[identity profile] severity-softly.livejournal.com posting in [community profile] geekystudmuffin
Title: Welcome to the Club
Authors: [livejournal.com profile] innerslytherin and [livejournal.com profile] severity_softly
Pairing: Hotch/Rossi
Rating: PG-13 (at most!)
Spoilers: mild season four spoilers
Word count: ~2,300
Summary: "That isn't a club I want to be part of," Aaron said.
"Too late," Dave replied.

Notes: RP format. Takes place immediately after the end of Paradise; a coda to the last conversation Hotch and Rossi shared in that episode.


It hadn't exactly been the nicest thing to say, but then David Rossi could never have been accused of particularly caring whether what he said was going to piss someone off or not. All three of his marriages had ended amicably enough, as much as divorces could, but Dave would never delude himself into thinking that his mouth hadn't had a lot to do with the state of disrepair that at least two of those three had fallen into. As much as he hoped Aaron wouldn't go the same way--would have been devastated, in fact, if Aaron did--he still, at times, had trouble censoring himself for the sake of people's feelings, even Aaron's.

"Welcome to the club." Aaron hadn't reacted. Not really. But he had walked away. And they didn't share an SUV on the way to the jet. And they hadn't sat together on the flight home either. So when they got back to Quantico, Dave went to his car without a word, and trusted that Aaron would come to him, in the case that he really needed to talk about what was said, or even chew Dave out. They didn't fight often, but it happened, and usually they were some of the most cathartic conversations they had.

Aaron had spent the past several hours seesawing between being furious at himself and being furious at Dave. Of course, every time either emotion got too strong, the guilt rose up to swamp it, and he started all over at just plain miserable. He was starting to think he'd lost whatever edge he'd had that made him a good profiler. He'd screwed up in New York, he'd screwed up in Colorado, and on this case he'd talked to the damn unsub while the missing couple was on the property. He didn't care what Dave said, Aaron didn't make mistakes like that. He conveniently ignored the fact that the unsub had known about forensic countermeasures and that a large number of unsubs were interviewed at least once by law enforcement prior to their identification as the perpetrator.

He sat in his car for a long time, knowing that if he went to Dave's there would be an argument, but knowing that if he went home, he would just be miserable and alone. Neither sounded fun, but at least with Dave, he knew there would be making up after the argument. He finally sighed and turned toward his lover's house.

When he got there, he let himself in and headed for the kitchen, where he was unsurprised to find Dave pouring two drinks. Dave knew him better than anyone. "That isn't a club I want to be part of," he said.

Dave closed the whiskey bottle and put it back in the cabinet. He turned from the counter and leaned against it a moment, watching Aaron, one corner of his mouth pulling up in an almost smirk, though the tinge of understanding in his eyes kept it from forming into a full one. "Too late," he said.

"You're acting like it's about time I failed at something," Aaron accused. It wasn't precisely fair, but it was how he felt.

"No, I'm trying to make you understand that failure is normal," Dave said. "And that you're not immune. And I'd really rather you not put so much pressure on yourself that you give yourself a stroke; I'm too old to find someone else to keep my bed warm at night," he added lightly, crossing the room to sit at the table and sliding the second glass of whiskey across it in front of the opposite chair.

Aaron snorted and went to sit across from Dave. "Does that mean you're only keeping me around because it's too much effort to look for a replacement?" he said, knowing that wasn't the case. He took a large sip of whiskey and sighed. "That woman--that couple--went through hell because I was too slow. Failure may be normal, but in our job it's unacceptable."

"In our job, it's unavoidable, Aaron." Dave nursed his drink for a moment. "And they're alive. What he did to them? Was despicable, yes, but not your fault."

"It wasn't my fault, but I was there, Dave! I could have stopped it sooner if I'd realized I was talking to him!" Aaron rubbed his fingertips hard against his forehead and closed his eyes. "How could I not have known?"

"He lied. Plain and simple, and he was apparently good at it," Dave countered. "And most unsubs are interviewed at least once before they're caught. You know that, but I suppose you're ignoring it in favor of beating yourself up." Dave sipped his drink. "It's not a very healthy pastime, and it's starting to get a little fucking old, to be honest."

"He shouldn't have been good enough at lying to fool me," Aaron said, shaking his head. "We got interrupted and I let it distract me, thinking we had so many places to go..." He frowned. "I should have known."

"So he seemed normal. If you'd stayed, he would have continued to lie. It happens."

"Yeah, he would have..." Aaron trailed off and sighed, feeling exhausted. "God, Dave, can't you just be sympathetic for once in your fucking life?"

Dave's eyebrows lifted and he shifted in his seat, taking another long drink and eying Aaron over the rim of his glass. That actually sent a little spark of anger through Dave because he had tried sympathy. He'd done his best to take care of Aaron after New York. He'd encouraged him to take some time off. He'd been there practically holding Aaron in front of the whole team when Aaron had nearly deafened himself. And now? Now he was fucking tired of being sympathetic. "That is completely unfair," he said, his voice taking on an edge of warning.

Aaron glared back, his anger flaring again. "Sometimes I don't want to be talked out of being miserable, I just want you to hold me," he snapped.

"I've done that!" Dave's eyes narrowed. "I nearly held you in front of everyone in Lower Canaan, and I've been doing it since New York! Sometimes, you need someone to kick you in the shins, and no one else will do it. Sometimes, you make me want to shoot you when you're so fucking stupid!"

Aaron jerked back, staring at Dave in shock, but after several heartbeats he slumped back down and began to laugh quietly. "That's one of the things I love about you, Dave. You're never afraid to rip me a new one if you think I need it." He took a long sip of his whiskey and shook his head. "I just...I feel like I'm losing my edge. I've been off my game since we got to New York."

Dave felt his shoulders relax, and after a moment, he put his glass down on the table. "Aaron," he said, his voice almost too quiet, too gentle, after what he'd just said. "This self-flagellating has got to stop, or you'll never get your edge back. You're the best SAC I've ever seen, but you're human, and if you keep beating yourself up, you'll be out of the BAU before you know it. And you'll lose part of yourself in the process, part of your soul, because I know it means that much to you. You have to let it go and keep moving forward because the only other direction is backwards, and I can't watch you do that to yourself. I won't."

Aaron slumped down further in his seat, leaning on the table and trying not to look as defeated as he felt. After a moment he realized how useless it was to pretend with Dave, of all people. "It can't be healthy that I need you this much," he murmured. He slid his hand across the table for Dave to take, hoping he would understand.

Dave watched him for a moment, and then reached over and curled his fingers around Aaron's hand. "You've always needed someone." He brushed his thumb along Aaron's hand. "That's not a weakness either."

"Thank you for understanding me," Aaron murmured, looking up at him. "And for encouraging me when I need it, and kicking my ass when I need that." His lips curled faintly. "Apparently I have a bad memory."

Dave's lips twitched, and he gave Aaron's hand a squeeze. "Sometimes I think you don't want to remember; you seem to like wallowing."

"Maybe I do," Aaron admitted. Guilt was easy, that was the problem. Doing anything constructive with it was harder.

Dave smiled a bit, then said, "Next time I won't be so nice." He finished his drink, and then stood, not letting go of Aaron's hand. "It's early, but I think a warm bed is called for."

Aaron stood, too, and smiled more warmly at Dave. "I definitely agree. I need an early night."

Dave pulled Aaron closer and brushed his lips against his. "Go," he murmured, and then pulled away to put the glasses in the dishwasher.

"Come with me," Aaron countered, moving with him and sliding one hand down Dave's back.

"Needy," Dave complained, but he was smiling as he put the glasses up. He turned and slid his hand into the top of Aaron's pants, then tugged him along to the bedroom by his belt.

"You knew that," Aaron said, smiling as he followed. Being yelled at shouldn't make him feel so much better, but it never failed with Dave. When they reached the bedroom, he pressed against Dave's back, kissing his ear. "Will you wear the maroon striped pajamas?" he asked. "They're my favorite."

Dave snorted and turned in Aaron's arms to kiss him. "You're an idiot, and you're lucky to have me," he said warmly, though he usually felt like he was probably the luckier of the two of them. He started tugging Aaron's tie off.

"I know," Aaron said meekly, and kissed him again. He nipped Dave's lower lip. "That probably explains why I love you," he added in a sly tone, and started undressing.

"Probably," Dave agreed, smirking, and started pulling off his own clothes as he walked to the drawer and got out the pajamas Aaron requested.

Aaron couldn't fight the smile that spread across his face as he got his own pajamas out of his assigned drawer and got ready for bed. Dave would never admit it, but he was actually a sweet, loving man under his gruff exterior. Aaron had known that for years, of course, but it was nice to experience it fully now that their time had come. He brushed his teeth quickly and climbed in bed, watching Dave fussing with things as he finished getting ready for bed.

Dave brushed his teeth and straightened a few things, and then climbed into bed, wrapping his arms around Aaron and pressing his face to Aaron's neck. "I think the solid black ones are nicer."

"Huh?" Aaron snuggled against Dave, melting into his embrace. He was so tired, and this felt so good.

"The black ones are nicer than the maroon striped," Dave murmured, kissing Aaron's jaw.

"The black ones are good for sexy," Aaron allowed, closing his eyes and brushing his hand along Dave's arm. "But the maroon striped ones are my favorite, because even though I do think you're sexy, I love you because you're comfortable and fit me better than anyone."

"Oh, great, you're going to be sappy now," Dave complained, grinning. After a few breaths he lifted his head to kiss Aaron thoroughly.

"Shut up, you know you like it," Aaron said, breathlessly, when the kiss ended. He stroked his fingers through Dave's hair and kissed him again. "And if you didn't want me to get all sappy on you, you shouldn't have said you want to shoot me sometimes. You know what that does to me."

Dave's grin somehow went wider, and then he couldn't stop himself from laughing. He shifted to roll them so he was on top of Aaron and kissed him again, pulling back to nip lightly at his lip. Another kiss, this one deeper, and then he was breathless again. "I love you," be whispered.

"I'm glad," Aaron murmured, sliding one leg around Dave's. He gazed warmly up at Dave, thinking there was nowhere in the world he'd rather be at this moment. He wrapped an arm around Dave's waist and kissed him hungrily.

"Mmm," Dave hummed, pressing down against Hotch before he could stop himself. "You know, you're not getting fucked tonight unless you promise to at least try not to be so hard on yourself," he murmured. He knew better than to ask for Aaron to simply not be hard on himself.

Aaron kissed Dave again, arching up against him. "Really?" he murmured, sounding disappointed. "I can try."

Dave sucked in a breath, brushing his lips against Aaron's. After a moment, he pulled back to meet Aaron's gaze, and, God, Aaron was beautiful, the light from the street lamps outside the windows barely illuminating his face. "I can't lose you. I've already done what I came back to do, and I don't want the BAU without you." He stroked his fingers through Aaron's hair and kissed him again, gently. "I mean it."

The words, and that expression on Dave's face, melted Aaron's heart. He kissed Dave tenderly and smiled. "I guess I'll have to listen to you, then," he murmured. "I suppose you're older and wiser, you might know what you're talking about."

Dave nodded, and gave Aaron another slow kiss, then broke away to grumble, "Not that much older."

Aaron laughed and slid his hand down to cup Dave's ass. "Prove it," he murmured against Dave's lips. "Old man."

Dave wedged a leg between Aaron's and smiled against his skin. "My pleasure."

Date: 2008-10-26 09:35 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mcgarrygirl78.livejournal.com
Why so I love Hotch/Rossi so much? Because of you guys that's why : )

This one is funny, angsty, sexy, and cute....so adorable. I love Rossi being gruff and tender all in the same exact moment and Hotch just melting into him. Gah, so good. Thank you.

Date: 2008-10-26 11:20 pm (UTC)
innerslytherin: (Default)
From: [personal profile] innerslytherin
Aw, thanks! There's something about this pairing--it's like my comfort pairing of the CM fandom. They have so much history, it feels warm and fuzzy. :) I'm glad you like this!

Date: 2008-10-26 09:54 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dunderklumpen.livejournal.com
Wonderful story. I love the chemistry you both have when writing Hotch/Rossi.
I waited for such a fic because the "welcome to the club" quote was to good for not using it. I'm on a "welcome to the club"-story myself although no Hotch/Rossi:)

Date: 2008-10-26 10:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dunderklumpen.livejournal.com
Dave was a little bit softer than I know him but I like that very much. - So... who is usually who? *curious*

Date: 2008-10-26 11:20 pm (UTC)
innerslytherin: (Default)
From: [personal profile] innerslytherin
Thanks! I'm glad you liked this. That little exchange between Hotch and Rossi was so great, we just had to write fic going on from there. :)

Date: 2008-10-26 10:06 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rhea-carlysse.livejournal.com
I really needed something like this, right now. Thank you, this is wonderful *__* I am so in love with this fic it is scary.

"Come with me," Aaron countered, moving with him and sliding one hand down Dave's back.

"Needy," Dave complained, but he was smiling as he put the glasses up. He turned and slid his hand into the top of Aaron's pants, then tugged him along to the bedroom by his belt.

"You knew that," Aaron said, smiling as he followed. Being yelled at shouldn't make him feel so much better, but it never failed with Dave. When they reached the bedroom, he pressed against Dave's back, kissing his ear. "Will you wear the maroon striped pajamas?" he asked. "They're my favorite."

Dave snorted and turned in Aaron's arms to kiss him. "You're an idiot, and you're lucky to have me," he said warmly, though he usually felt like he was probably the luckier of the two of them. He started tugging Aaron's tie off.


seriously, the love? It knows no bounds *__*

Date: 2008-10-26 10:51 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rhea-carlysse.livejournal.com
... I was grinning like an idiot for five minutes after reading it xD I wish I could come up with a better review for it, but it's late and I think "perfect" covers it XD

Date: 2008-10-26 11:21 pm (UTC)
innerslytherin: (1cm - mom and dad)
From: [personal profile] innerslytherin
Thanks! I'm glad you liked the pajamas thing. I think it's simultaneously adorable and sexy that Rossi wears pajamas. :)

Date: 2008-10-26 11:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] northern-rain.livejournal.com
Love Hotch/Rossi so much - so pleased to find there is fic :o)

Great work.

Date: 2008-10-26 11:21 pm (UTC)
innerslytherin: (1cm - hero hotch)
From: [personal profile] innerslytherin
Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed it!

Date: 2008-10-26 11:29 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] the-minx-17.livejournal.com
You had me with the first line. It's that little personality quirk of his that I love and having tossed out so blatantly is fantastic. And while I love your Hotch/Rossi... I'm waiting for more Reid/Rossi. *g*

Date: 2008-10-26 11:32 pm (UTC)
innerslytherin: (Default)
From: [personal profile] innerslytherin
*G* That first line was all [livejournal.com profile] severity_softly. I'm glad you liked this. Dave is very appealing to me because he's so gruff and arrogant on the outside, and yet how kind and even tender he can be. :)

Date: 2008-10-27 12:22 am (UTC)
cordeliadelayne: (seduced by the terrible twosome)
From: [personal profile] cordeliadelayne
Aw, this was lovely! I really liked the way the conversation flowed between them - there were some really good observations about their characters and how they fit. *happy sigh*

Date: 2008-10-27 12:24 am (UTC)
innerslytherin: (severity/innerslytherin)
From: [personal profile] innerslytherin
Thanks! :D I'm glad you liked this. Rossi/Hotch is my comfort pairing. :)

Date: 2008-10-27 02:06 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jujuberry136.livejournal.com
This was great! I loved the Rossi voice throughout the whole thing, and the pajama conversation was just the cutest thing ever!

LOVE IT!

Thanks for sharing :D

Date: 2008-10-27 02:21 am (UTC)
innerslytherin: (1cm - hi rossi)
From: [personal profile] innerslytherin
Thanks! *G* I guess [livejournal.com profile] severity_softly and I are going to have to switch roles more often. ;)

Date: 2008-10-27 10:08 am (UTC)
ext_3277: I made this (Default)
From: [identity profile] laura-trekkie.livejournal.com
Lovely. Hotch really is an expert at the brooding thing, so I'm glad he's got Dave and his own brand of sympathy to snap him back out of it :). This had some funny moments and some poignant ones, and yes, even a little bit of sap. Great stuff.

Laura.

Date: 2008-10-28 12:38 am (UTC)
innerslytherin: (1cm - mom and dad)
From: [personal profile] innerslytherin
Hotch IS an expert brooder, isn't he? :) I'm glad you liked it!

Date: 2008-10-27 10:46 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] delphini-2.livejournal.com
"Welcome to the club". That line made me feel icky too. I'm glad you fixed it. Thankyou :)

This was comfortable and sweet and I loved it! Nice ending too. *g*

Date: 2008-10-28 12:38 am (UTC)
innerslytherin: (Default)
From: [personal profile] innerslytherin
Thanks! *hugs*

Date: 2008-10-27 07:06 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ivy-b.livejournal.com
You just gotta love how comfortable the two of them are with each other. I'm used to reading 'first time' fics with those two, so to see them in the middle of a relationship was a little jarring and OOC to me- but I really liked it a lot! Rossi threatening to shoot Hotch and Hotch actually liking it- LOL! Now that I think about it, between Hotch being a good shot with 2 guns and Rossi hunting stuff, the two might just have some connection/affinity for guns as well. I can just imagine the two of them at the range...

"He'd screwed up in New York, he'd screwed up in Colorado,"

New York I'm guessing you're talking about Meyham, right? What was in Colorado again?

Like I said, great fic, lots of funny and angsty moments and it's good that your Hotch has Rossi, cause I don't know what will get Show-Hotch out of his funk, considering he doesn't have anyone right now.

Date: 2008-10-28 12:37 am (UTC)
innerslytherin: (Default)
From: [personal profile] innerslytherin
*G* Colorado was "Minimal Loss". He didn't screw up so much as he tried to ignore Dave after putting him in charge of the negotiations. :)

I'm glad you liked this. I think for Severity and I it's easy to write them already together because we have a huge long "how they got together" fic that we're trying to get betaed and ready to post. *G*

Date: 2008-10-27 10:18 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ayalightfire.livejournal.com
Thank you guys so much for this! I´ve been looking more and more frantically for Hotch/Rossi pairings, but those are really not easy to find. all the better that you two write with/about them.
Well my english sucks, but i hope you get my meaning!
BABA
Aya

Date: 2008-10-28 12:37 am (UTC)
innerslytherin: (Default)
From: [personal profile] innerslytherin
Thanks! I'm glad you liked this. It's a great pairing. And your English is fine! :)

Date: 2008-11-02 07:27 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] carinascott.livejournal.com
Okay, first let me say this. YOU GUYS ROCK!! Seriously, you do. Because until I read this fic the idea of Rossi/Hotch (or Rossi and anyone for that matter), completely squicked me. I'm not completely sure why, as both men are sexy (I have a SERIOUS thing for older men :P, but it did.

Maybe because I couldn't *see* it. Hotch is so full of angst much of the time and Rossi is so gruff, and it just doesn't *seem* like a good match. But it works. Because Rossi is gruff and abrasive, but he's also tender and caring. AT THE SAME TIME. Boggles the mind, but it's just I *so* true to his character, that it works and makes me smile. And Aaron is still full of angst, but he's also so...free is the only word that comes to mind. With Haley, I always felt like he was cloistered, trying to fit into her *ideal husband* box, until he was practically suffocating. With Rossi, he's not contained. He's free to be emotional, irrational, and pissed off. Rossi calls him on it, but he doesn't try to make him feel guilty for it. Maybe that's why they work. Hmm? Maybe I answered my own question.

Anyway, thanks for sharing your wonderful talent with us! this was a great read

Date: 2008-11-02 06:24 pm (UTC)
innerslytherin: (Default)
From: [personal profile] innerslytherin
Thanks! :D Rossi/Hotch is actually a really comfortable, warm relationship for me. It's like comfort-fic for me. :D So I'm glad you liked this, and that you can "see" the ship now, because...well, we've got more to post soon! ^__^

I agree with you re: Haley. She really did suffocate him with her "perfect husband" demands, and he needs someone now who won't do that, who takes him for exactly who and what he is.

Also, your Garcia icon rocks. :D

Date: 2008-11-02 07:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] carinascott.livejournal.com
I can't wait! I find that I'm looking for more Hotch/Rossi fics today so if you have any recs, please point me to 'em.

Yeah, Hotch/Haley was never one of my favorite canon relationships. And it's not because it was a het relationship. I can usually stand a relationship like that, especially if it's already established when I begin watching the show. But the demands and guilt trips she placed on Aaron just made me cringe, and my view of her quickly dwindled.

As for the icon, I'm glad you liked it! Thanks

-Carina

Date: 2008-11-02 07:19 pm (UTC)
innerslytherin: (Default)
From: [personal profile] innerslytherin
[livejournal.com profile] rhea_carlysse has written some utterly GORGEOUS Hotch/Rossi fics (she's the reason we started writing it, actually) and I think her English ones are here: http://community.livejournal.com/cm_slash/tag/hotch/rossi

Yeah, I'm not anti-het, as I adore Garcia/Kevin, and JJ/Will works fine for me, but Haley was never very nice about the job. Then again, I do like the story line, as far as showing how their job is hard on relationships -- what I've read by the real FBI profilers talks a lot about the breakdown of marriages and the mental stresses due to the job. But yeah, I was never a Haley fan.

Date: 2008-11-02 07:21 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] carinascott.livejournal.com
Thanks for the rec, I'll be certain to check them out!

Date: 2008-11-04 12:20 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] yoghi06.livejournal.com
.....*still speechless with all the guhhh and awww*
I just love your story (stories) and especially this pairing ...you just made my day *goofy smile*...well actually my night and I should really go to bed now ^^° couldn't stop after I saw there was a new story....and well I will stop babbling now - running too low on sleep ,yep, and just ignore my bad english plz *g*...
Just hope you guys never stop writing *lol*
*shutting up now*
night ;)

Date: 2008-11-04 12:33 am (UTC)
innerslytherin: (Default)
From: [personal profile] innerslytherin
Thanks! :D Your comment made me smile.

Date: 2010-04-08 11:42 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hotch-fan.livejournal.com
Really wonderful and sweet story. Love it !
Rossi/Hotch is definitely my favorite slash pairing, and I love reading anything with this pairing.

Thanks for sharing :)

Date: 2010-04-10 11:49 am (UTC)
innerslytherin: (Default)
From: [personal profile] innerslytherin
Thanks! I'm glad you liked it. :) There should definitely be more Hotch/Rossi out there.

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Fanfic by Innerslytherin and Severity_Softly

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