave an odd look, then shook his head. "I'm sure he's heard enough physics jokes and Star Wars trivia to last him a lifetime."
Dave snorted and shook his head. "You're more than just physics jokes and trivia, Spencer. And he'd be the first to say so. Trust me on that." He smiled and pulled out the last of his supplies. "Promise you'll come out to the house when Derek comes to hang out with Jack. I miss seeing you."
Spencer smiled, and got up when Dave did. "Yeah, okay," he said. "I, ah... I miss you too." Spencer cleared his throat, then ran a hand through his hair awkwardly.
Dave nodded, then subjected Spencer to a hug, just because. "Good. You're one of the most important people in my life." He pulled back and grinned crookedly at him. "I'm working on saying that, you know, when I don't think I'm about to die."
Spencer's expression changed, somewhere between surprise, confusion, and maybe a little bit of nausea from Dave bringing it up. "Why?" Spencer asked, then shook his head and clarified. "The, ah, important part, not why you're telling me." He looked down, looking like he wasn't sure he was supposed to ask.
Dave tilted his head. "Why are you important to me?" he asked, smiling. "Because I like you. You're fun and interesting to be around. Not to mention I learn from you all the time." He shook his head slightly, still smiling. "Sometimes it amazes me that you don't seem to realize your own worth."
Spencer laughed. "It's not that," he said, then shook his head. "Nevermind."
"No, no 'nevermind' allowed," Dave said, eyeing him. "What is it, then?"
Spencer tilted his head. "I think I have a different opinion of what my 'worth' is than you do," he explained.
Dave shook his head, smiling faintly. "Well, you're gonna have to work on that. Because everyone here feels the way I do."
Spencer nodded slowly, and matched Dave's smile. "I think it's pretty ingrained. It's sort of funny. I learn new things all the time, but I can't relearn how to think differently about myself, even if I understand the psychological reasons for it." He shrugged.
Dave chuckled. "And that's one thing I don't know how to help with, because...face it, confidence is something I've never had a problem with." He patted Spencer's shoulder and headed for the door.
"I would have never guessed," Spencer said dryly.
"I know, I'm so good at acting humble," Dave said, straight-faced. Then he grinned at Spencer. "I'll see you again soon." He caught sight of Jack hanging out at Derek's desk again and corralled him on the way out.
"Come on, kiddo. Let's go get some ice cream."
Author:
innerslytherin and severity_softlyArtist:
tliPairing: Hotch/Rossi
Rating: NC-17
Word count: 147,800
Summary: Futurefic--Shortly before Dave turns sixty, he is diagnosed with a grade III brain tumor. He and Aaron have to come to terms with what this means for their relationship. Eventually the team has to help Aaron say goodbye.
Notes: Heavy angst. Lots of medical detail. Character death. This fic would not exist without the extensive help, support, encouragement, and hand-holding from
resolucidity, who served as our medical consultant throughout.Master post
Chapter Seven
"DAVE!"
Jack jumped out of the car and ran up the drive, his greeting such a total one-eighty that Aaron had to smile.
"Hey, buddy." Dave bent to hug Jack, obviously pleased by the exuberant greeting. "So I hear I missed a pretty awesome party."
"Yeah, you totally should have been there! Dad got caught in the watergun fight, and then he dragged Mom and Andrew into it too!"
Dave raised his eyebrows and glanced over at Aaron, who gazed blandly back. All right, perhaps he hadn't told Dave everything about his weekend in Georgia.
"Man, and I was stuck hanging out with Derek and Spencer all weekend. Obviously I would have had a better time if I'd been in Georgia with you."
Jack shrugged. "Derek and Spencer are cool. But I can't really see Spencer having a watergun fight with anyone." He looked over at Aaron and grinned. "Hi, Dad."
"Hey," Aaron said, then made a gesture that meant he wanted a hug too. "What am I? Chopped liver?"
Jack wrinkled his nose. "Ugh, that stuff is so gross," he said, and hugged Aaron.
"Well, it's good to see I'm a step up then," Aaron said, and Jack laughed.
"You're just not as cool as me, because you don't have a hole in your head," Dave said.
"You don't either any more," Jack countered. "You just think you're cool."
Dave gasped, clutching at his chest. "Jack, I'm hurt."
Aaron laughed. "Dave, no one over the age of forty is cool, hole in their head or not."
Dave sighed. "You're probably right. In fact, it's probably not even cool to say 'cool' any more."
Haley came up the walk at a more sedate pace, carrying a suitcase. "Are you two sure you really want to do this? If he annoys you, I can always take him back home with me."
"Mooooom!" he complained, then realized she was teasing him and sighed.
"Hey, that's not such a bad threat," Aaron said, taking Jack's suitcase and grinning down at Jack's glare.
"Yeah, we're gonna put you to work here, kiddo." Dave ruffled Jack's hair and laughed when Jack pulled away, smacking at his hand.
"Thank you, Haley," Aaron said, turning to give her a one armed hug. Dave was more adjusted to his treatments and wasn't as tired anymore, and they would be over within the week. Aaron was going to be going back to work, and Dave was going to be consulting from home for a while. Aaron knew Dave was well enough now that Jack, as young as he was, could help him out if Aaron got called out on a case.
"I'm glad he can help." She smiled and moved closer as Dave followed Jack into the house. "And frankly, I don't mind having a little break. So really. Keep him as long as you want."
"By the time you get him back, he'll be a perfect gentleman," Aaron promised, then pulled back to grin. "Oh wait, he's going to be around Dave, isn't he?"
"Oh no," she wailed, "I changed my mind!" Then she smiled. "Well, maybe he'll work Jack so much Jack won't have time to learn any bad habits from him."
Aaron snorted. "He spoils Jack more than I do."
"You're kidding, that's why Jack always comes home with more stuff than he left with?" she said, giving him a look. She paused. "If you think Dave's up to it, it might be nice if he could see Derek and Emily. He really likes them, and it might make him feel more a part of your life, even though you're going back to work." She looked apologetic.
"I'm sure everyone will be around," Aaron said, wondering what she meant, or if she meant anything at all. Sometimes, no matter how they'd mended their relationship, he still wasn't sure where he stood with her when it came to his job and what she thought his priorities were.
She nodded. "He's really proud of you, you know. I think it makes him feel cool to hang out with all your 'superhero' coworkers." She smiled faintly, though it seemed to hold a hint of regret. "I have a feeling we're raising a future G-man."
Aaron breathed a laugh, then thought about that for a moment. He tilted his head, looking at her thoughtfully. "Does that bother you?" he asked, his voice gentle and carefully neutral.
She made a wry face. "Yes. And no." She shrugged. "I like that our son has such respect for law enforcement. I'm grateful that he loves and looks up to his father. And I think I would be more comfortable with the idea if I thought he would go into something like cyber crimes or, you know, embezzlement. Serial killers? Not so much." She paused and brushed hair out of her face, then smiled again. "It's also possible I'm hoping he'll grow out of it in the next ten years."
"I know what you mean," he said. He would be proud of Jack no matter what he did, touched if Jack followed in his footsteps, and amazingly grateful if Jack grew up with the same sense of justice Aaron valued so much... but just now, the thought of his ten year old boy putting himself in danger like he did was too hard to imagine. "You know I would never push him--"
"Aaron, I know," she said quickly. She reached out and touched his arm. "I know you wouldn't. Whatever happened between us, I've always known you would do anything to protect both Jack and me. I still know that." Her smile strengthened. "And now so would Dave. I know you guys don't make it glamorous for him. He does that all on his own."
Aaron nodded and smiled faintly, then tilted his head at the door. "Are you coming in for a while, or do you and Andrew have plans?"
"We don't have plans, but we wouldn't want to impose if you do."
"Not much. Dave was thinking he might make dinner with Jack. Just something simple, but I think he's felt a little useless not being up to feeding me," he teased.
"With all those good Italian recipes? I'm sure he was." She laughed. "Would you like us to stay? Please, just tell me, Aaron. I need to know what you need from me right now. Whatever it is that Andrew and I can do to help you."
"Haley, there's not anything that I need right now. I wouldn't have offered if I didn't want you, but you don't have to stay if you'd rather go."
She sighed and studied him for a minute, then shook her head. "We'll stay," she said, and waved Andrew to come up to the house.
When they got inside, they found Dave and Jack already in the kitchen, pulling out pans and ingredients. "Spaghetti okay with everyone?" Dave asked, and when he got an affirmative, he shooed them out of the kitchen. "The masters need privacy to do our best work," he joked, which made Jack grin.
Aaron, Haley, and Andrew settled in the living room, where from time to time they could hear Dave answering a question or issuing instructions. At one point they heard Jack say, "Taste it yourself, then!" and after that there was a protracted silence.
Aaron glanced at Haley apologetically. "The radiation basically took away Dave's sense of taste," he explained. "It's been very hard on him. He's always loved cooking..."
Haley nodded in understanding, and Andrew actually touched Aaron's shoulder briefly before pulling away.
Finally dinner was ready, and Jack came out to call them all to dinner while Dave set the table. He had a streak of spaghetti sauce across one cheek.
Aaron grinned as they all headed to the table. "Dave teach you how to make Mama Rosa's meat sauce?"
Jack shook his head. "We made meatballs!" he announced. "With... that seedy stuff that tastes like sweet wood."
Dave laughed. "Rosemary," he said. He looked slightly uncomfortable, and Aaron just hoped he'd been able to taste enough (or have Jack taste enough) that their food was edible. He knew the recipe by heart, though.
"You'll turn Jack into a famous chef like his uncle," Andrew joked. "Then once he's famous and everyone's clamoring to eat at his restaurant, we can all retire."
Dave grinned.
"Why would you retire?" Jack asked.
"Because you'd take care of us, right? With all the money you'd be making?" Andrew made an exaggerated hopeful face.
Jack thought about this for a minute. "I think I'd spend my money on cars and music," he said. "Not you."
Dave snorted with laughter.
"But all our hopes and future rely on you," Aaron protested, but Jack just made a face. "What do you need more than one car for anyway?" he asked, grinning.
"Because they're cool!" Jack said, making car noises for a moment. "I think you should teach me how to drive."
"Oh Lord," Haley said, and rubbed a hand over her face.
"You're a little young for that yet," Dave said.
"If I can cook, why can't I drive?"
Dave raised an eyebrow. "Because your cooking can only kill your family, but your driving would endanger the public at large."
Andrew nearly choked on his drink laughing, and everyone else chuckled as Haley rubbed his back. Except for Jack, who was fiddling with his fork thoughtfully.
"Andy Malloney's dad lets him drive. he sits in his lap and turns the wheel while his dad works the pedals," Jack said, his voice pleading.
"And I'm not Andy Malloney's dad," Aaron said, amused in spite of how oddly old that made him feel.
"Anyway, your dad's in the habit of upholding the law, not breaking it," Dave pointed out. "We don't carry these badges around so we can do whatever we want, you know." He nudged Jack. "Besides, any old idiot can drive. Not any old idiot can cook."
"I think I'm offended," Aaron said, and Dave just gave him a smug look.
"But driving's cooler," Jack said.
"Wait 'til you meet some girl you like and tell her you can cook," Dave said, grinning. "Trust me when I say you'll think cooking's cooler then."
"Girls are stupid," Jack announced.
"Heeey," Haley said, and Jack laughed.
"You're not a girl," he told her.
Dave laughed. "That's definitely not the sort of thing you should ever say to a female," he told Jack. "And especially your mom."
"You'll be lucky if she doesn't box your ears," Andrew said, but he leaned over to Haley, smiling. "I still think you're a beautiful girl," he murmured, and kissed her.
"Ewwwwww!" Jack put his hands in his face, covering his eyes.
Aaron snorted. "You know," he said, looking at Haley. "I almost prefer this to what he's going to be like in a few years."
Andrew and Haley left shortly after dinner, and Jack sprawled on the couch with a book while Dave and Aaron sat in their respective chairs. Aaron couldn't help stealing happy glances at his son. He was pleased that Jack, though an active child, enjoyed reading too. After a while he noticed that Jack's book had slumped to his chest, and Jack appeared to be staring at the ceiling.
"Is it really gone?" Jack asked finally.
Aaron glanced at Dave, then back at Jack. "It wasn't after the surgery, but they're going to take a picture of Dave's brain when the treatments end, and we'll see. The doctor said it looks good, though."
"So are you still sick?" Jack looked at Dave. "You seem better."
Dave smiled at him. "Well, I feel pretty much better," he said. "I've got another week of treatment, and then I have to keep taking pills. But here in a couple weeks, when they take that picture, hopefully they'll tell me I'm not sick any more."
Jack nodded slowly, his expression thoughtful. "Daddy seems happier now." He glanced at Aaron.
Aaron nodded, partly wishing Jack hadn't noticed how worried and scared he was. He felt like he should have been stronger than that for his son. On the other hand, it was probably good that Jack did, in a way. He knew Jack must have been feeling the same way, and he needed to know it was okay to feel that way. "I am happier. I worry when my family is sick, and this is a bad sort of sick," he said. "But Dave is feeling better. So I feel better."
After a moment Jack got up and climbed into Aaron's lap. "I love you," he said, wrapping his arms around Aaron's neck. "You won't get sick too, will you? I want Dave to get better and you to not get sick."
Aaron smiled and petted Jack's hair. "Fortunately brain tumors aren't contagious." He kissed the top of Jack's head. "I love you too. Dave's the one you should be hugging, though," he said, and grinned, squeezing Jack tight for a moment.
Jack eyed Dave for a minute, then pulled away from Aaron and climbed in Dave's lap instead. Dave snorted but hugged him anyway. "Any other questions you need answered?" he asked, his voice gentler than usual.
"Does that hurt?" Jack asked, pointing to the spot where Dave's radiation had kept his hair from growing back.
"It's a little sore. Feels like a sunburn. But it doesn't really hurt hurt. I have some lotion I can put on it to help." Dave's expression was open; it occurred to Aaron that of all their friends and family, Jack might be easiest to deal with, simply because he was honest about his curiosity.
"Did they, like... shoot lasers into your head?" Jack asked, and Aaron barely held a laugh at how Jack sounded like he sort of thought that was a cool idea.
Dave grinned. "Kind of. I had to hold still, and they pointed a machine at my head." He brushed at the tiny dot they'd tattooed to direct the radiation. "See this? That's so they point it at the same place every time, instead of missing and hitting my spleen or something." He tapped Jack on the nose. "Don't get any crazy ideas, though. I'm not gonna turn into Spiderman with radioactive stuff."
"Aww," Jack said, and smiled. Then he sighed and the smile slipped off. He paused for a long moment, then said, "Is it gonna come back? Rashid at school said his uncle had cancer, and it kept coming back... and then he died."
Aaron's stomach dropped as Dave glanced at him. He opened his mouth, but Dave spoke first, in a low voice. "It could. That's what the radiation and the chemo are for, to try to keep it from coming back. So we hope it won't. But it might." He didn't look away from Jack as he answered.
Jack's eyes got a little glassy, but he didn't cry. Aaron watched as his jaw tensed instead, and saw himself in his son. "Rashid said his uncle got really sick. Will you get really sick if it comes back?"
Dave brushed his thumb against Jack's cheek and gave him a faint smile. "I might. I don't really know what happens if it comes back." He paused. "To tell you the truth, Jack, the idea of getting sick again scares me. But I try not to think about that too much, and to focus on getting better instead."
Jack nodded slowly, but didn't look much happier.
"We can't worry about that now," Aaron said quietly. "Now we have to enjoy that he feels better, because if he does get sick again, we will have wasted all the good time we had worrying." God, had... Don't speak in the past tense, he told himself.
Jack nodded again. "Mom said I need to help you out. She says I should do all my chores you give me and be good."
Dave's smile strengthened. "Well, there'll be time for basketball and games too. Did your dad tell you we had a basketball hoop put up in the back? Maybe Derek can come over and play with you."
Jack's lip twitched, then he smiled again. "I bet he's way better at it than Dad."
"Hey," Aaron complained. "I just have my strengths in different areas."
Dave chuckled. "Well, I'm no good at basketball, either. But you'll be able to keep in practice while you're here."
Jack smiled and hugged Dave. He must still want reassurance, because he didn't protest when Dave rubbed his back and rested his cheek against Jack's hair. Aaron wasn't sure which of them got more comfort from it. After a while he went back to reading, when no more conversation was forthcoming. He tried to lose himself in his novel, but every once in a while the question floated through his head: Will it come back? He always glanced over at Dave, reminding himself to enjoy the fact that Dave was feeling better.
The last time he looked over, Dave was looking back at him. Dave grinned faintly and nodded down at Jack, who was clearly asleep. Smiling back, Aaron got up and lifted Jack out of Dave's lap. "Time for bed, buddy," he said when Jack stirred in his arms. "Come on. You've got weeks and weeks to spend with Dave."
When he'd got Jack settled in bed, he returned to the living room and found Dave relocated to the couch. When he walked in, Dave looked up, his expression inviting.
"Hi, handsome," he murmured, settling next to Dave. He wrapped an arm around Dave and kissed his temple, just to the side of the spot Jack had asked about.
"Mmm, hi." Dave smiled and turned his head for a proper kiss. He stroked his fingers against Aaron's cheek. "Our son takes after you. Charming and good-looking, and always to the point."
Aaron laughed quietly. "He's ten. All ten year olds are to the point."
"Well, it's one of your many good qualities, so hopefully he'll hang onto it." Dave kissed along his jaw slowly. "I hope he's like you when he's older. You're a good man, Aaron."
"Mmm," Aaron hummed, and tilted his head to offer Dave more of his skin to kiss. "Did I do something to deserve the sudden praise?"
"You always deserve it," Dave murmured, his lips brushing Aaron's earlobe. "Seeing you and Jack together just got me thinking."
Aaron shivered at the breath in his ear and pulled Dave against him more. "He's stubborn too," he said, then grinned. "I think he got that from you."
Dave chuckled. "Yeah, because you've never been stubborn," he teased. He sucked lightly on Aaron's earlobe, one hand settling against his chest.
"Never," Aaron murmured. "If you keep doing this much longer, I won't be able to stop."
"Who said I was interested in you stopping?" Dave whispered. His mouth moved down Aaron's neck, nibbling lightly.
"God." Aaron slid his fingers into Dave's hair, arching a little into Dave's mouth. Their sex life was just starting to get back to normal now that Dave wasn't so tired anymore, and while it hadn't been a hardship, Aaron had missed this. "We should go to the bedroom."
"Mmm, don't want to traumatize Jack if he needs a drink of water, huh," Dave commented, and sucked lightly at Aaron's skin. "Guess you have a point." He pulled away slowly, with a tiny scrape of teeth, and then grinned at Aaron.
Aaron smiled back and stood, pulling Dave with him. They slowed outside the guest bedroom door, listening to see if Jack was up, then slipped quietly into the bedroom, where Aaron turned and kissed Dave soundly, his fingers sliding up under Dave's shirt.
Dave let out a soft groan, pressing into Aaron's touch. "God, I love you," he whispered, burying his hands in Aaron's hair. "You're so sexy. So strong."
"Need you," Aaron replied. He needed this after the questions Jack had asked. He slipped his hands around and started to unbutton Dave's shirt, then kissed down his neck. "I need you more than I can say."
"Good thing, since I need you too," Dave said. He arched his neck, one hand still in Aaron's hair and the other sliding down his back to cup his ass. "Perfect."
"Mmm," Aaron hummed, as he pushed Dave's shirt off his shoulders and bent to cover Dave's nipple with his mouth. "Love you." His fingers were already working on Dave's pants, wanting to be naked in bed with him as soon as possible.
Dave groaned again and his fingers slid around to tug at Aaron's shirt. "Keep talking to me," he murmured, nudging Aaron towards the bed.
Aaron smiled against Dave's skin. "You the most passionate person I know," he whispered, letting Dave tug his shirt off after unbuttoning the top two buttons. "I love your body."
Dave grunted. "Holes in my head and all?" he murmured. His fingers trailed down Aaron's chest to rest at his stomach. He brushed the skin tenderly, then undid Aaron's fly.
"Holes in your head," Aaron whispered. "New sexy tattoo." His words hit him suddenly, and he sucked in a breath. God, he needed to not let Jack's questions get to him. Aaron lifted his head and mouthed at Dave's neck, pulling Dave against him and concentrating on the way Dave's skin felt against his own.
"I love you," Dave said, holding him tightly and stroking fingers down his back. "I love how you treat me and how you need me." Aaron could hear the smile in Dave's voice. "And I definitely love your body." His fingers slid down and he squeezed Aaron's ass. "Bed," he murmured.
"Good idea," Aaron whispered. He kicked out of his pants, and climbed back onto the bed, reaching his hand out for Dave to follow.
Grinning, Dave followed suit, settling against Aaron and kissing him hungrily. His movements seemed so sure, so strong...if Aaron closed his eyes he could almost pretend this was all behind them...or that it had never happened at all. "Sexy," Dave breathed in his ear, twining a leg with Aaron's.
"God, I need you," Aaron whispered, sliding his fingers into Dave's hair. "So much." He trailed his fingers down Dave's hip, then tugged gently, wanting Dave's weight on him.
Dave was quick to oblige, rolling on top of him and kissing him again. Aaron could feel his cock growing harder against his hip. "Aaron," he breathed between kisses. "Love."
"Yes." Aaron's fingers were roaming Dave's back, squeezing his ass. He shifted, rocking his hips up against Dave, and they both groaned, a thrill shooting through Aaron. "Oh, please."
"God, you feel so good," Dave said, his lips against Aaron's jaw. "Don't think I'll last long." He bit gently at Aaron's skin, then sucked, soothing his tongue against it. "Need you."
"Have me," Aaron said, sliding his leg up the back of Dave's and letting Dave slip between his legs. "Fuck me."
Dave groaned and shifted against him, watching him heatedly. "Missed this," he mumbled against Aaron's lips. He reached to the nightstand for the lube, then swore as pill bottles clattered off it. Ignoring them, he tugged the drawer open and kissed Aaron hard.
That jerked Aaron back to reality for a moment, and he tried to force himself back into the moment, moaning into the kiss and pulling Dave's hips down against him harder. "Fuck me," he insisted, wanting to lose himself in this again.
"Shh, I am," Dave murmured, and shifted his hips against Aaron. "Not usually this impatient." He grinned at Aaron, slick fingers finding their way to his entrance. "So sexy."
Aaron let out a shaky breath and slid his leg a little higher over Dave's. "Yes," he whispered, as Dave's fingers circles the tight ring of muscle. He closed his eyes, letting himself focus on what his body was telling him instead of his mind, then drew in a little breath as Dave's finger slipped just inside of him. "So good, Dave. David," he breathed, then curled his hand around his cock.
Dave leaned in, breathing hard. "Love fucking you," he whispered in Aaron's ear. He must have decided Aaron needed distraction. "Unpeeling that tight control and watching you come apart. Pushing inside you and knowing those grunts and moans are all because of me. God, Aaron, you're so fucking gorgeous." His fingers worked deeper, rubbing at Aaron's prostate, as he spoke.
Aaron moaned, arching at the shock of need that shot through him. He stroked his fingertips up his shaft and through the come glistening at the head of his cock, then started stroking slowly. "More."
"God, yes," Dave groaned, rubbing a little more, then pulling back to slick his cock. "Want to be inside you. Want to have you arching and writhing under me and telling me to take you harder." He nipped at Aaron's mouth. "Want you so much." He pressed inside, a low noise of desire escaping him.
Aaron arched under him, gasping softly and loving the feel of Dave filling him, I reminder that they were both very much well, healthy. "Gg-- Love you," he panted, his hand moving faster over himself as Dave started to move.
"Yes, yes," Dave murmured, his mouth growing urgent against Aaron's. His arm slid under Aaron's hips, pulling them closer as he thrust into his lover.
Aaron ran his nose along Dave's jaw, panting against Dave's neck as Dave moved against him. "Oh, God." He licked a stripe across Dave's neck, and Dave thrust harder in response, making Aaron let out a louder moan. He sucked in a sharp breath and bit his lip, remembering they weren't alone.
Dave chuckled. "You'll wake up Jack." He leaned in to kiss Aaron. "Let's play a game to see who can be quieter," he teased.
Aaron hummed an amused noise, smiling lazily up at Dave. "Feel good inside me," he murmured, and moved the hand around his cock to Dave's hip. "Touch me."
"Sexy," Dave gasped. "Love touching you." He curled his fingers around Aaron, stroking firmly. "Love bringing you pleasure." He kissed Aaron slowly. "Love you so much." He settled into more of a rhythm, trying to match his strokes with his thrusts.
Aaron made a strangled noise, then forced himself to quiet, whimpering and curling his fingers into Dave's skin. He whispered Dave's name, rocking his hips, both into Dave's fingers and onto Dave's cock, panting as Dave got his body singing.
He was whispering things in Aaron's ear as they moved together, their bodies falling easily back into long-accustomed rhythms. Aaron didn't really pay attention to the words; instead he lost himself in the feel of Dave against him. Dave's arms held him tightly, pulling their bodies together. Dave's words grew more urgent, his thrusts more ragged, and then Dave was coming, his breath harsh against Aaron's neck.
Aaron moaned quietly, holding Dave close and stroking his hand over Dave's back as Dave's hand stilled. e turned his head and kissed Dave's temple.
"God," Dave whispered, shifting against him. "So good." He pulled his weight away and started moving his hand again, stroking harder than before. "Love this. Love you."
"Nnghh," Aaron panted, his breath catching as his overheated nerves were worked up again. "Dave, please... please suck me."
"God, yes," Dave grinned at him and slid down his body, dropping kisses on his collarbone, his chest, his stomach, and finally taking Aaron's cock in deep. He sucked hard, his gaze turning up to Aaron's face. His hand slid down between Aaron's legs, cupping his balls and rolling gently.
Aaron's heart was beating hard against his ribcage, and he slid his fingers into Dave's hair. He wasn't going to last long, and he held a moan but couldn't stop the resulting whimper. His hand rode the top of Dave's head as he moved, and Aaron ignored the shorter patch of hair as his orgasm built, then finally overtook him.
Dave groaned quietly as he swallowed Aaron's release. His hand stroked up to rest on Aaron's stomach. As soon as Aaron had finished, Dave pulled back, smiling at him. "God, you're gorgeous."
Aaron hummed and almost-laugh and tugged at Dave gently. "C'mere."
"Mmm." Dave's smile widened into a grin and he moved up the bed to kiss Aaron hungrily. "Love you."
"I love you," Aaron replied, then kissed Dave again. He rolled them so that Dave was on his back, then curled up at Dave's side, draping his arm over Dave's chest, making a contented noise once he settled.
Dave's arms went tightly around him, holding him close. One hand rubbed up and down Aaron's arm. He turned his head and kissed Aaron's temple. "You're everything to me," he murmured.
Aaron sucked in a slow breath. "God, Dave," he murmured. "It's mutual." He kissed Dave's chest, still slightly damp from sweat. "You can't leave me; I'll never find anyone else that can fuck me like that."
Dave laughed and tightened his arms briefly. "Don't worry, I'm in for the long haul." He kissed Aaron's hair. "After all, you're the only person I ever let fuck me." He relaxed slightly, but still kept his arms around Aaron. "Ah, my life is so good."
Aaron smiled and kissed Dave's jaw, and snuggled closer. Let's keep it that way, he thought, and closed his eyes.
***
Dave had no real desire to get up early the next day, but he felt it was important to see Aaron off for his first day returning to work. Dave had promised that he and Jack would stop by to have lunch with him and pick up some case files for consultation. He got up and made omelets and coffee for breakfast, since that was something he could manage without needing to taste it. While Aaron was still in the shower and Dave was still breaking eggs, Jack wandered out, yawning and tousled, and poured himself a glass of orange juice.
They ate breakfast together, which was odd, but nice. Then Aaron kissed Jack and Dave goodbye.
"Try to stay out of trouble, you two," he admonished, looking at them both with raised eyebrows.
Dave grinned. "I think we can manage it, Aaron," he said, and kissed him once more.
"Eww!" said Jack.
Aaron laughed and headed to work, and Dave got in the shower to get ready for radiation.
"You won't have any trouble reading for twenty minutes during my treatment, right?" he asked Jack for the third time as he parked outside the clinic. "I don't think kids are supposed to be left 'unattended' in the waiting room, but you're a tall guy, you can probably pass for fourteen or so if you're quiet and keep to yourself."
Jack grinned at him. "I think I can manage it, Dave," he teased, echoing his words back at him. Dave laughed and ruffled his hair, then led the suddenly-scowling boy into the clinic.
He traded banter with the girls at the reception desk, explaining that his son was going to be waiting on him. They were all impressed with his having a son, though the more astute nurse commented on how much Jack resembled Aaron. The radiation team teased him about being grateful they only had a few more days of putting up with him, and he grumbled back at them about how they'd fried his brain. They congratulated him for heading back to work, even part-time, and then he was free and picking up Jack on his way to the car.
They got deli sandwiches and potato salad on their way to Quantico, and then they were stepping out of the elevator at the BAU.
"Hey, my man," Morgan greeted when they walked into the bullpen, grinning at Jack. "How's your head?"
Jack laughed. "It's Dave's head, dork."
"Don't call him a dork, dork," Emily piped up from her desk, her expression amused.
"I'm not a dork!" Jack protested. He went over to hang on Derek's desk. "Dave and Dad put in a basketball hoop in the back yard so I can keep practicing while I'm here."
"Hey, that's cool," Derek said. "So is Dave keeping you busy with that?"
Dave laughed. "I actually played a little bit of football when I was younger, but I've never been much for basketball, especially now."
It was then that he glanced up to see that Spencer had stood up, but was just sort of hovering, watching them. When Dave met his eye, he made a little self-deprecating face, and glanced down, but then he looked right back up. "Are your treatments over?" he asked, as Jack, Derek and Emily chatted.
"Not entirely," Dave said. "This is my last week of radiation, and then I'll have chemo to finish up after that. But I'm feeling a lot better." He grinned at Spencer. "I'm actually going to be doing some paper consultations, though I'm mostly going to work on them at home." He draped an arm around Spencer's shoulders and squeezed gently. "So much for your assertion that I wouldn't be back," he teased.
"But you're not back," Spencer said, his shoulders tensing a little.
Dave squeezed again, then took pity on him and let his arm fall. "I'll be back soon. Sometimes the chemo pills do make me a little sick, but mostly it's the radiation that's been fatiguing. I've finally gotten used to that, which is why I'm starting out with consults. But I'll be back for real before you know it." He grinned. "Whenever we get sick of Jack and send him home."
"Heeeeyyy!" Jack protested, but he grinned at Dave, then went back to talking to the others.
Spencer smiled faintly at Jack, then looked back at Dave. "When do they do the MRI to see if it's gone?"
"Three weeks from now," Dave said. "It's going to be fine, Spence. It's true that I'm still having occasional memory lapses, but generally speaking, I feel good." He smiled. "Maybe you can keep me company when Derek comes out to play ball with Jack."
Spencer's smile widened. "Yeah," he said, then glanced at the bag in Dave's hand. "You feeding all of us?"
Dave coughed. "Uh...Sure, you can have Jack's sandwich." Then he grinned and opened the bag. "Actually yeah. Hope you haven't changed the way you eat turkey sandwiches in the past two months."
Spencer was grinning now, and he shook his head. "Extra pickles and mayonnaise, no lettuce," he confirmed.
"Excellent, then you don't have to starve," Dave teased. "I'm gonna go grab Hotch. We could eat in the roundtable room." He gave the bag to Spencer, then headed up to Hotch's office, where he tapped on the doorframe, then stepped inside.
Aaron glanced up, the scowl on his face instantly disappearing. "Hey," he said. "Jack didn't get you in any trouble at the hospital, did he?"
Dave smiled warmly at him. "Nah, he was great. Bobbi knew he was yours the minute she laid eyes on him. He's gonna be an exceptionally handsome fellow when he grows up." He tilted his head towards the bullpen. "We brought lunch. Come eat with everyone?"
Aaron glanced sown at the papers on his desk, hesitating, then he sighed and pushed them all into a file folder. For a moment, Dave wondered if Aaron was going to insist on taking them with him, but then he said, "Quickly," and stood.
Dave shook his head and stole a kiss before they left Aaron's office. "You can't solve all the cases on your first day back," he murmured, leading the way to the roundtable room. Jack was seated between Emily and Spencer, chattering happily away at Spencer about his math class. Spencer, to his credit, looked interested. He started explaining something to Jack as Dave and Aaron joined the rest of the team.
"I hope I remembered everything right," Dave said, sitting down and looking for his turkey and ham on rye. He grinned as he got a chorus of agreement. At least he'd remembered something worth knowing.
They caught up on Dave's treatment and exchanged current personal news for a while, then Dave asked if anyone had case consultations they wanted to pass off to him. He didn't want too many, but he thought he could consult on several cases a week, at least.
Jack sighed. "Are you gonna work the whole time I'm here?" he asked. Sometimes when Jack said things like that, it reminded Dave about how Aaron said his marriage with Haley was in the last year of it.
"Of course not, dork," Dave replied, grinning at him. "But I have to have something to do while you're shooting hoops and playing that video game you brought with you, or else I'll get bored."
"You do realize how ridiculous the word 'dork' sounds when you say it, right?" Aaron asked, and everyone laughed but Dave, who gave him a mock scowl.
"That's right, everyone pick on Dave while they can," he replied, which he knew was severely lacking in bite. "You'll miss me on your next case when you want my opinion and I'm not answering your calls."
"You just said you wouldn't anyway," Jack pointed out. "Because you're not working the whole time I'm here."
Dave raised his eyebrows. "Got me there, buddy."
Emily grinned. "He does have a point, though," she said, gesturing at Aaron. "People over fifty shouldn't say it."
"It's the rules," Aaron said dryly, eating his sandwich.
"It's true. I only have another few years," she said, then made a face. "Oh, God."
"You're that old?!" Jack asked.
Dave burst out laughing. "Let me give you a piece of advice, Jack. Don't ever say those words to a girl. There's no way it won't end in tears. Probably yours, when she kicks your--ah, butt."
Emily snorted and flung a piece of her lettuce at Jack. Derek grinned. "You are gonna have to be schooled, Jack," he said.
"Not by you," Spencer piped up, eyeing Morgan.
"No kidding," Dave said, snickering. "I vote we let Emily school him." He glanced at Jack. "You do know Emily carries a gun, right?" he teased.
Jack stuck his tongue out at Dave, then went back to eating, though he had a hard time considering how hard he was giggling suddenly. He raised his eyebrows after he swallowed, and looked at Emily. "You could teach me how to shoot one!" he said, sounding excited, and Dave saw Aaron's gaze snap to his son.
"Jack," he said, his tone reproachful.
Oops, Dave thought. "Not the best idea, kiddo," he said. "Your mom might never let you visit us again if she found out you were driving and shooting guns. Let's stick with cooking, okay?"
"Driving? Do I want to know?" Spencer said.
"Jimmy Malloney's dad let's him drive," Aaron said, giving Spencer a flat look.
Spencer lifted his eyebrows and nodded, as Jack corrected, "Andy Malloney."
"Might as well call him Jailbird Malloney if we ever catch him driving," Dave said, and took another bite of his sandwich.
Morgan grinned. "See what you got to look forward to with Henry?" he teased Spencer.
"Wonderful," Spencer said, rolling his eyes, in spite of the fact that everyone knew Henry adored Spencer (and Spencer adored him, even if he was still learning how to deal with kids as he went).
"But you guys get to do all that stuff," Jack protested, frowning.
"We're adults, Jack. Guns are not toys," Aaron said, his voice more firm this time, his gaze very serious.
"Anyway, we all had to go through eleven weeks of Academy training before they let us do any of that," Dave said. "Did you know that while you're learning to be an FBI agent, you have to carry a play gun on your belt?"
Jack made a face. "That's stupid."
"Exactly." Aaron was frowning now, just faintly, and Dave slid his leg over to brush their ankles together.
"You know, Jack, it's a lot cooler to use your brains instead of physical strength, anyway," Derek said. Dave took a sip of his drink to hide a grin as Spencer's gaze went to Derek's face. Oblivious--or at least acting like it--Derek continued, "Anyone can throw a punch or shoot a gun. It's a lot more special if you can think your way out of a problem and talk other people through it."
Jack hummed, not sounding convinced. "That's boring."
"No more action movies for the rest of your life," Aaron announced, and Jack's jaw dropped.
"Heeeeeeeey!"
Aaron snorted, and barely repressed a sudden smile, but Spencer spoke next. "Actually, they've done studies on media and violent crime, and determined that while violent images can sometimes increase violent tendencies in the short run, it actually reduces the overall amount of violent crime directly after viewing, because it acts as a sort of substitute, and takes up time the offender might normally spend pursuing more dangerous activities."
Everyone had turned to look at Spencer, and after a moment, Jack laughed. "You're weird."
"Ah, thanks," Spencer said.
Dave raised his eyebrows. "You know, I wouldn't call Spencer weird if I were you, Jack, since he was just sticking up for you, in his own way."
"I guess so," Jack muttered. He slumped and took another bite of his sandwich, and Dave was amused at how Jack and Spencer were suddenly mirroring each other.
All too soon for Dave's pleasure, they were finished eating and Aaron stood, inviting Jack to walk back to his office with him. That meant Dave would have to get out of the way soon and head home. He knew he wasn't ready to come back to work full time, but it had been nice just to see the team and look around the bullpen.
It must be a measure of how much improved he seemed that he got handshakes from everyone instead of hugs. When Spencer tried to pull away, Dave gripped his hand tighter for a second. "Come to my office with me while I pick up a few things," he said, releasing him.
Spencer's eyebrows lifted, but then he nodded and followed Dave. "Ah... is this an 'I should shut the door' type of meeting?" he asked, once they were inside.
Dave gave him a half smile. "You can if you want, but really I just haven't seen enough of you lately. How are you doing, Spence?"
Spencer shrugged. He'd grown into himself a lot in the last several years, but he still sometimes seemed like he didn't know how to talk about himself. "I'm okay," he said. "Nothing's changed for me, really."
"Nothing's changed? How's your mom? Have you been seeing anyone in the past two months? Found some new music you like? Started a new degree?" Dave sat at his desk and pulled open a drawer, looking for some of the forms he would need to take home.
"Mmm, no. I haven't decided what's next," Spencer said, sitting in the chair across from Dave's desk. Dave had lost track of how many degrees Spencer had now, and Spencer had slowed down in the last few years, but showed no signs of stopping. "Maybe sculpture," he said, and Dave's gaze snapped up to see Spencer's smile was teasing. He shrugged. "Not seeing anyone, not that that's anything different. Mom's the same as usual."
Dave nodded. "You're not getting bored here, are you?" he asked. Since coming back to the BAU and meeting Spencer, Dave had lived half in fear and half in expectation that Spencer would eventually need something else to challenge himself. Dave had done it himself, after all, even if he'd always come back to this.
Spencer shifted, then shrugged again. "I don't know." He rubbed his forehead. "I don't want to leave everyone."
"You know, not everyone leaves like Gideon did," Dave said, pausing and looking up at Spencer. "And not everyone leaves like I did. After all, I kept in touch with Aaron when I left to pursue a writing career. If you decided to do something else, you wouldn't lose the people you care about." Then he chuckled. "What am I doing? I don't want you going anywhere, anyway."
Spencer breathed a laugh. "I have a pretty good track record of losing people," he said, then he immediately switched topics, like he'd decided he didn't want to talk about that. "I'm not leaving. What would they do with two men down?"
"Well. Good," Dave said, though he wasn't sure what to make of Spencer's answer. "What have you been doing with two men down?" he teased, and darted a glance at Spencer. "Derek would be miserable if you left, anyway."
Spencer gave Dave an odd look, then shook his head. "I'm sure he's heard enough physics jokes and Star Wars trivia to last him a lifetime."
Dave snorted and shook his head. "You're more than just physics jokes and trivia, Spencer. And he'd be the first to say so. Trust me on that." He smiled and pulled out the last of his supplies. "Promise you'll come out to the house when Derek comes to hang out with Jack. I miss seeing you."
Spencer smiled, and got up when Dave did. "Yeah, okay," he said. "I, ah... I miss you too." Spencer cleared his throat, then ran a hand through his hair awkwardly.
Dave nodded, then subjected Spencer to a hug, just because. "Good. You're one of the most important people in my life." He pulled back and grinned crookedly at him. "I'm working on saying that, you know, when I don't think I'm about to die."
Spencer's expression changed, somewhere between surprise, confusion, and maybe a little bit of nausea from Dave bringing it up. "Why?" Spencer asked, then shook his head and clarified. "The, ah, important part, not why you're telling me." He looked down, looking like he wasn't sure he was supposed to ask.
Dave tilted his head. "Why are you important to me?" he asked, smiling. "Because I like you. You're fun and interesting to be around. Not to mention I learn from you all the time." He shook his head slightly, still smiling. "Sometimes it amazes me that you don't seem to realize your own worth."
Spencer laughed. "It's not that," he said, then shook his head. "Nevermind."
"No, no 'nevermind' allowed," Dave said, eyeing him. "What is it, then?"
Spencer tilted his head. "I think I have a different opinion of what my 'worth' is than you do," he explained.
Dave shook his head, smiling faintly. "Well, you're gonna have to work on that. Because everyone here feels the way I do."
Spencer nodded slowly, and matched Dave's smile. "I think it's pretty ingrained. It's sort of funny. I learn new things all the time, but I can't relearn how to think differently about myself, even if I understand the psychological reasons for it." He shrugged.
Dave chuckled. "And that's one thing I don't know how to help with, because...face it, confidence is something I've never had a problem with." He patted Spencer's shoulder and headed for the door.
"I would have never guessed," Spencer said dryly.
"I know, I'm so good at acting humble," Dave said, straight-faced. Then he grinned at Spencer. "I'll see you again soon." He caught sight of Jack hanging out at Derek's desk again and corralled him on the way out.
"Come on, kiddo. Let's go get some ice cream."
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Date: 2009-09-22 03:46 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-09-23 12:58 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-09-27 07:20 pm (UTC)Random, I know it was in an earlier chapter, but loved the littler reference to Rossi wanting to write a book about Zoe.
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Date: 2009-09-28 12:38 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-09-28 11:58 pm (UTC)