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geekystudmuffinTitle: Baby, It's Cold Outside (2/3)
Authors:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
innerslytherin and severity_softly
Pairing: Hotch/Reid
Rating: NC-17/FRAO
Word count: ~18,000
Summary: When Aaron invites Spencer to spend Christmas with him, things don't go as planned.
Notes: Self-beta'd; feel free to point out any mistakes. Written before The Instincts/Memoriam, so now it's mildly AU in regards to Spencer's backstory. Merry Christmas!
PART ONE
Spencer had learned to drive in Nevada. Which was why he hated driving in Virginia winters. He hated everything about Virginia winters, actually. He froze in the best of times, wore cardigans in Texas heat. He was wearing about ten layers of clothes--or it felt that way--on Christmas Eve as he drove back to the BAU at 1:30, and, due to his general distaste for driving in snow, and his lack of skill at it, he was unsurprised, even if he was a bit shaken, when he slid off the road and into a concrete barrier.
At least he'd only been driving about ten miles an hour on the interstate. He must have hit it just right, though, because the car wouldn't start after he crashed it. One government SUV down. Mom would be so proud. He sat in the driver's seat for a good ten minutes cursing at the car, and then finally called the wrecker. He wasn't far from the BAU, so once he hung up the phone, instructing the service to just tow it to the nearest shop, he started walking. In the snow, it would probably take just as long for the wrecker to get to him as it would to walk, and at least if he kept moving, he wouldn't keep losing precious body heat.
By the time he got to the BAU, he felt frozen, and he walked into the office, at least twenty minutes late, shivering violently. "I think my appendages are going to fall of," he told Aaron once he got inside.
It only hit him a moment later that Aaron wasn't working; he was sitting at Spencer's desk, looking slightly impatient. Spencer gave him an odd look, then started peeling off his gloves and scarf. The bullpen was deserted; Spencer supposed they were the only ones alone enough to work this late on Christmas Eve with a snowstorm moving in.
"I was beginning to think you'd gotten lost," Aaron said, and Spencer could hear the slight reproach in the quiet words. All the same, he took Spencer's scarf from him so Spencer could struggle with the buttons on his coat.
"Have you looked outside lately? It's practically a blizzard out there! I ended up having to walk from the interstate." Spencer finally got the last button undone and flailed an arm to get out of his coat.
Aaron moved to help him with it, frowning. "Really? I haven't been out since lunch, and I went early. There wasn't anything on the ground then."
"It's been snowing for the past two hours," Spencer retorted, feeling warmed by the tacit assistance. "There must be six inches on the ground already, and the radio says we could get up to a foot."
Aaron frowned and craned his neck in a vain attempt to look out his office windows as Spencer pulled off his hat, his hair spilling in an unruly pile until he fixed it. "Can I borrow your pockets?" he said, only half joking. Aaron huffed a small laugh then, and Spencer knew he shouldn't do it, but he grabbed Aaron's hand and closed Aaron's fingers around his own. "Freezing."
Spencer didn't look up, but he saw Aaron's eyebrows lift and heard him suck in a breath at the cold in his hand. It was stupid, Spencer knew, but he'd been tempted to press the back of his hand to Aaron's neck, which would have been stupider.
Aaron stood unmoving for a moment, and then started, slowly, to rub Spencer's hands between his. Spencer knew his hands were one of his better features. He had long, graceful fingers--probably the only really graceful thing about him--and he wasn't afraid to use them to his advantage. Still, he hadn't entirely expected the utter concentration Aaron devoted to warming his fingers up.
Aaron's brows drew together and he bent his head over the hand trapped in both of his own, blowing warm breath over the skin. "Why did you have to walk in from the interstate?" he asked, his voice quiet.
Oh, this had been a stupid idea. Spencer had to swallow before he could speak, and when he did, his voice was barely more than a whisper. "I wrecked the SUV."
"What?" Aaron's hands tightened around his, that penetrating gaze lifting to study Spencer's face. "What happened?"
"I, ah...well, I'm not used to the snow. I wasn't going fast, but the SUV wouldn't start after I hit the barrier wall."
"Are you all right?" Aaron seemed to realize then that he was still clutching Spencer's hand; he looked down and started rubbing again lightly.
"Yeah, I'm fine," Spencer said, though he was starting to feel rather distracted.
Aaron nodded and stopped, then squeezed Spencer's hand again, his thumb rubbing along the top of Spencer's hand. Spencer didn't suppress the resulting shiver, the cold made sure he couldn't.
"Other hand please," Aaron said softly.
Spencer bit his lips together and offered it, then just licked his lips and watched Aaron's hands work over his own. He cleared his throat once he thought he could speak. "We should probably leave before it gets too bad. This might actually prove a little futile." He paused, then swallowed. "But thanks. It, ah, feels good."
Aaron looked up at him, a rare smile on his face. "Maybe we should check the road report first," he said, and squeezed Spencer's hand lightly before letting go. He pulled his cell phone out and dialed, going over to the window as he spoke. Spencer couldn't hear what he said, but he saw Aaron lift a hand and start running it distractedly through his hair.
Spencer sat in his desk chair and tried valiantly to make his heart calm down and stop jumping the way it was. Just because Aaron had rubbed his hands--almost tenderly, insisted a little voice in his head--it didn't mean anything. Aaron was a father, after all. He was used to taking care of people. Still, Spencer couldn't suppress the flutter of hope in his stomach.
After a few minutes Aaron came back, looking grim. "They've declared a state of emergency," he said, watching Spencer's face. "It looks like we're stuck here."
Spencer's shoulders dropped in disappointment, and after a moment, he just collapsed back into his seat. "Damn it," he mumbled, and glanced around the BAU. "I guess this was where we were going to be anyway, right? If you hadn't offered to cook for me."
When he looked up, Aaron was frowning. "I'm sorry," he murmured.
Spencer frowned too. "It's not your fault."
"I know that, but I was looking forward to it."
Spencer had been hoping, best case scenario, for wine and egg nog in front of Aaron's fireplace. If Aaron had a fireplace. Of course, that wasn't going to happen, but he at least would have just liked to see Aaron's home. He nodded and smiled faintly. "Me too."
"I wonder if there's anyone else in the building," Aaron said, looking around. The entire BAU was empty, and Spencer couldn't recall seeing anyone on his way up. Aaron sighed. "I have some shelf stable meals in my office," he said after a moment. "There might be turkey and dressing in a couple of them."
"Not exactly an ideal Christmas dinner," Spencer said, and pressed his lips together. He hoped that didn't sound like a criticism.
Aaron sighed and shook his head. "I was going to make a roast," he said, his voice tinged with regret. "And mashed potatoes and beef gravy."
"Stop, you're making me hungry," Spencer joked. He was pleased when Aaron laughed. He thought sometimes people didn't always realize when he was joking. Then again, sometimes people thought he was joking when he wasn't.
"I suppose you skipped lunch," Aaron said.
"Um. I ate...something...earlier..." Spencer said vaguely.
Aaron laughed. "Well, we're stuck here. We might as well get comfortable and have a meal," he said. "I have the couch and chairs in my office. I could probably find a video of a fireplace on YouTube. It isn't quite the full Hotchner holiday experience, but..."
Spencer grinned, and then before he realized he was about to say something he shouldn't, the words were out. "Maybe next year."
Aaron was quiet for a moment, but when Spencer looked back up, Aaron was still smiling. His expression was a little curious, though, and Spencer swallowed and pursed his lips. "Let's, ah, go see what we have," he said, wanting to gloss it over, and pushed from his chair to go to Aaron's office.
"Yeah." Aaron led the way back to his office and rummaged through the credenza. "A blanket, that'll be useful," he said, tossing it at Spencer in a way that, if this were anyone but Aaron, would have been playful. "Applesauce, fruit cups, chicken noodle soup...Here, two turkey and dressing shelf stable meals." He straightened, holding them, and gave Spencer a look.
"Well, at least we won't starve," Spencer said, though the idea of wine and real mashed potatoes sounded much better. "Do you really have a fireplace?"
"Yeah, well, a gas one. It doesn't smell as nice as wood, but it's cozy. Sorry, I'm afraid the closest we'll get here is if we break into Strauss' office to steal one of her lighters."
"I have one, actually, but I think my thumb would get tired after a while," Spencer said.
Aaron smiled softly. "Like I said, there's always YouTube."
"Aaron Hotchner on Youtube," Spencer said, and Aarons' smile widened just slightly. Spencer opened the blanket and wrapped it around himself. "Let me get my phone first so I can take video. No one would believe me otherwise."
"Just remember, if you try to incriminate me in anything, you'll have to put up with Dave or Morgan leading the team," Aaron said. He picked up the two meals and headed for the microwave in the kitchenette. "We should brew some fresh coffee, too," he said over his shoulder as Spencer followed him. "I know it's not as good as egg nog."
"Just wait, I'll make egg nog for you someday and you'll have to admit you like it," Spencer said. Then he felt his face heat. He was flirting with his boss.
Aaron glanced over his shoulder at Spencer, his expression unreadable. "I suppose I ought to confess," he said. "I did like egg nog, when I was younger. I drank a little too much at a Christmas party one year, and...well, let's just say I've never been fond of it since then."
"Aaron Hotchner drunk," Spencer said. "That's, ah, another interesting thought."
"I wasn't always old and boring," Aaron said. He looked a little thoughtful, and Spencer tried to figure out if he'd been too obvious. There was a fine line, he knew.
"You're not boring at all," Spencer said quietly.
Aaron started making coffee silently, and Spencer watched him for a moment, wondering what he was thinking. Once the coffee maker was making that funny sucking sound that meant it was starting to brew, Aaron turned to look at Spencer, a circumspect frown on his face. "What's my worst quality, Spencer?"
Spencer's eyebrows lifted, and he blinked at Aaron for a moment. Where had that come from? It was surprising enough that it took Spencer a moment to find words, and then he just stammered, "Wh-what?"
"What's my worst quality?" Aaron repeated. "I asked everyone once... and you didn't get to answer."
Spencer stared at him a moment, still a little confused, and then pulled the blanket tighter around his shoulders, feeling a little on the spot. He shifted and chewed his lip for a moment. "Ah, I guess... that you hold yourself to standards you would never expect anyone else to meet," he said after a long pause.
He could feel Aaron watching him for for the span of several heartbeats, and then Aaron sighed and Spencer looked up. Aaron was looking at the floor, but his expression wasn't upset. It was almost appreciative.
"Why do you keep a blanket in your office?" Spencer asked.
Aaron's lips pulled into a self-deprecating smile. "There are nights I'm here late enough that there's no point going home."
Spencer's lips curled up. "You just proved my point."
Aaron nodded, but still looked almost peaceful. After a moment, he turned and started to unwrap the meals and put them in the microwave. "Why do you have a lighter so handy?"
Spencer smiled at Aaron's back, then shrugged, even though Aaron wasn't looking at him. "Physics magic."
"I should have known," Aaron murmured, but he sounded amused. "I'm glad to hear you haven't suddenly taken up smoking." He was silent for a moment, watching the tray spin slowly in the microwave. "My father smoked. My real father."
Spencer swallowed. Aaron never talked about his father. He didn't talk about his personal life at all, really, except Jack. He was obviously very proud of Jack. "Your...real father?" Spencer prompted, watching him. A stray shudder of cold took him suddenly and he hunched into the blanket.
Aaron's shoulders hunched a little, too, and Spencer wondered if he'd gone too far. Then slowly they relaxed again. Aaron murmured, "He drank, too. That was really the only time he was dangerous." After a moment, he shrugged. "My mom left him when I was six. Sean's my half-brother."
Spencer wasn't sure what to say, so he didn't say anything. After a moment he rested his hand lightly on Aaron's shoulder, though, and he was grateful when Aaron didn't shrug him off.
Aaron silently pulled one meal out of the microwave and put in the other, and Spencer let his hand slip just a little lower, over one shoulder blade. He curled his fingers just slightly, just enough for soothing pressure. Aaron sucked in a breath, and Spencer cleared his throat. "Why did you tell me that?"
There was another long inhalation, and in this one, Spencer could almost hear a slight shake. Aaron turned to face him, and Spencer left his hand until it slid over Aaron's shoulder, then dropped it. "I'm not sure. Maybe... I just want you to know me." Aaron shrugged.
Spencer bit his lip and looked at the floor. Somehow those words carried a special weight that was both amazing and wonderful, but also overwhelming. "My mom hates Christmas."
"You don't have to reciprocate," Aaron said quickly, and Spencer looked up at him.
"I know." He shifted on his feet and looked away. "Christmas was pretty normal when I was little. Trees, Santa, though I never believed in Santa, ever," he said, a sad smile crossing his face. "Eggnog." He huffed a little laugh that didn't sound quite right. "There's, ah, a prodromal stage... of Schizophrenia; can last sometimes over two years. Things were a little strange sometimes... back then, but not bad before..." He could see Aaron's head tilt, trying to catch Spencer's eyes, but Spencer didn't look, he just tightened his hands on the blanket.
"And now she hates Christmas and that's why you're here."
Spencer bit his lip and nodded.
He heard Aaron take a slow breath. After a moment he said, "I'm glad you're here, whatever the reason." The words were spoken quietly, but warmly. Spencer looked up and caught his breath at the way Aaron was looking at him. Suddenly he wished they had been able to go to Aaron's house.
"I guess I'm glad, too," he murmured, holding Aaron's gaze.
The microwave dinged and they both turned to look at it. Aaron pulled out the meal, then tilted his head at the coffee maker. "The coffee ready yet?" he asked. "We can eat in my office."
Spencer cleared his throat. "Yeah." He went to get the coffee, stuffing sugar packets into his pockets so he could carry the creamer. When he looked back at Aaron, Aaron had stacked the meals on top of each other and gotten plastic silverware and napkins. He inclined his head towards his office and they both headed that way, where Aaron headed for his desk once they got inside.
"Not there," Spencer said quickly, before Aaron get to his desk, and Aaron turned to look at him, his expression curious. "It'll feel too much like work. We could... sit on the floor?" He hadn't meant it as a question, but it had come out that way anyway.
There was amusement in Aaron's eyes, and Spencer liked to think there was a little bit of appreciation too. "Or you could take my chair."
Spencer huffed a small laugh, but Aaron just lifted his eyebrows.
"Mm... okay." Spencer headed around the other side of Aaron's desk and sat, then tried to figure out where to put the hot coffee pot, as he was afraid it would damage the desktop. After a moment, he rolled back and grabbed a stack of papers out of Aaron's printer to use as a makeshift hotplate.
Aaron sat across from him, settling in and smiling faintly at Spencer. "I hope you're properly impressed with my cooking skills," he said, and passed one of the microwave meals over to Spencer.
Spencer laughed. He loved Aaron's dry sense of humor and the way he could deliver the funniest lines deadpan. He liked to think maybe Aaron was glad Spencer appreciated his humor, but he knew that was probably just wishful thinking.
"I do think the wine would have improved this greatly, though," Aaron said after taking his first bite.
Spencer took a bite, too. It wasn't bad, but he imagined Aaron's cooking would have been far better. He felt another pang of regret that they weren't at Aaron's house, but at least Aaron wasn't acting at all as if they were still at work.
Spencer licked his lips and took another bite. He wasn't sure what to say, so he cleared his throat and said, "'O, how wonderfully acted Providence that on that day on which that sun was born, Christ should be born'. Saint Cyprian."
He glanced up, and Aaron blinked at him for a moment, then narrowed his eyes a bit. Spencer wasn't sure if he was confused or interested.
"The Romans-- Julius Caesar introduced the Julian calendar in 45 BC and December 25th was the day of the winter solstice, a celebration of the sun, over 240 years before the date was first referenced in Christian literature."
Aaron's eyebrows lifted.
"Seems more a, ah, blatant manipulation, trying to repress another groups religious practices, than an act of divine providence." He was becoming less and less sure of this line of conversation as he spoke; it occurred to him that while he knew Dave was Catholic, and Morgan was raised Christian, even if he also knew Morgan had lost his faith, he still had no clue what Aaron believed.
Aaron watched him for a moment longer, then glanced back down at his meal. "I've never thought it really mattered when he was born, so much as it mattered that he was born at all." He glanced up at Spencer again, and Spencer was relieved to see there was a glimmer of something that might be amusement in Aaron's eyes.
Spencer smiled a bit and took another bite of his food. "He was a cult leader, Hotch. Granted, all major religions start as cults, as a small band of devoted people, devoted to something considered insane by the general population. And as cults go, this one had positive intentions. But for all we know, he could have simply been... Schizophrenic, or-or Bipolar I, believing he was the son of God and hearing voices."
Aaron laughed quietly. "Or he could have been right. I read once that he had to have been one of three things, a liar, a lunatic, or who he claimed he was. I guess I just prefer to go on faith." He studied Spencer's face. "I remember you once said something to Morgan about not buying into the God thing."
"Yeah, if you believe in one, you have to believe in the other. Good can't exist without evil; you'd have no basis for comparison, for one thing." Spencer was glad Aaron was even willing to talk to him about this. Morgan had shut him down, and he knew better than to argue this with Dave. "And, honestly, what's more likely? Liar, lunatic, or Son of God? We see people like this. I spent three days in a compound with one of them earlier this year, and I have no doubt that Cryus was not a prophet."
Aaron's expression darkened at the mention of Benjamin Cyrus. "He was no prophet," he muttered. "But I guess the question is, do you believe in evil? Because like you said, if you believe in evil, you have to believe in good." He shrugged, not looking away from Spencer's face. At least he didn't look offended or angry by the topic of conversation. "It's a personal choice, and I guess personally, I'd rather it be true than not, so I choose to believe." He smiled faintly and shrugged.
Spencer nodded, not looking away from Aaron. "I can understand that." And he did, even if he didn't agree. He knew it was the sort of faith that let people sleep a little easier at night. "And how could I not believe in evil?"
Aaron's expression went thoughtful, and he sipped his coffee, watching Spencer over the rim of his mug. "Have you ever been to church?" he asked when he put his mug back down.
Spencer shook his head. "No, not for a service, but I hardly think it would change my opinion."
"Oh, I know that. I wouldn't have expected it would. I was just... curious."
A slow smile formed on Spencer's face, a little thrill running thorugh him. Aaron had said he wanted Spencer to know him. Aaron obviously wanted to know Spencer too. "My dad put in appearances on holidays, but my mother never believed either."
Aaron nodded. "It's funny, isn't it, how we seem to wind up completely embracing or completely rejecting what our parents try to impart to us?" His expression turned wry. "Of course it isn't as simple as that. Both my father and my stepfather were devout church-goers, but I've never known two people so different from each other."
Spencer wasn't entirely sure what to say. He nodded, waiting for Aaron to go on.
"My stepfather was a lawyer," Aaron said after a moment. "It was why I went into law. I could see his passion for it, for helping bring a little more justice into the world. For me, admiring him turned into emulating him. For Sean..." He shrugged. "Sean isn't interested in being like him, even though he loved Dad just as much as I did." He paused, then laughed. "Ah, families are funny. Sometimes I think about Jack and wonder how he's going to turn out..." He trailed off.
Spencer looked down at his meal, still not sure how to respond. Jack was always a subject the team tried to avoid; it was complicated, and everyone knew Aaron hated that he didn't see his son as often as he wanted to. "He has a wonderful father," he murmured after a moment. "A kind, compassionate father who loves him very much." He cleared his throat. "And a mother that loves him too," he said much faster. That was about the nicest thing he could manage to say about Haley, which was a shame because he'd liked her when he'd met her, but that was before he watched the divorce take its toll on Aaron.
Aaron looked like he knew or guessed Spencer's opinion of Haley, but he didn't say anything about it. "I think you have too high an opinion of me," he murmured instead, but his gaze on Spencer's face was warm. "Jack has a father he doesn't see enough of. The proof of love is in actions, not words. I can tell Jack I love him every day, but if he only sees me a few times a year..." He looked down, shaking his head. After a moment, he said, "Haley took him to Georgia for the holiday. To her parents' house."
Spencer watched Aaron, leaning toward him a little to prop his elbows on the desk. "He'll understand, especially when he's older. He'll see all the amazing, important work you do, and how much it's a part of you, and you're a part of it, and he'll understand." Spencer swallowed. "And calling him everyday, or even a few times a week, is an action a lot of people wouldn't take."
Aaron sighed and offered Spencer a faint smile. "Your parents divorced when you were young. Would you have understood better if your father did something like our job? I'd like to believe Jack will understand...and maybe he will, intellectually, but it doesn't make up for the fact that I'll miss his first day of school, or the first tooth he loses, or when he scores the winning basket in the championships." He rubbed a hand over his face, then laughed. "Listen to me! This is Christmas Eve and I'm just feeling sorry for myself." He leaned back in his chair. "Why don't you talk for a while?"
Spencer hesitated for a moment, then said, "I was ten. That makes a difference. I was used to him being there, and I watched everything crumble around me. Your situation isn't ideal, but it'll seem normal enough to him growing up. He won't resent you, and he'll understand it wasn't his fault later, and that you were there for him as much as you could be." Spencer swallowed hard. "I would have appreciated a phone call once in a while. Instead I got a card on my birthday and a card on Christmas with just a signature and money inside that usually just went to paying the bills mom forgot to pay." He shook his head and played with what was left of his food. "Maybe we should just change the subject. Might be the best course of action before we both start wallowing."
Aaron laughed again, the sound a little less doleful. "We could play hangman or tic tac toe, but I imagine you'd beat me at either. You probably know words I can't even spell."
Spencer shrugged. He would suggest chess, but he wasn't sure what had happened to Gideon's chess set, and he wasn't sure if he really wanted to play chess with Aaron. Aaron and Gideon had both mentored him when he joined the BAU, but they were two very different people. "If we had the egg nog we could play drinking games," he joked.
Aaron's eyes widened and then he grinned at Spencer. "That wouldn't be pretty," he replied, "especially with egg nog."
Spencer laughed at that, his gaze warm on Aaron's. "I have a deck of cards."
"So you don't just want to beat me, you want to humiliate me in the process."
Spencer's grin went wider. "I just--" There was a funny noise, and then the building went black, all the lights going out at once. Spencer sat back in the chair and gripped the arm rests. The blizzard must have knocked out the power, and Spencer's heart started to race a little. "I also have emergency candles in my desk. There's a back up generator, right?"
Hotch's voice was distracted. "Yes."
"Why isn't it coming on?" Spencer breathed.
"I--" Spencer heard Aaron move to stand, he thought, though his eyes hadn't adjusted enough to tell. "I don't know," Aaron finished after a moment.
After a moment he saw a small, bluish glow appear and realized Aaron had flipped open his cell phone. Aaron moved closer and rested a hand on Spencer's shoulder. "Which drawer are the candles in?" he asked.
"Ah--bottom right," Spencer managed, though his entire body had gone hot from having Aaron's hand on his shoulder. He knew Aaron touched people a lot, but Aaron also respected Spencer's personal space, knowing that Spencer just didn't do touching.
Aaron's hand squeezed slightly. "I'll go get them. You said you have a lighter, right?"
"...Right." Spencer licked his lips, hoping Aaron wouldn't ask why Spencer had emergency candles in his desk. Everyone on the team knew he was afraid of the dark, thanks to Morgan, but Spencer didn't see any reason to emphasize that.
"Okay, get out your cell phone," Aaron said. "I'll be right back." He squeezed Spencer's shoulder once more, then moved away.
Spencer nodded. "The, ah, lighter's in the the top drawer, in the little divider for the pens and things," he said quickly, before Aaron got too far.
He pulled out his phone and opened it, then reached back to where he'd let the blanket fall back over the chair to pull it over himself. He spent the next several minutes flipping his phone shut and back open every time the display light went out.
When Aaron got back, Spencer watched him walk toward the desk, the little candles in his hand. "The small white ones, right?"
Spencer nodded. White reflected the light a little better and, therefore, helped to make the flame's light brighten the room more. He watched Aaron light them, then shut his phone, biting his lips together, unsure what to say.
Aaron looked over at him when he finished, smiling. "Better? I have no idea why the generator's not kicking in. Garcia will have a coronary if she gets in next week and her system's down."
Spencer just nodded. It wasn't great, but at least it was better than total darkness. "I guess the storm must be pretty bad."
"Must be," Aaron agreed, moving over to the window. He opened the blinds, which let in a little more light. It wouldn't last long, though; the sun, wherever it was behind the thick clouds and blustering snow, would be setting in the next half hour, and then they would be left with only whatever light reflected from the thick blanket of snow on the ground.
"I can't remember the last time it snowed like this," Aaron said after a while. "Especially before Christmas." He sighed. "It's pretty, though. I remember, when I was a kid, snow was a great excuse for a day off school. It must be a sign of growing up when you stop loving snow and start thinking about how awful it is to drive in it."
"Not much snow in Nevada," Spencer said, managing a slightly wry tone.
Aaron laughed lightly and turned to look at Spencer. "I suppose not."
Spencer bit his lip. "I hate the cold." He sighed, sort of wishing Aaron would touch him again. He wasn't generally inclined, but the dark didn't feel as lonely when he was closer to someone, when he felt someone was grounding him. Not to mention, Aaron was one of the few people Spencer wished would touch him more. For now, though, even being closer would be better. After a moment, he cleared his throat. "Would you..." He stood and walked around the desk, getting the obstacle between them out of the way. "Would you sit with me?" he asked, feeling slightly foolish, but sitting on the floor in front of Aaron's desk anyway, leaning back against it and leaving enough room for Aaron to sit next to him and do the same.
Aaron turned from the window and looked at Spencer for a moment, not saying anything. Then he moved slowly toward Spencer and sank down on the floor next to him, leaning against the desk. "I hadn't realized it was so bad," he murmured. He shifted so his shoulder brushed Spencer's. "Have you...thought about seeking counseling for this?"
Spencer felt a little jolt of something go through him at the light touch, and then his eyes widened a bit. He turned to look at Aaron, honestly surprised that Aaron had drawn attention to his phobia. Spencer shook his head. "It's not that bad," he said. "If it was debilitating, I couldn't do my job."
Aaron seemed to catch on to Spencer's surprise and frowned. "Okay," he murmured quietly.
Spencer swallowed and looked away, wishing he had the courage to tell Aaron the other part of his desire to be close. He was quiet for a long time, and then licked his lips. He'd thought he'd sensed something between them several times this evening. Maybe this would be his only chance to ever say anything. They were alone. It was quiet. If he didn't say it, they might never spend another evening together outside of work. "Maybe I just wanted you closer."
They were close enough, and the office, without the hum of computers or refrigerator, quiet enough, that Spencer could hear Aaron draw in breath and, a moment later, swallow. "Spencer..." After a moment, Aaron took another quick breath. "Why?"
Spencer pressed his lips together, wishing Aaron had just accepted that without question, though he felt encouraged by Aaron using his first name. "I--" he started. 'I like you' felt awkward, and the last time he'd said that, he'd been in high school and had gotten laughed at. After a moment, he cleared his throat, his voice coming out barely a whisper. "I, ah... Because I always want you closer."
He felt Aaron shift away from him, but couldn't quite make himself look up. Then a hand entered his field of vision and touched his chin, very lightly. He found himself unable to resist, so he looked up at Aaron through the dim light.
"Spencer," Aaron murmured, then his train of thought seemed to derail. He just looked at Spencer, his dark gaze almost lost. He licked his lips, then murmured, "I'm not sure what to say. I...I know what I should say, but...I want to say...something else."
Spencer's heart jumped into his throat, and he turned his cheek into Aaron's touch. "In that case, I'm pretty sure I know what you want to say without you having to say it," he murmured breathlessly. He swallowed and leaned toward Aaron. "You can stop me if you feel like you have to, but... I don't know." He'd wanted to say he didn't want Aaron to stop him, or that Aaron didn't have to stop him, no matter what he thought, but that felt too much like guilting Aaron into kissing him. Instead of finishing the thought, he leaned further in and brushed his lips against Aaron's, not kissing him yet, but inviting the kiss as his heart tried to beat out of his body.
He saw Aaron's eyes flutter shut. The fingers on Spencer's cheek sliding back into his hair, but Aaron didn't return the kiss immediately. "We shouldn't," he whispered instead, his lips brushing against Spencer's as he spoke. "We work together."
Spencer didn't care about that. He pressed his lips more firmly against Aaron's, and with a quiet noise that was almost a moan, Aaron gave in and met the kiss, his lips parting against Spencer's. After a moment he slid his tongue along Spencer's upper lip, seeking to deepen the kiss.
Spencer's breath hitched and he let Aaron's tongue dip into his mouth, whimpering softly as the spark of desire shot thought him--and it wasn't entirely physical either. There was a deep longing that almost overwhelmed him now, one he knew he'd been burying for far too long. "Aaron," he breathed, breaking away for a brief moment. "Wanted you for so long." He slid a hand around Aaron's shoulders and leaned even closer, planting his other hand against the floor near Aaron's hip. He was almost pressing Aaron back the more he moved forward, but he couldn't stop. He wanted so much.
Aaron made a soft, hungry noise, working one arm around Spencer's waist. "This is a bad idea," he murmured breathlessly when the kiss ended, but instead of stopping it, he kissed Spencer again. He shifted around so they were facing each other, pulling Spencer closer. "Shouldn't want you as much as I do."
"Mmm," Spencer hummed, deepening the kiss and shifting so he was sitting next to Aaron instead of in front of them so that they didn't have to reach over their laps. He pressed his chest to Aaron's as soon as he was settled again. "Do you want me to stop?"
Spencer had a flash of anxiety when Aaron seemed to consider it for a moment, drawing in a deep breath, but then Aaron breathed, "No," and Spencer couldn't stop the smile that spread across his face
He kissed Aaron again, deeply. "Good. Stop talking about 'should' and 'shouldn't' now, please," he panted, and pushed against Aaron's chest, hoping he would let Spencer push him to the floor.
Aaron groaned and let him, tightening his arm around Spencer's waist as soon as Spencer had settled down on him. "Spencer," he breathed between kisses. Spencer could feel Aaron's fingers running through his hair. "Wonderful."
Spencer kissed him again hungrily, trying to convey how much he wanted Aaron, how long he'd wanted Aaron. Aaron arched under him and slid one leg around Spencer's, sending a thrill of desire through Spencer's body. "God," he gasped.
"'ve wanted to do this for so long," Aaron confessed.
That sent an even bigger thrill through Spencer. "Should've done something sooner," Spencer breathed, shifting to work a knee between Hotch's to support himself better. Aaron's breath hitched, though, when the move pressed their groins together.
"I didn't think I should do it at all," Aaron replied.
Spencer pulled back and looked at Aaron. Aaron looked breathless and beautiful, and Spencer leaned down to place a soft kiss on his lips again, just because he couldn't stop himself. He pulled back again and held Aaron's gaze. "You're one of the smartest people I know," he breathed, ignoring the fact that he had known several other geniuses in his lifetime, as he didn't talk to any of them now. "It amazes me sometimes how incredibly dense you can be about your own happiness."
Aaron's lips parted, and Spencer could tell those were the last words that Aaron had expected to hear. After a moment, when Aaron appeared to still be speechless, Spencer leaned down again and gave him a slow kiss, exploring Aaron's mouth with his own. Aaron relaxed, melting under Spencer's body, and Spencer felt vindicated... until he pulled away, and Aaron breathed, "I could say the same about you."
It startled Spencer a little, and he looked at Hotch. After a moment, he laughed softly and kissed Aaron again. "Handsome," he said, blatantly changing the subject.
"Mmm, yes, you are," Aaron replied, which Spencer hadn't expected, but possibly should have. "Tall and lean and so expressive." He smiled, a broad, genuine smile that made Spencer suck in a breath.
"That's not what I meant," Spencer managed, but Aaron was running fingers through his hair and stroking them down his neck. It sent pleasant shivers all the way through Spencer, and when he shifted, he sucked in another breath as his arousal pressed against Aaron's hip.
Aaron's hand trailed down his spine to rest at the small of his back. "Mm, I'm glad we got snowed in together."
"I wish the lights would come back on," Spencer admitted. He pressed down again, because God it felt good having Hotch underneath him. He brushed his hands down Aaron's jaw, and followed his fingers with his lips. "Thank you for talking to me," he murmured.
Aaron's breath had gone a little unsteady, but after a moment, he breathed, "Huh?"
Spencer closed his eyes and licked Aaron's throat. "You... talk to me. You listen to me." He scraped his teeth over skin and Aaron hissed and arched under him. "We-- just now-- eating... anyone else would have just shut me down," he breathed. Maybe Emily wouldn't, but that was beside the point. "You do that. A lot. Listen to me."
"I like listening to you," Aaron murmured. "You aren't like...anyone else I know, and that's a good thing, Spencer." Spencer felt a tugging at the back of his shirt and a moment later Aaron's warm hand was sliding up under it. "You're fascinating." He took a shuddery breath when Spencer's teeth scraped his skin again.
"No, I'm not; I'm just... Spencer," Spencer said. It shouldn't feel so good, Aaron's hand on his bare skin, but it did. Spencer was half tempted to just tug his shirt off so Aaron could touch him everywhere. Instead, he started working open Aaron's buttons, letting out a disappointed noise when his fingers brushed an undershirt instead of skin. "This is hardly fair," he complained, and bit a little harder at Aaron's neck.
Aaron had started to laugh, but it turned into a strangled yelp when Spencer bit him. "God!" he gasped, sliding his hand up further. "We really shouldn't do this here," he said after a few moments. "Mm, Spencer."
Spencer smiled against Aaron's skin, and bit down again, a little lower, as he pulled open the rest of the buttons of Aaron's shirt. "It's just us." He pulled Aaron's undershirt up and slid his hand under it, his fingers cold against Aaron's stomach and chest.
Aaron hissed and jerked in surprise. "Cold!" He stroked his hand along Spencer's spine. "We're in my office," he murmured. "This...mm...this is inappropriate." He wasn't going to stop protesting on his own, so Spencer kissed him to shut him up. It proved nicely effective, as Aaron melted into the kiss and stopped arguing. The hand on Spencer's back slid down to rest at the waist of his pants and Aaron arched up against him again.
"Mmm, Aaron," Spencer hummed, and then deliberately thrust against Aaron, their cocks sliding together under layers of fabric. Aaron gasped and arched under him, and Spencer couldn't help but watch him. He was amazing, his expression falling into lines of desire instead of his normal frown. Spencer was struck by the fact that no other team member had ever seen Aaron like this. "I'm so lucky you want me," he panted.
"Spencer," Aaron gasped, "Spencer..." He caught Spencer's mouth in a hungry kiss, then rolled them so Aaron was on top, pinning Spencer to the floor. "I wanted you before I was allowed to want you," he murmured, and dropped a kiss on Spencer's throat. "I ought to stop this. We should resist..." He kissed Spencer's jaw, then nibbled lightly. "But being around you makes me happy." He licked along Spencer's jaw to breathe in his ear, "I need you."
Aaron's lips and teeth were already sending waves of need through Spencer, but when Aaron finished, Spencer shivered. "Ungh," was all he managed in reply, the thrill of the moment, and Aaron's warm breath and soft voice in his ear, overwhelming him all at once. He hastily reached down to take the bottom of Aarons' shirt in his hands and tugged. "Off," he said, then groaned when it got stuck around Aaron's arms and Aaron didn't move. "Off!" he breathed, and Aaron moved to let him.
Once the shirt was pulled free, Aaron's fingers were in Spencer's hair again and his mouth was sucking at Spencer's throat. Spencer let it deter him from his primary objective for a moment, pressing up into Aaron's lips with a groan, but then he refocused and tugged at Aaron's undershirt. "This too."
Aaron huffed a small laugh against Spencer's skin, but shifted to let Spencer take off the undershirt. Aaron said something then, but Spencer didn't hear it. He pressed his palm against Aaron's chest to keep him from leaning back down, so that he could take in Aaron's body. His fingertips traveled over the planes of Aaron's chest, and then Aaron spoke again, and this time Spencer looked at him. "Huh?"
Aaron looked amused. "I said, 'now this is hardly fair'."
Spencer smiled softly. "I'm hoping if I get you naked enough, there'll be no way for you to back down."
Aaron laughed, though Spencer thought he could see a hint of guilt in his face. "I wouldn't be able to back down now," he murmured. "I've wanted this for too long." He stroked a hand down Spencer's chest to rest on his belly. "You aren't going along with this because I'm your SAC, and we both know you don't need to do this for advancement in the Bureau. I'm not entirely sure why you want someone like me, but I'm convinced that you do."
Spencer was relieved that Aaron wasn't asking for reassurances, but he wished Aaron had a better opinion of himself. He was the best man Spencer knew, but he seemed incapable of seeing himself that way. "I do," he murmured, pressing his hips up against Aaron's.
"I'm--" Aaron cut off with a gasp, then slid his hand down to slide under Spencer's shirt and push it up. "I want to see you, Spencer," he murmured.
"As well as you can in the candlelight," Spencer said wryly, but he was secretly glad for the dim lighting now. At least this way he might not look quite so skinny.
"Off," Aaron breathed, tugging at Spencer's shirt.
"Is there an echo?" Spencer teased, but sat up a bit and let Aaron pull his shirt off. Once he settled back down, he slid his hand between their bodies and cupped Aaron through his pants, his palm cupping Aaron's balls as he pressed his thumb against Aaron's cock, stroking up it a bit. Aaron drew in a shaky breath, letting his eyes flutter shut, and then seemed to struggle with himself a moment about whether he was going to enjoy what Spencer was doing, or continue touching and undressing Spencer.
He finally let the breath out and started pulling open the button of Spencer's pants without opening his eyes. It seemed to be a compromise between the two options. "When did you get so assertive?" Aaron breathed, pressing down into Spencer's hand.
"When I realized you wanted me." Spencer shifted and pressed against Aaron more.
Aaron made a noise that was probably supposed to be a laugh. He opened his eyes and looked at Spencer's face, his dark eyes hazed with desire. "It's sexy," he murmured.
Spencer was thrilled by those words, even though they seemed a little silly. How could he, Spencer Reid, be sexy? But Aaron obviously thought he was, and that was what mattered. "Assertiveness is easy when you're trying to get someone to agree to something you know he wants," Spencer said.
Aaron shook his head. "Always so...self-deprecating," he said, then broke off with a groan as Spencer rolled his palm against his cock again. "God, get undressed!" Aaron panted.
Spencer grinned. "I can't! You're sitting on top of me!" he said. Aaron panted a tiny laugh, then shifted to move, but Spencer grabbed the top of his pants to stop him. He pulled Aaron's pants open first, making sure he wasn't the only one about to take his clothes off. "You too."
"Mmm," Aaron hummed, and Spencer wasn't sure what that meant.
Aaron rolled to Spencer's side and hooked his fingers into the top of Spencer's pants. He started to push down, and Spencer helped, but Spencer couldn't help noticing that Aaron was watching his body as it was revealed inch by inch. Once Spencer's pants and underwear were down to his knees, Aaron leaned over and kissed Spencer's stomach as Spencer kicked them off. "So beautiful," Aaron murmured.
"I don't see--" 'you undressing', Spencer meant to say, but the Aaron placed a wet, open-mouthed kiss on the head of his cock, and Spencer gasped, arching against the floor.
Aaron made a smug-sounding noise and licked delicately where he had kissed. "Beautiful," he asserted again, and Spencer couldn't even come up with words to argue. He whimpered as Aaron licked a teasing trail along the length of his cock, then protested when Aaron drew back altogether.
"Oh, you didn't want me naked?" Aaron said, watching him with a bare hint of a smile. "I must have misunderstood."
"Hey!" Spencer began, but Aaron was already pushing his own pants down, kicking off his shoes and crawling out of the pants.
"I love it that you're this demanding." Aaron sounded amused, but his voice was husky with desire. It sent a thrill of anticipation all through Spencer.
"Really?" Spencer asked, breathless. "Okay, then either do what you were doing again, or get back on top of me. I want to feel you." He hooked a hand around Aaron's neck to kiss him, and as he drew Aaron near, Aaron slid back over Spencer. Spencer couldn't stop the moan that resulted from the feel of naked skin against naked skin running the length of their bodies. God, he was naked with Aaron. It was hard to believe, but incredible. He slid his hand down to cup Aaron's ass and pull him against him.
Aaron let out a quiet noise and ran his hand up Spencer's side. "Feels wonderful," he murmured, rocking his hips against Spencer's so their cocks slid together. "God, you're sexy. Never thought--I could have--this." He worked his hand between them to circle both of their cocks, his thumb sweeping across the heads. "Spencer..."
Spencer gasped, his breath going ragged, and then blurted, "Oh, God, Aaron, fuck me!" and shifted into Aaron's hand.
That got a surprised noise from Aaron, who dipped his head to kiss Spencer hungrily. "Not this time," he murmured, trailing his lips along Spencer's jaw and stroking their cocks slowly. "I want this, want something easy so I can watch you."
Spencer panted hard as Aaron's fingers moved over him, but the pang of disappointment was still there, and as much as he knew intellectually that this wasn't a rejection, it still felt a little like that. He swallowed, fighting for his breath. "You can watch me... like that," he said, and then held the other things he'd meant to say because even he could hear that his voice didn't sound quite as assertive or confident as it had just moment's before.
"I can, but--" Aaron's breathing hitched and he pressed down against Spencer again. "I've never," he admitted after a moment. "But this feels so good." Aaron stopped moving, his face just inches from Spencer's. "Let's figure out the rest later," he murmured, "and just feel this tonight."
Spencer sucked in a shaky breath, not sure why it hadn't crossed his mind that Aaron hadn't been with another man before. He'd married his high school sweetheart, after all, and hadn't been divorced long. Spencer wanted to feel Aaron inside of him, he wanted to push--God, he wanted--but he swallowed and reminded himself this wasn't going to be the last time with Aaron. He nodded slowly after a moment. "You want me, though?" he whispered.
Aaron pressed his face to Spencer's neck. "God, yes."
Spencer kissed his ear. "Why me?"
Aaron laughed softly. "Too many reasons to list," he said, and started moving his hand slowly along their cocks again. His next words were punctuated with gasps and shivers. "You're enthusiastic and brilliant and, mmm, always an enigma. You're handsome and oddly--vulnerable sometimes. And we almost lost you to Hankel--" He broke off, and Spencer deduced that it was then, in Georgia, that Aaron had realized how he felt.
"So long ago?" he murmured, trying to keep thinking straight despite Aaron's hand and the slow, teasing strokes. "Aaron, you should have--"
"If I'd said anything, I would have been out of line," Aaron cut in. His hand moved faster along their cocks. "I loved my wife. I swore an oath to her."
And you couldn't understand how you could want me, anyway, Spencer thought. "I imagine you've castigated yourself enough for it," he said wryly.
He was rewarded by a jolt of pleasure as Aaron thrust, sliding their cocks together with a groan. Aaron's only reply was a little grunt this time, and Spencer gasped and arched against him. "I... I want you," he whispered. "I want everything."
"You'll have it," Aaron murmured. He rolled his hips down and squeezed his hand, and Spencer could feel pleasure coiling up in his body.
Spencer slid his hand up Aaron's back, then cupped his hand against Aaron's jaw to kiss him soundly, the sparks of pleasure going straight to his needy cock. "Aaron," he panted, shifting up against him.
"So beautiful, Spencer," Aaron breathed. "So sexy." He kissed Spencer hungrily, thrusting against Spencer's cock again.
Spencer let out a little cry at the slide of their bodies, and the force of Aaron's movements, then Aaron's thumb ran through the slickness on the head of his cock, and Spencer made another little wordless exclamation of pleasure. Aaron's breath was hot against his neck, and Spencer slid his leg around Aaron's, matching Aaron's movements as his body started to beg for release. "You're so-- Aaron!"
Aaron made a choked noise that might have been a laugh, but his hips jerked against Spencer's and then he tensed, gasping Spencer's name as he came.
Spencer watched him as he felt Aaron's come spill between Aaron's fingertips. He watched the normally sharp expression go slack, lost to pleasure. Then Aaron shifted out of his hand and started to stroke Spencer alone, his eyes half lidded and murmuring endearments, and it was too much. The slickness of Aaron's release, mixed with Aaron's words and the utter peaceful affection in Aaron's expression and voice caused the tightness building in Spencer's body to wind down to the base of his spine. And then he was coming too, with a gasp, clutching at Aaron as Aaron stroked him through the spasms and delicious shudders of his release until he was spent.
When Aaron collapsed on top of him, Spencer's arms slid around Aaron fully, feeling the quick rise and fall of Aaron's chest. "God, Aaron."
"Spencer," Aaron panted, and Spencer felt soft kisses pressed to his neck. "That was wonderful." The warm puffs of breath against Spencer's neck made him shiver deliciously, reminding him that they were both mostly naked on the floor of Aaron's office. The rational part of Spencer's brain suggested they get cleaned up and dressed. His body utterly refused to move.
"This is definitely a better Christmas than I was anticipating," he murmured, and felt Aaron's laughter in his chest.
"I haven't even given you your present yet," Aaron said, and shifted just enough to kiss Spencer's mouth.
"You got me a present?"
"Mm-hmm," Aaron replied, and slid off to Spencer's side. "Later. I'm not sure I can walk right now.
Spencer wished he'd had the foresight to spread the blanket under them before he'd pressed Aaron to the floor--Aaron's carpet wasn't the softest stuff--but it still felt nice when Aaron wrapped him in his arms.
Spencer also wished he'd had the foresight to get Aaron a present too, but he hadn't considered it, and even if he had, he would have second guessed his intentions until he wound up not doing it anyway. "I didn't get you anything," he said regretfully.
"You didn't need to," Aaron panted. "You gave me yourself."
"That's not the same thing," Spencer said and kissed Aaron's forehead. "You gave me yourself too, and got me a second gift."
"I hadn't planned on this."
"Neither had I."
"Spencer... be quiet and enjoy this. Please."
Spencer would have been embarrassed, but he could hear a hint of laughter in Aaron's voice, so he just snuggled against Aaron and listened to them breathing together. He'd never imagined he could feel so utterly content lying naked on the floor with his boss. At that thought he felt amusement bubbling up inside him. He tried to fight it, but after a moment he was laughing softly.
He felt Aaron sigh, but a gentle hand came up to stroke his hair. "What's funny?" Aaron asked after a moment. There was a long-suffering note in his voice.
Spencer shook his head. "I just...no matter how many times I thought about something like this happening, I never quite envisioned myself lying naked on the floor with my boss."
"Hmm," Aaron hummed. He tilted his chin up to kiss Spencer's jaw. "I'm not your boss right now," he said gently.
Spencer could feel questions pressing against his teeth, wanting out. What is this? What are we going to do? What happens if--when--the others figure it out? He swallowed hard and pushed them away, trying to do as Aaron had said and enjoy it. After a minute of trying to relax against Aaron's chest, he realized he was shivering again.
Aaron noticed. He grunted. "Wait, don't get dressed," he murmured, and pulled gently away from Spencer to get the blanket. He settled back down a minute later, spreading the blanket over them, and pulled Spencer back into his arms.
Spencer closed his eyes and sucked in a breath. That was wonderful, even if his mind wouldn't quite stop. "Your floor is hard."
"You're just too bony," Aaron murmured affectionately, and Spencer was about to complain, but a moment later, Aaron was pulling Spencer on top of him. "Better?"
"Aaron..."
"Relax."
Spencer thought it was a little ironic, actually, that Aaron was so relaxed right now--that Aaron was telling anyone else to relax at all--but it was nice. Aaron stroked his hands down Spencer's back, and Spencer let his head rest on Aaron's shoulder. After a moment, though, Aaron seemed to sense the unspoken questions. "Are you okay?"
Spencer tried to just nod, but finally he whispered, "What are we doing?" It wasn't really what he wanted to ask, but even to his own mind the real questions seemed too needy.
Aaron seemed to understand, anyway. "I told you before that you could have everything," he murmured, his fingers sliding through Spencer's hair. "I meant that."
The touch was soothing, and Spencer relaxed a little more, kissing Aaron's neck. "And what about... them?" he asked, tilting his head barely in the direction of the bullpen.
Aaron sighed. "I don't know." His hands moved down to Spencer's shoulder's where the kneaded softly. "I'd be surprised if they haven't noticed anything already. I'd be surprised if they aren't expecting it."
Spencer looked up at Aaron from where he was resting against Aaron's shoulder. "But?"
Aaron sucked in a breath, and Spencer felt him hold it for a moment. He knew Aaron wasn't okay with this on a professional level, no matter what the personal benefits were, and he wasn't sure he ever would be. Still, Spencer thought that having this would be better than not having it, for both of them, and he hoped Aaron knew that above any other concerns he had.
"Let's worry about that later," Aaron finally murmured. "Tonight, I don't want to worry. Tonight I have another blanket and a pillow in the credenza and I want to sleep with you in my arms, and wake up with you on Christmas morning." Aaron's arms slid around Spencer and held him tightly, and when he spoke next, his voice was warm again. "Even if all we have for breakfast is a couple of fruit cups and coffee. Oh, and I think there might still be cake in the fridge from the last intern's birthday."
Spencer took a slow breath and then nodded against Aaron's chest. "Tonight we won't worry," he agreed, and closed his eyes. He knew it wouldn't be as simple as that, but it was what Aaron wanted, and Spencer would try.
The silence drew out between them, and Spencer felt Aaron's breathing deepening as he approached sleep. One of them ought to go get the pillow and blanket, but Spencer couldn't bring himself to move. Instead he lay still and thought about all the times he'd wanted Aaron so much it ached, relishing the fact that now he had what he'd wanted. Finally he realized they were both shivering occasionally, so he kissed Aaron's jaw and drew away.
Aaron made a noise of protest, but Spencer just pressed a finger to his lips. "I'll be right back," he promised, and crawled through the near-total darkness to where he thought the credenza was. He fumbled through it until he found the pillow and blanket, then crawled back towards the desk. He fell over Aaron, who was closer than Spencer had thought. Aaron let out a grunt, but then started laughing sleepily, and that made Spencer grin just because Aaron didn't laugh often enough.
Finally they got themselves settled down again under the blankets, Aaron's head on the pillow and Spencer's head on Aaron's shoulder. Aaron's hand stroked idly along Spencer's side for a while, then he apparently fell asleep. Spencer wasn't long in following.
PART THREE
Authors:
innerslytherin and severity_softlyPairing: Hotch/Reid
Rating: NC-17/FRAO
Word count: ~18,000
Summary: When Aaron invites Spencer to spend Christmas with him, things don't go as planned.
Notes: Self-beta'd; feel free to point out any mistakes. Written before The Instincts/Memoriam, so now it's mildly AU in regards to Spencer's backstory. Merry Christmas!
PART ONE
Spencer had learned to drive in Nevada. Which was why he hated driving in Virginia winters. He hated everything about Virginia winters, actually. He froze in the best of times, wore cardigans in Texas heat. He was wearing about ten layers of clothes--or it felt that way--on Christmas Eve as he drove back to the BAU at 1:30, and, due to his general distaste for driving in snow, and his lack of skill at it, he was unsurprised, even if he was a bit shaken, when he slid off the road and into a concrete barrier.
At least he'd only been driving about ten miles an hour on the interstate. He must have hit it just right, though, because the car wouldn't start after he crashed it. One government SUV down. Mom would be so proud. He sat in the driver's seat for a good ten minutes cursing at the car, and then finally called the wrecker. He wasn't far from the BAU, so once he hung up the phone, instructing the service to just tow it to the nearest shop, he started walking. In the snow, it would probably take just as long for the wrecker to get to him as it would to walk, and at least if he kept moving, he wouldn't keep losing precious body heat.
By the time he got to the BAU, he felt frozen, and he walked into the office, at least twenty minutes late, shivering violently. "I think my appendages are going to fall of," he told Aaron once he got inside.
It only hit him a moment later that Aaron wasn't working; he was sitting at Spencer's desk, looking slightly impatient. Spencer gave him an odd look, then started peeling off his gloves and scarf. The bullpen was deserted; Spencer supposed they were the only ones alone enough to work this late on Christmas Eve with a snowstorm moving in.
"I was beginning to think you'd gotten lost," Aaron said, and Spencer could hear the slight reproach in the quiet words. All the same, he took Spencer's scarf from him so Spencer could struggle with the buttons on his coat.
"Have you looked outside lately? It's practically a blizzard out there! I ended up having to walk from the interstate." Spencer finally got the last button undone and flailed an arm to get out of his coat.
Aaron moved to help him with it, frowning. "Really? I haven't been out since lunch, and I went early. There wasn't anything on the ground then."
"It's been snowing for the past two hours," Spencer retorted, feeling warmed by the tacit assistance. "There must be six inches on the ground already, and the radio says we could get up to a foot."
Aaron frowned and craned his neck in a vain attempt to look out his office windows as Spencer pulled off his hat, his hair spilling in an unruly pile until he fixed it. "Can I borrow your pockets?" he said, only half joking. Aaron huffed a small laugh then, and Spencer knew he shouldn't do it, but he grabbed Aaron's hand and closed Aaron's fingers around his own. "Freezing."
Spencer didn't look up, but he saw Aaron's eyebrows lift and heard him suck in a breath at the cold in his hand. It was stupid, Spencer knew, but he'd been tempted to press the back of his hand to Aaron's neck, which would have been stupider.
Aaron stood unmoving for a moment, and then started, slowly, to rub Spencer's hands between his. Spencer knew his hands were one of his better features. He had long, graceful fingers--probably the only really graceful thing about him--and he wasn't afraid to use them to his advantage. Still, he hadn't entirely expected the utter concentration Aaron devoted to warming his fingers up.
Aaron's brows drew together and he bent his head over the hand trapped in both of his own, blowing warm breath over the skin. "Why did you have to walk in from the interstate?" he asked, his voice quiet.
Oh, this had been a stupid idea. Spencer had to swallow before he could speak, and when he did, his voice was barely more than a whisper. "I wrecked the SUV."
"What?" Aaron's hands tightened around his, that penetrating gaze lifting to study Spencer's face. "What happened?"
"I, ah...well, I'm not used to the snow. I wasn't going fast, but the SUV wouldn't start after I hit the barrier wall."
"Are you all right?" Aaron seemed to realize then that he was still clutching Spencer's hand; he looked down and started rubbing again lightly.
"Yeah, I'm fine," Spencer said, though he was starting to feel rather distracted.
Aaron nodded and stopped, then squeezed Spencer's hand again, his thumb rubbing along the top of Spencer's hand. Spencer didn't suppress the resulting shiver, the cold made sure he couldn't.
"Other hand please," Aaron said softly.
Spencer bit his lips together and offered it, then just licked his lips and watched Aaron's hands work over his own. He cleared his throat once he thought he could speak. "We should probably leave before it gets too bad. This might actually prove a little futile." He paused, then swallowed. "But thanks. It, ah, feels good."
Aaron looked up at him, a rare smile on his face. "Maybe we should check the road report first," he said, and squeezed Spencer's hand lightly before letting go. He pulled his cell phone out and dialed, going over to the window as he spoke. Spencer couldn't hear what he said, but he saw Aaron lift a hand and start running it distractedly through his hair.
Spencer sat in his desk chair and tried valiantly to make his heart calm down and stop jumping the way it was. Just because Aaron had rubbed his hands--almost tenderly, insisted a little voice in his head--it didn't mean anything. Aaron was a father, after all. He was used to taking care of people. Still, Spencer couldn't suppress the flutter of hope in his stomach.
After a few minutes Aaron came back, looking grim. "They've declared a state of emergency," he said, watching Spencer's face. "It looks like we're stuck here."
Spencer's shoulders dropped in disappointment, and after a moment, he just collapsed back into his seat. "Damn it," he mumbled, and glanced around the BAU. "I guess this was where we were going to be anyway, right? If you hadn't offered to cook for me."
When he looked up, Aaron was frowning. "I'm sorry," he murmured.
Spencer frowned too. "It's not your fault."
"I know that, but I was looking forward to it."
Spencer had been hoping, best case scenario, for wine and egg nog in front of Aaron's fireplace. If Aaron had a fireplace. Of course, that wasn't going to happen, but he at least would have just liked to see Aaron's home. He nodded and smiled faintly. "Me too."
"I wonder if there's anyone else in the building," Aaron said, looking around. The entire BAU was empty, and Spencer couldn't recall seeing anyone on his way up. Aaron sighed. "I have some shelf stable meals in my office," he said after a moment. "There might be turkey and dressing in a couple of them."
"Not exactly an ideal Christmas dinner," Spencer said, and pressed his lips together. He hoped that didn't sound like a criticism.
Aaron sighed and shook his head. "I was going to make a roast," he said, his voice tinged with regret. "And mashed potatoes and beef gravy."
"Stop, you're making me hungry," Spencer joked. He was pleased when Aaron laughed. He thought sometimes people didn't always realize when he was joking. Then again, sometimes people thought he was joking when he wasn't.
"I suppose you skipped lunch," Aaron said.
"Um. I ate...something...earlier..." Spencer said vaguely.
Aaron laughed. "Well, we're stuck here. We might as well get comfortable and have a meal," he said. "I have the couch and chairs in my office. I could probably find a video of a fireplace on YouTube. It isn't quite the full Hotchner holiday experience, but..."
Spencer grinned, and then before he realized he was about to say something he shouldn't, the words were out. "Maybe next year."
Aaron was quiet for a moment, but when Spencer looked back up, Aaron was still smiling. His expression was a little curious, though, and Spencer swallowed and pursed his lips. "Let's, ah, go see what we have," he said, wanting to gloss it over, and pushed from his chair to go to Aaron's office.
"Yeah." Aaron led the way back to his office and rummaged through the credenza. "A blanket, that'll be useful," he said, tossing it at Spencer in a way that, if this were anyone but Aaron, would have been playful. "Applesauce, fruit cups, chicken noodle soup...Here, two turkey and dressing shelf stable meals." He straightened, holding them, and gave Spencer a look.
"Well, at least we won't starve," Spencer said, though the idea of wine and real mashed potatoes sounded much better. "Do you really have a fireplace?"
"Yeah, well, a gas one. It doesn't smell as nice as wood, but it's cozy. Sorry, I'm afraid the closest we'll get here is if we break into Strauss' office to steal one of her lighters."
"I have one, actually, but I think my thumb would get tired after a while," Spencer said.
Aaron smiled softly. "Like I said, there's always YouTube."
"Aaron Hotchner on Youtube," Spencer said, and Aarons' smile widened just slightly. Spencer opened the blanket and wrapped it around himself. "Let me get my phone first so I can take video. No one would believe me otherwise."
"Just remember, if you try to incriminate me in anything, you'll have to put up with Dave or Morgan leading the team," Aaron said. He picked up the two meals and headed for the microwave in the kitchenette. "We should brew some fresh coffee, too," he said over his shoulder as Spencer followed him. "I know it's not as good as egg nog."
"Just wait, I'll make egg nog for you someday and you'll have to admit you like it," Spencer said. Then he felt his face heat. He was flirting with his boss.
Aaron glanced over his shoulder at Spencer, his expression unreadable. "I suppose I ought to confess," he said. "I did like egg nog, when I was younger. I drank a little too much at a Christmas party one year, and...well, let's just say I've never been fond of it since then."
"Aaron Hotchner drunk," Spencer said. "That's, ah, another interesting thought."
"I wasn't always old and boring," Aaron said. He looked a little thoughtful, and Spencer tried to figure out if he'd been too obvious. There was a fine line, he knew.
"You're not boring at all," Spencer said quietly.
Aaron started making coffee silently, and Spencer watched him for a moment, wondering what he was thinking. Once the coffee maker was making that funny sucking sound that meant it was starting to brew, Aaron turned to look at Spencer, a circumspect frown on his face. "What's my worst quality, Spencer?"
Spencer's eyebrows lifted, and he blinked at Aaron for a moment. Where had that come from? It was surprising enough that it took Spencer a moment to find words, and then he just stammered, "Wh-what?"
"What's my worst quality?" Aaron repeated. "I asked everyone once... and you didn't get to answer."
Spencer stared at him a moment, still a little confused, and then pulled the blanket tighter around his shoulders, feeling a little on the spot. He shifted and chewed his lip for a moment. "Ah, I guess... that you hold yourself to standards you would never expect anyone else to meet," he said after a long pause.
He could feel Aaron watching him for for the span of several heartbeats, and then Aaron sighed and Spencer looked up. Aaron was looking at the floor, but his expression wasn't upset. It was almost appreciative.
"Why do you keep a blanket in your office?" Spencer asked.
Aaron's lips pulled into a self-deprecating smile. "There are nights I'm here late enough that there's no point going home."
Spencer's lips curled up. "You just proved my point."
Aaron nodded, but still looked almost peaceful. After a moment, he turned and started to unwrap the meals and put them in the microwave. "Why do you have a lighter so handy?"
Spencer smiled at Aaron's back, then shrugged, even though Aaron wasn't looking at him. "Physics magic."
"I should have known," Aaron murmured, but he sounded amused. "I'm glad to hear you haven't suddenly taken up smoking." He was silent for a moment, watching the tray spin slowly in the microwave. "My father smoked. My real father."
Spencer swallowed. Aaron never talked about his father. He didn't talk about his personal life at all, really, except Jack. He was obviously very proud of Jack. "Your...real father?" Spencer prompted, watching him. A stray shudder of cold took him suddenly and he hunched into the blanket.
Aaron's shoulders hunched a little, too, and Spencer wondered if he'd gone too far. Then slowly they relaxed again. Aaron murmured, "He drank, too. That was really the only time he was dangerous." After a moment, he shrugged. "My mom left him when I was six. Sean's my half-brother."
Spencer wasn't sure what to say, so he didn't say anything. After a moment he rested his hand lightly on Aaron's shoulder, though, and he was grateful when Aaron didn't shrug him off.
Aaron silently pulled one meal out of the microwave and put in the other, and Spencer let his hand slip just a little lower, over one shoulder blade. He curled his fingers just slightly, just enough for soothing pressure. Aaron sucked in a breath, and Spencer cleared his throat. "Why did you tell me that?"
There was another long inhalation, and in this one, Spencer could almost hear a slight shake. Aaron turned to face him, and Spencer left his hand until it slid over Aaron's shoulder, then dropped it. "I'm not sure. Maybe... I just want you to know me." Aaron shrugged.
Spencer bit his lip and looked at the floor. Somehow those words carried a special weight that was both amazing and wonderful, but also overwhelming. "My mom hates Christmas."
"You don't have to reciprocate," Aaron said quickly, and Spencer looked up at him.
"I know." He shifted on his feet and looked away. "Christmas was pretty normal when I was little. Trees, Santa, though I never believed in Santa, ever," he said, a sad smile crossing his face. "Eggnog." He huffed a little laugh that didn't sound quite right. "There's, ah, a prodromal stage... of Schizophrenia; can last sometimes over two years. Things were a little strange sometimes... back then, but not bad before..." He could see Aaron's head tilt, trying to catch Spencer's eyes, but Spencer didn't look, he just tightened his hands on the blanket.
"And now she hates Christmas and that's why you're here."
Spencer bit his lip and nodded.
He heard Aaron take a slow breath. After a moment he said, "I'm glad you're here, whatever the reason." The words were spoken quietly, but warmly. Spencer looked up and caught his breath at the way Aaron was looking at him. Suddenly he wished they had been able to go to Aaron's house.
"I guess I'm glad, too," he murmured, holding Aaron's gaze.
The microwave dinged and they both turned to look at it. Aaron pulled out the meal, then tilted his head at the coffee maker. "The coffee ready yet?" he asked. "We can eat in my office."
Spencer cleared his throat. "Yeah." He went to get the coffee, stuffing sugar packets into his pockets so he could carry the creamer. When he looked back at Aaron, Aaron had stacked the meals on top of each other and gotten plastic silverware and napkins. He inclined his head towards his office and they both headed that way, where Aaron headed for his desk once they got inside.
"Not there," Spencer said quickly, before Aaron get to his desk, and Aaron turned to look at him, his expression curious. "It'll feel too much like work. We could... sit on the floor?" He hadn't meant it as a question, but it had come out that way anyway.
There was amusement in Aaron's eyes, and Spencer liked to think there was a little bit of appreciation too. "Or you could take my chair."
Spencer huffed a small laugh, but Aaron just lifted his eyebrows.
"Mm... okay." Spencer headed around the other side of Aaron's desk and sat, then tried to figure out where to put the hot coffee pot, as he was afraid it would damage the desktop. After a moment, he rolled back and grabbed a stack of papers out of Aaron's printer to use as a makeshift hotplate.
Aaron sat across from him, settling in and smiling faintly at Spencer. "I hope you're properly impressed with my cooking skills," he said, and passed one of the microwave meals over to Spencer.
Spencer laughed. He loved Aaron's dry sense of humor and the way he could deliver the funniest lines deadpan. He liked to think maybe Aaron was glad Spencer appreciated his humor, but he knew that was probably just wishful thinking.
"I do think the wine would have improved this greatly, though," Aaron said after taking his first bite.
Spencer took a bite, too. It wasn't bad, but he imagined Aaron's cooking would have been far better. He felt another pang of regret that they weren't at Aaron's house, but at least Aaron wasn't acting at all as if they were still at work.
Spencer licked his lips and took another bite. He wasn't sure what to say, so he cleared his throat and said, "'O, how wonderfully acted Providence that on that day on which that sun was born, Christ should be born'. Saint Cyprian."
He glanced up, and Aaron blinked at him for a moment, then narrowed his eyes a bit. Spencer wasn't sure if he was confused or interested.
"The Romans-- Julius Caesar introduced the Julian calendar in 45 BC and December 25th was the day of the winter solstice, a celebration of the sun, over 240 years before the date was first referenced in Christian literature."
Aaron's eyebrows lifted.
"Seems more a, ah, blatant manipulation, trying to repress another groups religious practices, than an act of divine providence." He was becoming less and less sure of this line of conversation as he spoke; it occurred to him that while he knew Dave was Catholic, and Morgan was raised Christian, even if he also knew Morgan had lost his faith, he still had no clue what Aaron believed.
Aaron watched him for a moment longer, then glanced back down at his meal. "I've never thought it really mattered when he was born, so much as it mattered that he was born at all." He glanced up at Spencer again, and Spencer was relieved to see there was a glimmer of something that might be amusement in Aaron's eyes.
Spencer smiled a bit and took another bite of his food. "He was a cult leader, Hotch. Granted, all major religions start as cults, as a small band of devoted people, devoted to something considered insane by the general population. And as cults go, this one had positive intentions. But for all we know, he could have simply been... Schizophrenic, or-or Bipolar I, believing he was the son of God and hearing voices."
Aaron laughed quietly. "Or he could have been right. I read once that he had to have been one of three things, a liar, a lunatic, or who he claimed he was. I guess I just prefer to go on faith." He studied Spencer's face. "I remember you once said something to Morgan about not buying into the God thing."
"Yeah, if you believe in one, you have to believe in the other. Good can't exist without evil; you'd have no basis for comparison, for one thing." Spencer was glad Aaron was even willing to talk to him about this. Morgan had shut him down, and he knew better than to argue this with Dave. "And, honestly, what's more likely? Liar, lunatic, or Son of God? We see people like this. I spent three days in a compound with one of them earlier this year, and I have no doubt that Cryus was not a prophet."
Aaron's expression darkened at the mention of Benjamin Cyrus. "He was no prophet," he muttered. "But I guess the question is, do you believe in evil? Because like you said, if you believe in evil, you have to believe in good." He shrugged, not looking away from Spencer's face. At least he didn't look offended or angry by the topic of conversation. "It's a personal choice, and I guess personally, I'd rather it be true than not, so I choose to believe." He smiled faintly and shrugged.
Spencer nodded, not looking away from Aaron. "I can understand that." And he did, even if he didn't agree. He knew it was the sort of faith that let people sleep a little easier at night. "And how could I not believe in evil?"
Aaron's expression went thoughtful, and he sipped his coffee, watching Spencer over the rim of his mug. "Have you ever been to church?" he asked when he put his mug back down.
Spencer shook his head. "No, not for a service, but I hardly think it would change my opinion."
"Oh, I know that. I wouldn't have expected it would. I was just... curious."
A slow smile formed on Spencer's face, a little thrill running thorugh him. Aaron had said he wanted Spencer to know him. Aaron obviously wanted to know Spencer too. "My dad put in appearances on holidays, but my mother never believed either."
Aaron nodded. "It's funny, isn't it, how we seem to wind up completely embracing or completely rejecting what our parents try to impart to us?" His expression turned wry. "Of course it isn't as simple as that. Both my father and my stepfather were devout church-goers, but I've never known two people so different from each other."
Spencer wasn't entirely sure what to say. He nodded, waiting for Aaron to go on.
"My stepfather was a lawyer," Aaron said after a moment. "It was why I went into law. I could see his passion for it, for helping bring a little more justice into the world. For me, admiring him turned into emulating him. For Sean..." He shrugged. "Sean isn't interested in being like him, even though he loved Dad just as much as I did." He paused, then laughed. "Ah, families are funny. Sometimes I think about Jack and wonder how he's going to turn out..." He trailed off.
Spencer looked down at his meal, still not sure how to respond. Jack was always a subject the team tried to avoid; it was complicated, and everyone knew Aaron hated that he didn't see his son as often as he wanted to. "He has a wonderful father," he murmured after a moment. "A kind, compassionate father who loves him very much." He cleared his throat. "And a mother that loves him too," he said much faster. That was about the nicest thing he could manage to say about Haley, which was a shame because he'd liked her when he'd met her, but that was before he watched the divorce take its toll on Aaron.
Aaron looked like he knew or guessed Spencer's opinion of Haley, but he didn't say anything about it. "I think you have too high an opinion of me," he murmured instead, but his gaze on Spencer's face was warm. "Jack has a father he doesn't see enough of. The proof of love is in actions, not words. I can tell Jack I love him every day, but if he only sees me a few times a year..." He looked down, shaking his head. After a moment, he said, "Haley took him to Georgia for the holiday. To her parents' house."
Spencer watched Aaron, leaning toward him a little to prop his elbows on the desk. "He'll understand, especially when he's older. He'll see all the amazing, important work you do, and how much it's a part of you, and you're a part of it, and he'll understand." Spencer swallowed. "And calling him everyday, or even a few times a week, is an action a lot of people wouldn't take."
Aaron sighed and offered Spencer a faint smile. "Your parents divorced when you were young. Would you have understood better if your father did something like our job? I'd like to believe Jack will understand...and maybe he will, intellectually, but it doesn't make up for the fact that I'll miss his first day of school, or the first tooth he loses, or when he scores the winning basket in the championships." He rubbed a hand over his face, then laughed. "Listen to me! This is Christmas Eve and I'm just feeling sorry for myself." He leaned back in his chair. "Why don't you talk for a while?"
Spencer hesitated for a moment, then said, "I was ten. That makes a difference. I was used to him being there, and I watched everything crumble around me. Your situation isn't ideal, but it'll seem normal enough to him growing up. He won't resent you, and he'll understand it wasn't his fault later, and that you were there for him as much as you could be." Spencer swallowed hard. "I would have appreciated a phone call once in a while. Instead I got a card on my birthday and a card on Christmas with just a signature and money inside that usually just went to paying the bills mom forgot to pay." He shook his head and played with what was left of his food. "Maybe we should just change the subject. Might be the best course of action before we both start wallowing."
Aaron laughed again, the sound a little less doleful. "We could play hangman or tic tac toe, but I imagine you'd beat me at either. You probably know words I can't even spell."
Spencer shrugged. He would suggest chess, but he wasn't sure what had happened to Gideon's chess set, and he wasn't sure if he really wanted to play chess with Aaron. Aaron and Gideon had both mentored him when he joined the BAU, but they were two very different people. "If we had the egg nog we could play drinking games," he joked.
Aaron's eyes widened and then he grinned at Spencer. "That wouldn't be pretty," he replied, "especially with egg nog."
Spencer laughed at that, his gaze warm on Aaron's. "I have a deck of cards."
"So you don't just want to beat me, you want to humiliate me in the process."
Spencer's grin went wider. "I just--" There was a funny noise, and then the building went black, all the lights going out at once. Spencer sat back in the chair and gripped the arm rests. The blizzard must have knocked out the power, and Spencer's heart started to race a little. "I also have emergency candles in my desk. There's a back up generator, right?"
Hotch's voice was distracted. "Yes."
"Why isn't it coming on?" Spencer breathed.
"I--" Spencer heard Aaron move to stand, he thought, though his eyes hadn't adjusted enough to tell. "I don't know," Aaron finished after a moment.
After a moment he saw a small, bluish glow appear and realized Aaron had flipped open his cell phone. Aaron moved closer and rested a hand on Spencer's shoulder. "Which drawer are the candles in?" he asked.
"Ah--bottom right," Spencer managed, though his entire body had gone hot from having Aaron's hand on his shoulder. He knew Aaron touched people a lot, but Aaron also respected Spencer's personal space, knowing that Spencer just didn't do touching.
Aaron's hand squeezed slightly. "I'll go get them. You said you have a lighter, right?"
"...Right." Spencer licked his lips, hoping Aaron wouldn't ask why Spencer had emergency candles in his desk. Everyone on the team knew he was afraid of the dark, thanks to Morgan, but Spencer didn't see any reason to emphasize that.
"Okay, get out your cell phone," Aaron said. "I'll be right back." He squeezed Spencer's shoulder once more, then moved away.
Spencer nodded. "The, ah, lighter's in the the top drawer, in the little divider for the pens and things," he said quickly, before Aaron got too far.
He pulled out his phone and opened it, then reached back to where he'd let the blanket fall back over the chair to pull it over himself. He spent the next several minutes flipping his phone shut and back open every time the display light went out.
When Aaron got back, Spencer watched him walk toward the desk, the little candles in his hand. "The small white ones, right?"
Spencer nodded. White reflected the light a little better and, therefore, helped to make the flame's light brighten the room more. He watched Aaron light them, then shut his phone, biting his lips together, unsure what to say.
Aaron looked over at him when he finished, smiling. "Better? I have no idea why the generator's not kicking in. Garcia will have a coronary if she gets in next week and her system's down."
Spencer just nodded. It wasn't great, but at least it was better than total darkness. "I guess the storm must be pretty bad."
"Must be," Aaron agreed, moving over to the window. He opened the blinds, which let in a little more light. It wouldn't last long, though; the sun, wherever it was behind the thick clouds and blustering snow, would be setting in the next half hour, and then they would be left with only whatever light reflected from the thick blanket of snow on the ground.
"I can't remember the last time it snowed like this," Aaron said after a while. "Especially before Christmas." He sighed. "It's pretty, though. I remember, when I was a kid, snow was a great excuse for a day off school. It must be a sign of growing up when you stop loving snow and start thinking about how awful it is to drive in it."
"Not much snow in Nevada," Spencer said, managing a slightly wry tone.
Aaron laughed lightly and turned to look at Spencer. "I suppose not."
Spencer bit his lip. "I hate the cold." He sighed, sort of wishing Aaron would touch him again. He wasn't generally inclined, but the dark didn't feel as lonely when he was closer to someone, when he felt someone was grounding him. Not to mention, Aaron was one of the few people Spencer wished would touch him more. For now, though, even being closer would be better. After a moment, he cleared his throat. "Would you..." He stood and walked around the desk, getting the obstacle between them out of the way. "Would you sit with me?" he asked, feeling slightly foolish, but sitting on the floor in front of Aaron's desk anyway, leaning back against it and leaving enough room for Aaron to sit next to him and do the same.
Aaron turned from the window and looked at Spencer for a moment, not saying anything. Then he moved slowly toward Spencer and sank down on the floor next to him, leaning against the desk. "I hadn't realized it was so bad," he murmured. He shifted so his shoulder brushed Spencer's. "Have you...thought about seeking counseling for this?"
Spencer felt a little jolt of something go through him at the light touch, and then his eyes widened a bit. He turned to look at Aaron, honestly surprised that Aaron had drawn attention to his phobia. Spencer shook his head. "It's not that bad," he said. "If it was debilitating, I couldn't do my job."
Aaron seemed to catch on to Spencer's surprise and frowned. "Okay," he murmured quietly.
Spencer swallowed and looked away, wishing he had the courage to tell Aaron the other part of his desire to be close. He was quiet for a long time, and then licked his lips. He'd thought he'd sensed something between them several times this evening. Maybe this would be his only chance to ever say anything. They were alone. It was quiet. If he didn't say it, they might never spend another evening together outside of work. "Maybe I just wanted you closer."
They were close enough, and the office, without the hum of computers or refrigerator, quiet enough, that Spencer could hear Aaron draw in breath and, a moment later, swallow. "Spencer..." After a moment, Aaron took another quick breath. "Why?"
Spencer pressed his lips together, wishing Aaron had just accepted that without question, though he felt encouraged by Aaron using his first name. "I--" he started. 'I like you' felt awkward, and the last time he'd said that, he'd been in high school and had gotten laughed at. After a moment, he cleared his throat, his voice coming out barely a whisper. "I, ah... Because I always want you closer."
He felt Aaron shift away from him, but couldn't quite make himself look up. Then a hand entered his field of vision and touched his chin, very lightly. He found himself unable to resist, so he looked up at Aaron through the dim light.
"Spencer," Aaron murmured, then his train of thought seemed to derail. He just looked at Spencer, his dark gaze almost lost. He licked his lips, then murmured, "I'm not sure what to say. I...I know what I should say, but...I want to say...something else."
Spencer's heart jumped into his throat, and he turned his cheek into Aaron's touch. "In that case, I'm pretty sure I know what you want to say without you having to say it," he murmured breathlessly. He swallowed and leaned toward Aaron. "You can stop me if you feel like you have to, but... I don't know." He'd wanted to say he didn't want Aaron to stop him, or that Aaron didn't have to stop him, no matter what he thought, but that felt too much like guilting Aaron into kissing him. Instead of finishing the thought, he leaned further in and brushed his lips against Aaron's, not kissing him yet, but inviting the kiss as his heart tried to beat out of his body.
He saw Aaron's eyes flutter shut. The fingers on Spencer's cheek sliding back into his hair, but Aaron didn't return the kiss immediately. "We shouldn't," he whispered instead, his lips brushing against Spencer's as he spoke. "We work together."
Spencer didn't care about that. He pressed his lips more firmly against Aaron's, and with a quiet noise that was almost a moan, Aaron gave in and met the kiss, his lips parting against Spencer's. After a moment he slid his tongue along Spencer's upper lip, seeking to deepen the kiss.
Spencer's breath hitched and he let Aaron's tongue dip into his mouth, whimpering softly as the spark of desire shot thought him--and it wasn't entirely physical either. There was a deep longing that almost overwhelmed him now, one he knew he'd been burying for far too long. "Aaron," he breathed, breaking away for a brief moment. "Wanted you for so long." He slid a hand around Aaron's shoulders and leaned even closer, planting his other hand against the floor near Aaron's hip. He was almost pressing Aaron back the more he moved forward, but he couldn't stop. He wanted so much.
Aaron made a soft, hungry noise, working one arm around Spencer's waist. "This is a bad idea," he murmured breathlessly when the kiss ended, but instead of stopping it, he kissed Spencer again. He shifted around so they were facing each other, pulling Spencer closer. "Shouldn't want you as much as I do."
"Mmm," Spencer hummed, deepening the kiss and shifting so he was sitting next to Aaron instead of in front of them so that they didn't have to reach over their laps. He pressed his chest to Aaron's as soon as he was settled again. "Do you want me to stop?"
Spencer had a flash of anxiety when Aaron seemed to consider it for a moment, drawing in a deep breath, but then Aaron breathed, "No," and Spencer couldn't stop the smile that spread across his face
He kissed Aaron again, deeply. "Good. Stop talking about 'should' and 'shouldn't' now, please," he panted, and pushed against Aaron's chest, hoping he would let Spencer push him to the floor.
Aaron groaned and let him, tightening his arm around Spencer's waist as soon as Spencer had settled down on him. "Spencer," he breathed between kisses. Spencer could feel Aaron's fingers running through his hair. "Wonderful."
Spencer kissed him again hungrily, trying to convey how much he wanted Aaron, how long he'd wanted Aaron. Aaron arched under him and slid one leg around Spencer's, sending a thrill of desire through Spencer's body. "God," he gasped.
"'ve wanted to do this for so long," Aaron confessed.
That sent an even bigger thrill through Spencer. "Should've done something sooner," Spencer breathed, shifting to work a knee between Hotch's to support himself better. Aaron's breath hitched, though, when the move pressed their groins together.
"I didn't think I should do it at all," Aaron replied.
Spencer pulled back and looked at Aaron. Aaron looked breathless and beautiful, and Spencer leaned down to place a soft kiss on his lips again, just because he couldn't stop himself. He pulled back again and held Aaron's gaze. "You're one of the smartest people I know," he breathed, ignoring the fact that he had known several other geniuses in his lifetime, as he didn't talk to any of them now. "It amazes me sometimes how incredibly dense you can be about your own happiness."
Aaron's lips parted, and Spencer could tell those were the last words that Aaron had expected to hear. After a moment, when Aaron appeared to still be speechless, Spencer leaned down again and gave him a slow kiss, exploring Aaron's mouth with his own. Aaron relaxed, melting under Spencer's body, and Spencer felt vindicated... until he pulled away, and Aaron breathed, "I could say the same about you."
It startled Spencer a little, and he looked at Hotch. After a moment, he laughed softly and kissed Aaron again. "Handsome," he said, blatantly changing the subject.
"Mmm, yes, you are," Aaron replied, which Spencer hadn't expected, but possibly should have. "Tall and lean and so expressive." He smiled, a broad, genuine smile that made Spencer suck in a breath.
"That's not what I meant," Spencer managed, but Aaron was running fingers through his hair and stroking them down his neck. It sent pleasant shivers all the way through Spencer, and when he shifted, he sucked in another breath as his arousal pressed against Aaron's hip.
Aaron's hand trailed down his spine to rest at the small of his back. "Mm, I'm glad we got snowed in together."
"I wish the lights would come back on," Spencer admitted. He pressed down again, because God it felt good having Hotch underneath him. He brushed his hands down Aaron's jaw, and followed his fingers with his lips. "Thank you for talking to me," he murmured.
Aaron's breath had gone a little unsteady, but after a moment, he breathed, "Huh?"
Spencer closed his eyes and licked Aaron's throat. "You... talk to me. You listen to me." He scraped his teeth over skin and Aaron hissed and arched under him. "We-- just now-- eating... anyone else would have just shut me down," he breathed. Maybe Emily wouldn't, but that was beside the point. "You do that. A lot. Listen to me."
"I like listening to you," Aaron murmured. "You aren't like...anyone else I know, and that's a good thing, Spencer." Spencer felt a tugging at the back of his shirt and a moment later Aaron's warm hand was sliding up under it. "You're fascinating." He took a shuddery breath when Spencer's teeth scraped his skin again.
"No, I'm not; I'm just... Spencer," Spencer said. It shouldn't feel so good, Aaron's hand on his bare skin, but it did. Spencer was half tempted to just tug his shirt off so Aaron could touch him everywhere. Instead, he started working open Aaron's buttons, letting out a disappointed noise when his fingers brushed an undershirt instead of skin. "This is hardly fair," he complained, and bit a little harder at Aaron's neck.
Aaron had started to laugh, but it turned into a strangled yelp when Spencer bit him. "God!" he gasped, sliding his hand up further. "We really shouldn't do this here," he said after a few moments. "Mm, Spencer."
Spencer smiled against Aaron's skin, and bit down again, a little lower, as he pulled open the rest of the buttons of Aaron's shirt. "It's just us." He pulled Aaron's undershirt up and slid his hand under it, his fingers cold against Aaron's stomach and chest.
Aaron hissed and jerked in surprise. "Cold!" He stroked his hand along Spencer's spine. "We're in my office," he murmured. "This...mm...this is inappropriate." He wasn't going to stop protesting on his own, so Spencer kissed him to shut him up. It proved nicely effective, as Aaron melted into the kiss and stopped arguing. The hand on Spencer's back slid down to rest at the waist of his pants and Aaron arched up against him again.
"Mmm, Aaron," Spencer hummed, and then deliberately thrust against Aaron, their cocks sliding together under layers of fabric. Aaron gasped and arched under him, and Spencer couldn't help but watch him. He was amazing, his expression falling into lines of desire instead of his normal frown. Spencer was struck by the fact that no other team member had ever seen Aaron like this. "I'm so lucky you want me," he panted.
"Spencer," Aaron gasped, "Spencer..." He caught Spencer's mouth in a hungry kiss, then rolled them so Aaron was on top, pinning Spencer to the floor. "I wanted you before I was allowed to want you," he murmured, and dropped a kiss on Spencer's throat. "I ought to stop this. We should resist..." He kissed Spencer's jaw, then nibbled lightly. "But being around you makes me happy." He licked along Spencer's jaw to breathe in his ear, "I need you."
Aaron's lips and teeth were already sending waves of need through Spencer, but when Aaron finished, Spencer shivered. "Ungh," was all he managed in reply, the thrill of the moment, and Aaron's warm breath and soft voice in his ear, overwhelming him all at once. He hastily reached down to take the bottom of Aarons' shirt in his hands and tugged. "Off," he said, then groaned when it got stuck around Aaron's arms and Aaron didn't move. "Off!" he breathed, and Aaron moved to let him.
Once the shirt was pulled free, Aaron's fingers were in Spencer's hair again and his mouth was sucking at Spencer's throat. Spencer let it deter him from his primary objective for a moment, pressing up into Aaron's lips with a groan, but then he refocused and tugged at Aaron's undershirt. "This too."
Aaron huffed a small laugh against Spencer's skin, but shifted to let Spencer take off the undershirt. Aaron said something then, but Spencer didn't hear it. He pressed his palm against Aaron's chest to keep him from leaning back down, so that he could take in Aaron's body. His fingertips traveled over the planes of Aaron's chest, and then Aaron spoke again, and this time Spencer looked at him. "Huh?"
Aaron looked amused. "I said, 'now this is hardly fair'."
Spencer smiled softly. "I'm hoping if I get you naked enough, there'll be no way for you to back down."
Aaron laughed, though Spencer thought he could see a hint of guilt in his face. "I wouldn't be able to back down now," he murmured. "I've wanted this for too long." He stroked a hand down Spencer's chest to rest on his belly. "You aren't going along with this because I'm your SAC, and we both know you don't need to do this for advancement in the Bureau. I'm not entirely sure why you want someone like me, but I'm convinced that you do."
Spencer was relieved that Aaron wasn't asking for reassurances, but he wished Aaron had a better opinion of himself. He was the best man Spencer knew, but he seemed incapable of seeing himself that way. "I do," he murmured, pressing his hips up against Aaron's.
"I'm--" Aaron cut off with a gasp, then slid his hand down to slide under Spencer's shirt and push it up. "I want to see you, Spencer," he murmured.
"As well as you can in the candlelight," Spencer said wryly, but he was secretly glad for the dim lighting now. At least this way he might not look quite so skinny.
"Off," Aaron breathed, tugging at Spencer's shirt.
"Is there an echo?" Spencer teased, but sat up a bit and let Aaron pull his shirt off. Once he settled back down, he slid his hand between their bodies and cupped Aaron through his pants, his palm cupping Aaron's balls as he pressed his thumb against Aaron's cock, stroking up it a bit. Aaron drew in a shaky breath, letting his eyes flutter shut, and then seemed to struggle with himself a moment about whether he was going to enjoy what Spencer was doing, or continue touching and undressing Spencer.
He finally let the breath out and started pulling open the button of Spencer's pants without opening his eyes. It seemed to be a compromise between the two options. "When did you get so assertive?" Aaron breathed, pressing down into Spencer's hand.
"When I realized you wanted me." Spencer shifted and pressed against Aaron more.
Aaron made a noise that was probably supposed to be a laugh. He opened his eyes and looked at Spencer's face, his dark eyes hazed with desire. "It's sexy," he murmured.
Spencer was thrilled by those words, even though they seemed a little silly. How could he, Spencer Reid, be sexy? But Aaron obviously thought he was, and that was what mattered. "Assertiveness is easy when you're trying to get someone to agree to something you know he wants," Spencer said.
Aaron shook his head. "Always so...self-deprecating," he said, then broke off with a groan as Spencer rolled his palm against his cock again. "God, get undressed!" Aaron panted.
Spencer grinned. "I can't! You're sitting on top of me!" he said. Aaron panted a tiny laugh, then shifted to move, but Spencer grabbed the top of his pants to stop him. He pulled Aaron's pants open first, making sure he wasn't the only one about to take his clothes off. "You too."
"Mmm," Aaron hummed, and Spencer wasn't sure what that meant.
Aaron rolled to Spencer's side and hooked his fingers into the top of Spencer's pants. He started to push down, and Spencer helped, but Spencer couldn't help noticing that Aaron was watching his body as it was revealed inch by inch. Once Spencer's pants and underwear were down to his knees, Aaron leaned over and kissed Spencer's stomach as Spencer kicked them off. "So beautiful," Aaron murmured.
"I don't see--" 'you undressing', Spencer meant to say, but the Aaron placed a wet, open-mouthed kiss on the head of his cock, and Spencer gasped, arching against the floor.
Aaron made a smug-sounding noise and licked delicately where he had kissed. "Beautiful," he asserted again, and Spencer couldn't even come up with words to argue. He whimpered as Aaron licked a teasing trail along the length of his cock, then protested when Aaron drew back altogether.
"Oh, you didn't want me naked?" Aaron said, watching him with a bare hint of a smile. "I must have misunderstood."
"Hey!" Spencer began, but Aaron was already pushing his own pants down, kicking off his shoes and crawling out of the pants.
"I love it that you're this demanding." Aaron sounded amused, but his voice was husky with desire. It sent a thrill of anticipation all through Spencer.
"Really?" Spencer asked, breathless. "Okay, then either do what you were doing again, or get back on top of me. I want to feel you." He hooked a hand around Aaron's neck to kiss him, and as he drew Aaron near, Aaron slid back over Spencer. Spencer couldn't stop the moan that resulted from the feel of naked skin against naked skin running the length of their bodies. God, he was naked with Aaron. It was hard to believe, but incredible. He slid his hand down to cup Aaron's ass and pull him against him.
Aaron let out a quiet noise and ran his hand up Spencer's side. "Feels wonderful," he murmured, rocking his hips against Spencer's so their cocks slid together. "God, you're sexy. Never thought--I could have--this." He worked his hand between them to circle both of their cocks, his thumb sweeping across the heads. "Spencer..."
Spencer gasped, his breath going ragged, and then blurted, "Oh, God, Aaron, fuck me!" and shifted into Aaron's hand.
That got a surprised noise from Aaron, who dipped his head to kiss Spencer hungrily. "Not this time," he murmured, trailing his lips along Spencer's jaw and stroking their cocks slowly. "I want this, want something easy so I can watch you."
Spencer panted hard as Aaron's fingers moved over him, but the pang of disappointment was still there, and as much as he knew intellectually that this wasn't a rejection, it still felt a little like that. He swallowed, fighting for his breath. "You can watch me... like that," he said, and then held the other things he'd meant to say because even he could hear that his voice didn't sound quite as assertive or confident as it had just moment's before.
"I can, but--" Aaron's breathing hitched and he pressed down against Spencer again. "I've never," he admitted after a moment. "But this feels so good." Aaron stopped moving, his face just inches from Spencer's. "Let's figure out the rest later," he murmured, "and just feel this tonight."
Spencer sucked in a shaky breath, not sure why it hadn't crossed his mind that Aaron hadn't been with another man before. He'd married his high school sweetheart, after all, and hadn't been divorced long. Spencer wanted to feel Aaron inside of him, he wanted to push--God, he wanted--but he swallowed and reminded himself this wasn't going to be the last time with Aaron. He nodded slowly after a moment. "You want me, though?" he whispered.
Aaron pressed his face to Spencer's neck. "God, yes."
Spencer kissed his ear. "Why me?"
Aaron laughed softly. "Too many reasons to list," he said, and started moving his hand slowly along their cocks again. His next words were punctuated with gasps and shivers. "You're enthusiastic and brilliant and, mmm, always an enigma. You're handsome and oddly--vulnerable sometimes. And we almost lost you to Hankel--" He broke off, and Spencer deduced that it was then, in Georgia, that Aaron had realized how he felt.
"So long ago?" he murmured, trying to keep thinking straight despite Aaron's hand and the slow, teasing strokes. "Aaron, you should have--"
"If I'd said anything, I would have been out of line," Aaron cut in. His hand moved faster along their cocks. "I loved my wife. I swore an oath to her."
And you couldn't understand how you could want me, anyway, Spencer thought. "I imagine you've castigated yourself enough for it," he said wryly.
He was rewarded by a jolt of pleasure as Aaron thrust, sliding their cocks together with a groan. Aaron's only reply was a little grunt this time, and Spencer gasped and arched against him. "I... I want you," he whispered. "I want everything."
"You'll have it," Aaron murmured. He rolled his hips down and squeezed his hand, and Spencer could feel pleasure coiling up in his body.
Spencer slid his hand up Aaron's back, then cupped his hand against Aaron's jaw to kiss him soundly, the sparks of pleasure going straight to his needy cock. "Aaron," he panted, shifting up against him.
"So beautiful, Spencer," Aaron breathed. "So sexy." He kissed Spencer hungrily, thrusting against Spencer's cock again.
Spencer let out a little cry at the slide of their bodies, and the force of Aaron's movements, then Aaron's thumb ran through the slickness on the head of his cock, and Spencer made another little wordless exclamation of pleasure. Aaron's breath was hot against his neck, and Spencer slid his leg around Aaron's, matching Aaron's movements as his body started to beg for release. "You're so-- Aaron!"
Aaron made a choked noise that might have been a laugh, but his hips jerked against Spencer's and then he tensed, gasping Spencer's name as he came.
Spencer watched him as he felt Aaron's come spill between Aaron's fingertips. He watched the normally sharp expression go slack, lost to pleasure. Then Aaron shifted out of his hand and started to stroke Spencer alone, his eyes half lidded and murmuring endearments, and it was too much. The slickness of Aaron's release, mixed with Aaron's words and the utter peaceful affection in Aaron's expression and voice caused the tightness building in Spencer's body to wind down to the base of his spine. And then he was coming too, with a gasp, clutching at Aaron as Aaron stroked him through the spasms and delicious shudders of his release until he was spent.
When Aaron collapsed on top of him, Spencer's arms slid around Aaron fully, feeling the quick rise and fall of Aaron's chest. "God, Aaron."
"Spencer," Aaron panted, and Spencer felt soft kisses pressed to his neck. "That was wonderful." The warm puffs of breath against Spencer's neck made him shiver deliciously, reminding him that they were both mostly naked on the floor of Aaron's office. The rational part of Spencer's brain suggested they get cleaned up and dressed. His body utterly refused to move.
"This is definitely a better Christmas than I was anticipating," he murmured, and felt Aaron's laughter in his chest.
"I haven't even given you your present yet," Aaron said, and shifted just enough to kiss Spencer's mouth.
"You got me a present?"
"Mm-hmm," Aaron replied, and slid off to Spencer's side. "Later. I'm not sure I can walk right now.
Spencer wished he'd had the foresight to spread the blanket under them before he'd pressed Aaron to the floor--Aaron's carpet wasn't the softest stuff--but it still felt nice when Aaron wrapped him in his arms.
Spencer also wished he'd had the foresight to get Aaron a present too, but he hadn't considered it, and even if he had, he would have second guessed his intentions until he wound up not doing it anyway. "I didn't get you anything," he said regretfully.
"You didn't need to," Aaron panted. "You gave me yourself."
"That's not the same thing," Spencer said and kissed Aaron's forehead. "You gave me yourself too, and got me a second gift."
"I hadn't planned on this."
"Neither had I."
"Spencer... be quiet and enjoy this. Please."
Spencer would have been embarrassed, but he could hear a hint of laughter in Aaron's voice, so he just snuggled against Aaron and listened to them breathing together. He'd never imagined he could feel so utterly content lying naked on the floor with his boss. At that thought he felt amusement bubbling up inside him. He tried to fight it, but after a moment he was laughing softly.
He felt Aaron sigh, but a gentle hand came up to stroke his hair. "What's funny?" Aaron asked after a moment. There was a long-suffering note in his voice.
Spencer shook his head. "I just...no matter how many times I thought about something like this happening, I never quite envisioned myself lying naked on the floor with my boss."
"Hmm," Aaron hummed. He tilted his chin up to kiss Spencer's jaw. "I'm not your boss right now," he said gently.
Spencer could feel questions pressing against his teeth, wanting out. What is this? What are we going to do? What happens if--when--the others figure it out? He swallowed hard and pushed them away, trying to do as Aaron had said and enjoy it. After a minute of trying to relax against Aaron's chest, he realized he was shivering again.
Aaron noticed. He grunted. "Wait, don't get dressed," he murmured, and pulled gently away from Spencer to get the blanket. He settled back down a minute later, spreading the blanket over them, and pulled Spencer back into his arms.
Spencer closed his eyes and sucked in a breath. That was wonderful, even if his mind wouldn't quite stop. "Your floor is hard."
"You're just too bony," Aaron murmured affectionately, and Spencer was about to complain, but a moment later, Aaron was pulling Spencer on top of him. "Better?"
"Aaron..."
"Relax."
Spencer thought it was a little ironic, actually, that Aaron was so relaxed right now--that Aaron was telling anyone else to relax at all--but it was nice. Aaron stroked his hands down Spencer's back, and Spencer let his head rest on Aaron's shoulder. After a moment, though, Aaron seemed to sense the unspoken questions. "Are you okay?"
Spencer tried to just nod, but finally he whispered, "What are we doing?" It wasn't really what he wanted to ask, but even to his own mind the real questions seemed too needy.
Aaron seemed to understand, anyway. "I told you before that you could have everything," he murmured, his fingers sliding through Spencer's hair. "I meant that."
The touch was soothing, and Spencer relaxed a little more, kissing Aaron's neck. "And what about... them?" he asked, tilting his head barely in the direction of the bullpen.
Aaron sighed. "I don't know." His hands moved down to Spencer's shoulder's where the kneaded softly. "I'd be surprised if they haven't noticed anything already. I'd be surprised if they aren't expecting it."
Spencer looked up at Aaron from where he was resting against Aaron's shoulder. "But?"
Aaron sucked in a breath, and Spencer felt him hold it for a moment. He knew Aaron wasn't okay with this on a professional level, no matter what the personal benefits were, and he wasn't sure he ever would be. Still, Spencer thought that having this would be better than not having it, for both of them, and he hoped Aaron knew that above any other concerns he had.
"Let's worry about that later," Aaron finally murmured. "Tonight, I don't want to worry. Tonight I have another blanket and a pillow in the credenza and I want to sleep with you in my arms, and wake up with you on Christmas morning." Aaron's arms slid around Spencer and held him tightly, and when he spoke next, his voice was warm again. "Even if all we have for breakfast is a couple of fruit cups and coffee. Oh, and I think there might still be cake in the fridge from the last intern's birthday."
Spencer took a slow breath and then nodded against Aaron's chest. "Tonight we won't worry," he agreed, and closed his eyes. He knew it wouldn't be as simple as that, but it was what Aaron wanted, and Spencer would try.
The silence drew out between them, and Spencer felt Aaron's breathing deepening as he approached sleep. One of them ought to go get the pillow and blanket, but Spencer couldn't bring himself to move. Instead he lay still and thought about all the times he'd wanted Aaron so much it ached, relishing the fact that now he had what he'd wanted. Finally he realized they were both shivering occasionally, so he kissed Aaron's jaw and drew away.
Aaron made a noise of protest, but Spencer just pressed a finger to his lips. "I'll be right back," he promised, and crawled through the near-total darkness to where he thought the credenza was. He fumbled through it until he found the pillow and blanket, then crawled back towards the desk. He fell over Aaron, who was closer than Spencer had thought. Aaron let out a grunt, but then started laughing sleepily, and that made Spencer grin just because Aaron didn't laugh often enough.
Finally they got themselves settled down again under the blankets, Aaron's head on the pillow and Spencer's head on Aaron's shoulder. Aaron's hand stroked idly along Spencer's side for a while, then he apparently fell asleep. Spencer wasn't long in following.
PART THREE
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Date: 2008-12-24 01:04 am (UTC)A note, though, the Investigative Support Unit (formerly the BAU) at Quantico is located 7 floors below ground. There's not a window in the world that'd give them light down there, regardless of the weather. Just because factual errors that I notice bother me.
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Date: 2008-12-24 01:13 am (UTC)I'm glad you liked it, factual deviations notwithstanding. *G*
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Date: 2008-12-24 09:42 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-12-24 01:16 am (UTC)Thanks.
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Date: 2009-02-01 11:22 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-02 12:09 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-02 12:10 am (UTC)