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geekystudmuffinTitle: Weathering the World
Authors:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
innerslytherin & severity_softly
Fandom: The 100
Pairing/Characters: Jasper/Bellamy, Monty, Octavia, Lincoln, Raven
Rating: R (for violence/blood, lots of drunkenness, and language)
WC: ~43,400
Notes: Set immediately after the season two finale, "Blood Must Have Blood: Part 2". Inspired in part by Jasper spoilers in this article for the season three premiere. Also, we realize we're posting this just the day before the season three premiere, so it will very likely be AU very quickly. Read fast! ;)
Summary: After Maya's death, Jasper becomes reckless… But Bellamy refuses to let him destroy himself.
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4
Bellamy had hoped he would sleep soundly the night after he and Jasper ventured back into the woods. After all, he'd saved Jasper the first time, and this time, neither of them had been hurt. They'd gone out, proven to themselves they could do it, and come back unharmed. So he was supposed to feel better, and as a result, sleep better.
Unfortunately, his subconscious hadn't gotten the message.
He jerked awake, slicked with sweat and panting. He pressed his fingers against his eyelids, wishing he could wipe away the image of Maya's burned face--or Jasper's blood-covered one. With a deep sigh, he sat up.
Only then did he realize it was nearly dawn. He'd made it most of the night. Maybe things were getting better.
Instead of trying to sleep again, he washed and found Lincoln, issuing a casual invitation to breakfast. To his surprise, Lincoln agreed.
They were halfway through their breakfast when he saw Monty and Jasper straggling into the mess hall. Grinning, Bellamy waved them over.
To his surprise, Monty smiled, but Jasper's smile was even brighter. It tugged at Bellamy's heart.
The other two made their way over, and settled at the table, Monty next to Bellamy and Jasper next to Lincoln.
"It's too early," Monty mumbled, and Jasper hid a smile. He'd obviously had a better night's sleep.
"Hey, Lincoln," he managed, shoving food into his mouth. "Where's Octavia?"
Lincoln glanced up from his plate. "She's still asleep."
He didn't say any more than that, but Bellamy had to take a deep breath and look away for a second. He liked Lincoln. Lincoln was a good guy. He made Octavia happy.
Bellamy shoved some food into his mouth so he wouldn't say anything stupid. When he swallowed, he said, "Come on, Jasper, Lincoln's his own person."
From the tiny curl of Lincoln's lips, Bellamy thought he'd managed to keep his tone teasing and good-natured. Good, he was doing good.
Jasper's grin faltered, then he looked at Bellamy. "I didn't mean that," he said, then turned to Lincoln. "How are you?"
Bellamy extended a foot and nudged Jasper's ankle, ignoring whatever Lincoln said. He hadn't meant to be mean to Jasper, even if he was still coming to terms with the idea of his baby sister having a boyfriend. A partner. Whatever you called Lincoln and Octavia.
He shoved more food in his mouth, then realized Lincoln had said something to him. Bellamy gave him a blank look.
Lincoln snorted. "And I can tell Bellamy didn't get enough sleep either," he said to Monty and Jasper.
"Sorry," Bell muttered.
Lincoln shook his head. "How's your recovery going?" he asked Jasper.
"I'm fine," Jasper said. He turned and levelled a gaze at Lincoln, something slightly mischievous flitting across his face. "Knock, knock," he said, darting a look at Bell then back at Lincoln.
Bell blinked in surprise, then suppressed a grin. He glanced over at Lincoln, who was staring at Jasper with a sort of stoic confusion on his face. He obviously didn't know that was the beginning of an old Earth joke, but somehow, Bell didn't imagine him asking what it meant.
"Who's there?" Bell asked. Maybe if he and Jasper demonstrated one, Lincoln would get it without them having to try to explain what was, admittedly, kind of stupid humor.
Jasper snorted, then looked at Bellamy, looking too amused. "Banana," he said.
Bellamy let his grin escape. "Banana who?" He glanced at Lincoln, who was looking at him as if he were speaking a foreign language.
"Knock, knock," Jasper repeated.
"Who's there?"
"Banana."
"Banana who?"
"Knock, knock."
"Who's there?" Bellamy realized Monty was also looking at them as if they'd gone crazy. Oh well. It felt good to be stupid with Jasper. Really good.
"Banana," Jasper said, looking stupidly happy, even if he was darting weird glances at Lincoln.
Bellamy started snickering. He'd never expected to see Monty and Lincoln wearing matching expressions, but they were pretty damn close. "Banana who?" Really, this probably wasn't the best knock knock joke to start a guy on.
Jasper's eyes were glinting with humor, though, and it was so enticing. "Knock, knock," he repeated.
Bellamy laughed. "Who's there?" He held Jasper's gaze and admitted to himself that this joke was going to be entirely lost on Lincoln. But he didn't care. It was worth it to see that happiness in Jasper's eyes.
"Orange," Jasper said, the gleam in his eyes unmistakeable. It was the expression of someone so pleased with the situation they were in, it didn't matter no one else but Bellamy was playing along.
Bellamy fed him the line. He probably would have gone along even if Jasper had thrown in a few extra bananas. There was no way he was going to be the one to end this. "Orange who?"
"Orange you glad I didn't say banana?" Jasper asked, then tried, unsuccessfully, to hide his laughter in his elbow.
Bellamy laughed, watching Jasper. It was stupid and fantastic, even though Monty and Lincoln had both written them off as idiots.
Jasper laughed too, then shoved an elbow at Monty. "C'mon, Monty. You know that one."
Monty let out a breath of a laugh, then eyed Jasper. "It's the dumbest one we know."
"Which makes it the funniest," Jasper countered. He nudged Monty again then Monty made a doubtful look.
"That was…" Lincoln still looked confused. "A joke?"
"Old Earth joke," Bellamy said, still chuckling. "I guess knock-knock jokes didn't survive down here, huh?" Lincoln raised a single eyebrow, which Bell took as confirmation. "So tell us a Grounder joke," he suggested.
Lincoln blinked. "Three men walk into a bar. The fourth one ducks."
Bellamy stared at him for a second, then burst out laughing.
It took a few beats before Jasper and Monty started laughing too.
"You should tell more jokes," Jasper panted, trying to catch his breath. There must have been something about Lincoln's deadpan delivery to get Jasper.
Lincoln's lips curved in a tiny, satisfied smile. "Not much call for jokes lately." He finished his breakfast and stood up. "Need to go work out."
Bellamy stood too. "Mind if we join you?" he asked, his voice casual. "Jasper and I took a sword from the Grounders the other day, but I don't know what to do with it, except maybe swing it and hope the pointy end goes somewhere that'll hurt."
Lincoln snorted. "Not a very effective technique," he said. "You might as well join in. I could give Monty a sword to use."
Bellamy glanced at Jasper, then they both turned to look at Monty, who held up both hands in refusal. "Don't look at me. These are the hands of a scientist. They weren't made for holding weapons."
Bell grinned. Monty didn't sound like he suspected anything more than curiosity on his part. He and Jasper grabbed their swords and followed Lincoln to where he usually worked out. He only showed them a couple of moves and made them practice the moves against each other over and over until they were both sweaty and Bellamy's sword arm ached. Octavia joined them part way through, and she watched, her eyebrows raised and her arms folded, for a long while before sparring with Lincoln.
Finally Lincoln said they'd done enough for the day. "Come back tomorrow, I'll show you the next step," he promised.
Octavia followed Bellamy as he headed to get a drink of water. "So now you're hanging out with Lincoln?" she asked.
Bell glanced at her. "You were pretty heavy-handed in hinting I should," he said. "I figured if I asked him for sword lessons, he wouldn't realize you put me up to it."
"He's not stupid," Octavia said.
"I never said he was," Bell replied. "Look, O, I know he and I had a rocky start. But any guy you fell for was going to have a rocky start with me. So now I'm trying harder, okay? I just...looked for some common ground where he and I could meet."
"And you brought Jasper along with you."
He shrugged. "Jasper needs something to focus on."
"And you like him." Her tone was a little too smug for Bell's comfort. Thank God Jasper had stayed to teach Lincoln more knock-knock jokes.
"Sure, I like him. He saved your life."
"Not what I meant, big brother."
Bell shrugged again. "Doesn't matter." He was done with this conversation. Why were the women in his life so good at seeing through him?
She sighed. "Okay, fine. See you later."
***
For the next week, Jasper and Bellamy had breakfast with Monty and Lincoln, and sometimes Octavia, and then they learned how to use swords. During the day, they sneaked out of the camp to look for Emerson. They didn't find any more prints or clues for several days, but on the sixth day, just as Jasper was tempted to start griping at Bellamy for making him turn back that first day, they found something.
Jasper froze, eying the tree in front of him while his hand slid back and grasped the hilt of his sword. He was feeling much more confident with it after Lincoln's lessons than he had when he'd pulled a sword on Dante Wallace at Mount Weather.
"Look," he said, moving closer and reaching out to touch the spot on the tree where bark had been cut and broken off, as if someone had swung a blade at it. He dropped his eyes to the ground to see if there were any more signs of a struggle.
Bellamy stood next to him, his shoulder brushing Jasper's. "Well spotted," he said, and joined Jasper in scanning the ground. "Here," he said after a moment. "Blood." He moved over to the spot. "There's another. I think we've got a blood trail. You think it's Grounders, or our guy?"
"Who knows," Jasper said, lowering his voice as he drew his sword. He glanced at Bellamy, watching his strong, broad shoulders as Bellamy started following the trail. Jasper stepped in behind him a moment later.
It was just a few drops at first, but then there started to be more and more of it. "Someone's hurt," he murmured. "Or dead," he added as Bellamy froze. Looking around him, Jasper saw a body lying on the ground.
Bellamy reached back without looking at Jasper. His hand brushed Jasper's chest in a "stay there" motion, and then Bellamy crept forward. It was definitely a Grounder, Jasper saw, and then he realized Bellamy had wanted him to watch his back. He jerked his gaze away.
"C'mere," Bellamy murmured after a moment. "Dead Grounder."
Jasper started toward him. In the distance, there was a rustling of leaves, then someone grunted. Jasper darted ahead of Bellamy a few feet, toward the noise, then pressed himself to a tree and peeked around it to see if he could get a look at what was happening without being seen.
A man slumped against a tree, his back to Jasper. He was wearing the tan uniform of Mount Weather. Jasper's heart jolted into overdrive. Emerson.
He didn't hear Bellamy coming, but after a moment, a hand closed lightly on his shoulder. Bellamy came up next to him. Jasper could feel Bellamy's eyes on him and knew Bellamy was waiting for Jasper to take the lead.
Suddenly, Jasper didn't know what to do. Should he just attack Emerson? After a moment, he decided they needed information. Was Emerson working alone? And what was he trying to do by killing Grounders?
Jasper glanced at Bellamy, who gave him a nod, and then stepped out from where they were hidden, lifting his sword. "Emerson," he said, willing his voice to be calm, though his heart was racing.
The man jerked and spun, his movement slower than Jasper had expected. The Grounder must have wounded Emerson in their fight. Good.
"You," Emerson rasped. And then his eyes widened. He must have seen Bellamy behind Jasper. "Damn you," he growled, and lunged at them.
Bellamy circled around to the right as Jasper raised his blade to block Emerson's swing. It was weird that Emerson wasn't using a gun. Maybe he'd lost it in the fight with the Grounder. Bellamy had brought his gun, but he wouldn't use it yet, Jasper knew. They didn't want to make too much noise.
Jasper dodged to the side when Emerson swung again and then staggered. He was definitely hurt. Jasper darted forward and used Emerson's own momentum to shove him hard against a tree, pressing his blade to Emerson's neck. "Damn us?" Jasper panted, forgetting for the moment that he wanted answers. "You're the reason my girlfriend is dead!"
"Your girlfriend was a traitor to her people," Emerson snarled. "She deserved what she got." He brought his knee up into Jasper's groin.
Jasper doubled over, gasping in pain. Before Emerson could take advantage of it, Bellamy was there, his sword blocking Emerson's knife with the clash of steel.
"His girlfriend was the only decent person in your whole fucking mountain," Bellamy said. "She might have betrayed you, but you'd already betrayed the entire human race with what you were doing. You people were cannibals."
Jasper managed to catch his breath and straighten again, watching Bellamy and Emerson struggle. The side of Emerson's shirt was soaked in blood. Bellamy shoved at Emerson, and he stumbled back, but then swung again and caught Bellamy's shoulder.
Bellamy cried out, and Jasper lunged in, planting a fist into Emerson's face, because Bellamy was too close for him to use his sword. Emerson hit the ground, and Jasper climbed onto him, fighting for the hand that held his knife, while jamming the hilt of his sword into the wound on Emerson's side. It ripped a scream from Emerson.
"What are you doing out here?" Jasper demanded. "Why are you killing Grounders?"
Emerson panted, his eyes blazing with hatred. "Go to hell." He twisted his hips, bucking to throw Jasper off. Jasper went with it, because he didn't think his crotch could take another hit. Rolling away from Emerson, Jasper got his head up in time to see the Mountain Man pull himself to his feet.
Emerson was clearly weakening. He held onto a tree trunk and just had time to brace himself before Bellamy hit him. Bellamy used the pommel strike Lincoln had taught them that morning, but Emerson managed to block it, just barely. Bellamy pressed in, grappling with him, then Emerson head-butted him. Bellamy let out a cry of pain, stumbling back, blood streaming from a cut over his eye.
A jolt of renewed anger hit Jasper at the sight of Bellamy bleeding. Jasper tackled Emerson again, his arms going around Emerson's waist as they toppled, then rolled, then struggled for dominance. Jasper got in another good punch to Emerson's face, his fist still gripping the hilt of his blade, and Emerson went a little slack. It was like he was fighting a loss of consciousness.
Jasper took the opportunity to drive his blade into Emerson's wrist. It pierced all the way through and pinned Emerson's hand to the ground, forcing him to release his own weapon as he cried out in pain.
"Talk, or I'll fucking kill you!" Jasper demanded.
Emerson deserved to die, Jasper reminded himself.
"The Grounders just got in my way," Emerson gritted out. "I was coming for him--" He nodded his head at Bellamy. "--and Clarke. And you. All of you. You fucked everything up." His face was very white, his lips almost colorless. He'd lost a lot of blood, Jasper realized.
Uneven footsteps approached and Bellamy's hand closed on Jasper's shoulder. Bellamy held his sword to Emerson's throat, helping ensure he wouldn't get away.
"Don't." Bellamy's voice was rough. "Don't torture him. Just kill him. Trust me."
"Are there more of you?" Jasper panted, his eyes wild on Emerson's face.
Emerson bared his teeth. "Of course not. Your bitch killed them all. We'd barely begun treatment." He was shaking, his breathing irregular.
Bellamy's hand tightened slightly on Jasper's shoulder.
Jasper yanked the blade out of Emerson's wrist, then turned it and drove it through the side of Emerson's neck with enough force that it shoved through almost to the hilt, and Jasper felt hot blood gushing over his hand.
Emerson made a gurgling sound, and spasmed, but the blood rushed out of him, and it didn't take long for Emerson to go completely still, his eyes staring at Jasper, but not seeing him anymore.
And then suddenly Jasper couldn't catch his breath. And he couldn't look away from Emerson's blank face, even as the blood flowing over his hand started to slow.
At some point, he realized both of Bellamy's hands were holding his shoulders. He could just barely hear Bellamy saying his name, over the strange rushing of blood in his ears.
"Jasper," Bellamy said again, his hands squeezing his shoulders. "Jasper."
Finally, he drew in a long shaky breath and lifted his gaze, staring blankly into the woods. He felt stunned. And his stomach was sinking rapidly, because he'd thought this would make things right. Make things feel better. But he just felt numb.
"I'm fine," he mumbled, then pulled the blade out of Emerson, letting it rip through the front of Emerson's throat, rather than withdrawing it the way it had gone in.
Bellamy drew in a ragged breath behind him, but he squeezed once more and let go. "You sure?" he asked. His voice sounded muffled, like he was rubbing his hands over his face.
"Yeah," Jasper lied.
He spared another look at Emerson, his eyes running over the man's destroyed neck, then forced himself to his feet, not feeling anything.
He drew another stabilizing breath, then turned to look at Bellamy. And emotion flooded him again.
Bellamy's face and arm were streaked with blood, and he looked shaken. Jasper closed the distance between them and pressed his hands to Bellamy's cheeks, ghosting his fingers toward the gash on his forehead, but stopping short of actually touching the wound.
"God, Bell," he whispered, heart aching. "We need to get you back. You're hurt."
Bellamy made a strangled noise. Jasper couldn't decide if it was a choked off laugh or a choked off sob. Or maybe both. After a moment, Bellamy's lips wavered into a hint of a smile. "Shoulder doesn't hurt as bad as my face."
His face might hurt more, but Jasper wasn't sure which was bleeding more. Bellamy had gone pale under his tan complexion.
"Jasper," Bellamy said softly. "Are you hurt?"
My balls are aching, Jasper thought, but he didn't really think that counted as much. "No," he said, and lifted a hand to brush Bellamy's hair off his forehead to get a better look at Bellamy's wound.
The cut was deep. Maybe deep enough for stitches, and Jasper wondered what they would tell Jackson when they got back to camp.
He pressed gently at the edge of the wound, trying to see how deep it was, but Bellamy winced and jerked away before he could tell. Jasper didn't let his hands leave Bellamy's face, though.
"Sorry," he murmured, then let his hands drop to Bellamy's shoulders.
Bellamy leaned into Jasper's grip, his eyes closing for a moment. "Is it as bad as it feels? Is my eyebrow gone?" He sounded like he was trying to joke, but it wasn't very convincing.
"It's split," Jasper said. He let his elbows go soft, letting Bellamy fall against him, then shifted them to get his arm under Bellamy. "It might need stitches," he said, pressing the hand that wasn't under Bellamy's to Bellamy's chest. "Can you make it home?" he asked. He didn't think he could carry Bellamy. "Do you need to rest before we go?"
Bellamy sighed and wrapped an arm around Jasper's shoulders. "Just for a second." He opened his eyes and Jasper realized how close they were standing. "Jasper, are you really okay?" he murmured.
"Yeah," Jasper whispered automatically. He guided Bellamy against a tree, then slid them both down to a seated position. He looked at Bell again. God, what had he done? Killing Emerson hadn't fixed anything, and now Bellamy was hurt because of him.
"I'm fine," he said, but found he couldn't stop touching Bellamy. His fingers ghosted over Bellamy's chest, then over his face, avoiding any wounds. He wished he could heal Bellamy with his touch, but knew he couldn't.
Bellamy smiled faintly at him. "I should probably put pressure on this, huh?" he mumbled, but he just kept looking at Jasper. "'m glad you're okay. We got him, Jas." He leaned his head back against the tree trunk. "What're we going to tell Jackson?"
We got him, Jas echoed in Jasper's mind for a moment. They had got Emerson, but it didn't feel good. And Bellamy had just called him "Jas", and it made Jasper feel strange. Not in a bad way, but still strange.
"Um," Jasper mumbled, letting his hands finally rest on Bell's waist. "We could… say we encountered… some animal…"
Bellamy snorted. "That carried a knife?" he asked, shifting his injured shoulder. "We could just tell the truth." He blinked slowly and then smiled at Jasper. "We knew Emerson got out of Mount Weather, and we did what had to be done. You and me."
"You and me," Jasper murmured, then shook himself. He ripped the lower half of his shirt off, then shifted Bellamy so he could wrap it around Bellamy's arm, ignoring the grimace on Bellamy's face. Then he bunched the fabric around the edges of his sleeve, fisting it in his palm, and pressed the fabric to Bellamy's head wound.
Bellamy grunted. "Thanks. We shouldn't linger here." He turned his head, and Jasper followed his gaze to Emerson's body. "Jas, we...probably ought to search him."
Jasper's heart fluttered a little when Bell called him "Jas" again. Then he looked at Emerson and the funny blank feeling returned. He crawled over and fisted his hands through Emerson's pockets, finding nothing of use. "Nada," Jasper said, looking back at Bell.
"Okay." Bell got to his knees, hanging on to the tree trunk. "We should get back." He started to stand, and Jasper jumped up to help him. Bellamy let Jasper drape Bell's good arm over his shoulders. "If I lean on you and we go slow at first, I think I can make it," Bell added.
"Okay," Jasper said, then wedged himself into a supportive position and started to head toward camp. "Tell me if we need to stop," he murmured, heaving Bellamy's body against him.
Bellamy chuckled. "Don't worry."
Jasper worried at first that Bellamy would push himself too hard, that Bellamy would collapse and Jasper would have to choose between leaving him behind to go for help, or staying with him until he could go on. But he'd underestimated Bellamy's strength. Bellamy did push himself, walking further than Jasper had expected before the first stop. But he also wasn't coy about needing breaks.
It took them the better part of two hours to cover a distance they'd walked in less than half an hour on the way out, but finally they were in view of the camp. Bellamy staggered to a halt, swaying against Jasper.
"Can't sneak in," he mumbled. He'd definitely been growing weaker during the last two walks. Jasper looked worriedly at the bandage on Bell's arm; it was soaked with blood. "C'n I wait here?" Bell's voice was faint.
Jasper looked back, trying to decide if it was safe to leave Bellamy here, and decided that they were far enough out of the woods, and if he left Bellamy and ran the rest of the way back to camp, he could get Bellamy help faster.
"Okay," he said, and guided Bellamy to a spot with good tree coverage. He pressed his hand to Bellamy's cheek. "Don't move. I'll be right back."
He didn't wait for Bellamy to respond before he turned and started to run towards camp. Guards raised their weapons at him when he got in sight, so Jasper slowed and put up his hands. "Bellamy's hurt," he shouted, and they realized who it was.
It wasn't long before a few people from camp were carrying Bellamy to the medical unit, and Jasper followed in behind them, watching them work on Bellamy.
Abby looked furious as she stitched up Bellamy's brow, and Jasper knew they would get shouted at once she was done, but he didn't care. He uselessly wiped at Emerson's dried blood coating his hand.
Of course word got around camp, or maybe Octavia had heard Jasper's earlier shout. Either way, she turned up before Abby was finished, and she paced back and forth, alternating glares at her brother with glares at Jasper.
Bellamy submitted to Abby's ministrations in silence, eyes closed. He was breathing hard, and Jasper could tell he was in pain. He wished he could help somehow.
When Abby finished, she cleaned her hands and placed them on her hips. "Perhaps you'd like to explain yourselves."
Jasper opened his mouth, not sure what to say, but Bellamy spoke first.
"When Jasper was wounded before, you all thought it was Grounders. No one bothered to look into it beyond that. No one except Lincoln, who's really the only person who should have looked into it." Bellamy's voice was stronger than it had been in the woods. Maybe he'd been saving his energy for this.
Abby exhaled angrily. "You should have come to the adults--"
"Begging your pardon, ma'am," Bellamy said, voice dripping with sarcasm. "But the adults still don't quite understand life down here. We do, because we were the ones the adults saw fit to send down here to our deaths."
It occurred to Jasper that Bellamy was, technically, an adult. How old was he? Twenty, at least. He had to have been chafing at the way Abby treated them.
Abby opened her mouth, but Bellamy cut her off again. "We knew there were Mountain Men who made it out alive. Jasper needed something to focus on. So he and I went out patrolling. He and I found out it was Carl Emerson--Cage Wallace's second. And he and I did what had to be done. Together." He laid his head back against his cot. "And unless you intend to exile me, or lock me up, that's the last thing I have to say about it."
Abby still looked angry, but she just drew a deep breath and glared at the wall. After a moment, she looked at Jasper. "Do you have anything to say for yourself?" she asked.
"Nothing Bellamy hasn't already said," he replied.
"Have you been drinking?" she asked, and Jasper's eyes went wide.
He darted his gaze around the room, relieved to see everyone but Abby, Octavia and Bellamy had left.
"People talk," she told him.
"No, I'm not drinking," he muttered, and she nodded and straightened.
"We're not done discussing this," she said, then left the room, barking orders at Bellamy that he was to rest and not leave the medical unit.
Bellamy closed his eyes with a long sigh. "Well, that went a little better than I expected," he muttered.
Octavia made an astonished noise. "A little better than-- Are you insane? Bell, you almost got yourself killed! You were stupid, and you--" Bellamy raised one hand and, to Jasper's astonishment, she quit talking and stared at him.
With a sigh, Bellamy opened his arms, and Octavia fell into them. "You stupid, arrogant, annoying…asshole," she muttered.
Bellamy smiled and opened his eyes. He looked over Octavia's head at Jasper, and the warmth in his gaze did something odd to Jasper's stomach. "Thanks," Bellamy murmured, and Jasper wasn't sure if it was meant for him or if Bellamy was being sarcastic at Octaiva.
Jasper gave Bell a small smile, and Bell returned it with one of his own. Jasper moved a little closer, wanting to touch Bellamy for some reason, as if it might reassure Jasper that Bellamy was really alright. He just hovered near the brother and sister pair.
"I'm sorry, Octavia," he murmured. "It was my fault. My idea."
She stood and frowned at him. "I'm pissed at both of you," she snapped. Bell nudged her and she sighed. "Oh, fine. You're right, it had to be done. But you could at least have invited Lincoln along to take care of you."
"Gee, thanks, O. Your confidence is touching." Bell gave Jasper a lopsided grin. "We got back okay. Thanks to Jas."
Octavia turned and gave Jasper a look he couldn't quite read, but didn't say anything.
Jasper opted to keep quiet too. He moved around the table Bell was on and reached a hand out to touch Bellamy's shoulder… then saw all the dried blood on his hand and switched to the other hand, pressing it against Bellamy. It felt like Bellamy relaxed just a little when Jasper touched him. But maybe that was wishful thinking.
"There aren't any more of them," Jasper said quietly to Octavia. "The Mountain Men. That's what he told us anyway."
"This is what you were really up to, getting Lincoln to teach you how to use swords," she accused.
"Partly," Bellamy admitted. "But we did enjoy it, O. Right, Jas? Lincoln's...well, a friend, I guess, isn't he? And I hope he'll keep teaching me, once I'm healed up again."
Octavia narrowed her eyes at both of them, then leaned over Bellamy to get close to Jasper. "You got him hurt," she said. "And for his sake, I'll let it go. Once." She held Jasper's gaze for a long moment, then whirled and stomped out of the room.
Jasper stared after her, a sinking feeling in his stomach. "Shit. She's pissed." He didn't want Octavia to hate him. And it's not like he even had to twist Bell's arm to get him to come along. Bell had come willingly.
To his surprise, Bellamy chuckled. "Don't worry. You get used to it." His fingers curled around Jasper's wrist. When Jasper looked down, Bellamy had his eyes closed again.
"I hope not," Jasper said, but Bellamy's fingers felt nice against his skin, and he found it hard to concentrate. He turned his wrist out of Bellamy's hold, noticing the frown that crossed Bell's face at that, but then he impulsively laced his fingers with Bellamy's and let their joined hands rest against Bellamy's chest. Oh, God, if this wasn't the dumbest thing to do.
Bellamy's eyes opened and found Jasper's face. His eyes were bright, but he wasn't smiling. He just looked up at Jasper, the bandage over his eye making him look quizzical and almost fragile.
Oh. Was that what Octavia meant?
Jasper opened his mouth to speak, but wasn't sure what to say. How could Octavia know this would happen, when Jasper hadn't even known before he did it?
"Sorry," he whispered, and started to pull his hand away.
But Bellamy's fingers tightened on his. "Don't," he said, his voice soft. "Don't apologize." He stared at Jasper for a few moments, then looked away, his fingers still gripping Jasper's. "How are you, Jas?"
Jasper tightened his hand on Bellamy's, feeling a little dizzy knowing Bellamy wanted it. "My balls hurt," he said, and then couldn't stop himself from grinning.
Bellamy snorted, then laughed out loud. "I should've had Abby give you the painkillers," he teased. He looked back at Jasper, shaking his head slightly.
"That's okay," Jasper said, watching the lines of Bellamy's face. "I'm fine. I didn't want her to insist on taking a look."
Bellamy grinned. "She would, too. Nosy and bossy." His smile faltered briefly, but then stabilized. "They'll probably never let us out again. But we did what we said we would."
Jasper nodded, then rubbed his free hand against his pants hard, trying to get as much of Emerson's blood off it. "I thought it would make me feel… different." He wasn't sure how to describe it. "Like… relief. But I don't know what I feel."
Bellamy nodded, watching Jasper. His expression was hard to read, but there was no judgment in it. He tightened his hand slightly on Jasper's.
Jasper drew in a shaky breath, then let his free hand brush over Bellamy's forehead and into his hair, stroking softly. "I don't think I feel anything about it," he admitted. "But… if I don't feel anything, that's fucked up, isn't it? His blood is still on my hands."
Bellamy's lips curved slightly, but he looked sad. "We're all a little fucked up, Jas. I know I am. Pretty sure I can handle it if you're a little fucked up too."
"Good," Jasper murmured, returning an unhappy smile of his own to Bellamy. After a moment, he let his hand drop from Bellamy's hair. Bellamy didn't seem to mind it, but maybe it was the pain meds. Maybe it was ridiculous to be touching Bellamy like this, just hours after hunting Emerson down and killing him.
"Do you want me to let you rest?" Jasper asked.
Bellamy shook his head. "I want you to stay." He didn't look away from Jasper as he said it. Jasper didn't think he was imagining the tiny quiver in Bell's voice. Bell licked his lips. "Stay with me," he whispered.
Jasper nodded, then looked around him. "Okay," he said, then let go of Bellamy to drag a chair closer. When he sat, he reached up and took Bell's hand in his again. "I'm here."
***
Bellamy's nightmares were finally different the night after they fought Emerson. They didn't go away entirely, of course. Maybe they never would. But even though his nightmare was full of fighting and blood, there were no children. He saw Maya, but she wasn't burned. She was fighting alongside him. Alongside him and Jasper.
Bell woke from that nightmare breathing hard, but then he realized someone was holding his hand. He looked over and saw that Jasper had fallen asleep next to his bed.
Bell went back to sleep.
The next morning brought a visit from Kane, because Abby had of course gone straight to him, complaining about reckless behavior and who knew what all. She'd kicked Jasper out sometime before Bellamy woke, and that made him more furious than the rest of her heavy-handed behavior.
The difference between Kane and Abby was that Abby just looked at Bellamy like a wayward boy. Kane looked at him with respect. Kane knew the cost of everything Bellamy had done, and he appreciated it. He accepted it. Kane only stayed a few minutes before leaving.
By noon, Bellamy felt good enough to demand Abby let him leave, and she didn't really have any good reason to keep him. As soon he stepped out of the medical unit, Bell paused, squinting around. Where would he find Jasper?
He wondered how much time had passed, and figured Jasper probably would have gone to wash the blood and filth off of him as soon as he had the opportunity. But he was probably done with that by now. Jasper was probably avoiding Octavia right now, too, so Bellamy made his way to the tent Jasper shared with Monty on the nights Jasper wasn't sleeping in Bellamy's blankets.
He tapped on the flap, and Monty cleared his throat and told Bellamy to come in.
Bellamy ducked in and glanced around, finding only Monty inside. "Nice shiner," he said, giving Bellamy a small smile.
"Heh. Thanks." Bellamy gave him a crooked smile back. "If you're pissed at us, too, I'll understand," he said. "But he needed that. Even if it didn't give him the…the closure he thought it would." He paused, gauging Monty's expression, but Monty didn't seem pissed off. Of course, maybe Jasper hadn't told him. He cleared his throat. "And I care too much about Jasper to let him do it alone."
Monty watched Bellamy for a minute, then said, "You'd better care about him." He lifted his brows. "I was mad at first, but we talked earlier today, and we talked about… everything."
Bell swallowed, wondering if everything really meant everything. He thought it probably did, and Monty seemed okay with it--but Bell didn't really know what it was. He knew how he felt, but Jasper… How could Jasper ever really forgive him for Maya?
"Okay," he said, and nodded. "Good. Um. Where is he?"
"I thought he went back to see you," Monty said.
Bell relaxed a little. "Oh, Abby threw him out earlier, so she probably didn't let him back in. Maybe he's at my tent. Thanks, Monty."
He ducked back out of Monty's tent and scanned the camp with his gaze, then headed for his own tent. The closer he got, the faster his breath came. God, he hoped he hadn't made a complete fool of himself.
He paused outside his tent, took a couple of deep breaths, and then just as he was about to duck inside, Jasper put back the tent flap and stuck his head out.
"Oh!" Jasper gasped, surprised, then hovered where he was, as though he wasn't sure whether he should go back in or come out. "Abby let you out? I-- she wouldn't let me stay."
Bell smiled, feeling a little better. "I convinced her I was fine," he said. "I have a headache, big deal. I've had worse. I could use some tea, though. Want to join me?"
"Yeah," Jasper said immediately, sounding pleased, and slipped back into the tent, holding the flap for Bellamy. He seemed a little nervous. Or was that excited?
Bellamy followed him in and settled on the softest spot he could find, swallowing a groan. He had a couple of bruises he hadn't really noticed until he started walking around today. He fussed with the hot plate he'd commandeered ages ago until he had the water heating, then looked over at Jasper.
"Monty said you two talked."
Jasper shrugged. He was sitting closer to Bellamy than he needed to, but Bellamy enjoyed it. "Yeah. He'd heard about the way we came back yesterday, and wasn't happy about it."
Bell snorted. "I don't think 'happy' is the word I'd use for how you and I felt about it, either," he said, giving Jasper a warm look. "So everything's okay with you two?"
Jasper nodded. "Yeah, fine." he said, then he lifted a hand to brush away Bellamy's hair, ostensibly to look at Bellamy's cut, but his fingers were soft, gentle. "How are you feeling?"
"Just a headache." Bell licked his lips. "Maybe a few bruises." He drew in a breath. Say something, he told himself. But after a long moment, he just said, "So...are we good, Jas?"
That was dumb.
That seemed to surprise Jasper, and he drew away. Not a lot, but enough to make Bellamy wish he'd said something different. He hadn't even realized how close Jasper was until he felt the slight absence.
Jasper blinked at him a moment, his gaze open. "We have been for a while," Jasper said. "I thought." His fingers slid through Bellamy's hair, over his ear, then Jasper's hand landed on Bell's shoulder.
Jasper's face suddenly looked doubtful. "I'm sorry. I don't know what I'm doing."
Bell's heart sped up. "I didn't know how much of that was me just needing us to be okay," he admitted. He couldn't control the smile that stretched his lips. "I mean--" He paused and leaned in a little. "I need us to be okay. I want--"
I want us to be us. An us. How did you talk about something like this? He knew how to invite something physical, but that wasn't what he wanted with Jasper. Not all he wanted, anyway. Still, they had to start somewhere. And Jasper's hand was still on his shoulder, and the self-doubt on his face was growing more pronounced.
Bellamy leaned in and pressed his lips to Jasper's.
He felt Jasper tense slightly, drawing in a sharp breath, and then he relaxed again and leaned into the kiss, returning it eagerly. When their tongues met, Bellamy suppressed a groan, letting the feeling sweep his entire body.
Jasper pulled back, but he was just an inch from Bellamy's face, panting softly. "What is this, Bell?"
Bellamy knew what he was asking, but he had no idea how to put it in words. "I need you," he whispered, lifting a hand to brush through Jasper's short hair. He let it slide down to curl gently at the back of Jasper's neck. "In my life. With me. I--life is hell, but it's better with you."
He felt Jasper nod, and then Jasper leaned in and kissed him again. This time it was slower, but somehow even more needy, and it made Bellamy shiver. He felt Jasper's fingers tighten at his shoulder, and then Jasper moved closer so they were hip to hip. "I don't know how to do this," he murmured against Bellamy's lips, then kissed him again.
Bell hummed against Jasper's lips, slipping an arm around Jasper's waist and shifting to pull him closer. "Like I do?" he said breathlessly. "I mean, sex, sure. But this? You and me? I've never felt like this."
Jasper leaned to press his forehead to Bellamy's. "You and me," he repeated. "I like the sound of that." His hand gripped the arm that was around him, and the other that had been on Bellamy's shoulder was back to sifting through Bellamy's hair. Bellamy leaned into the touch, and Jasper ducked to kiss his neck.
Bellamy gasped and arched his neck, ignoring the way his cut eyebrow had started throbbing with that light pressure. "Jasper," he breathed, closing his eyes and focusing on the thrill of Jasper's lips against his skin. "Never thought this would happen."
Jasper huffed a breath against Bellamy's skin. "Me either," he breathed, then went back to kissing and licking at Bellamy's throat.
Bell shivered, chuckling, and stopped talking. He slid the hand on Jasper's neck back up to play with his hair. He wondered if Jasper would let it grow back out. He'd always liked Jasper's hair. He almost couldn't believe this was real. If someone had told him just a few weeks ago that Jasper would forgive him--more than forgive him--he wouldn't have believed them.
Stop thinking, he told himself, and leaned back. He ducked his head to capture Jasper's mouth with his own.
He had no idea how long they kissed. Not long enough. It would never be long enough. Bellamy was leaning so far back he had to prop himself up with one arm, the other still wrapped firmly around Jasper's waist. Jasper leaned against him and suddenly Bellamy's injured arm twinged and gave out.
Bell fell backward, Jasper half lying on top of him, and even though Bell was laughing, his arm was killing him.
Jasper pulled back quickly, looking flushed, and propped himself up enough that his weight wasn't on Bellamy anymore. "I'm sorry," he panted. "I forgot. I just--" he touched Bellamy's cheek, then gently over his arm near the cut.
Jasper darted a glance to where his fingers lay, just above the cut on Bellamy's arm, as if looking for evidence that they'd opened the cut again. "I got… carried away."
Bell grinned and, using his good arm, pushed himself up just enough to brush a light kiss against Jasper's lips. "I'm not complaining." He bit his lip, wondering if his grin was as stupid-looking as it felt. "I got carried away too."
He let his head drop back gently on the blanket. "But I am a little sore still."
"I know," Jasper blurted, looking worried. "I'm sorry. I should have waited."
Bell pressed a finger to Jasper's lips. "Stop apologizing," he ordered, smiling. "And c'mere. This shoulder feels fine." He held out his good arm in invitation.
Jasper bit his lips together and glanced to the side. "What about the tea?"
"Turn off the hot plate and forget the tea," Bell said. "We have plenty of time for tea later."
We have plenty of time. God, he hoped that was true.
He closed his eyes against the pain, and heard the hotplate click off, then Jasper was settling at his side. He pressed his face to Bellamy's neck, planting soft, tender kisses there that made Bellamy feel… well, different. Good. Better than it had ever felt before when he kissed someone or they kissed him.
He took a deep breath and let it out slowly, relishing this moment. They'd done what they said they would. He'd saved Jasper, and Jasper had saved him.
And tomorrow was soon enough to face the world. Together.
Authors:
innerslytherin & severity_softlyFandom: The 100
Pairing/Characters: Jasper/Bellamy, Monty, Octavia, Lincoln, Raven
Rating: R (for violence/blood, lots of drunkenness, and language)
WC: ~43,400
Notes: Set immediately after the season two finale, "Blood Must Have Blood: Part 2". Inspired in part by Jasper spoilers in this article for the season three premiere. Also, we realize we're posting this just the day before the season three premiere, so it will very likely be AU very quickly. Read fast! ;)
Summary: After Maya's death, Jasper becomes reckless… But Bellamy refuses to let him destroy himself.
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4
Bellamy had hoped he would sleep soundly the night after he and Jasper ventured back into the woods. After all, he'd saved Jasper the first time, and this time, neither of them had been hurt. They'd gone out, proven to themselves they could do it, and come back unharmed. So he was supposed to feel better, and as a result, sleep better.
Unfortunately, his subconscious hadn't gotten the message.
He jerked awake, slicked with sweat and panting. He pressed his fingers against his eyelids, wishing he could wipe away the image of Maya's burned face--or Jasper's blood-covered one. With a deep sigh, he sat up.
Only then did he realize it was nearly dawn. He'd made it most of the night. Maybe things were getting better.
Instead of trying to sleep again, he washed and found Lincoln, issuing a casual invitation to breakfast. To his surprise, Lincoln agreed.
They were halfway through their breakfast when he saw Monty and Jasper straggling into the mess hall. Grinning, Bellamy waved them over.
To his surprise, Monty smiled, but Jasper's smile was even brighter. It tugged at Bellamy's heart.
The other two made their way over, and settled at the table, Monty next to Bellamy and Jasper next to Lincoln.
"It's too early," Monty mumbled, and Jasper hid a smile. He'd obviously had a better night's sleep.
"Hey, Lincoln," he managed, shoving food into his mouth. "Where's Octavia?"
Lincoln glanced up from his plate. "She's still asleep."
He didn't say any more than that, but Bellamy had to take a deep breath and look away for a second. He liked Lincoln. Lincoln was a good guy. He made Octavia happy.
Bellamy shoved some food into his mouth so he wouldn't say anything stupid. When he swallowed, he said, "Come on, Jasper, Lincoln's his own person."
From the tiny curl of Lincoln's lips, Bellamy thought he'd managed to keep his tone teasing and good-natured. Good, he was doing good.
Jasper's grin faltered, then he looked at Bellamy. "I didn't mean that," he said, then turned to Lincoln. "How are you?"
Bellamy extended a foot and nudged Jasper's ankle, ignoring whatever Lincoln said. He hadn't meant to be mean to Jasper, even if he was still coming to terms with the idea of his baby sister having a boyfriend. A partner. Whatever you called Lincoln and Octavia.
He shoved more food in his mouth, then realized Lincoln had said something to him. Bellamy gave him a blank look.
Lincoln snorted. "And I can tell Bellamy didn't get enough sleep either," he said to Monty and Jasper.
"Sorry," Bell muttered.
Lincoln shook his head. "How's your recovery going?" he asked Jasper.
"I'm fine," Jasper said. He turned and levelled a gaze at Lincoln, something slightly mischievous flitting across his face. "Knock, knock," he said, darting a look at Bell then back at Lincoln.
Bell blinked in surprise, then suppressed a grin. He glanced over at Lincoln, who was staring at Jasper with a sort of stoic confusion on his face. He obviously didn't know that was the beginning of an old Earth joke, but somehow, Bell didn't imagine him asking what it meant.
"Who's there?" Bell asked. Maybe if he and Jasper demonstrated one, Lincoln would get it without them having to try to explain what was, admittedly, kind of stupid humor.
Jasper snorted, then looked at Bellamy, looking too amused. "Banana," he said.
Bellamy let his grin escape. "Banana who?" He glanced at Lincoln, who was looking at him as if he were speaking a foreign language.
"Knock, knock," Jasper repeated.
"Who's there?"
"Banana."
"Banana who?"
"Knock, knock."
"Who's there?" Bellamy realized Monty was also looking at them as if they'd gone crazy. Oh well. It felt good to be stupid with Jasper. Really good.
"Banana," Jasper said, looking stupidly happy, even if he was darting weird glances at Lincoln.
Bellamy started snickering. He'd never expected to see Monty and Lincoln wearing matching expressions, but they were pretty damn close. "Banana who?" Really, this probably wasn't the best knock knock joke to start a guy on.
Jasper's eyes were glinting with humor, though, and it was so enticing. "Knock, knock," he repeated.
Bellamy laughed. "Who's there?" He held Jasper's gaze and admitted to himself that this joke was going to be entirely lost on Lincoln. But he didn't care. It was worth it to see that happiness in Jasper's eyes.
"Orange," Jasper said, the gleam in his eyes unmistakeable. It was the expression of someone so pleased with the situation they were in, it didn't matter no one else but Bellamy was playing along.
Bellamy fed him the line. He probably would have gone along even if Jasper had thrown in a few extra bananas. There was no way he was going to be the one to end this. "Orange who?"
"Orange you glad I didn't say banana?" Jasper asked, then tried, unsuccessfully, to hide his laughter in his elbow.
Bellamy laughed, watching Jasper. It was stupid and fantastic, even though Monty and Lincoln had both written them off as idiots.
Jasper laughed too, then shoved an elbow at Monty. "C'mon, Monty. You know that one."
Monty let out a breath of a laugh, then eyed Jasper. "It's the dumbest one we know."
"Which makes it the funniest," Jasper countered. He nudged Monty again then Monty made a doubtful look.
"That was…" Lincoln still looked confused. "A joke?"
"Old Earth joke," Bellamy said, still chuckling. "I guess knock-knock jokes didn't survive down here, huh?" Lincoln raised a single eyebrow, which Bell took as confirmation. "So tell us a Grounder joke," he suggested.
Lincoln blinked. "Three men walk into a bar. The fourth one ducks."
Bellamy stared at him for a second, then burst out laughing.
It took a few beats before Jasper and Monty started laughing too.
"You should tell more jokes," Jasper panted, trying to catch his breath. There must have been something about Lincoln's deadpan delivery to get Jasper.
Lincoln's lips curved in a tiny, satisfied smile. "Not much call for jokes lately." He finished his breakfast and stood up. "Need to go work out."
Bellamy stood too. "Mind if we join you?" he asked, his voice casual. "Jasper and I took a sword from the Grounders the other day, but I don't know what to do with it, except maybe swing it and hope the pointy end goes somewhere that'll hurt."
Lincoln snorted. "Not a very effective technique," he said. "You might as well join in. I could give Monty a sword to use."
Bellamy glanced at Jasper, then they both turned to look at Monty, who held up both hands in refusal. "Don't look at me. These are the hands of a scientist. They weren't made for holding weapons."
Bell grinned. Monty didn't sound like he suspected anything more than curiosity on his part. He and Jasper grabbed their swords and followed Lincoln to where he usually worked out. He only showed them a couple of moves and made them practice the moves against each other over and over until they were both sweaty and Bellamy's sword arm ached. Octavia joined them part way through, and she watched, her eyebrows raised and her arms folded, for a long while before sparring with Lincoln.
Finally Lincoln said they'd done enough for the day. "Come back tomorrow, I'll show you the next step," he promised.
Octavia followed Bellamy as he headed to get a drink of water. "So now you're hanging out with Lincoln?" she asked.
Bell glanced at her. "You were pretty heavy-handed in hinting I should," he said. "I figured if I asked him for sword lessons, he wouldn't realize you put me up to it."
"He's not stupid," Octavia said.
"I never said he was," Bell replied. "Look, O, I know he and I had a rocky start. But any guy you fell for was going to have a rocky start with me. So now I'm trying harder, okay? I just...looked for some common ground where he and I could meet."
"And you brought Jasper along with you."
He shrugged. "Jasper needs something to focus on."
"And you like him." Her tone was a little too smug for Bell's comfort. Thank God Jasper had stayed to teach Lincoln more knock-knock jokes.
"Sure, I like him. He saved your life."
"Not what I meant, big brother."
Bell shrugged again. "Doesn't matter." He was done with this conversation. Why were the women in his life so good at seeing through him?
She sighed. "Okay, fine. See you later."
***
For the next week, Jasper and Bellamy had breakfast with Monty and Lincoln, and sometimes Octavia, and then they learned how to use swords. During the day, they sneaked out of the camp to look for Emerson. They didn't find any more prints or clues for several days, but on the sixth day, just as Jasper was tempted to start griping at Bellamy for making him turn back that first day, they found something.
Jasper froze, eying the tree in front of him while his hand slid back and grasped the hilt of his sword. He was feeling much more confident with it after Lincoln's lessons than he had when he'd pulled a sword on Dante Wallace at Mount Weather.
"Look," he said, moving closer and reaching out to touch the spot on the tree where bark had been cut and broken off, as if someone had swung a blade at it. He dropped his eyes to the ground to see if there were any more signs of a struggle.
Bellamy stood next to him, his shoulder brushing Jasper's. "Well spotted," he said, and joined Jasper in scanning the ground. "Here," he said after a moment. "Blood." He moved over to the spot. "There's another. I think we've got a blood trail. You think it's Grounders, or our guy?"
"Who knows," Jasper said, lowering his voice as he drew his sword. He glanced at Bellamy, watching his strong, broad shoulders as Bellamy started following the trail. Jasper stepped in behind him a moment later.
It was just a few drops at first, but then there started to be more and more of it. "Someone's hurt," he murmured. "Or dead," he added as Bellamy froze. Looking around him, Jasper saw a body lying on the ground.
Bellamy reached back without looking at Jasper. His hand brushed Jasper's chest in a "stay there" motion, and then Bellamy crept forward. It was definitely a Grounder, Jasper saw, and then he realized Bellamy had wanted him to watch his back. He jerked his gaze away.
"C'mere," Bellamy murmured after a moment. "Dead Grounder."
Jasper started toward him. In the distance, there was a rustling of leaves, then someone grunted. Jasper darted ahead of Bellamy a few feet, toward the noise, then pressed himself to a tree and peeked around it to see if he could get a look at what was happening without being seen.
A man slumped against a tree, his back to Jasper. He was wearing the tan uniform of Mount Weather. Jasper's heart jolted into overdrive. Emerson.
He didn't hear Bellamy coming, but after a moment, a hand closed lightly on his shoulder. Bellamy came up next to him. Jasper could feel Bellamy's eyes on him and knew Bellamy was waiting for Jasper to take the lead.
Suddenly, Jasper didn't know what to do. Should he just attack Emerson? After a moment, he decided they needed information. Was Emerson working alone? And what was he trying to do by killing Grounders?
Jasper glanced at Bellamy, who gave him a nod, and then stepped out from where they were hidden, lifting his sword. "Emerson," he said, willing his voice to be calm, though his heart was racing.
The man jerked and spun, his movement slower than Jasper had expected. The Grounder must have wounded Emerson in their fight. Good.
"You," Emerson rasped. And then his eyes widened. He must have seen Bellamy behind Jasper. "Damn you," he growled, and lunged at them.
Bellamy circled around to the right as Jasper raised his blade to block Emerson's swing. It was weird that Emerson wasn't using a gun. Maybe he'd lost it in the fight with the Grounder. Bellamy had brought his gun, but he wouldn't use it yet, Jasper knew. They didn't want to make too much noise.
Jasper dodged to the side when Emerson swung again and then staggered. He was definitely hurt. Jasper darted forward and used Emerson's own momentum to shove him hard against a tree, pressing his blade to Emerson's neck. "Damn us?" Jasper panted, forgetting for the moment that he wanted answers. "You're the reason my girlfriend is dead!"
"Your girlfriend was a traitor to her people," Emerson snarled. "She deserved what she got." He brought his knee up into Jasper's groin.
Jasper doubled over, gasping in pain. Before Emerson could take advantage of it, Bellamy was there, his sword blocking Emerson's knife with the clash of steel.
"His girlfriend was the only decent person in your whole fucking mountain," Bellamy said. "She might have betrayed you, but you'd already betrayed the entire human race with what you were doing. You people were cannibals."
Jasper managed to catch his breath and straighten again, watching Bellamy and Emerson struggle. The side of Emerson's shirt was soaked in blood. Bellamy shoved at Emerson, and he stumbled back, but then swung again and caught Bellamy's shoulder.
Bellamy cried out, and Jasper lunged in, planting a fist into Emerson's face, because Bellamy was too close for him to use his sword. Emerson hit the ground, and Jasper climbed onto him, fighting for the hand that held his knife, while jamming the hilt of his sword into the wound on Emerson's side. It ripped a scream from Emerson.
"What are you doing out here?" Jasper demanded. "Why are you killing Grounders?"
Emerson panted, his eyes blazing with hatred. "Go to hell." He twisted his hips, bucking to throw Jasper off. Jasper went with it, because he didn't think his crotch could take another hit. Rolling away from Emerson, Jasper got his head up in time to see the Mountain Man pull himself to his feet.
Emerson was clearly weakening. He held onto a tree trunk and just had time to brace himself before Bellamy hit him. Bellamy used the pommel strike Lincoln had taught them that morning, but Emerson managed to block it, just barely. Bellamy pressed in, grappling with him, then Emerson head-butted him. Bellamy let out a cry of pain, stumbling back, blood streaming from a cut over his eye.
A jolt of renewed anger hit Jasper at the sight of Bellamy bleeding. Jasper tackled Emerson again, his arms going around Emerson's waist as they toppled, then rolled, then struggled for dominance. Jasper got in another good punch to Emerson's face, his fist still gripping the hilt of his blade, and Emerson went a little slack. It was like he was fighting a loss of consciousness.
Jasper took the opportunity to drive his blade into Emerson's wrist. It pierced all the way through and pinned Emerson's hand to the ground, forcing him to release his own weapon as he cried out in pain.
"Talk, or I'll fucking kill you!" Jasper demanded.
Emerson deserved to die, Jasper reminded himself.
"The Grounders just got in my way," Emerson gritted out. "I was coming for him--" He nodded his head at Bellamy. "--and Clarke. And you. All of you. You fucked everything up." His face was very white, his lips almost colorless. He'd lost a lot of blood, Jasper realized.
Uneven footsteps approached and Bellamy's hand closed on Jasper's shoulder. Bellamy held his sword to Emerson's throat, helping ensure he wouldn't get away.
"Don't." Bellamy's voice was rough. "Don't torture him. Just kill him. Trust me."
"Are there more of you?" Jasper panted, his eyes wild on Emerson's face.
Emerson bared his teeth. "Of course not. Your bitch killed them all. We'd barely begun treatment." He was shaking, his breathing irregular.
Bellamy's hand tightened slightly on Jasper's shoulder.
Jasper yanked the blade out of Emerson's wrist, then turned it and drove it through the side of Emerson's neck with enough force that it shoved through almost to the hilt, and Jasper felt hot blood gushing over his hand.
Emerson made a gurgling sound, and spasmed, but the blood rushed out of him, and it didn't take long for Emerson to go completely still, his eyes staring at Jasper, but not seeing him anymore.
And then suddenly Jasper couldn't catch his breath. And he couldn't look away from Emerson's blank face, even as the blood flowing over his hand started to slow.
At some point, he realized both of Bellamy's hands were holding his shoulders. He could just barely hear Bellamy saying his name, over the strange rushing of blood in his ears.
"Jasper," Bellamy said again, his hands squeezing his shoulders. "Jasper."
Finally, he drew in a long shaky breath and lifted his gaze, staring blankly into the woods. He felt stunned. And his stomach was sinking rapidly, because he'd thought this would make things right. Make things feel better. But he just felt numb.
"I'm fine," he mumbled, then pulled the blade out of Emerson, letting it rip through the front of Emerson's throat, rather than withdrawing it the way it had gone in.
Bellamy drew in a ragged breath behind him, but he squeezed once more and let go. "You sure?" he asked. His voice sounded muffled, like he was rubbing his hands over his face.
"Yeah," Jasper lied.
He spared another look at Emerson, his eyes running over the man's destroyed neck, then forced himself to his feet, not feeling anything.
He drew another stabilizing breath, then turned to look at Bellamy. And emotion flooded him again.
Bellamy's face and arm were streaked with blood, and he looked shaken. Jasper closed the distance between them and pressed his hands to Bellamy's cheeks, ghosting his fingers toward the gash on his forehead, but stopping short of actually touching the wound.
"God, Bell," he whispered, heart aching. "We need to get you back. You're hurt."
Bellamy made a strangled noise. Jasper couldn't decide if it was a choked off laugh or a choked off sob. Or maybe both. After a moment, Bellamy's lips wavered into a hint of a smile. "Shoulder doesn't hurt as bad as my face."
His face might hurt more, but Jasper wasn't sure which was bleeding more. Bellamy had gone pale under his tan complexion.
"Jasper," Bellamy said softly. "Are you hurt?"
My balls are aching, Jasper thought, but he didn't really think that counted as much. "No," he said, and lifted a hand to brush Bellamy's hair off his forehead to get a better look at Bellamy's wound.
The cut was deep. Maybe deep enough for stitches, and Jasper wondered what they would tell Jackson when they got back to camp.
He pressed gently at the edge of the wound, trying to see how deep it was, but Bellamy winced and jerked away before he could tell. Jasper didn't let his hands leave Bellamy's face, though.
"Sorry," he murmured, then let his hands drop to Bellamy's shoulders.
Bellamy leaned into Jasper's grip, his eyes closing for a moment. "Is it as bad as it feels? Is my eyebrow gone?" He sounded like he was trying to joke, but it wasn't very convincing.
"It's split," Jasper said. He let his elbows go soft, letting Bellamy fall against him, then shifted them to get his arm under Bellamy. "It might need stitches," he said, pressing the hand that wasn't under Bellamy's to Bellamy's chest. "Can you make it home?" he asked. He didn't think he could carry Bellamy. "Do you need to rest before we go?"
Bellamy sighed and wrapped an arm around Jasper's shoulders. "Just for a second." He opened his eyes and Jasper realized how close they were standing. "Jasper, are you really okay?" he murmured.
"Yeah," Jasper whispered automatically. He guided Bellamy against a tree, then slid them both down to a seated position. He looked at Bell again. God, what had he done? Killing Emerson hadn't fixed anything, and now Bellamy was hurt because of him.
"I'm fine," he said, but found he couldn't stop touching Bellamy. His fingers ghosted over Bellamy's chest, then over his face, avoiding any wounds. He wished he could heal Bellamy with his touch, but knew he couldn't.
Bellamy smiled faintly at him. "I should probably put pressure on this, huh?" he mumbled, but he just kept looking at Jasper. "'m glad you're okay. We got him, Jas." He leaned his head back against the tree trunk. "What're we going to tell Jackson?"
We got him, Jas echoed in Jasper's mind for a moment. They had got Emerson, but it didn't feel good. And Bellamy had just called him "Jas", and it made Jasper feel strange. Not in a bad way, but still strange.
"Um," Jasper mumbled, letting his hands finally rest on Bell's waist. "We could… say we encountered… some animal…"
Bellamy snorted. "That carried a knife?" he asked, shifting his injured shoulder. "We could just tell the truth." He blinked slowly and then smiled at Jasper. "We knew Emerson got out of Mount Weather, and we did what had to be done. You and me."
"You and me," Jasper murmured, then shook himself. He ripped the lower half of his shirt off, then shifted Bellamy so he could wrap it around Bellamy's arm, ignoring the grimace on Bellamy's face. Then he bunched the fabric around the edges of his sleeve, fisting it in his palm, and pressed the fabric to Bellamy's head wound.
Bellamy grunted. "Thanks. We shouldn't linger here." He turned his head, and Jasper followed his gaze to Emerson's body. "Jas, we...probably ought to search him."
Jasper's heart fluttered a little when Bell called him "Jas" again. Then he looked at Emerson and the funny blank feeling returned. He crawled over and fisted his hands through Emerson's pockets, finding nothing of use. "Nada," Jasper said, looking back at Bell.
"Okay." Bell got to his knees, hanging on to the tree trunk. "We should get back." He started to stand, and Jasper jumped up to help him. Bellamy let Jasper drape Bell's good arm over his shoulders. "If I lean on you and we go slow at first, I think I can make it," Bell added.
"Okay," Jasper said, then wedged himself into a supportive position and started to head toward camp. "Tell me if we need to stop," he murmured, heaving Bellamy's body against him.
Bellamy chuckled. "Don't worry."
Jasper worried at first that Bellamy would push himself too hard, that Bellamy would collapse and Jasper would have to choose between leaving him behind to go for help, or staying with him until he could go on. But he'd underestimated Bellamy's strength. Bellamy did push himself, walking further than Jasper had expected before the first stop. But he also wasn't coy about needing breaks.
It took them the better part of two hours to cover a distance they'd walked in less than half an hour on the way out, but finally they were in view of the camp. Bellamy staggered to a halt, swaying against Jasper.
"Can't sneak in," he mumbled. He'd definitely been growing weaker during the last two walks. Jasper looked worriedly at the bandage on Bell's arm; it was soaked with blood. "C'n I wait here?" Bell's voice was faint.
Jasper looked back, trying to decide if it was safe to leave Bellamy here, and decided that they were far enough out of the woods, and if he left Bellamy and ran the rest of the way back to camp, he could get Bellamy help faster.
"Okay," he said, and guided Bellamy to a spot with good tree coverage. He pressed his hand to Bellamy's cheek. "Don't move. I'll be right back."
He didn't wait for Bellamy to respond before he turned and started to run towards camp. Guards raised their weapons at him when he got in sight, so Jasper slowed and put up his hands. "Bellamy's hurt," he shouted, and they realized who it was.
It wasn't long before a few people from camp were carrying Bellamy to the medical unit, and Jasper followed in behind them, watching them work on Bellamy.
Abby looked furious as she stitched up Bellamy's brow, and Jasper knew they would get shouted at once she was done, but he didn't care. He uselessly wiped at Emerson's dried blood coating his hand.
Of course word got around camp, or maybe Octavia had heard Jasper's earlier shout. Either way, she turned up before Abby was finished, and she paced back and forth, alternating glares at her brother with glares at Jasper.
Bellamy submitted to Abby's ministrations in silence, eyes closed. He was breathing hard, and Jasper could tell he was in pain. He wished he could help somehow.
When Abby finished, she cleaned her hands and placed them on her hips. "Perhaps you'd like to explain yourselves."
Jasper opened his mouth, not sure what to say, but Bellamy spoke first.
"When Jasper was wounded before, you all thought it was Grounders. No one bothered to look into it beyond that. No one except Lincoln, who's really the only person who should have looked into it." Bellamy's voice was stronger than it had been in the woods. Maybe he'd been saving his energy for this.
Abby exhaled angrily. "You should have come to the adults--"
"Begging your pardon, ma'am," Bellamy said, voice dripping with sarcasm. "But the adults still don't quite understand life down here. We do, because we were the ones the adults saw fit to send down here to our deaths."
It occurred to Jasper that Bellamy was, technically, an adult. How old was he? Twenty, at least. He had to have been chafing at the way Abby treated them.
Abby opened her mouth, but Bellamy cut her off again. "We knew there were Mountain Men who made it out alive. Jasper needed something to focus on. So he and I went out patrolling. He and I found out it was Carl Emerson--Cage Wallace's second. And he and I did what had to be done. Together." He laid his head back against his cot. "And unless you intend to exile me, or lock me up, that's the last thing I have to say about it."
Abby still looked angry, but she just drew a deep breath and glared at the wall. After a moment, she looked at Jasper. "Do you have anything to say for yourself?" she asked.
"Nothing Bellamy hasn't already said," he replied.
"Have you been drinking?" she asked, and Jasper's eyes went wide.
He darted his gaze around the room, relieved to see everyone but Abby, Octavia and Bellamy had left.
"People talk," she told him.
"No, I'm not drinking," he muttered, and she nodded and straightened.
"We're not done discussing this," she said, then left the room, barking orders at Bellamy that he was to rest and not leave the medical unit.
Bellamy closed his eyes with a long sigh. "Well, that went a little better than I expected," he muttered.
Octavia made an astonished noise. "A little better than-- Are you insane? Bell, you almost got yourself killed! You were stupid, and you--" Bellamy raised one hand and, to Jasper's astonishment, she quit talking and stared at him.
With a sigh, Bellamy opened his arms, and Octavia fell into them. "You stupid, arrogant, annoying…asshole," she muttered.
Bellamy smiled and opened his eyes. He looked over Octavia's head at Jasper, and the warmth in his gaze did something odd to Jasper's stomach. "Thanks," Bellamy murmured, and Jasper wasn't sure if it was meant for him or if Bellamy was being sarcastic at Octaiva.
Jasper gave Bell a small smile, and Bell returned it with one of his own. Jasper moved a little closer, wanting to touch Bellamy for some reason, as if it might reassure Jasper that Bellamy was really alright. He just hovered near the brother and sister pair.
"I'm sorry, Octavia," he murmured. "It was my fault. My idea."
She stood and frowned at him. "I'm pissed at both of you," she snapped. Bell nudged her and she sighed. "Oh, fine. You're right, it had to be done. But you could at least have invited Lincoln along to take care of you."
"Gee, thanks, O. Your confidence is touching." Bell gave Jasper a lopsided grin. "We got back okay. Thanks to Jas."
Octavia turned and gave Jasper a look he couldn't quite read, but didn't say anything.
Jasper opted to keep quiet too. He moved around the table Bell was on and reached a hand out to touch Bellamy's shoulder… then saw all the dried blood on his hand and switched to the other hand, pressing it against Bellamy. It felt like Bellamy relaxed just a little when Jasper touched him. But maybe that was wishful thinking.
"There aren't any more of them," Jasper said quietly to Octavia. "The Mountain Men. That's what he told us anyway."
"This is what you were really up to, getting Lincoln to teach you how to use swords," she accused.
"Partly," Bellamy admitted. "But we did enjoy it, O. Right, Jas? Lincoln's...well, a friend, I guess, isn't he? And I hope he'll keep teaching me, once I'm healed up again."
Octavia narrowed her eyes at both of them, then leaned over Bellamy to get close to Jasper. "You got him hurt," she said. "And for his sake, I'll let it go. Once." She held Jasper's gaze for a long moment, then whirled and stomped out of the room.
Jasper stared after her, a sinking feeling in his stomach. "Shit. She's pissed." He didn't want Octavia to hate him. And it's not like he even had to twist Bell's arm to get him to come along. Bell had come willingly.
To his surprise, Bellamy chuckled. "Don't worry. You get used to it." His fingers curled around Jasper's wrist. When Jasper looked down, Bellamy had his eyes closed again.
"I hope not," Jasper said, but Bellamy's fingers felt nice against his skin, and he found it hard to concentrate. He turned his wrist out of Bellamy's hold, noticing the frown that crossed Bell's face at that, but then he impulsively laced his fingers with Bellamy's and let their joined hands rest against Bellamy's chest. Oh, God, if this wasn't the dumbest thing to do.
Bellamy's eyes opened and found Jasper's face. His eyes were bright, but he wasn't smiling. He just looked up at Jasper, the bandage over his eye making him look quizzical and almost fragile.
Oh. Was that what Octavia meant?
Jasper opened his mouth to speak, but wasn't sure what to say. How could Octavia know this would happen, when Jasper hadn't even known before he did it?
"Sorry," he whispered, and started to pull his hand away.
But Bellamy's fingers tightened on his. "Don't," he said, his voice soft. "Don't apologize." He stared at Jasper for a few moments, then looked away, his fingers still gripping Jasper's. "How are you, Jas?"
Jasper tightened his hand on Bellamy's, feeling a little dizzy knowing Bellamy wanted it. "My balls hurt," he said, and then couldn't stop himself from grinning.
Bellamy snorted, then laughed out loud. "I should've had Abby give you the painkillers," he teased. He looked back at Jasper, shaking his head slightly.
"That's okay," Jasper said, watching the lines of Bellamy's face. "I'm fine. I didn't want her to insist on taking a look."
Bellamy grinned. "She would, too. Nosy and bossy." His smile faltered briefly, but then stabilized. "They'll probably never let us out again. But we did what we said we would."
Jasper nodded, then rubbed his free hand against his pants hard, trying to get as much of Emerson's blood off it. "I thought it would make me feel… different." He wasn't sure how to describe it. "Like… relief. But I don't know what I feel."
Bellamy nodded, watching Jasper. His expression was hard to read, but there was no judgment in it. He tightened his hand slightly on Jasper's.
Jasper drew in a shaky breath, then let his free hand brush over Bellamy's forehead and into his hair, stroking softly. "I don't think I feel anything about it," he admitted. "But… if I don't feel anything, that's fucked up, isn't it? His blood is still on my hands."
Bellamy's lips curved slightly, but he looked sad. "We're all a little fucked up, Jas. I know I am. Pretty sure I can handle it if you're a little fucked up too."
"Good," Jasper murmured, returning an unhappy smile of his own to Bellamy. After a moment, he let his hand drop from Bellamy's hair. Bellamy didn't seem to mind it, but maybe it was the pain meds. Maybe it was ridiculous to be touching Bellamy like this, just hours after hunting Emerson down and killing him.
"Do you want me to let you rest?" Jasper asked.
Bellamy shook his head. "I want you to stay." He didn't look away from Jasper as he said it. Jasper didn't think he was imagining the tiny quiver in Bell's voice. Bell licked his lips. "Stay with me," he whispered.
Jasper nodded, then looked around him. "Okay," he said, then let go of Bellamy to drag a chair closer. When he sat, he reached up and took Bell's hand in his again. "I'm here."
***
Bellamy's nightmares were finally different the night after they fought Emerson. They didn't go away entirely, of course. Maybe they never would. But even though his nightmare was full of fighting and blood, there were no children. He saw Maya, but she wasn't burned. She was fighting alongside him. Alongside him and Jasper.
Bell woke from that nightmare breathing hard, but then he realized someone was holding his hand. He looked over and saw that Jasper had fallen asleep next to his bed.
Bell went back to sleep.
The next morning brought a visit from Kane, because Abby had of course gone straight to him, complaining about reckless behavior and who knew what all. She'd kicked Jasper out sometime before Bellamy woke, and that made him more furious than the rest of her heavy-handed behavior.
The difference between Kane and Abby was that Abby just looked at Bellamy like a wayward boy. Kane looked at him with respect. Kane knew the cost of everything Bellamy had done, and he appreciated it. He accepted it. Kane only stayed a few minutes before leaving.
By noon, Bellamy felt good enough to demand Abby let him leave, and she didn't really have any good reason to keep him. As soon he stepped out of the medical unit, Bell paused, squinting around. Where would he find Jasper?
He wondered how much time had passed, and figured Jasper probably would have gone to wash the blood and filth off of him as soon as he had the opportunity. But he was probably done with that by now. Jasper was probably avoiding Octavia right now, too, so Bellamy made his way to the tent Jasper shared with Monty on the nights Jasper wasn't sleeping in Bellamy's blankets.
He tapped on the flap, and Monty cleared his throat and told Bellamy to come in.
Bellamy ducked in and glanced around, finding only Monty inside. "Nice shiner," he said, giving Bellamy a small smile.
"Heh. Thanks." Bellamy gave him a crooked smile back. "If you're pissed at us, too, I'll understand," he said. "But he needed that. Even if it didn't give him the…the closure he thought it would." He paused, gauging Monty's expression, but Monty didn't seem pissed off. Of course, maybe Jasper hadn't told him. He cleared his throat. "And I care too much about Jasper to let him do it alone."
Monty watched Bellamy for a minute, then said, "You'd better care about him." He lifted his brows. "I was mad at first, but we talked earlier today, and we talked about… everything."
Bell swallowed, wondering if everything really meant everything. He thought it probably did, and Monty seemed okay with it--but Bell didn't really know what it was. He knew how he felt, but Jasper… How could Jasper ever really forgive him for Maya?
"Okay," he said, and nodded. "Good. Um. Where is he?"
"I thought he went back to see you," Monty said.
Bell relaxed a little. "Oh, Abby threw him out earlier, so she probably didn't let him back in. Maybe he's at my tent. Thanks, Monty."
He ducked back out of Monty's tent and scanned the camp with his gaze, then headed for his own tent. The closer he got, the faster his breath came. God, he hoped he hadn't made a complete fool of himself.
He paused outside his tent, took a couple of deep breaths, and then just as he was about to duck inside, Jasper put back the tent flap and stuck his head out.
"Oh!" Jasper gasped, surprised, then hovered where he was, as though he wasn't sure whether he should go back in or come out. "Abby let you out? I-- she wouldn't let me stay."
Bell smiled, feeling a little better. "I convinced her I was fine," he said. "I have a headache, big deal. I've had worse. I could use some tea, though. Want to join me?"
"Yeah," Jasper said immediately, sounding pleased, and slipped back into the tent, holding the flap for Bellamy. He seemed a little nervous. Or was that excited?
Bellamy followed him in and settled on the softest spot he could find, swallowing a groan. He had a couple of bruises he hadn't really noticed until he started walking around today. He fussed with the hot plate he'd commandeered ages ago until he had the water heating, then looked over at Jasper.
"Monty said you two talked."
Jasper shrugged. He was sitting closer to Bellamy than he needed to, but Bellamy enjoyed it. "Yeah. He'd heard about the way we came back yesterday, and wasn't happy about it."
Bell snorted. "I don't think 'happy' is the word I'd use for how you and I felt about it, either," he said, giving Jasper a warm look. "So everything's okay with you two?"
Jasper nodded. "Yeah, fine." he said, then he lifted a hand to brush away Bellamy's hair, ostensibly to look at Bellamy's cut, but his fingers were soft, gentle. "How are you feeling?"
"Just a headache." Bell licked his lips. "Maybe a few bruises." He drew in a breath. Say something, he told himself. But after a long moment, he just said, "So...are we good, Jas?"
That was dumb.
That seemed to surprise Jasper, and he drew away. Not a lot, but enough to make Bellamy wish he'd said something different. He hadn't even realized how close Jasper was until he felt the slight absence.
Jasper blinked at him a moment, his gaze open. "We have been for a while," Jasper said. "I thought." His fingers slid through Bellamy's hair, over his ear, then Jasper's hand landed on Bell's shoulder.
Jasper's face suddenly looked doubtful. "I'm sorry. I don't know what I'm doing."
Bell's heart sped up. "I didn't know how much of that was me just needing us to be okay," he admitted. He couldn't control the smile that stretched his lips. "I mean--" He paused and leaned in a little. "I need us to be okay. I want--"
I want us to be us. An us. How did you talk about something like this? He knew how to invite something physical, but that wasn't what he wanted with Jasper. Not all he wanted, anyway. Still, they had to start somewhere. And Jasper's hand was still on his shoulder, and the self-doubt on his face was growing more pronounced.
Bellamy leaned in and pressed his lips to Jasper's.
He felt Jasper tense slightly, drawing in a sharp breath, and then he relaxed again and leaned into the kiss, returning it eagerly. When their tongues met, Bellamy suppressed a groan, letting the feeling sweep his entire body.
Jasper pulled back, but he was just an inch from Bellamy's face, panting softly. "What is this, Bell?"
Bellamy knew what he was asking, but he had no idea how to put it in words. "I need you," he whispered, lifting a hand to brush through Jasper's short hair. He let it slide down to curl gently at the back of Jasper's neck. "In my life. With me. I--life is hell, but it's better with you."
He felt Jasper nod, and then Jasper leaned in and kissed him again. This time it was slower, but somehow even more needy, and it made Bellamy shiver. He felt Jasper's fingers tighten at his shoulder, and then Jasper moved closer so they were hip to hip. "I don't know how to do this," he murmured against Bellamy's lips, then kissed him again.
Bell hummed against Jasper's lips, slipping an arm around Jasper's waist and shifting to pull him closer. "Like I do?" he said breathlessly. "I mean, sex, sure. But this? You and me? I've never felt like this."
Jasper leaned to press his forehead to Bellamy's. "You and me," he repeated. "I like the sound of that." His hand gripped the arm that was around him, and the other that had been on Bellamy's shoulder was back to sifting through Bellamy's hair. Bellamy leaned into the touch, and Jasper ducked to kiss his neck.
Bellamy gasped and arched his neck, ignoring the way his cut eyebrow had started throbbing with that light pressure. "Jasper," he breathed, closing his eyes and focusing on the thrill of Jasper's lips against his skin. "Never thought this would happen."
Jasper huffed a breath against Bellamy's skin. "Me either," he breathed, then went back to kissing and licking at Bellamy's throat.
Bell shivered, chuckling, and stopped talking. He slid the hand on Jasper's neck back up to play with his hair. He wondered if Jasper would let it grow back out. He'd always liked Jasper's hair. He almost couldn't believe this was real. If someone had told him just a few weeks ago that Jasper would forgive him--more than forgive him--he wouldn't have believed them.
Stop thinking, he told himself, and leaned back. He ducked his head to capture Jasper's mouth with his own.
He had no idea how long they kissed. Not long enough. It would never be long enough. Bellamy was leaning so far back he had to prop himself up with one arm, the other still wrapped firmly around Jasper's waist. Jasper leaned against him and suddenly Bellamy's injured arm twinged and gave out.
Bell fell backward, Jasper half lying on top of him, and even though Bell was laughing, his arm was killing him.
Jasper pulled back quickly, looking flushed, and propped himself up enough that his weight wasn't on Bellamy anymore. "I'm sorry," he panted. "I forgot. I just--" he touched Bellamy's cheek, then gently over his arm near the cut.
Jasper darted a glance to where his fingers lay, just above the cut on Bellamy's arm, as if looking for evidence that they'd opened the cut again. "I got… carried away."
Bell grinned and, using his good arm, pushed himself up just enough to brush a light kiss against Jasper's lips. "I'm not complaining." He bit his lip, wondering if his grin was as stupid-looking as it felt. "I got carried away too."
He let his head drop back gently on the blanket. "But I am a little sore still."
"I know," Jasper blurted, looking worried. "I'm sorry. I should have waited."
Bell pressed a finger to Jasper's lips. "Stop apologizing," he ordered, smiling. "And c'mere. This shoulder feels fine." He held out his good arm in invitation.
Jasper bit his lips together and glanced to the side. "What about the tea?"
"Turn off the hot plate and forget the tea," Bell said. "We have plenty of time for tea later."
We have plenty of time. God, he hoped that was true.
He closed his eyes against the pain, and heard the hotplate click off, then Jasper was settling at his side. He pressed his face to Bellamy's neck, planting soft, tender kisses there that made Bellamy feel… well, different. Good. Better than it had ever felt before when he kissed someone or they kissed him.
He took a deep breath and let it out slowly, relishing this moment. They'd done what they said they would. He'd saved Jasper, and Jasper had saved him.
And tomorrow was soon enough to face the world. Together.
